


Flower Thief

by Ririscus



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Real World, Anxiety Disorder, Child Abuse, Depression, Drug Addiction, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Heavy Angst, I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Kidnapping, Minor Character Death, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Relationship(s), Psychological Torture, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Yandere
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2019-05-10 09:11:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 27
Words: 89,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14734136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ririscus/pseuds/Ririscus
Summary: Flowers are fragile things. They could break and rip, wither and die. And yet, they symbolize happiness and joy.To just steal someone's flowers is a crime so wrong.





	1. Meeting #1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Everyone! Riri's back!
> 
> *Reads Tags* This is utterly different than my first fanfic. 
> 
> A little less slice of lifey and a bit more drama and seriousness. If you don't prefer that type of writing. I prefer reading Wilt. Of course, there's drama and blood but not as much as this fanfic will have. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy Flower Theif!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friday, September 25, 2017
> 
> A girl meets a man in an unknown place. A deal is made, money for lives. She has been meeting him for weeks now, risking her own life for others. 
> 
> However, money doesn't last forever.

A girl peers over a bunch of shrubs, covering her knees. The night covers the sky, blanketed with black and little stars. She wears all black matching the night, not revealing her face. She pulls out her phone from her pocket, calling yet another unknown number. After a few rings, it picked up. 

"Hey, I'm here," she whispers. The call drops and the girl saw for a man, also dressed in black. She sees a twisted smile on his face and frowns. "Let's get this over with, shall we." The man nods in agreement. 

The girl sighs and digs into her pocket, finding a pink envelope. A large white sticky note with the words _3,000_   _dollars._ The man hesitantly looks at it and holds a gun near the girl's forehead. The girl, used to this, stands calmly and waits for all of this to end. 

"Why do you do still point that gun at me. You know it's not fake. We have been doing this for weeks." The gun forcefully presses the tip of the gun to her forehead, cold metal meeting with her warm skin. The girl tenses and looks towards the ground. 

"Safety measures are important. I can't trust a worthless girl like you, not even capable of bringing a couple thousand dollars." The girl says nothing, averting her eyes to the right. "Now, did anyone see you do this?" 

"No, everyone was asleep." 

"Did you lie about the amount?" 

"No, the label is the exactly the amount in there." 

"Are you with any weapon." 

"No." The girl bites her lip before adding, "I don't even know how to use one." 

The breeze flows by giving the girl shrivers, pulling the hood of her black sweater. Through her dull eyes and emotionless face, she's scared. She's more afraid that the man can see right through her. 

With the gun pressed on her forehead, the man grips the envelope from the girl and opens it's greedily. He then counts the money slowly, leaving the girl annoyed. After he checks her body for weapons. She bites her lip, trying not to be uncomfortable. After he is done and lifts the gun from her forehead, the girl lets out a silent sigh of relief. She lifts her eyes to meet his eyes. 

"You promise to not go near or hurt any of us?" 

"Not if you can't see me." The girl frowns, unamused. "Fine, deal. Until next week." 

The girl turns away, content of the result of the meeting but realized something and turns back. "You know, you can stop if you want. Therapy is a thing, take advantage of it."

"Did I ask you for your opinion, little fuck." 

The girl sighs, slightly hurt. "Nevermind. Forget I said anything." 

She walks away alone, the mystery figure of a man disappears. He's been doing this for weeks now and she's worried that next week, she wouldn't have enough money. She had to resort to stealing this week and still had a couple dollars short.   
She's currently in debt. 

However, her friends are worth it. Not paying will result in them of being watched, hurt, or even killed. Knowing the man and his unpredictability, he will do it. He hates all of them. Her love of her friends doesn't increase the amounts of money she has.

The girl prays that he doesn't notice the $250 missing.

 After exiting the forestry area she was just in, she pulls off her hood, embracing the cool night. She looks to the sky, still full of soft bright lights. Her eyes averted to her house, quiet and still. Three other girls live in that house, her best friends. They live in fear. In fear that people will hurt them or kill them. She wishes that she can tell them, that they don't have to be fearful anymore. That she is paying the man to practically leave them alone. Only a couple of thousand dollars to live normal lives again! Doesn't that sound reasonable! Being in debt is better than being in fear.

Being in debt is better than being in guilt.

She quickly puts on her hood again, trying to still her shaking legs. A tear rolls down her cheek, hitting the cool stone pavement. This is not alright. This is not okay. However, she practically has no choice. She can't tell anyone, she can't do anything, she's stuck in this hopeless ditch.

She utterly has no idea how to dig up.

 


	2. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monday, September 28, 2017
> 
> Monika goes out running, not knowing what will come in the near future

_"Get out of here before I shoot," I say slowly and carefully, holding a pistol in both hands. I guard three others, my friends, that all huddled together. One is unconscious._

_The boy in front of me sneered. He had a gun but he held it at his sides. "Fucking Monika. We both know you wouldn't do that. Your panic attacks make you weak, but fortunately, I like dependent girls."_

_I gasp. "I thought I trusted you with that!" My voice trembles slightly as I fight to grasp my footing._

_"And I trusted you with love. I guess we both failed to deliver."_

_"Monika," a voice in the back begged quietly. I didn't respond, too deep in anger and despair._

_"It wasn't love, you only wanted me to fulfill your desires. You wanted me to yourself!"_

_"Those were only lies, Monika. I am a man that you can love and trust-"_

_"And I believed you! I believed every word for months. But a person that I love wouldn't try to keep me to their self. A person that I trust wouldn't sabotage me and my friends!" Salty tears rolled down my face, but I didn't attempt to wipe them. I focused all my attention on the boy. All of my attention to the bullseye on his chest if it came that far._

_The two that were conscious in back trembled at Monika's words, tears pouring from their eyes._

_It only made the boy angrier. "Their not your friends Monika, I mean, not now. I was in the literature club for four months and I could see realize how fake they are. Sayori, the little bundle of sunshine, is probably depressed. She defended you unafraid because she wanted to be shot by me. I hope that blow kills her._

_As for that slut Yuri, she cuts for fun. Big, slim red scars on your skin that will never come off just for pleasure? You're disgusting." The boy glares at the purple haired girl huddling in the back. The girl cries in the unconscious's one shoulder, which was Sayori._

_"Natsuki's abused by her papa. Not strong enough to fight from a drunk like that? Pathetic, don't you think?" The girl on the right, Natsuki, burns bright red and bites her lip, trying not to say anything to get herself killed._

_I, close to sobbing at this point, try to still my pistol in my shaking hands. I look at the floor, not able to look the boy in the eyes. It’s not true, is it? Please be not true!_

_"Isn't this a shock Monika? Do you just want to yell at them, to hurt them, to kill them?"_

_I could hear the soft sobs that I emitted. Please don’t be true, please don’t be true! The boy smiles deviously. He carefully raises his gun to meet the trembling two girls and the silent third's. I try to move but I can’t. Fear builds up inside me, causing me to sob even more. I can’t let him do this! I can’t let him kill my friends. Fight it for once!_

_"Don't worry Monika. I can do it for you if you don't like the sight of-"_

_"Don't!" I looked him at the eye with newfound determination. That was enough to knock him off his high horse."Even if all of that is true, and that they all hid that from me, I will never hurt them, nevertheless kill them. I love them too much for that. I used to love you like that too, but today you lost it. I have absolutely no love and trust in you".  I meant it with all my heart._

_"Monika," The voice begged again. I didn't listen, too caught up in the moment._

_Haru grimaced and his eyes, for once, are burning with pure anger._

_"Fucking Monika, you're always too difficult. But don't worry, I'll fix you soon." All too quick, Haru pulls up his gun and shoots. It plunged into my side, creating a hole through my clear smooth skin. Warm sticky blood arose from the wound and bloodied my uniform. Pain explodes in my body._

_"MONIKA!"_

_I stumbled, pushed back from the blow. I bit my lip, trying my best not to scream out with this unbearable pain that courses through my body. I stared at Haru in shock, my eyes already fluttering. Come on Monika, they won’t be saved if you faint now! Even if my whole body screamed I wasn’t going to let this slip by me. I grabbed my side with my free arm, raised up my pistol, hoped for the best, and shot._

_The last thing I saw was Haru falling, grabbing his leg in pain._

_I hoped that if I was going to die, that the literature club would be okay without me._

_I hoped Haru would go to jail for all he has done to us._

* * *

 

I woke up, my breathing ragged. I grasped my chest to relieve some of the pain. I was back inside of my bedroom, sitting up on the bed. Oh. 

I glanced at my alarm clock, sitting on the bedside table. 5:39. Great. 

I began to stand up, telling that I wouldn't be able to sleep again and went to the bathroom. I saw that the wound from three months ago has gotten better. It was a bleeding mess when we were at the hospital. Now, it's just a couple of stitches on the side of my stomach. 

The doctor said I was really lucky to still be living, the bullet almost hit my ribcage in a way that could be deadly. 

_It plunged into my side, creating a hole through my clear smooth skin. Warm sticky blood arose from the wound and bloodied my uniform. Pain explodes everywhere in my body._

After freshening up, I got on my gym clothes and readied myself for running. I ran every morning, sometimes I do it for my stress and anxiety. Other times, I do it just to get some air. It feels great getting some fresh air on your face. 

Natsuki doesn't understand why I like it though. She sees it as extra exercise and who would want that? I want to get her out here, to prove her wrong, but she usually sleeps during the regular time I run. To think about it, only Yuri ran with me before. Natsuki reads her manga until all night, which leads to her complaining in the morning. Sayori usually watches cartoons and play games. She likes visual novels the best, replaying the same game over to get with all the girls. 

"They all seem to like me, ya know," I remembered Sayori once saying, probably delusional from an all-nighter. "I didn't want them to get sad, so I spend time with all of them! It's fun seeing what each girl offers." Most of me thought she was just being delusional from sleep (again) but part of me gets her. Somewhat. 

As long as their up doing something that makes them happy, I'm happy. 

I opened the door to see a dark blue sky, lightened up with little stars dotting the sky. The cold autumn breeze hits my face, my hair flows silently behind me. I smile. The more time I have, the more time running I guess. I'm sure the others won't mind if I'm out thirty more minutes than usual.  

 I jogged on the vacant sidewalk, running the familiar path I been taking for years. I only went out of the path a couple times because of not knowing the neighborhood well and getting lost. Before, I didn't stray from the path because I didn't had time. Now, I don't go off the path because I'm afraid of _him_. 

  _Fucking Monika, you're always too difficult. But don't worry, I'll fix you, soon."_

I shivered at the thought. Those words had always scared me, keeping me up at night. What is he going to do? Is he going to kidnap me? To kill me? These thoughts had recked me for months, but they died down over time. It's been nine months, almost a year now. If he was going to do something, he would have already done it. 

I shake off the memory, ridding myself of awful memories. _Him_ betraying the club. _Him_ shooting me. Me, drawing blood for the first time. Me, too caught up in the moment, determined to kill him. 

  
_I could've killed him. I could've killed a man. He pained me, but not that much. I could of never hate somebody that much._

 It's been nine months. Nine months of hiding and terror and tears. He's not coming back. He's never coming back. I need to get that inside my head! 

I'm going. I'm going to run beyond the path. I'm tired of being scared all the time! The jog became a run and soon I was sprinting on the vacant trail, passing my imaginative end line. A sacred indescribable feeling burns it's way in my chest, causing me to smile stupidly. It wasn't fake, staged, or forcing like many others. It was pure and welcoming, but strong and pure. My confidence shined through with each step, pushing through the now unknown land.

 I thoroughly believed there was no reason to be afraid anymore. 

* * *

I arrived at the house a little later than I usually do, running a little father than most days. The confidence still in my soul burns with pride, a wanting to run another mile, but I couldn't. The other girls don't know where I was and I don't want them to worry. 

I opened the door to be rushed with a blur of purple hair. I stumbled and tried to speak in protest, but a hand covered my mouth. The figure just hugged me limply. I hugged her tightly, wanting to comfort her but I am still confused. After a moment the figure moves away and looks up at me, her glorious purple eyes filled with tears. She moves her shaking hand away from my mouth. 

"Where were you," she whispers, anger wisping up in her voice. I stood confused. 

"Running," I say. She motions me quickly to keep my voice down. Natsuki and Sayori were still asleep. "Why?"

"I- He- Just come here." She leads me in the house by her hand, leading me to the television buzzing meaninglessly in the background. She sits down on my white couch, placing her hand on her mouth to muffle her sobs. "I woke up to this." 

The television showed a news channel. After a regular weather report, a breaking news section appeared. A woman with a black hair bun looks directly on the screen, a serious look on her face. "Now showing live coverage of a murder scene up in Austin, Texas where a 43-year-old man gotten murdered last night. His wife, the victim, reported having seen him get beaten to death from her spot in the closet. The murderer, the victim says, looks like this." A photo appears on screen, a boy, sixteen. It's _him_. 

The woman starts again. "If you ever have seen this man before, please call the police." 

The newswoman fades away to a prerecorded video following the live coverage. It reported that not only that this person killed that man but four other people. I stumbled when I saw the photos. "Yuri. Are they-" 

Yuri interrupts me before I could choke out the rest. "Yes. Natsuki's mother and Sayori's parents and brother and-and my father were all killed. By- By-" Yuri sobs again, her whole body shaking. She hides her face in her pajama shirt. 

"Yuri. I'm sorry. I- Just-" I pulled the sobbing girl in a hug. Yuri clings to me tightly, wetting my gym shirt. I felt my own tears falling, I never met Natsuki's mother before. Natsuki says that her mother was very caring and kind to her, but had to leave because her father was just too much. Her father kept the house they were living in and Natsuki. Natsuki's mother visited once a month, but Natsuki wouldn't let us meet her. She says her Papa watches all interaction with her and her mother. She's doing this to keep us safe. 

Sayori's family was like a second to me. Sayori's parents were so supportive of her, and really welcoming to all of us and me and Sayori's relationship. They also tried to cheer her up if she ever has one of her not so good days. Her little brother was just like Sayori, cheerful and energetic. They were just going to a vacation the last time we saw them. Sayori didn't go, caught up in summer school since she sleeps a lot and misses valuable learning time. Yuri parents too were so nice and kind to her, she really cared for them. They were going to a business meeting when we last saw them. They never made it.

We had so much fun together.

When Yuri calms down and reducing her grip, she looks at me fearfully. "You know what's he doing, what's he's going to do next." There was no need for more explanation.

"I don't know. I guess I can stay with my aunt until the police catch him. My aunt is the only one I actually care about, he knows that," I whispered, trying to ignore the trembling in my voice.

"But are you sure? What if he kills somebody else close to you. What if he still comes." Yuri squeezes my hand. "What if you both get killed." 

"I don't know, Yuri. All I know is that I can't let that fool hurt my aunt." Yuri nods slowly, knowing that she can't change my mind. I'm very independent. Stubborn but independent.

We sat in silence for a while, thinking. This was just too fast. Ten minutes ago, I was running with a pure passion, confidence roaring inside me. Now, I'm crying and weak and utterly lost. Five important people in our lives had gotten killed over a matter of weeks.

"Yuri, what are we going to tell Natsuki and Sayori," I whispered, looking at the four photos on the screen. Yuri looks at me sadly. Tear stains shone in her eyes, her hair fizzed out, she looked distressed.  

"I don't know, Moni. I don't know." 

 

 

 

 


	3. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monday, September 28, 2017  
> The morning was hell. The school day was hell. And, when Monika thinks finally things will go well, it turns out to be hell.
> 
> At least her friends are there to comfort her.

"I don't know how Yuri had gotten sick that fast," Natsuki says, walking out of the house. It was hours later and Sayori, Natsuki, and I were walking out of the house, getting ready for school. Yuri had coped herself up in her room griefing her father. She had used the excuse of  'being sick' and surprisingly, the others brought it. She wasn't ready to act like everything was fine quite yet.  Yet I, not yet understanding what really happened, still wanted to go. If both of us was sick Sayori and Natsuki would worry. 

"Let's hope she doesn't catch it on to us," Sayori laughed in front of us, skipping in delight. Natsuki shrugged and walked with her while I trailed behind. How could I tell them? Natsuki and Sayori would be heartbroken. For Natsuki, her mother was the only escape from her father. For Sayori, her family was some of her greatest supporters. How could I tell them that they are all gone and never coming back?

"Monika, are you okay?" A looked up to see Sayori, concern written on her face, staring at me. 

"Everything's fine," I say, my voice surprisingly light. "Let's get to school before we are late!" 

Sayori had a hint of suspicion on her face, but I brushed it off.

The rest of the school day was normal. Except it wasn't.

The whole school seemed to be moving too fast. While I was stuck with this one thought friends still talked normally, teachers still push due dates on my chest, people still laughed and smiled. I wanted to scream, to cry, to show that five amazing people died over the course of a week! I wanted the school to mourn the undeserved deaths. However, people simply don't care about me or my friend's lives. Instead of being empowering, I'll be annoying, so I choked it up inside me. It felt like a weight on my mind and chest that I couldn't shake off. 

Sayori kept checking on me after each class period. Natsuki's gaze was surprisingly worried.

When lunch finally came, I wished that I should stay home with Yuri. My head throbs like an unmistakeable hangover and my heart felt like at the life was sucked out of it. I was utterly exhausted.

Sayori, which was in my class that period, stopped me at the door. "You're not feeling well. Are you sure you didn't get sick?" I sigh. 

"I'm fine, Sayori. It's just... It's just a bad day." 

"That's my line," Sayori chuckles quietly, her eyes losing their brightness for a millisecond. "But, you can tell me anything. We're friends... We're girlfriends." She stands on her toes and kisses my cheek, giving us both flustered faces. 

For the first time after this morning, a genuine smile revealed itself on my face. It wasn't necessary with my permission or because I was purely happy, I clearly wasn't. However, maybe, it was Sayori's smile. I swear, that thing could stop time.  

* * *

 

"Yuri, can I come in?" It was after school, finally. I left before the club meeting, saying I wasn't feeling well. Which was the truth, mentally. I needed someone to talk to and Yuri was the only one who would understand. 

"Sure," the voice inside said lightly. Yuri was still in her pajamas, sitting on the edge of the bed. Her eyes were huge and swollen with red from tears all day, the light was lost in her eyes, and her hair frizzed even more. She looked so exhausted and I cursed myself thinking that I was miserable. Meanwhile, she blushed at me having to look at her current condition but didn't say anything. In fact, she only merely whispered, "do they know?" 

"No, I haven't had the courage. After all, the school day was hell." 

 Yuri frowns. "You shouldn't push yourself. I insisted you stayed home. A comfortable environment would have calmed you down some."

"Unfortanly that wasn't a choice." 

"They would have understood." 

"What if they kept on pushing and pushing..." I tensed, biting my lip from saying more. Yuri gaze softens and pats a seat on the bed next to her. I silently obeyed her movements.

"We have to tell them at some point, these are their family members." 

"But-" 

"If something happened to your aunt, would you like to know as soon as possible?" 

I thought about it some and solemnly nodded. 

"I think they will like to know too." 

"But I can't! I can't break hearts like that! Expesscally when _he_ is the suspect! I wouldn't be able to let the words out. Fear will catch me. Fear _always_ catches me. I guarantee you, I will have another pathetic panic attack." I closed my eyes, squeezing them tightly so I won't be able to see Yuri's face. My breathing turns ragged, indicating my dire need of a break, but I kept yelling. I didn't have a choice, every once of my body was flooded with the cold waves of fear. "Am I having one now? I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry that I'm overly sensitive! I was the only one whose family didn't get murdered and look at me! A crying mess! Why am I like this! Why-" 

"Monika!" I opened my eyes to see Yuri yelling my name, her face pained. She had her hand on my shoulder calmly. "Monika focus, please."

"I'm sorry," I say turning away. 

"Don't be. It's not your fault." 

"It is. Don't lie to me. If only I obeyed him, No, if only I obeyed them then none of this will happen! You three will be living happily and-" 

"Monika! Focus!" Yuri was now standing, a firm grip on both of my shoulders. Her face was full of despair. "Monika, please, listen to me. I'm happy that you made the choices. To rebel from your strict parents. To bravely fight against Haru. If not, my self-harming would get worse. Natsuki still wouldn't be able to trust anybody. Sayori would've killed herself at some point.  You would be absolutely miserable. The creative and unique choices you made had gotten us together, made us friends, helped us in ways I myself can't even describe! I couldn't thank you enough for that! I'm sure Sayori and Natsuki couldn't either. So please, don't say things like that." 

Unable to resist anymore, tears streamed from my eyes and onto Yuri's bedsheets. I was speechless, staring at the trembling but confident Yuri in shock. Said purple haired girl, for a few moments, smiled from finally getting through to me before reverting to her shy self. 

"It's the truth," she whispers finally, flustered.

"I-Thank you," I finally choked out. She nods, understanding.

 After a moment of recovering, Yuri moves.

"Where are you going?"

"Fixing tea," she replied, facing me with eyes full of warmth. "Want some?"

I nodded, my throat too sore to talk anytime soon.

She smiles, a smile that seems to say, _you'll be okay eventually_. I try to replicate it but instead, it seems to say _I hope so_. 

"Tell me if you need anything." And with that, she goes downstairs. Yuri is really fond of her tea, having insisted to bring her own collection of flavors and herbs when she moved here. It helps to reduce the urge from cutting but doesn't prevent it. 

_Big, slim red scars on your skin that will never come off just for pleasure? You're disgusting._

I shivered as his words echoed in my mind. The insults just kept coming, shattering my heart.

_Sayori, the little bundle of sunshine, is probably depressed. She defended you unafraid because she wanted to be shot by me. I hope that blow kills her._

_Natsuki's abused by her papa. Not strong enough to fight from a drunk like that. Pathetic, don't you think?_

I need something to distract me, now. 

I stumbled into my own room, hastily grabbed a piece of paper and wrote a poem. I enjoy writing poems, doing one every day for the literature club. However sometimes, mainly when having a panic attack, I have the urge to write. It's literally the only way I can express my feelings without disturbing anyone around me. I keep the poems safely hidden underneath my dresser. The poems, grammatically incorrect and not having little to any meaning, wait their days in the dark.

The number of poems that hide underneath there increased ten months ago. 

I leaned back in my chair, content of finishing. The poem in my hands was written quickly and barely had any thought put into it. I scoffed, disgusted. It isn't perfect, so it isn't worth anything.

Stop that. My friends have taught me a better way to think.

I slowly got the folder that holds all of my unseen poems and slipped the current poem inside. I then pushed the folder back underneath the dresser. Suddenly my mind was finally clear again. 

By the time I went downstairs, Sayori and Natsuki weren't there yet. I didn't expect them to be here anyway, seeing that they still at the club. A wave of guilt hits me, but I try to brush it off. 

I went to the kitchen to look for Yuri. A denying silence filled the room which surprised me. I expected at least a teapot piping, the sound of tea pouring, or a page turning. However, despite the everlasting silence, the sight I was delighted with warmed me. Yuri was sleeping soundly, her head laying on her right arm. The other was brushing a page of her opened book beside her, waiting to be read. Her tea was on the other side of her, it's smell flowed through my senses. 

Despite all of what happened today, Yuri looked peaceful. Even with her frizzed hair from pulling it too much and her still tear-stained face, it looked peaceful. An escape from reality is what she really needs right now.

I silently trotted back upstairs to get a light blanket to cover Yuri with. It was the beginning of autumn and I didn't want Yuri to actually get sick. She seemed to welcome the change in temperature, her lips muttering a drowsy thank you. I smiled. 

On the kitchen counter was a silver tray with three mugs. Each was decorated with our names. Sayori thought it would be cool if we had assigned mugs when they all first started living in my house. We used them ever since. 

After getting my mug, I sat on the couch in the living room, sipping the contents silently. For once, I was content, wanting everything to stay the way they are at least, for a little while. But things aren't that simple, we all know that, and things are getting much more complicated soon. 

So, for now, I have to make the most of the time I have.


	4. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monday, September 28, 2017  
> Some people say Time Heals Wounds. However, Monika isn't that sure. 
> 
> Memories of her parents still haunt her. Her anxiety is still clearly there. The thoughts of the minds of people are still goals she has to reach. 
> 
> However, with an anime, some cheesy jokes, and a four-membered literature club, Monika can forget for a while.
> 
> Monika can cope.

_ "Auntie, why aren't you like mom and dad," I asked. A figure appears in the room. A woman, no older than twenty-five with short light hazel hair. Her large curious eyes glistened with light shimmering green as they acknowledged me. "Why aren't you like me?" _

_ "Well, it took me awhile, but I learned to live." _

_ "Live? I thought I was living..."  _

_ "Mons, you have yet to learn the feeling of living free of any pain or torments."  _

_ "How could I do that if that's all I could think about. It's all I've taught to. It's not my fault, is it..." My hand clutched the front of my shirt subconsciously as I looked away in guilt. In worry. In fear. _

_ Auntie's face became stern. "It's not yours, or your parents, or even any of the world's fault! It's how society thinks and some people just crumble underneath it. Your parents were some of them."  _

_ "Oh.." I looked down, my hair covering my eyes. I guess I am one of them, knowing I worry about other's people expectations every day.  _

_ "Hey Mons, don't be down. You can still learn! It takes a lot of time, and I mean a lot. It doesn't fully go away either, it bugs me even now. However, I think you can become free."  _

_ "What about my parents?"  _

_ "You have to let them go. Just this once."  _

_ I nodded, my body crumbles, showing defeat. All that goes through my mind is fear. What will Mother think? What will Father think? What will the kids at school think? What will Auntie think?  Silence fills the room while I think of something to change the topic with._

_ "Auntie, I'm thinking of joining a club when I reach high school."  _

_ When I fearfully looked up to see her reaction, her face was full of curiosity and joy. My eyes widen in surprise. _

_ "Ooo! What kind of club?"  _

_ My face heats by her sudden interest. "I don't know yet. Maybe somewhere that I can speak my opinion?"  _

_ "That's great!" Auntie takes both of my hands and cups them into her own. "Speaking your own opinion is great, I speak with experience."  We laugh at her joke, but then my tone deeply spoils. _

_ "But isn't that rebelling? Doing something without your parent's permission? I'm sure if I tell them they will say no..." _

_ "Absolutely!"  _

_ I cringed, knowing what will come next, but nothing came. No sharp tongues or bitter words. No crushing my dreams. Instead, it came in a soothing voice. "However, your in a stage in your life where you can make some decisions for your own self.  If you want to join a club, join it! If you want to live your life, live it! If you want to rebel, rebel! It's only in human nature and no matter what, we are all human." _

_ "But-"  _

"No buts. It's _okay to live in the moment, Mons. It's just apart of living as a human being. A real human being. There's no changing to that no matter how much training your parents give to you._ _Rebel. Be free."_

_I smiled at her words. Tears form around my eyes, and I mentally curse myself for crying, but I smile._

_"I will! I promise!"_

_ And with that Auntie and her house disappeared.  _

* * *

 

I awoke to the sound of shuffling and a gentle hand on my forehead. My eyes stay shut, unsure whether to open them.

"Sayori, have you ever learned about personal space," a voice says, probably Natsuki, clearly in another room. 

"But I want to know if she's sick. She slept for hours now," Sayori pouts. 

I hear Natsuki sigh. "Just let her be, you might wake her." 

"Don't bother, I already am," I say, opening my eyes. Sayori was sitting on my lap, checking my temperature with her palm. She immediately turns bright red. Natsuki was wandering in the kitchen, her bag on her shoulder. 

"I'm sorry for waking you," Sayori says, her face flushed with embarrassment. I chuckle.

"It's okay. It was about time anyway." I pull Sayori in a hug and kissed her forehead. Her mood brightens, giggling omitting from the flustered girl.

After sitting up I saw that Yuri wasn't sleeping in the kitchen anymore. I asked the other girls where she was. 

"Oh, she went upstairs after a few hours," Natsuki says, putting her bag on the kitchen chair. "Sayori told me she looked really exhausted though. I wonder what's up with you guys." Sayori nods in agreement. 

"I swear, we're fine. We probably just caught something." 

"And by caught something, you're pretty much dead. You've slept for five hours now." 

I anxiously looked at the clock and, pretty much, it was 8:38. I blushed from sleeping too long. 

"Wh-What! You guys watched me sleep?!" 

"Sayori. Timed. Besides, I just got here." 

Sayori chuckles nervously, her face bright red again. "Natsukiiiii! You weren't supposed to tell!"

Natsuki and I laugh at her embarrassment. After a while, Sayori joins in and bright laughter fills the house. 

"Pwah," I gasped, wiping a stray tear. "My cheeks are burning!" 

 "I see you guys are having a lot of fun," a voice softly says. I looked up the stairs to see Yuri standing there, this time in a fluffy purple robe. Her hair was now in one long braid flowing silently near her legs. Her eyes weren't as red and puffy anymore, but still ached with the same sadness and will be for a very long time. Despite her mood, her lips show a small knowing smile.

"Y-Yuri! H-Hi," I hear Natsuki stutter from the other room. I roll my eyes playfully. Yuri laughs at this, covering her hand over her fragile lips. 

"Hey Yuri, are you feeling better," Sayori asks sitting beside me. Though she tries to hide it, worry creeps up her face. 

"Much better!" Yuri walks down the rest of the stairway, empty mug in hand. 

"Ah, that's great!

"Yeah, I'm happy," I chirped. While Yuri grew embarrassed by the compliments, we glared a flustered Natsuki. After a while, she gave in. 

"I'm happy too, you know," she says embarrassed. She averts her eyes to the side while we laugh. 

* * *

 

"Who's turn is it tonight," I asked, looking at the three girls. It was an hour after Yuri came downstairs and Natsuki decided to have another movie night. Sayori was eager for the idea while Yuri and I decided for it since it will be unlikely for any of us to go to school tomorrow. So there we were, crowed on the living room couch, figuring out who turn it was. 

"I guess it's mine," Yuri says hesitantly. We shivered. Yuri's movie selection is a bit on the horror side, and by bit I mean pick the scariest movie in Japan and Yuri will think it's tame. It's like nothing can scare her, nothing unless the Portrait of Markov. Even with that most of the time, she's carefully reading it, acting like nothing is happening.

Yuri catches our reactions. "Hey, that one wasn't even that gory!" 

"Yes, it was! I couldn't sleep for a week after that," Natsuki huffs. Yuri sighs, still not seeing what was wrong with the last movie she brought. 

"Well, I decided to tone down the horror, again, with this one. I guess we might all like this one," I hand Yuri the remote and she pulls up a page for an anime named Tokyo Magnitude 8.0. 

"An anime," Sayori questions, bouncing beside me. Yuri nods, confirming.

"It's a slice of life anime where two siblings live against a really devastating earthquake in Tokyo. It isn't really a horror but a thriller. I found out that I really like thrillers in anime due to a certain someone."

Natsuki sputters. "I share my anime with her because I'm generous. Nothing else!"

"Yeah right," Sayori teased, making Natsuki's blush more vibrant. I chuckle at the look.

"Anyways Yuri, this is an anime. We can't watch all of it in one night."

"Who says we can't," I say, smirking. Natsuki turns to me, surprised. Usually, I would bother them about getting enough sleep. 

"Monika are you out of your mind? Either that or I am probably missing something." She looks around the room, expecting something to happen.

"We are probably not going. Something tells me that you'll need it."

Sayori and Natsuki share a look of confusion then look at the ever-so-silent Yuri, who averts her eyes. 

"Let's just watch the anime," Yuri says, clearly tense. A pain of regret from building up the conversation shots through me. I never thought how Yuri will feel. Was I too caught up in the conversation? Was I just having fun? 

_Keep yourself in check Monika. Nobody could see what you truly feel. Nobody could see what you truly have to say. That will only break the illusion._

_Do you understand, my little girl?_

I gritted my teeth, hissing slightly. There is no time to think about that. My friends have taught me better ways to express myself. I shouldn't dwell on memories. I shouldn't be having these thoughts. We are beginning an anime for god-sake!   
Focus, Monika. Please.

I was surprised when I suddenly heard the anime opening song resonating the room. Sayori was bouncing to it next to me, her grin infectious. Natsuki was on the other side eyeing the anime with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. Yuri was next to her watching the show silently. A small smile appears on her face and I think I know exactly what it says. 

I hope times like these last forever. 

I can't help but agree. 

_It's okay to live in the moment, Mons. It's just apart of living as a human being. A real human being. There's no changing to that no matter how much training your parents give to you._

_Rebel. Be free._

I can't seem to stop the memories as they passed through my head, each a dear fragment in my heart. Happy or sad, they hold importance. They hold teaching. I could never forget. 

Suddenly, being in this living room with my best friends and loving girlfriend, I remembered the reason I made a literature club in the first place. The major reason I haven't told anyone to this day. To have real friends. To have a real life or at least two hours of it. To be free of judgment constantly. To have an outlet to escape. I've never been so _wrong!_

The literature club gave me much more than an escape, but an everlasting home. 

 

_Exhale the chains._

_Inhale the freedom._

_You're **free.**_

 

Exhale the chains.

Inhale the freedom. 

I'm  **free**.

 


	5. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tuesday, September 29, 2017  
> Dreams are interpretations of something in life. Something in a dream can come true or a dream can hold a secret meaning or feeling. 
> 
> Monika doesn't want her dream to come true or have some stupid secret meaning. She wants it to stay in the darkness it came from and never come back. Hell, throw it in a ditch for all she cares!
> 
> It was her friends dying, and that she'll never forgive it for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This work is now on Fanfiction.net! https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12964910/1/Flower-Thief

I lay in my bed, looking up at the ceiling. It was roughly 1 am. The tv had shut off, all the lights were off, everyone went to bed. The faint echoing of the ending of the anime rings in my ears constantly. It wasn't an unpleasant sound as I found the song beautiful. I whisper the lyrics into thin air while the tune buzzes in my head. 

 _"Being scared of an unseen tomorrow._  
_Being tired of who we are."_

I'm surprisingly not tired despite it being 1 am and all I wanted to do all day was sleep. I guess I just wanted to get out of that school so badly I faked being sick. I couldn't face people laughing and smiling. I can't stand people not knowing.

 _"Let's stop doing that already._  
_Tell yourself it will all be ok."_

However, I still chose to put my friends in the dark. A valid excuse? I think not. I made up my mind that I was going to tell them tomorrow. Or today. It doesn't matter, I'm telling them tomorrow. I smile at the bare ceiling, showing it teeth full of pride. 

I'm doing it.

 _"Things like that will always be close by._  
_I know I had lost sight of it."_

My smile faded away. I don't blame myself, I never been one with pure confidence. At school, most of my confidence has been forced and the things I do was things I didn't necessarily want to do. My friends had helped me with that and even, before all this ever happened, my aunt.

_"It's a little scary here, but we'll get through it, surely."_

I start to wonder what will my aunt think of me now. I left being afraid. Curious but frightened and unable to speak my own mind. Now, I still am that same person, somewhat, but I can gladly say that I have grown. She'll be proud of me.

She will also have a kick out of the stories I now have.

 _"Melody, it's heard by all the people who come and go._  
_Melody, it's in you._  
_Ah, melody, it's in absolutely everyone."_

I wonder what will my aunt react to my friends. I'm sure she will hit it off with Sayori, playing childish pranks on Yuri and Natsuki. She would be curious Yuri and her books, often going off in deep conversations. She'll have fun baking with Natsuki, the creative duo pulling off marvelous recipes. 

I hope she meets them soon. 

  
_"Melody message."_

"Melody message."

 I look up to see Sayori, leaning against the doorway in her pajamas. She had a more relaxed, loving smile on her face than earlier.

"Sorry, did I wake you," I asked, sitting up. Sayori shakes her head. 

"I see Yuri's anime had an impact on you," she says, sitting on the side of the bed. 

"Yeah, I couldn't get Melody out of my head." I laid my head down on her lap. She giggles.

"Ah, me too! I never knew how eleven episodes can impact me that much!" 

 She takes a look at the dimly lit room. It was a small thing, with light green walls and white furniture. The bed was just a regular mattress with a white painted bed frame. I hardly customize my room, I had no reason too. 

"Do you mind me sleeping in your room tonight," she asks, suddenly turning shy. I raised an eyebrow. 

"Your room of yours getting too cluttered even for you, I see." She lightly punches my shoulder. 

"Monika, you meanie. My room has been slowly getting better!" 

"Since when?" 

She thinks about this for a moment and laughs awkwardly, not giving me an answer. 

"It's not that," she says after her silent laughing fit. "My room just feels more lonely than usual." 

"To be honest I kinda felt that too." 

"Twining!" Sayori and I share a light laugh. 

After a few moments of talking, Sayori and I laid down properly, facing each other. Sayori's smile lessens and her eyes drooped, but still reflects a positive beam. I smile my own drowsy smile. 

"You're so beautiful," she whispers. "I hope you know that." 

I felt a blush creep up my face, cursing me with warmth. "What is this? Are you okay?" 

"I'm fine! I'm fine! I just realized that I'm looking at the most beautiful thing in the world. I'm so lucky!" 

She takes my vacant hand sitting on the space between us and squeezes it. I felt my face heat up from a desirable fireplace warmth to the scorching heat of a wildfire. 

"I love you."

"I love you too." 

And that was it. Sayori falls asleep holding my hand while I am left to think about how I got wooed by a drowsy Sayori in less than .5 seconds. I'm not complaining but was wondering, _how_. The last record was .7.

I need to up my flirting game. 

Seeing a flustered Sayori was one of the best things I could ever see on a thought provoking day like yesterday.

With these thoughts, I smile and close my eyes, dreaming of one to wake to.

* * *

 

_"I'm really glad that you guys visited today, it's one of the nicest days," I say, smiling out to the Florida sky. My friends were visiting me and my aunt all the way from California. I really appreciate them doing this, it's a four-hour flight one way!_

_"You can say that again! It was horrible in California, too hot for even me to bear,"  Natsuki complains. I laughed, a bit thankful for being in Florida, where the heat has given us it's grace._

_"It wasn't that bad," Sayori pouts. "We have an air conditioner."_

_"It was when it the power had gone out. Even you can't reject that," Yuri says calmly._

_"The power went out?!"_

_"That's a story for another time! Ehehe..."  Sayori puts her arms around me to ensure that everything is alright at home, however, that nervous grin I grew so fond of doesn't help her. I hope they haven't forgotten to pay the monthly bill._

_Please haven't forgotten to pay that monthly bill._

_I felt droplets of sweat form from my forehead. "Sayori..."_

_"Look! The sun is setting!"_

_I turned and sure enough, the sky was full of light and dark blues, vibrant oranges, and a skim of purple. I was moved by it, it was a long time since I saw one from Florida._ _Natsuki and Yuri arrive by my sides, also moved._

_"It's beautiful, isn't it."_

_"Damn Monika, I never knew you have sunsets this luxurious."_

_"I agree. All of the buildings crowded the one back home."_

_It was silent for a while when we all watch the sun hide in the night. Well, until something grabbed my hand._

_"Let's go see it closer," Sayori smiles and runs towards the shore dragging me along._

_"Hey! Wait up," Natsuki shouts, running with us._ _Yuri silently curses herself from wearing sandals._

_After running towards the shore, Sayori sits on the beach, her feet touching the cold water. She giggles at the sensation. I sit with her, holding my legs with my arms. Natsuki and Yuri soon join us after panting from trying to keep up. We laugh together._

_I watched the sunset one more time, now dissolved in mostly dark blue and purple and began to think we should go back. My aunt should be home from her shopping trip by now._

_"Is it time to get going," I ask, brushing sand off my dress. Sayori whines._

_Yuri stands next, a smile on her face. "Yeah, it's getting dark and rather quickly."_

_Sayori whines some more before slowly getting up. Natsuki looks at the water in thought before joining her._

_We were walking back home, chatting up as usual. Natsuki insulted Sayori for the hundred time and Sayori was currently pouting. Yuri was chuckling at this whole thing, watching it from behind. I was about to ask what happened but a sound caught me off guard._

_The **deafening** sound came closer. _

_The **deafening** sound shot Yuri in her chest and exploded in **ç̸̡̞̼͎͉̜̹̥̺̘̩̲̯͌ơ̷̩̤͇͖̼͔̝̫̰͔̝̱̮͎̳͔͔̾̃̑́̏́͂͆̊͑ļ̸̨̧̯͔̗̯̻͙͕̠̳̪͆͊͊̿̈́̿̊͒̂̄̕̚̕o̷̩̘͙̙͔͕̣̩͒̾̌̈́͛͐̚̕͜͜r̸̡̧͙͚̲̣͓͔̱̹͆̑̈́͊͜s̷͈̩̭̯̣̿̇̽͊̓̽͗͒͜͠͠͠͝**_

_Oh, the **blinding** **ç̸̡̞̼͎͉̜̹̥̺̘̩̲̯͌ơ̷̩̤͇͖̼͔̝̫̰͔̝̱̮͎̳͔͔̾̃̑́̏́͂͆̊͑ļ̸̨̧̯͔̗̯̻͙͕̠̳̪͆͊͊̿̈́̿̊͒̂̄̕̚̕o̷̩̘͙̙͔͕̣̩͒̾̌̈́͛͐̚̕͜͜r̸̡̧͙͚̲̣͓͔̱̹͆̑̈́͊͜s̷͈̩̭̯̣̿̇̽͊̓̽͗͒͜͠͠͠͝**_

_"YURI!"_

_Yuri drops to the ground silently, hardly having any time to react. The **ç̸̡̞̼͎͉̜̹̥̺̘̩̲̯͌ơ̷̩̤͇͖̼͔̝̫̰͔̝̱̮͎̳͔͔̾̃̑́̏́͂͆̊͑ļ̸̨̧̯͔̗̯̻͙͕̠̳̪͆͊͊̿̈́̿̊͒̂̄̕̚̕o̷̩̘͙̙͔͕̣̩͒̾̌̈́͛͐̚̕͜͜r̸̡̧͙͚̲̣͓͔̱̹͆̑̈́͊͜s̷͈̩̭̯̣̿̇̽͊̓̽͗͒͜͠͠͠͝** were bleeding out of her body in a rush. There was no telling that she was going to live. There was no sense of telling._

_She wasn't._

_Hardly a second after, **ç̸̡̞̼͎͉̜̹̥̺̘̩̲̯͌ơ̷̩̤͇͖̼͔̝̫̰͔̝̱̮͎̳͔͔̾̃̑́̏́͂͆̊͑ļ̸̨̧̯͔̗̯̻͙͕̠̳̪͆͊͊̿̈́̿̊͒̂̄̕̚̕o̷̩̘͙̙͔͕̣̩͒̾̌̈́͛͐̚̕͜͜r̸̡̧͙͚̲̣͓͔̱̹͆̑̈́͊͜s̷͈̩̭̯̣̿̇̽͊̓̽͗͒͜͠͠͠͝** exploded from Natsuki, ringing out of her skull. _

_"NATSUKI!"_

_Natsuki topples to the ground, her eyes fluttering._

_I look at Sayori worrying after looking at our ~~fallen~~ friends. She was in a state of shock herself, her eyes wide looking at the bleeding  **ç̸̡̞̼͎͉̜̹̥̺̘̩̲̯͌ơ̷̩̤͇͖̼͔̝̫̰͔̝̱̮͎̳͔͔̾̃̑́̏́͂͆̊͑ļ̸̨̧̯͔̗̯̻͙͕̠̳̪͆͊͊̿̈́̿̊͒̂̄̕̚̕o̷̩̘͙̙͔͕̣̩͒̾̌̈́͛͐̚̕͜͜r̸̡̧͙͚̲̣͓͔̱̹͆̑̈́͊͜s̷͈̩̭̯̣̿̇̽͊̓̽͗͒͜͠͠͠͝** from Yuri and Natsuki. _

_And then the light in her eyes disappeared completely._

_Sayori's eyes widen as the **b̸̨͈͍̭̖̦̠͚̬̓̂͌͘͘͜͜͝ṳ̵̢͇̣̹̹͔̩͈̦̏̎̿͂̒̊̏͑̿͝ͅl̵̡̛̫̻̟̪̺̻̞̩̻̎͜͝l̶̡͙̍̊͌̃̑͊̚͝͠ḙ̷̭̘̞̬̜̠̀̒̓̉̆̑͜ͅt̸̢̡̨̠̜͈̪͙̖̝̱̊̄̒͝ ̶̬͙̇̓̈́̃̀͋͝ͅp̶̧̟̬̪̦̮͓̥̤̫̹̆̃̽̃̉ļ̴͉͙͈̩̭͈͖̍̔̒̈̏̾u̸̢͕̼̥͍̖̭͙̮̯̐̋̾̓͠ͅn̴̼̩̘͖̞̺͈͓̖̽̉͂̊̏͒̕̚̚ͅg̸̳͈̞̀̒͊̔e̴̡̘̭̜͌̓̏̓d̵̢͈̼̯̀͝ ̶̳̝͑͐̓̔̉͝͠t̶̼̙̘̗̯͚̔͘͜h̴̨̧̧̹̗͕̱̱͚̍͂̊͌͌͛͂̉̍̆͊ṟ̴̛͖̺͉̼̾͊͆͐͌͊̈̚̚͝o̷̩̺͋̾͒̄́̿͌̓͛̈́̿͒͠ṳ̵̲̮͒̀̅͒̍̐͛͌͝g̸͍͊̒̍͌̒̿͋͗̄̍̔͐h̸̥͓̹͚̟̜͛ ̵̻̲̟̞̳̲̳̝̙̦̯͚̤͛͊̿́̅͊̈h̸̨̡̺̼̩̻̓͝ͅḛ̸̳̥̺͖͍̲͙̓̐͌̕͜ͅr̵̢̳̙̣̞̼̬̝̳̉͗̓̓͌̓̅̕ ̷̟̯̝̐̂́̍̕̕͜f̵̢̫͇̾͆͆̃̿̆̑r̶̗̦̿̆̏̓̓̐̾̚ȃ̶̧̟̲̝̯͖͖̬̬̦̙g̴͍̺̫̗̯͔͖͔̞̖͊͑̈̔͜ì̵̡̧̨̧̟͙͎̬̳̠̞̟̿̅͊͑̃͝ͅl̵̢̥̪͋̇́͊́̔e̴̼̺̼͉͛̾̊̃̄̎͋̄͐͘͝ ̵̢̹̣̱̠̠͙̠̘͕͚̝̗̐ḩ̸͓̬̖̆̏̑̄̿̚͘e̴̢̬̤̘̖̩̭̯̝̋̀͛͆̏̎̇͌ả̵͙̘͈͙̖̍͛̀̈́͌̏̄͂̕ŗ̴̛͓̠̥̟͕̗̍̎̽̍t̵̨̛͙̤̤̮̎̇̆̆.C̴̛̙̮̋̏̈́̉͒͛͐̔͘̚͝o̷̧͇͔͇͍̳͔̫̤̭̾́̒̈́͑̔̍̓͗̋͝ͅͅͅl̴̡̹̭̣̩̭̻͚̜̗̤̗̱͒̅̐̃̈́̾͆̆̑͝ơ̸̳̪̼̻̜͉̤̞̞̖͇̇̅̄̂̕͠͝ṛ̵̺̥̬̋͆̃̊ş̷̦̣̖̪̤̠̱̦̝͂͗̈́͋͋̊̓̈́͑̃** plunged though the air. Sayori looked at me in quick despration, her eyes were full of worry and fear and pain. But then they relaxed._

_And then she smiles._

_And then she falls._

_**A̸̡̨̛̤̺̯̪̞͉͎̞͇̲͇͙̮̰̞̭̮̯̰̲̱̜͈̩̹͎̩̠̤͚̣̗̰͓̰̱̜͉͍͙͎̗̬͓̬͚̫̮̳̲͖̱̙̜̱̝̪͚̽̏͂̃̃̿̆̏̊̔͑̍̄̀̒̏͒͛̿̾̓̾̚͜͜͝͝ͅͅͅn̴̡̧̡̧̨̹̰̺͔̞̹̥͓͔̫̘͔͙͉͈̻͙̣̘̠̙̮͇̫̻̬͉͍͚̖͓̦̞̲̳̰̞̘̜̹̱͉̻̯͕̘͚̩̬̺̮̪͐̇͋͗͋̀̎̚͘͜͝ͅͅd̶̛̛̻̯̣̫͎̭̘͔̙̟̱̼̼̠͔̘̦̥̻̼̝̯̪̖͓̜͈̣̝̭͕̠̲͙̠͚̩̪͇̺̰̂̓̋̊̈́̾̓͋́̒͘͝ͅ ̶̢̢̢͍̘̻̪̤̘͎̘̭͔̭̪̬̘͙̰̺̪̼̐̉́̕͜͜͜͜͠ͅt̵̨̢̡̡̛̛͈̞̺͚͖̪͇͍̮͖̯͇͇̟̭͎̥̹̹̞͈̹̫̦̆̑̀̓͋̂̽͋̿͑́͘͜͠͝͠͝͝ͅͅh̴̨̡̢̧̨̛̛͈͉̫̣̟̙̗̗̩̻̞̫̞̲͔̙͍̬͚̲̥͙͈̝̥̤̰͈̟̲̟̝̬̎̊̉̿́̋͌̉̋̈́̇̍̒̔͌͗̽͒͊̾̏̔͒̏͑̚͘͠͝ë̴̩̟̘͎̝̯̗͇͉͔͉́͑̏͌̈́̂̈́̓̉͝n̵̨̢̢̛͙̬̙̯̖͎̺̻̘̞͎͔̩̫͖̻̳̗͚͚̖̗̻̺͚͇̫̥̳̱̟̦͖̣̝̯͚̲̰̮̘̘͊̏̑̔̀̽̈́͆́͋́͒͛͑͐̚͘̚̚͜͠͠ͅ ̵̨̨̨̡̛̛̛̟͕͎̙͉̼̤͈̹͉̤̫̪̖̤̘̥͈̣̯̫̝͕̫͍͔̖̭̽̈͊̍̒͑͆̋̒̑̈́̋̏̆͗̂͋͌̉́͊͌̐͗͘͘͘̚̚͝s̴̡̧̨͈̘͓̹̳̲͈͔̣̤͉̤̳̝̭͎̹͔̯̼͈̰̍̉͛͒̃́̂͆̒̄͘͘̕̚͜͜ḥ̸̨̧̧̛̥̱͎̝͉̫̲͖̘̥͇̪̬̟̟͉̹͇͈͔̝͍̪̜̰̗̙̬͙̰̻̪͐̓͐̏̓̏̊̓̈́̏͌́͒͂̈́͆̈͆͛̌̂̚̕̚͜͝͝ͅȩ̷̡̧̪̤̭̭̙̩͎̩̙̻̗͔̺̳̺̞͕̃̈̔̐͊͐̓͂̔͑̽̋̅̄͛̀̓̇̔ ̴̨̧̧̡̢̺̮̥̜̞̘͇̹̠̩̹͚͇͙̙̺̝̦̙̠̾̓͂̂̈́̐̎́́͐͊̉̉͋̉̋͐́̃͆̋͊̎͗̐̒͛͗̑̍͘͘̕͘͝ͅd̷̡̛̛̛̛̬̯̻̻̦̙̦̤͈̗͙̠͓̠͔͎̥̩͔̓̏̉̒̌̊̄̆͊̅͆̀̔͑̓̒̌̐̍̽̉͂̇͆̑͑̋̄̒́͗̒͆͐̅͌̉̌̑͋̉̓̇͑̔͛̾̋̿̋͂̚̕͝͝͝͠͝i̴̧̡̢̨̢̛̙͓̫̮̤͍̳͉̤͚̼̜̟̪̪̙̝͈̗̰̱̮̱̰͙̳̞̩̯̩̝̹̼̗͈̞͕̠͆͂͗̍̀̈́̒̀̄̆̂̈́͌̀̒̕̕͜͠͝ę̶̢̡̨̡̡̢̛̼̞̠̮̪̣̫̘̯̥̟̠͉̗̗̳͈̣͈̹̬̭̭̲͕̪̤̱̪̝͎̳̫̦̳͔̼̩̞̹̠̮̪̳͇̙̘͎̯̤̺̯̲̈̏͋̓͐̉̇̌̍͋̀̋͂̽͌͛̆̓̒̊̾̊̉͘̕̚͘͘̚͜͜͠͝͠ͅͅs̴̨̢̛̛͚̯̲̘̜̹͍͇̻̹̖̠̙̬̠͍̜̺͚̩̙̮͚̮̯̲͍̘͚͎̻̯̗̠̮̪̭̰͔̩̠͎̳͊̊͒̈́̆̊̐̈́͛̇͑̓̉̾̑̑͐̈́̌̎̊́̊͛̒̌͂͆̽̌̈́̽̒͂̐̈̑͋͆̽͑͂̓̑͗̋̂͛͋̅͒̕̕͘͜͜͝͠͝ͅ** _

_The sunset dissapered, in it's place **t̵̨̡̖̩͕̪̖͚͙̯̗̒̓̅̽͌̆͆̐͘͝h̵̛̭̟͒̂͗̌ẹ̵̗̼̰̱̣̽̐̔̂̉̿̊̆̿͆̚ ̴̧͆͗̃b̶̢̥̮͖̘̙̦͓̘͍̊͊͂̈́̾̔͝͝ͅl̴̡̠̬̰͇̹̙̿̓̊̎̄͗e̴̘̲̣͂͋͋ę̷͕̤͍̪̅ḋ̶͎͔͚̉̄į̶̭̤̭͓̺̲͍͔̭̪͋̇̿͐͗̀n̵͎̗̗̳̼͙͙̤̦̼͙͐̿̆̏͐̎̋g̴͔̙̬̓͗̈́̑͑̆́͋ ̷̞̥̺͕̲̓̂̓͐͛̒̒̇̓̄̚c̵̨̨̮̗̥̟̮̻̙̐͑̔ͅȫ̸̹̪̙̦͎̦̙̞͇̯̤̏̾̓̈̚̕l̴̨͇͖̽̋͆͊̿̒̈̿͠ŏ̴̼̅̎̈̽̌̊͘r̷̼̤̻̞̻̖͂̾́͋͆͋͠ͅͅs̷͇̒̊̇̐̈́̊̇̇̓͠** of my friends. I dropped on my knees, unable to do anything. Scared to do anything. _

_The shooting stops._

_**Why did it stop!?** _

_**Why didn't they shoot me, however they are!?** _

_**Why didn't I join my friends?!** _

 

_I sobbed into my knees, alone. Hopeless, defeated, and utterly alone. My mind is swimming with confusion. Why? Why? Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?_

_The sky screams at me, yelling my name, crying in the wind._

_"Monika!"_

_I try to hold in my whimpers and block out the sound, but it keeps calling. And calling. And calling. And calling. And calling. And calling. And calling. And ca-_

_"Monika!"_

_Oh please, shut up! I just want to mourn my friends in peace._

_"Monika!"_

_Just put me out of my misery! Just let me see my friends again! Just get it over with!_

_And then the world darkens._

_And then the world disappears._

* * *

It reappears with a scared Sayori, tears in her eyes.

"Sayori!" I wrapped my arms around her, crying into her shoulder. She holds me tightly, whispering comforting words in my ear. As I cry harder she hugs tighter and soon she was gripping so hard that I could hardly breathe, but I didn't care!

It was _her_ arms. 

Thank god it's just a dream.

After calming down, she forcefully unwraps her arms from my body. It was bittersweet, but I get to see her face again, her _shining_ face again!

"Oh god! I thought you were a goner!" 

"...goner?" Sayori asks, letting her curiosity peak through. 

I nod furiously. "You see, we were in Florida and was watching the sunset. It was nice for a while before somebody shot Yuri and then Natsuki and then... you." Sayori breathes hitches and she mutters something inaudible, anger burning in her eyes for a slight moment. I continue, ignoring the action. "It was... very scary. I wanted to... die so I can hopefully see you again. Is it a bad thing?" 

Sayori sighs. "You were mumbling things in your sleep...like wanting to die. I was scared for a moment but now knowing the full context of things...I...I could say that everyone in this house would want the same thing if that ever happened. However, that's a rare situation. Despite...what happened... we will never leave you and we will try our best to not die on you. We are stuck with you forever, Moni!" 

I laugh lightly, shedding more tears. "I'm glad!"

She kisses my tears away, our faces were full of smiles once again.

It wasn't long before we were both washed over with a light silence, trying to figure out what just happened. I was long lost in thought when Sayori whispers something.

"I want to know the truth." 

I turned towards her. Her smile was gone, replacing it eyes of longing. I knew this was going to happen, eventually. I looked at the floor in guilt while Sayori continues. "Something's wrong, Monika. I know that you're not feeling your best and Yuri isn't sick. We know Monika, we both know." 

I sigh, still looking away from her gaze. "I'm sorry. I thought...the truth might worry you." 

"What do you think you're doing to me now. Seeing my girlfriend in pain like this worries me. Anything you tell me can't amount to the worry I felt for you!"

I look up to Sayori in shock. Her eyes were glistening with new-found confidence and love. 

"Sayori..."

"So, please tell me. You don't even have to tell me the whole truth even, just don't hide your feelings."

"I- I tell you later. Now just feels too.." My words drifted. I don't know how to describe this. Happy? Intense? Complicated? 

Sayori beams. "I knew you'll come through!" She traps me in a comfy loving embrace, giggling lightly. A smile shows up on my face too, despite whats going to go down later. 

"Moni," Sayori asks later, the sleepiness on her face gone.

"Hmm?" 

"What now?" 

I thought about it for a second, before checking the clock. 5:36. Perfect.

"What about a run?"

"Oh?" 

 

 

_Tu tu tu tu~ melody..._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> M/elody English lyrics source: https://musicbox-trans.livejournal.com/936.html
> 
> M/elody: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_AcIyQhmR8


	6. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tuesday, September 29, 2017  
> Time ticks by. Second by second.  
> For Monika, the seconds passing means the amount the time she has left.  
> And when the time comes, she'll tell them.
> 
> She'll not feel the best, but she'll tell them.  
> She'll not want to do it, but she'll tell them.  
> She'll be feeding in guilt, but she'll tell them. 
> 
> All because of this thing called love.

 To the say the least, I didn't expect for Sayori to get the hang of running that easily. I usually run more than the average person due to my experience and faster too. Yuri had gotten worn out and she works out at least once a week. I expected Sayori to be worn out too, at least a little more than Yuri. 

I didn't expect to be carrying Sayori in my arms.

"How do you do that and not feel like your legs are like jelly?" 

"It wasn't that intense. You should see what a  _normal_ session is like."  Sayori gulps nervously. 

"You do... more?" 

"Faster, yes. However, I tend to run the same mile every day."

"Monika, how?!" We laugh as I open the door. Just to see two expecting faces. 

Natsuki smilies smugly, raising an eyebrow. She sits on the couch, sitting an arm on the armrest. Yuri was sitting next to her, her face filled with worry and anger. Anything but Natsuki's.

"Where were you guys! Wait oh! Fucking in the park again! I got you," Natsuki winks. Sayori's and my faces turn beet red.

"Natsukiiii!" 

"We were running. Sayori's legs gave out and I had to carry her- WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'AGAIN'!?" 

Natsuki and Sayori laugh in my flustered state. I tried to keep my heart rate under control. 

Yuri hasn't said anything yet.

Normally she groans, blushes, or tell Natsuki her to cut out the dirty jokes this early in the morning. However, she sits still, her dark purple hair covering her face, brimming with her own emotions. Natsuki notices this and turns. 

"Yuri, you doing okay?" 

Yuri doesn't respond, her brow furrowing. Natsuki begins to say something before she gets cuts short by Yuri's hard gaze. Her gaze stares at Natsuki before gradually moving up to Sayori and me. 

"Monika..." 

"I'm sorry! I...forgotten." Sayori shoots me a confused look.

"You forgot?!" Yuri gaze pierces my eyes, making mine avert away. "You have forgotten how dangerous it could be now if we don't stay together?! You might have gotten yourselves killed!" 

Sayori and Natsuki stared at Yuri and me in shock, not knowing the full context. I took a while gathering my thoughts before responding back.

"It isn't that serious Yuri! He isn't anywhere near here! For all I know he's on the other side of the world!" 

"Listen to yourself! You really think that we are safe here. You saw the news broadcast. You saw what he did. It isn't long until he targets us." 

"Yuri..." 

"Don't 'Yuri' me! Don't you care what happens to yourself?! If you get taken or killed?!" Yuri was standing now, her hand on her chest passionately. Natsuki was sitting by her side, muttering her name to back down.

I avert my eyes, muttering a word that was inaudible for even Sayori to hear. Yuri's eyes finally soften and a gasp lets out from her fragile lips.

"Monika, don't you care?" 

The air stills and silences as it waits for my reply. I bit my tongue. It's not getting one.

"Yuri, we need to talk. About this. About... them," I say after the brief but intense silence. Yuri's eyes widen as she registers the others in the room.

"I- Fine." 

I close the door that was silently blowing wind inside, creating a draft. Sayori, still in my arms, gives me a look of concern but I laughed it off. 

"I'm still keeping my promise," I whispered. "Just wait for me." Sayori nods, trust in her eyes. 

I dropped off Sayori on the couch Natsuki was sitting on before going to my room with Yuri, closing the door.

 "Monika what-" 

"Yuri, please not now." Yuri's eyes grow concerned, but nods understanding and the topic was changed. "They want to know." 

"I know. Natsuki told me. I only told her parts and bits because I thought to tell her when you're ready-" 

"Same for Sayori. What are we going to do?" 

"...Listen, Monika, we can't keep this a secret for much longer..."

I hissed under my breath. Is it really time? I... I wasn't ready.

"I can't Yuri, I'm sorry-"

"What are you scared of?" 

I blinked. "What?" 

"What are you scared of, Monika. They are your friends and they won't get mad at you for telling them stuff like this. Just... a little shocked." 

"But... this nagging fear." I grabbed my running tee pulling on the fabric. "It claws up inside me, it makes me not want to do this."

"That's the anxiety. It will go away with time. It always did." 

Yuri smiles, her eyes gentle. Her cheeks were slightly buzzed by the embarrassment of what she said, but she ignored it. I could ignore my fear too, even if it's just for a while. 

"Okay. Okay, I'm doing this... I'm doing this!" 

Yuri's smile grew wider as her eyes shone once again.

"Then, let's do this," Yuri says determined, holding out her hand. 

I look at her hand and her eyes again. They look calmer now, purple veils filled with caring and warmth. I teared up from her caring nature.

"Moni-" 

I rushed in to hug her, crying on her shoulder. The taller girl gasps in surprise but accepts the embrace.

"I'm sorry Yuri. I shouldn't go without your permission and I shouldn't lash out at you for that! I knew you were just caring for me especially of what happened just yesterday. I shouldn't have been so careless, people got  _killed!_  Your family members got hurt! I guess the danger of this situation is just-" I get cut off by the warmth of Yuri's arms pulling me in tighter. The love made me sob harder. 

"It's okay Monika, I don't blame you. I was overreacting then too but I was so  _worried._ " Yuri's last words choked out into the air as she pulled me even tighter. "Please, just tell me where you're going next time."

"I will! I will!"

Hopeless, I felt my knees gave out as I sank to the ground. Yuri's hug maintained, taking the purple hair girl with me, not that she minded. The taller girl stayed silent as I sobbed into her purple robe, comforting me.

As we parted I saw that Yuri's eyes had tears in them too, one escaping as she tried to wipe them. However, the feeling inside them was the same as earlier.

Caring, loving dark purple veils that always seemed to shine when they landed on me. 

I guess mine tends to shine when they are on her, too. 

* * *

 We walked out of my room in silence, occasionally giving glances of warning and reassurance. I readied myself for what to come. The guilt in my stomach building up. 

This is not going to be sweet.

Soon as I got downstairs, I saw Sayori and Natsuki again. Sayori was still at her place on the couch, an ice pack on both of her legs. She pouted, pointing at the ice packs. Natsuki was beside her, her brow knitted close as she talked.

As soon as they saw us, I knew they were going to say something about Yuri's light tear stains and my very obvious red eyes but I cut them off first. "I- um- we... need to tell you guys something." They nodded. 

It was beginning.

Yuri and I sat on the couch with Natsuki and Sayori. They tense, knowing its something serious. I bit my tongue, turning away. A pain of guilt was sent soaring through me when Yuri had to speak for me. 

"Well... it all started yesterday morning. Monika was out for her morning run and you guys were still sleeping. Knowing I won't disturb anyone, I turned the tv on." Her eyes cast downwards as she plays with her hair, unable to face the others anymore. "It landed on a random news station, on a breaking news segment.." She stops to breathe, tears threaten to stream down her face again. "It... It was about _him_..." She puts her hands on her face, unable to talk anymore. I braced myself.

"He...um... killed Yuri's father and pained Yuri's mother very bad," I say cautiously. The girl beside me posture slackens more, causing me to place a reassuring hand on her shoulder. I gripped my own shirt with my free hand, wanting to release all this guilt. 

"He also was connected with four other murders in that same week. I-um..." I look up at their faces, wide with fear. I take a breath, hissing. I was so close, I can do this!

Just two sentences. You could do that, Monika.

So, taking every once of confidence and effort I somewhat have left, I whispered," Your mother is dead Natsuki. As for Sayori... her whole family is _gone._ " 

"I'm so so sorry."

Sayori and Natsuki eyes widen as they realized the truth. I avert my eyes and prepare for the worse. 

"Is this a joke?" I look up to see Natsuki standing, her smile faltering in disbelief. "Because I think this is all just one fucking stupid joke we could just all laugh about!" She laughs loudly as the tears streamed her cheeks, the cheerful sound spoiling once it reaches the air. She laughs alone. Yuri puts her hands on her face, crying softly. Sayori still stares at nothing in shock. I look at Natsuki, my eyes full of sadness. 

"Natsuki..." 

The laughing suddenly stops like a broken CD player. The poor girl was trembling, her small figure unable to take the emotional overload. She physically crumbles. Then, all at once, she gets her bag and runs to the door. I ran over and grabbed her arm.

"Where are you going." 

"GET OFF ME!" She turns around, smacking my hand away. "I'm going to Papa's, telling him the news." 

"You know that..." 

"DO I LOOK LIKE I FUCKING CARE!" Natsuki points to herself. She was trembling tremendously, tears overflowing her face. "I just... need to get out-"She regains her posture and turns for the door again. 

"I'll be back soon." 

And then she leaves, slamming the door behind her. I stared wide-eyed, unable to compute what just happened. By then, Sayori shifted. She wasn't trembling as much as Natsuki but was still shaken up. Tears line her eyes. 

"I need some time alone. I'll be in my room." I nodded. When she reaches the staircase she calls out to me.

"Hey, Monika?"

"..?!"

She runs over and kisses me on the cheek, a tear escaping.

"Thank you." 

I watch in silence as the girl ran up the stairs with her ice packs and slammed her door. A series of yells were followed after, muffled enough to not make any sense. I sighed. 

"Yuri, we finally did it." The girl in acknowledged turned towards me.

She sits in silence, looking at the ground before turning to me. "That was harder than expected. I'm sorry for not backing you up." 

"It's okay Yuri. I barely could speak anyways."

Silence. "I'm going in my room to rest." I nodded.

"Thank you."

Yuri's face gets flustered yet again, causing her to hide it with her hair. 

"No problem."

And then she leaves.

Leaving me.

Alone. 

I stared at the staircase before feeling my own tears fall. Why are they falling? Why can't they stop? I covered my head with my hands, sinking to my knees again.

I feel sad and guilty and hurting and scared...

But I'm also... proud?

I chuckled, double checking my feelings. After all that, I deserve to be proud.

I deserve to.

* * *

 I lay on my bed, unable to think of what to do next. Sayori's yells have stopped, leaving me in complete silence. I look up at the ceiling but all I saw is the boring green wall. I sigh. 

I did it. 

I should be celebrating right now. Getting over my fear. Not having a panic attack. Getting out of there. However, I just lay here, drained of purpose. I can't be happy while my friends are suffering. 

I feel proud of myself a little, but that's all.

To stop dwelling on negative thoughts, I try to plan. I know that the trip is confirmed. _My_ trip is confirmed. The faster I plan the faster I could go. 

I looked up the next flight to Florida that is in my budget. Two weeks from now. I am worried, my aunt can get killed any second, but it means more time with the girls. Plus, I can't take their money to go an earlier flight. This trip is my responsibility and my responsibility only. I buy the plane ticket, hissing through my teeth. Why do I feel like this is the wrong idea? 

Why do I feel so guilty? 

 


	7. Meeting #2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friday, October 2, 2017
> 
> ...

Friday has come earlier this week to the girl. She did nothing but mourn the whole week. She didn't want to do anything else.

She certainly didn't want to come face to face to a murderer that killed everyone that meant most to her. 

She looks at the house one last time. Not everyone, but still...

The girl hastily gets on her black outfit and leaves out her window, climbing on the old rope she used so many times before. She was still shaken up by the deaths and all she wanted was to just sit and mourn. 

No, she wanted to go back in time, to relive all her memories. No, she wanted to see them again, one last time. Yes, that's what she wants to do more than anything! It burns into her mind like a craving. A dying wish. Her thoughts whispered ideas to her, ways to fulfill this hungry desire.

_Just let go, they echoed. Then, you will be with them forever._

Her hands shook rapidly on the rope as she climbed down, her tears overflowing. No, I can't. They wouldn't want that. They wouldn't like that. They want me to live.

So, with shaky hands, she climbed down the rope, landing with a satisfying thump. She brushed off the dirt from herself and started to walk down the dark path. 

* * *

 As soon as she saw him, everything turns white. She falls with a shrieking cry and tries to steady herself on her feet again but fails. Sitting on the ground, she rubs her bruised eye. 

"Ow, that... really hurts," she whispered.

"You think I have any remorse for you now? You should have known that when I shot up that club," he says wickedly, looking down at her.

The girl doesn't respond, looking away with her only good eye.  

"You know, I had to settle with fewer amounts than usual because of your stupid ass. Where's my $250 at?" 

She bits her lip, sweat dripping from her brow. He knows. "I don't have it. You took everything I have." 

"Everything?" 

She nods, trying her hardest not to look up at his glare.

The boy chuckles, sitting down with her. 

"I guess this is the end of our journey, huh?" He sighs looking at the sky. The girl tenses at his words. No, he can't be thinking of...

"I wonder which of your nerd friends I have to get next for your replacement~" 

The girl perks up, staring daggers at the boy. "Don't you get them into this! You already have done enough..."

"Oh, you mean murdering their families? That was your fault, by the way." 

"W-What! Did you kill their families just because of $250? You **MONSTER**!"

"We made a promise, remember. You didn't deliver so I went all out with my punishment. You should really be mindful of the consequences-" 

"You murdered our families because of your _fucking_   _addiction?_ " The girl whispers under the breath. She was crying angry tears, her face flustered with ribbons of rage. The boy was surprised, she rarely did this. 

The only time she saw her like this was when he shot up the literature club. 

Then, he found her weakness, her love for her friends. Now, he can make her do whatever he wants! He could even make her kill herself if wanted. 

But not now, she was still an important piece to his plan.

"You still have my money?"

The girl looks up, her red eye completely filled with fear (the other was swollen shut by now) as it widens in remembrance. She digs in her pockets until she finally finds a crumpled envelope. The same pink one from last week. He takes it quickly, actually counting the dollar bills.   
He chuckles knowingly, causing the girl to shiver up more. 

"$300 short." 

"I-I can explain! I worked really hard but it wasn't enough work for a week. W-We both know that's impossible! I-just-can't do it without the others noticing! I-I-please have mercy..." The girl stood up quickly and bowed, waiting for the best. 

pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease-!

"Give me your phone." 

The girl stood up and blinked. "...My phone..?"

"Yes." 

The girl silently took out her phone. It was an iPhone 6S, a phone she really wanted when she was ten. She had it for years now and was content with it. It was rose gold, with a sticker of the words "Doki Doki!" she got custom made from earlier festivals.

"Ah, an iPhone 6S, huh," the boy said, a smirk on his face. "It will probably sell for $600. You take rather good care of your phones." 

The girl holds her phone to her chest. "Y-you're taking it?" 

"This or more murders. You wouldn't like it if somebody's aunt dies tomorrow, wouldn't you."

The girl gasps. " **You wouldn't DARE do that to her.** " 

The boy grimaces. " **Wanna bet?** "

The girl stares at him with pure anger before giving up and giving him the phone. 

"Remeber to delete my contacts. I don't want anyone to know it's missing."

"What contacts?" 

The girl bit her lip, trying not to squirm from his booming laughter. "I'm serious." 

The laughter dies down. "I know."

The rest of the check went by normally, the pushing questions, the uncomfortable body examination, the gun to her chest. Wait... to her chest? 

The girl tries to suppress her fear. "Why the new position?" 

The gun touches the delicate fabric of her hoodie, squirming to its heart's content. "My trust of you has been lowered. Now, if you say anything stupid, I can just shoot you and get this over with." 

The girl cringes. "Were you just doing that by shooting me in the head?" 

"It's much more painful! You see, this gun in on your chest, not your heart. You won't die right away...or so I hope. You are weak and probably pass out the second I push this trigger."

"O-Oh."

"Just a reminder to not lie to me again." 

A deep silence envelops them both as the meeting went on. The girl was filled with angry but scared to talk and the boy was simply busy. This stupid girl's fault for lying to him and he wouldn't be trying this hard. He sighs as he brushes himself off. 

"Done." 

The girl regains her posture, brushing off the black hoodie full of dirt and tears from sitting too long. 

"D-Do you promise to stay away from my friends?" 

"What about yourself? Do you want yourself to be saved from me?" 

"I realized with this meeting that I have no choice. You can say anything and I will do it. You can take anything and I will accept it. You can do anything and I won't tell a soul. I-I'm your slave."

"Ah, you finally caught on." The boy chuckled at the girl's wit. "And it only took you a few dozen meetings! Makes things easier for me I guess." 

The girl stared at him. Why did she let herself get sucked into this mess?!

"Now, I see you need to get going now. Got to patch up that eye before it gets infected." He points at the girl's bruised eye, purple and swollen. "If anyone asks, just say that you got robbed or something.  **You know what will happen if you told them about this, right?** "

The girl nods silently, unconsciously rubbing her eye again. 

He smiles and walks away while the girl tries to figure out how is she going to explain this to the others. 

Suddenly, the 'robbed' story doesn't seem that bad at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, Summer Vacation!  
> I will be posting much more, so get ready for that!


	8. 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saturday, October 3, 2017
> 
> A group. Wikipedia says it's a number of people who work together, but Monika says it's so much more. 
> 
> A group is a number of individuals who circle themselves to one and another to work on a common goal. Some groups work really poorly on the task while others work themselves the full day, however, everyone's desire in a group is to complete or succeed in the goal. 
> 
> Even if it's to gain happiness.  
> Even if it's to forget the day's worries.  
> Even if it's to try to hold in a feeling.  
> Even if it's to just to live freely.
> 
> It's valid.

I woke up slowly, trying to pull myself sleep. My alarm silently ticks. 4:29 am. That's earlier than what I woke up to the rest of this week! It's Saturday, after all. I think I didn't have a nightmare this time. I'm alone. Why even am I up? The lack of moisture in my mouth answers for me. 

"Water," I muttered silently, drowsily getting out of my bed. The hallway was dark and empty, the faint glow of the moon glittered down the windows. Another indication that it's way too early for this. I sighed and walked to the kitchen anyway. 

Trying to rub the sleepiness out of my eyes, I try to look for a cup. I knew they have to be somewhere, I'm probably just too tired to look think. After a moment I saw a clean cup in the dishwasher and took it. As I walked to the refrigerator's water filter the sleepiness from my eyes still haven't cleared and I still couldn't see very well in the dark yet. This sucks. 

I should just go back to bed right after this. My body feels tired from mourning instead of running. Plus, my dreams are nicer than reality. Reality sucks with all of the murders and Haru and anxiety stuff. My dreams are the only place that I could relax without thinking about it that much. That and the literature club. Except for the nightmares. The nightmares are horrible, they come almost every night. It's a miracle that I could sleep without one tonight. They got worse since they recently that got mostly themes about stuff about-

Sayori walks downstairs interrupting my thoughts. I couldn't see her well, but I could see she was wearing her favorite pajamas along with some slippers. Her hair was a mess, sticking out in all different directions. The tearstains that flowed down her downcasted eyes. 

The cup overflows.

"Sayori, whats wrong?" I stopped the water filter and ran over to her. She turns. 

"Nothing really!" She forces a smile on her face. "Just a little nightmare, nothing else!" 

I frown. "Want to talk about it? Think of it being my thanks on Monday." 

"Monday...oh. Well, you already gave me your thanks! It's nothing really... Just...stuff." She presses her pinky fingers together. "I-Just...okay."    

I lead her towards the couch to sit down with her. As my vision got used to the dark, I noticed she was very fidgety, playing with her fingers. I sigh. 

"You don't have to do this. I understand-"

"I do." Sayori unconsciously scratches her scalp, fuming with stress. "It's just I don't want to bother you. I mean, you're a person with valuable time and I don't want to..." 

"It's okay. I _want_ to do this."

Sayori bits her lip trying to stop an incoming smile. "Moni..."

"I mean it." 

"I-thank you..." Sayori blushes for a few moments before continuing. "...I kinda had a dream about _him_. H-he was killing you all and I had to watch. It was m-my punishment." 

"Sayori you didn't did anything wrong. You were just trying to defend us that day." 

"I know but he was really mad at me! Do you know how hard he slammed that gun? I couldn't remember anything for a like a month after that!" Sayori crumbles in her spot, fear taking over. "Wha- What if he hurt you? What if you get hospitalized or even-!"

"Sayori stop." I knew she was obeying from the silence I received. "Remeber that day? Before you got hit, we had a group effort. Yuri and her wit helped us numerous times to get out of the way. Natsuki's distractions helped us plan before he could find us. My strength and firepower helped stopped him, at least for a little bit. Your overall bravery, despite the odds defending that blow for us. As a team, we beat him and as a team, we could do it again." I pulled her into my chest. "So don't worry that much, okay?" 

Sayori nodded silently as she leans into my chest, wetting my shirt.

"I'm just really scared."

"You'll be okay, I'm sure of it."

And that, even I don't really know if it's true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so close to just renaming this chapter Monika's Theory of Friendship  
> (Yes I'm weird leave me alone)


	9. 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saturday, October 3, 2017  
> It was a slow day for Monika and her friends. Seeing she has no more choice, she overworks herself.  
> Monika doesn't like this habit but it gets the job done. Passes time quickly and keeps her mind off stuff. Perfect for slow days like these. 
> 
> And then, a knock on the door.

I lay on my bed again, looking up at the ceiling. It's been a few hours later. Sayori went out, mumbling something between the lines of going to the mall real quick. Natsuki came back Wednesday (with no new bruises thank god) and has been silently making treats to busy herself. Yuri's been reading in her room, coming out mainly to make tea. I silently went back to old habits. Overworking.

I first worked through missing work from this week since I was absent. Including my club work, it took a while, but I finished and still wasn't satisfied. So, I cleaned the whole house. I sigh, looking at my room. _It_ _fucking sparkles._

Why do I do this to myself?

I was about to pull out my poem binder to work on future poems when a knock on the door made me drop it, spilling all the contents on the floor. Damn it. I scrambled to pick them up, pushing them back in the binder. They didn't comply, crumbling up instead of going into their slots. Damn it. Damn it-!

"Are you busy Monika," a voice says behind the door. Yuri's. 

Yuri's the smartest person I know. It shows in her poems, excellent word choice, perfect rhyme schemes, emotional themes! What will she say if she finds me with all of these shitty poems? Pathetic, I know. Wait, Yuri's my friend! She won't judge me, right? Yeah, I'm just having an episode. Why am I having an episode now of all times?! Oh. I didn't take my anxiety medicine yet. I was too busy caring for Sayori. Oh god. What will Yuri say to a girl who can't control her own- 

_**RRRIIPPPPP!** _

I looked to see two pieces of newly torn paper in each of my trembling hands. I stare at them, my eyes widening. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it! Forget it, Monika. I put all the other poems inside the binder, put the binder underneath my cabinet, and thrown the torn one in the trash. It was one any-!

"Moni?"

 I whirled to the door. Yuri was still waiting. "Coming!" 

I opened the door to see Yuri. She looked better, the bags under her eyes with decreasing and her hair were less fizzled out. However, the frown on her face is laced with concern.

"Can I talk with you for a few?" 

I tense. I'm not embarrassing myself again. "Just wait a second, okay?" She nods, understanding. 

I quickly run downstairs into the kitchen where Natsuki surprisingly wasn't there. She's probably upstairs reading manga or something like that. Nothing to overreact about. 

I took my medicine quickly and soon I was feeling calmer. That was a close one. 

As I trotted my way upstairs Yuri was sitting on my bed, her hands respectively in her lap. I smile at her. 

"Whats up Yuri? Did something happen? Is it something bad?" 

Yuri looks up and shakes her head. "No No No! Everything's great! I just have a question to ask you."

I sat next to her. "Oh?"

Yuri hesitates, averting her eyes. "What are you going to do about _the trip_?"

Oh. 

I forgot I told Yuri this when I first found out! Ugh, now I feel guilty for not telling her.

"I...um... bought plane tickets already."

"Oh. When's are you suppose to leave?" 

"In two weeks."

Yuri's eyes widen. "Monika, isn't that too late of a time?"

"It's the earliest in my budget."

"I could easily-"

"No. I promised myself to not take other people money. This trip is my responsibility."

"But-!"

"No buts Yuri." 

Yuri sighs, her eyes downcast. 

"Very well." I could hear the worry in her voice, but I didn't press on it. "Anyways, when you plan on telling them." 

I avert my eyes. This is going to be hard. First telling them that their families are dead and now telling that I'm leaving on a trip and I don't know when I'm going to return? 

"I don't know... I want it to be as soon as possible but still, I want the other stuff to sink in first."

"I understand, but-" Yuri perks up and looks at the door suspiciously. 

"Yuri, is everything alright?"

She walks towards the door and looks in the hallway before sighing and shutting the door. "I thought I heard something. Must've been my imagination."

I nodded while she sits back down. Weird, I didn't hear anything. 

We talked for a few moments before I heard a mutter. And another. And another.

"Are you sure we are not being watched?"

"M-Monika don't say things like that. It's probably Natsuki and Sayori again."

"Hmm, you're probably right-!"

A knock on the door made Yuri and I freeze. Maybe someone is watching us after all!

Another knock. I hesitantly walked over to the door. This might be the death of me. I'm just glad that I lived a happy and fulfilling-

"Moni! Yuri! You're invited to our first annual family outing!" 

Sayori was standing in front of my door, a huge smile on her face. Natsuki was behind her, smirking. 

Oh, I should have known.

Instead of telling her that, I point my interest onto her face. "What's with the sunglasses?" 

"Oh, this?" Sayori pointed to the aviator shaped glasses on her face. They had a light blue rim and tint to them. I wonder how much she spent. "I got a little sidetracked and wondered to a glasses store at the mall and they had this. I just had to buy it!" 

"Sayori, you don't even need glasses," Natsuki smirked. 

"Oh, these are non-prescription!"

"So, you plan to wear them all the time?" 

"Yep!"

"Oh god." Sayori chuckles while Natsuki cringes. 

"I think you look pretty cute," I whisper. Natsuki facepalms while Sayori flushes. 

"Moni, your such a romantic," Sayori coos.

"Yuri, make them stop! They will be fucking on the floor before we know it!" 

Said girl flushed, already reverting back to her shy nature. "E-Eh?!"

"Oy! We have _some_ decency!" 

Natsuki sighs while Yuri walks over, a blush still stained on her face.

"What about this outing, Sayori," Yuri says.

 Sayori beams, ready for this moment. "Well, I know that we are all stressed from the... recent news so I decided to have an outing! Being cooped up all day doesn't help nobody."

She does have a point... My anxiety is getting messed up with all the events going on. I even reverted back to overworking.

"Hmm, I might say it's not a bad idea," I say.

"I did read somewhere that going somewhere does relieve stress..." 

"Sure, I'm in." 

"Yay! We have to get ready though, it's tomorrow!" 

"Oka- Wait, what?!" 

"Yea, I kinda booked it for tomorrow on accident..."

"Booked what exactly?" 

"It's a surprise!" 

I smiled. This girl and her surprises. 

After conversing with the tiny tsundere that she's not planning anything bad, Sayori bounces, her smile even greater than the last one.

"The Literature Club's first outing is a go!"


	10. 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sunday, October 4, 2017  
> Grief is a terrible thing.
> 
> It can hold you and keep you in its claws. It can deprive you of all that you need most. It can make the world dry and gray.
> 
> When someone can not only get out of the cages of grief but try to put others out of their cages of grief for a while is someone truly loving.
> 
> Monika is happy that she has that someone as a friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I missed three weeks!
> 
> I had lost a little bit of motivation and had a terrible case of writer's block for the past two weeks. Also, it took a while to post this chapter because I wanted it to be a little bit longer (around 3,000 to 4,000 words) and that's a lot of hard work but I did it!
> 
> Newer chapters might take a little longer cause of that too, but never this much, (I think) sorry!
> 
> -Riri

"Here we are!"

We were standing in a parking lot in front of a wide brick building. Colors shine from the walls in weird shapes.  In front, a tall, white, sign that says 'Rosefield's Roller Rink'. It looks like it was made for children, no, I'm certain that is _was_ made for children seeing that they were all over the place.

We are highschoolers, almost adults, by the way.

"...Sayori. What the fuck!?" Natsuki shouts.

"Natsuki! Kids are here," Yuri whispers sternly.

Natsuki flushes slightly, waiting for the children to past before continuing. "That doesn't explain why are we here! Sayori, we all are sixteen. We are too old for this!"

"Nonsense! Other sixteen and seventeen-year-olds ago here," Sayori says, pressing her index fingers together nervously.

"Those people are probably weebs."

"Oh? Like you?"

Natsuki became silent as a blush tints her whole face. Sayori catches this and apologizes almost immediately.

"Do you... seriously... want me... to punch you?" Natsuki asks with gritted teeth. Sayori shrinks.

"I said I'm sorry!"

The two girls pout over their own thoughts while Yuri stares at the ground, not knowing what to do. I decided to cut the conversation. "Anyways, why here?"

"Oh, because I thought roller skating will be fun! And, it will be hard to think about other things because you have to focus all your attention on not trying to fall on your face!"

"Please don't just say that so nonchalantly..."

"But... what if I don't want to fall on my face?" Yuri asks, suddenly shy.

"I have to agree with Yuri for this one. I haven't been taught how to roller skate anyways."

"Come on... guys!"

I watched the conflict between the two girls and Sayori. The latter was slowly losing the argument, her words getting slowed and twisted, a light blush on her face. I sighed. Natsuki's and Yuri's minds will be difficult to change, but I can't leave Sayori in the dust.

I place a hand on Sayori's shoulder, squeezing it slightly.

"That's enough.''

"Moni?"  
"Monika don't you dare!"  
Yuri doesn't say anything. She watches in silence, her eyes begging to not intervein. I guess she really doesn't want to fall.

"It's not that bad! I felt like Sayori had a really great plan about this and, somehow, her logic fits." The other two huff while continue. "We won't let any of you fall either. We will always be prepared to catch you, right Sayori?"

Sayori nods eagerly while the two give each other a glance.

"Fine. Fine. We will go to this stupid rink if you guys will just shut up!"

"Yay Nats! I knew you'll come through!" Sayori wraps Natsuki in an embrace while the latter throws a line of muffled curses, embarrassed. Yuri scolds her from cursing in public, forgetting her shy attitude completely.

I felt adults and children stare at us. I could feel their judgemental stares and whispers pounce on my confidence without mercy. My smile tightens and I felt my hands shake. Putting them behind my back, I tried to focus on the laughing trio in front of me but only managed a pained smile. I'm getting stares from children. Children. How worthless am I just to get scared by a 6-year-old? I'm weak. My mind. My body. My face. My words. My fake laughter. My fake smile. My fake confidence-!

"Should we get going?" I asked nervously, sweat pecking at my forehead. Sayori realized that we were still in the parking lot and released Natsuki.

"Oh yeah, let's go!" She flys in the roller rink center, clearly excited. A few crashes were heard soon after and Natsuki had to come in to help her. Yuri took a few moments getting the confidence to go in herself. Feeling uneasy, I looked back only to see a kid staring right back at me. He teases me, sticking his tongue out once his parents were away. I cringed.

Is this what an all-time low feels like?

Still, it's not like I'm here by myself. I came here to have fun with my friends, that's all.

"Oy! Monika come on!"

"Coming!"

I let out an energized calling as I stepped towards the building, my smile still lopsided and my hands still slightly trembling.  
But I let out my slight worries, I already got teased. What's more to this place?  
My smile becomes real once more. 

* * *

 

"Are you sure you're okay?" Yuri asked yet again.

"Yeah, I'm fine! I just crashed into some boxes that's all."

We were all in the roller skating rink, sitting at one of the tables. The staff had been nice enough to get Sayori an ice pack for her head after she crashed into their main office. I was sure Sayori was fine seeing how she was reacting to all this and Natsuki was annoyed of the situation at this point (she was very worried earlier no matter how much she'd denied it), but Yuri needed a lot of confirmation.

"You crashed into boxes full of skates, Sayori. Seriously are you okay?"

Sayori thinks about this for a moment, her eyes dropping into a rare pondering mode before shooting up again. "I'll be fine, Yuri! Sure it hurts but after a few moments I'm sure I will be fine again."

"Just, take it easy for a few, okay?"

Sayori's eyes relaxed as she smiled. "Okay."

I smiled at their conversation before watching Natsuki who was nervously glancing at the rink, uneasy. I knew she never skated before unlike the rest of us, her father never cared to. The rink is pretty crowded with children too, not to mention the show-offs who skate too fast with complicated tricks, only to show off that they had experience. Hitting the ground was not nice but unfortunately was pretty likely.

"Scared, huh?"

Natsuki looks up startled as her face unwillingly flushes. "Wha- No, I'm not."  
"Hey, I know what it's like. There's a lot of people and almost no space to even move. It's terrifying."

Natsuki huffs but the blush seems to be toning down. "But you actually know how to skate well, lucky"...

"You should be happier about that. If we all didn't know how to skate we'll all be screwed."

"Heh, I guess."

I stared at the rink trying to erase the slight unease I now have until Natsuki called out to me again. "Hey, Monika?"

"Yea?"

"How did you know all of that, ya know, that."

I stared at her confused before a small smile appears on my face. "Even it's it's earlier, we all had first times."

A spark of appreciation shows in her eyes as she smiles warmly for a split second before she reverts back to a smirk.

"Monika, you dirty-"

"I didn't mean it that way!"

"I didn't know you wanted to fuck Sayori that bad?"

Sayori perks from her and Yuri's conversation at the sound of her name. I try to tune down the volume of my blush in my hands while Natsuki laughs heartily.

"Goddamn, it Natsuki."

"It isn't my fault that you're so easy!"

"Easy?!"

Natsuki laughs some more while I sat up, flustered and confused. Natsuki was about to speak up again before an over-energetic voice rings from the large intercom.

"Listen all riders, experienced skate is now over! Everyone can ride on the rink now but please don't forget to be careful!"

The voice from the intercom died down just like that, leaving the music to continue to play in the background.

"Should we get out skates now?" I asked. The rest of the group nodded as we got up from our table to go to the small lockers by the wall to get our skates. Yuri and Sayori seemed to continue their conversation and I was happily watching them before someone lightly tugged on my shirt.

"T-Thanks for that," Natsuki whispered, her face flushed as she looked to the side in embarrassment but the smile was still there. "I mean that, dummy."

She runs up to the other two without waiting for a reply and joins the other two, acting like nothing happened. I smiled as happiness swelled up inside me. God, I just love Natsuki's smile.

As I joined the others I found out they were talking about the festival. As they talked I remember the fall festival was coming up and we wanted to do something spectacular since our presentation last year didn't get us any members (screw the people who find poetry speakings boring, I was almost emotional by the end of it) and we wanted to try again with something more... grand.  
The problem is, we don't know what to do.

"What about an poetry speaking event?" Sayori askes, piping from my side.

"Sayori, we did one last year," Yuri says clearly.

"Yea, but it wasn't fancy enough. We need to be more 'out there'!" The only complication is that we don't know what exactly is 'out there'.

"Sayori no-Why don't you guys just accept my idea? Surely a game or something like that can attract people," Natsuki retorts.

"But a 'game or something' won't say that we're into literature much. They would leave as soon as they joined."

"Yeah, we're a literature club and we're proud!"

Natsuki goes back to thinking while Yuri and Sayori go into a light argument about the festival arrangements. What do we exactly do for the festival? I'm their club leader and still didn't give it much thought yet. How could we get back up again after that failed poetry club speaking?

What we need is something unpredictable. Something that nobody will expect from some seventeen and eighteen-year-olds. Something, by the time the festival's over, will make them beg to join. Something...

Something... clicked.

I smile at the new thought, already processing and going through a routine before I even said it! But when I did, I couldn't hide the excitement in my voice.

"Guys, what about a documentary?"

The three girls stopped walking, considering this. Sayori looks to me, her face full of confusion. I decide to continue.  
  
"Yeah, to show the fun in the literature club! Last year, we had only shown our literature skills which kinda made people uneasy, but with this documentary, we can show them our friendship!"

"Wouldn't we be copying the photography club then?" Yuri asked.

I stopped to think about it and realized the photography club did something similar last year, but it had actually had been a full out, hour and twenty minute, movie. I remember it being really professional and well-made.

"Well, as long if they don't do it again this year, which seems unlikely, then we'll be okay. We are not as experienced as them anyway, this is just to show an example of a day with our club."

  
Natsuki was about to talk before Sayori interrupted her, announcing we were at the lockers already. We all went to get our roller skates.

"You guys ready?" Sayori says, standing up in her roller skates already.

"Ready!"  
"I guess..."  
"Sure."

Sayori cheers and skates towards the ring. I try to skate after her but wobbled and had to lean on a locker. Sayori came over and asked if I was okay. I just said I was fine and practiced to skate on the carpet, trying to regain the basics of skating again. I haven't been skating for a long time.

Meanwhile, in the corner of my eye, Natsuki was leaning on Yuri, trying to find her balance. Yuri had a bright red flush on her face, trying to help Natsuki off her chest.

At least I have some basics of skating.

After practicing skating on the carpet I found that I was ready for the ring. Sayori was waiting eagerly on the side, watching the people on the ring skate gracefully. I went to join her.

"I'm excited! It's our first outing as a literature club," She says, a smile on her face.

"Yeah, it's the first time we actually went out together without one or two of us being out," I respond, a wistful sigh on my lips.

"Do you know why I planned this?"

"To forget... that?"

"Yeah, how did you know?"

"You told us, remember?"

"I couldn't stand the sad looks on everyone's faces, Moni! Even with my own grief, my heart ached to make you guys happy. I think that's what my family, our families, would have wanted."

I ruffled her hair, a bright smile on my face. "Don't forget about yourself."

"I know! I know! Ehehe, Moni, you're going to mess up my hair!"

Natsuki and Yuri came a little later. Natsuki gripping on Yuri's hand for dear life, while Yuri was flushed at mere contact.

"I-I think Natsuki got the hang of it," Yuri stuttered.

"Yeah, this skating thing isn't that hard," Natsuki proudly said before losing her balance again and crashing into Yuri's side. Yuri lets out a squeak in response.

"It takes time to get it completely right but your learning," I say, trying to sound hopeful but all of us know that Natsuki's doing really bad right now.  
At least she's doing her best.

Natsuki lets out a muffled poorly energetic yay, just lightening the mood for all of us.

"Oh, I have an idea," Sayori says. She links our arms so that we were in one line, Sayori being the first and Yuri being the last. "You can't fall now!"

"Heh, thanks."

I could tell that she's nervous telling by the hesitation in her voice. I wished that I could reassure her.

As soon as we skated to the rink, I felt myself wobble, catching myself in time, earning myself a shout to not let us fall. I began to steady myself normally and so do the others.

"Okay, everyone! Let's go slow for now," I said.

Everyone stayed by the wall to hold on to while we were skating. Even being slow we had lots of fun, laughing in the process.  
Then we figured we skated enough to move away from the wall.

Natsuki wasn't really on board with it but the rest of us were skating for fifteen minutes and was bored with the slow safety wall. So, we retreated from the wall against Natsuki's will and more into the general area of the rink.

It was fun for a moment. Going faster brought the excitement back to skating. Well until one of the professional skaters went in front of us, making us stumble. Everyone except Yuri regains their balance making all of us slightly off balance.

"Yuri, regain your balance," Natsuki demands.

"I-I can't! You guys need to slow down," Yuri retorts.

"We won't make it," I yelled. The wall is too far away and if Yuri doesn't regain her balance was going to fall before we get halfway.

"Eh?! So what do we do?"

"Can we slow down here?"

Sayori turns, a helpful glint in her eyes. "No, well probably get ran over."

Natsuki panics. "Ran over?!"

"Don't worry, it doesn't hurt that much anyway-"

'Wall!"

Sayori turns to see an incoming wall. We supposed to turn a long time ago.

"Right!"

She turns wildly, making us yelp. Natsuki lost her balance from the turn, leaving only me and Sayori yet.

"Sayori, what are you doing!"

"At least we didn't hit the wall!"

"Were further from the wall now!"

Natsuki was correct, seeing that we were on the experienced side of the rink. The beginner side was out of reach. Sayori goes faster, making us yelp yet again.

"We need to go faster if we are going to get back," she chimed.

"She's right. Hang on!" Using most of my strength I tried to match Sayori's pace and we quickly zoomed through the rink.

"Sayori! Monika! You're going too fast!"

"Go slower dummies!"

I tried to stop in my tracks but that only that only tightened my grip on Sayori, disconnecting it. Sayori falls on the floor

"Sayori!"

"Oof!"

With Sayori gone, all three of us went extremely off balance and crashed into a wall. The fall wasn't that bad, only a minor headache was caused by it.  
But still...

I started laughing.

A sweet, cheerful, sound escape my lips as much lips encrusted into a smile. Every chuckle relieving me of everything.

I opened my eyes to see the girls laughing with me. Smiling, happy, and free.

It worked. She did it.  
And the thing is that she'd probably did it without realizing it yet.

"That was extricating," Yuri says.

Natsuki pointed to me and Sayori, a playful pout on her face. "You guys were going fast as fuck. I couldn't hold on that long."

"I couldn't either. Why do you think I let her go," I laughed.

"I wasn't that fast you meany!"

"Don't call me meany when you almost dislocated my arm."

"Hey, is anyone going to mention that guard has been looking creepily at us since we crashed."

"Natsuki, he's going to warn us if we don't get up," Yuri warns making Natsuki snort.

"Why is he staring at us though. It gives me stalkerish vibes."

"It's his job."

We laughed as we got up, skated to the entrance of the rink and relaxed.

"Round two?"

"Round two?! Natsuki you were panicking the whole time!"

Natsuki's face turned bright red yet again. "I was scared you two were going to fuck up!"

Sayori laughs at Natsuki's retort.

"I could go for another skate," I finally said with a grin.

"Hmm, me too," Yuri thoughtfully replies.

"So, it's a go then?" Natsuki says.

"Yep!" Sayori exclaims already in front of us.

"Then let's go!"

As I was skating I thought about this week. I believe, even now, that grief is a terrible thing. It can hold you and keep you in its claws. It can deprive you of all that you need most. It can make the world dry and gray.

My friends experienced it. I experienced it. Even now, we know everything won't go 100% back to normal.

But with her. With me. With all of us. We know it's going to get better.


	11. 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monday, October 5, 2017
> 
> There's a lot of things in the literature club. A love between two clubmates. A bond between four friends. Happiness, an aura all around the room!
> 
> The literature club has everything except normalcy. Something has to happen to someone and everyone has to deal with it. But that what's makes the literature club fun, isn't it? 
> 
> And even when sometimes, it isn't fun it can strengthen their friendship with each other.
> 
> That's the beauty of this, of them, despite what everyone else thinks.

Monday morning came quickly, signaling itself with the beeping of my alarm clock. I groan, rolling over to turn off the annoying beeping, and rubbed my eyes to attempt to rub the sleepiness out of my eyes.  
At least I didn't have a nightmare.

I stretched my arms out, careful to not stretch my stitches that much. Putting it in too much strain hurts, almost as much as it did when he shot me.

I thought of yesterday during my half-sleep haze and smiled lazily. I hope we will have a fun day today just like yesterday. For the first time last week, everyone was truly happy.  
How much longer will that happiness really last?

I sighed, moving from my warm covers and into the bathroom, where I freshened up before grabbing one of the books on my bookshelf. It was one of the newer ones by one of my favorite authors.

I update my bookshelf daily, not only to read some new books and to keep my collection updated but to please Yuri too. She uses my bookshelf too since she already read all the books in her house. I don't mind much, she keeps them in perfect condition anyways.

I went into the living room and got the coffee machine from the front of the counter. I usually get coffee after my run, being tired and all, but it became too dangerous to run recently. Coffee would make me in a perky mood for I wasn't that tired but I didn't care. Coffee is coffee.

I grabbed the steamy hot coffee after and brought it up to my lips. It burned slightly at the touch but nothing that I wasn't used to. I sat the cup on the table near the couch a little later and read seeing there wasn't anything else to do.

Yuri came a little later, saying a drowsy hello. I say one back, humming a bright tune. I noticed was still wearing her robe despite me wearing my uniform. I was so used to changing into my uniform as soon after I showered from my run that I accidentally just put it on after my first one.

Yuri seemed to dismiss why I was wearing my uniform and went to the kitchen to fix some tea (I don't know how could she function without coffee) for herself. She also did some of the chores to which I made a mental note to thank her for.

I also noticed that she didn't make any move towards the tv, daring to even look at it.

I continued to read while she did these things, my book has been at its climax and was actually pretty good.

"Is that a new one?" Yuri asks, I looked up and blinked before replying to her.

"Yeah, brought it a month ago."

She hums a tune while sipping her tea, excited that the bookshelf has been updated. "Is it a nice one?" I smile wider as I showed her the author and her eyes widen. "It's that author?! I thought he was on a hiatus!"

"It turns out that he recently got out of hiatus since his son is now going to daycare. To celebrate, he released a new book! I just needed to get it."

"I'm excited to read it! Moni, where are you at."

"Climax. I might be done reading it by next week."

"When you end it tell me about it." She sips her tea once again, this time having a wider smile on her face.

We giggled and talked about the book like little kids talking about a new toy. Well, until Natsuki came downstairs, leaving Yuri with an embarrassed hue.

Natsuki wore a large shirt that her torso drowns in, some pink pajama pants, and plush bunny slippers. She stops walking when she sees Yuri, her face the same color as her pajamas.  
I swear I saw some red tricked down her face...

Whatever it was, I dismiss it and thought to try to lessen the awkward silence between us three, however,  before I could speak Yuri found her voice.

"I-I...urm... have to go... change! Yes, it's almost time for school! I'm sorry Moni but we have to continue our conversation another time." She rushes off in a blur of purple hair waiting for no reply.

I nod hesitantly, still slightly confused by her erupt departure and horrible lie. I then look over at Natsuki and she looks as confused as I am before clearing her throat. "Goddamn that Yuri, always running when I need her."

I just shrugged and looked at the clock. 6:30 am.

"It's still a bit early for you to be up. There are at least thirty minutes before your alarm.

"Quit babying me Monika, I can wake up for myself!" She diverts her eyes to huff while I sigh, picking up my coffee to drink it again.

Natsuki goes to the kitchen, fixing all of us breakfast. I volunteered to help her but she gave me a glare and basically told me to fuck off. I guess she's tired again, based off her bad mood. She always a little cranky at mornings but rarely this much.

Unless she gets home late due to her father keeping her in longer or her not being home at all, which are the scariest of nights, but she always comes to school fine except for a bruise somewhere and an awful attitude.

I decided not to mess with her right now. Maybe talk to her privately during the club meeting? Yeah, she would most likely calm down before then.

With that decided, I go back to reading my book, pretending that I wasn't coming up with a plan for the wellbeings of my clubmates.

Thirty minutes went quickly as I was reading. Soon it was 7:18 and Natsuki had to nudge me that breakfast was done. She and Yuri were wearing their uniforms now so I guessed that they changed.

"Moni, breakfast's ready."

I nodded, ready to get this day started.

As I went over to the dining room, I couldn't but notice the empty seat beside me.  
"Is Sayori up?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow.

Natsuki rolls her eyes while Yuri closes her eyes, nodding her head.  
"I tried to knock on her door, but it never works," Yuri says timidly.

I sigh, glancing at the stairway.  
"Keep the food warm, okay?"

Natsuki gives a skeptical look, putting the two dishes in the fridge. Yuri gives a light smile and I gave a playful smirk back before heading upstairs.

As I approached Sayori's room, I decided to knock one last time.  
"Sayori, you up?"

Moments of silence proves Yuri's last point as I rolled my eyes, chuckling slightly.  
"Okay, I'm coming in!"

Sayori's room was slightly cluttered because she had forgotten to clean it earlier. However, it wasn't near as dirty as it used to be. Since she first stayed here we all clean her room with her, since she has a hard time doing it because of her depression.

Sayori herself was laying on her bed, fast asleep. I smiled, a blush forming across my face. No Moni, you have to remember what's at stake!

I ruffled her hair gently. "Wake up sleepy head." She groans and turns over to my dismay. "Come on, Natsuki's going to complain."

Again, no reply. I sat on the edge of her bed, expecting this to take a while. After shaking a shoulder a few times, I got a response.  
"Mm...what's the time?"

I glanced momentarily at Sayori's alarm clock. The blue clock has two tiny cat ears attached on its top. It sits on her counter, right next to her plush bunny, making it easy to see.  
"Um...7:35. Why?"

"...Ten more minutes," she replies drowsily.

"Sayori, no."  
"Sayori, yes."

I bit my lip, deciding what to do next. Do I go with it? Do I admit defeat? I took a steady glance at Sayori's alarm clock and decided it was worth it. So, I got up and promptly plucked her forehead. Her eyes fluttered open at the gesture and she frowns.

"Moni, that hurts~"

"It was well worth it."

She pouts, rubbing the spot where I plucked it. I scooped the smaller girl up in my arms, blowing a raspberry on her forehead.

"Moni, ehehe, what are you doing?"

"Kissing it better!"

She laughs, trying to push me away. After a few minutes, I finally stop and we gazed into each other's eyes until a crash breaks us both from our trance.

It seems like some dishes crashed downstairs. Are they both okay downstairs?

Some muffled noises, two screams, and a fight beginning get me my answer. I sighed, looking back at Sayori, who sighed as well. I let go my hold of her and leaned against the wall.

"Hey, Sayori?"

"Hm?"

"What's the time?"

"Eh? Um...7- It's 7:48?!"

I snicker while Sayori rushes to get ready. She pouts at me.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?!"

"I did."

Sayori doesn't listen, too busy.

"I'm going to the shower, okay?"

"Okay."

She waves at me before rushing in the shower. I decided to go downstairs to wait for her.

Natsuki and Yuri wouldn't look at each other by the time I went downstairs. I raised a brow but didn't ask anything involving the topic. Instead, I began to put my books into my own bag, hurrying against the time. By the time Sayori joins in a couple of minutes later, I look up to see Natsuki and Yuri were gone.

"Eh? Where are they at?"

"Oh, they said that they were walking to school ahead."

With my eyebrow twitching a little, I sigh, picking up my bag and putting over my shoulder. Abandoning us and walking to school. Great. "Come on Sayori, we're going to outrun those cheaters."

Sayori grins, noticing the perky tone in my voice.

"I can't wait to see you run with coffee! You'll be like the Flash!"

I laugh, covering my mouth to try to stifle it.  
"Eh, you think so?"

"I know so."

I laugh again, stretching out my legs a little. "Let's prove it then."

"Right on!"

We slip on our shoes and run towards school, totally not ambushing the others in the process. 

* * *

_Sometimes, I watch as Auntie tends her garden outside. She has two little ones near the sides of her fence. They were small, but bursting with color and beauty._

_Auntie takes great care of them, making sure each one has enough water and sunlight and keeping bugs and weeds out. She does this every day._

_Sometimes, as I watch Auntie, she spots me. With a raised eyebrow and a playful smirk, she motions me outside._

_We tended to the flowers together with some chit-chat in between, although Auntie's bad at it. I guess she doesn't know what topics not to go to with a teenager._

_"So, dating anyone?"_

_Example A._

_"Eh? I'm not interested in nobody. It's not like mom and dad will let me date anyone anyway."_

_"Come on, don't limit yourself! Remember what I said a year ago? 'Rebel-'"_

_"-be free. Yes, yes I remember. It's just that all the boys are heartless jerks and the girls are so stuck up to the point that it hurts." Auntie laughs while I manage to crack a smile. "Nobody's that cute at the school that I'm in."_

_"Except for you."_

_I flipped my hair dramatically, causing Auntie to giggle again. "Well, I'm not really an option."_

_Auntie smirks before picking one of her hibiscuses. I turned to see what she was doing and she unexpectedly puts it in my hair._

_"You look greater than great."_

_"These are one of your flowers!"_

_"I had it for a long time, it was about to die."_

_"...that makes me feel worse."_

_I gently tapped one of the petals, eyeing it carefully. It felt too big to be just one flower. "Are these one of your Rose Mallows?"_

_She raises an eyebrow suspectly. "How did you knew?"_

_"It covers this whole half of my hair, Auntie! Only Rose Mallows grow to be that huge."_

_"Yeah, your right. It's one of the bi-colored ones."_

_"That makes me feel worse! The bi-colored ones are rare."_

_"I have a few left, surely those could reproduce. I'll be fine."_

_"O-oka-hey! What are you doing?!"_

_Auntie picks another Rose Mallow and places it in her hair as well. It covers a bit of her face. I laugh a bit._

_"Don't think I won't get in with the trends."_

_"Auntie, this isn't a trend."_

_"Well, we are making it one!" She grabs her phone and asks if I wanted to see myself, which I agreed to._  
_So she takes a selfie, her in the front making one of her silly faces and me in the back, grinning like an idiot. I feel a bit uneasy since my parents don't do this thing with me, but this is Auntie. I can act like myself here._

_I let myself get in another silly pose and waited for the incoming click._

* * *

 

_**Ding Dong!** _

I jump, looking at the large school clock. I then look down at my notebook, which was empty. I sigh, putting the book back in my bag. I guess I daydreamed mostly in class today. The day seemed to fly by too, nothing's left but one more period.

I can't help but feel a pain of guilt in my heart. It's not like someone like me is expected to daydream. I am looked up to by hundreds of students, I can't let them down.  
It's not like I wanted them to look up to me, but still...

I lifted my bag up to my shoulder and went to the music room where I spend study hall. I usually play piano in there as a soother. I think I had gotten good at it during the years, but never thought to show it to anyone.

I set my bag down and began to play. I had nothing ready, so I pressed some random keys. Most times, I press the wrong key, making me cringe. I sigh, looking at the ceiling. What am I doing?

My piano skills have become dull for the week I was out. It's hard to get back to the swing of things when your fingers keep cramping every second. To add on, my mind is void of any ideas. It's pointless.  
And I thought this was soother.

_**Ding Dong!** _

I have to try again tomorrow then.

I pick up my bag again and went to the clubroom, hoping they can help improve my mood.

To think of it, I haven't been to a much of a bad mood at school since last week. This grief isn't done wearing me down yet.

I walk into the club with a weary smile to see that nobody was there. At least the club had not changed during our absence.

I sat down and rummaged in my bag to find the book from this morning. I haven't had time to read it yet, daydreaming and all. I flipped through to find my bookmark and started reading. 

* * *

 

"Hey, Moni"

I look up to see Natsuki in the doorway and I smile. "Hey."

She gives an effortless wave before looking around. "Nobody's here?"

"Not yet."

"Thank god. I can read my manga in peace." She closes the door and retreats in the closet. I open my book once again only to be interrupted by Yuri. She scans the clubroom.

"Hey, Yuri?" Yuri jumps at the sound of her name and flushes.

"H-hi Moni."

"Whats wrong. You're not acting like yourself."

"I swear I'm fine. It's just..." She trails off, flushing even more and runs off to a desk. I eyed her suspiciously.

"You sure, you can leave early if you want to."

"Really, I'm fine."

"Tell me if you need anything, it's the club president's job to know the safety and well-being of their clubmates!"

Yuri giggles. "You use that line every time."

"It's true though!"

Yuri gets cuts off by the sound of running footsteps and the door opening once more.

"Ha... Sorry...ha... that I'm late!"

Sayori, face flustered with exhaustion, leans against the doorway trying to catch her breath. I look at her quizzically.

"It's only been five minutes since the bell."

"Really?!" She looks at the clock, double checking herself. "I must've lost track of time again~"

She sits in a nearby desk, resting her head on her palms.

"You ran here from the other side of the building?" Yuri asks. Sayori looks up and nods.

"I thought that I overslept and missed the whole meeting so I ran." She then slumps again, trying to kick her feet. "I never thought it would hurt this much."

"Your legs were just sore from last week Sayori," I said sternly. Her head perks up again.

"They're not that bad guys. We even went rollerskating yesterday!"

"If it caused a reaction now it surely caused one yesterday," Yuri whispers.

I gasp silently. "So that means it has gotten worse. How could I be so stupid?"

"Guys-!"

I suddenly picked her up in a princess carry, making her yelp.

"We're going to the nurse."

"But I'm fine~"

"You're not, we all can see it. Just let me take care of you for once."

"I...okay."

We were about to leave when I turned back to Yuri, remembering earlier. "What I said to Sayori applies to you too. We can end this early if you want."

Yuri shines a small smile. "I think I have this all in control." I was about to object when she shoots me a look.

I sighed deeply and mumbled a quick "we will be back soon."

After we were a great deal away from the clubroom, Sayori spoke up.

"What was that about?"

"I don't know, but I think Yuri would like to be alone for a while." 

* * *

 

  
"It's cold!"

"Come on Sayo, your legs won't swell down by themselves."

"I was hoping them too."

We are at the nurse's office. The nurse said that some ice will let the swelling die down. That and not using her legs for a while.

Sayori hisses from the cold once more. I shoot her a glare.

"It's super cold Moni! Almost like dry ice!"

"It isn't that bad."

"For me it is." She twiddles her thumbs, averting her eyes. I patted her head.

"You're a bean."

"Moni~"

I look at the clock, wondering when to get back to the clubroom. I was greeted with thirty minutes after school was over. I mentally cursed.

"The club was over thirty minutes ago Sayori! We have to go!"

Sayori sits up, throwing the ice packs off her legs. "What about the others?"

"They probably just went without us again," I say, lifting Sayori up. She sighs.

"Ambush ti-"

"No."

"Aw..."

We left the school (the door was unlocked thankfully) in search of our two friends once again.

However, I can't help but feel some unease when passing Natsuki's house. No, not her house, but her nightmare.

 

Please be alright.


	12. 10*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tuesday, October 6, 2017  
> A part of you...missing. Do you know what that feels like? An aching part of you, cold, empty, hollow. 
> 
> The feeling can spread. Did you know that? It changes your mood, your personality, your life.
> 
> You may get the burning urge to get it back. Can you see it? An urge their eyes, their smiles, their hearts.
> 
> You might do anything to get it back. And with the gun in her holster, they gave in.
> 
> Do you know what that feels like?
> 
> *- Don't read if you're the faint of heart!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  *** Nudity and references to rape are in this chapter! Don't read if your sensitive to any of these things!**   
> 

 

I can't take this.

I take the bottle from my cabinet, pulling off the cap and shaking out two white pills from the container.

This is all too much.

I swallow the pills along with a glass of water, tightening my grip a bit too much.

Why her. Why them. Why me.

My mind doesn't stop buzzing with fussy static, reminding me of all my troubles. I bit my lip and tried to drink the rest of the water.

All because of one pathetic dumbass.

"Are you okay now?" A voice. I open my eyes, bright lights stinging them.

"I can't be okay."

All because of one person who had one job.

"Moni you have to sit down. You've been pacing all night."

I took a breath, taking in my surroundings. Against kitchen counter. Taking medicine. Sayori by my side. Yuri leaning against the living room wall. Natsuki...nowhere.

God, I wish she just come in and grin like the idiot she is.

I look at the clock, blinking a few times.

12:53 am.

Damn it. Damn him.

Not again.

Natsuki is not going to come home tonight. Not to her real home.

When we all made living arrangements here, Natsuki couldn't get away from her father. The only way was her to sneak out of the house at night. Since her father was a useless drunk, he almost never noticed.

When he did notice, she was kept for the whole night. Often when she gets back, she always gets a bruise somewhere and an awful attitude.

This isn't the first time it happened. It happened a couple of times now, but we can't act like everything's fine in her absence. It's the fucking scariest days of our lives.

Because even we don't know if she is ever going to come back.

 

Because even we don't know if she is going to be okay.

 

B̸̨̨͓̯̖̹̼̲̩̤̹̼͇͖̥̤̱͖̟̭̘̱̃͜͜ȩ̵̢̧̧̛̛̬̣̜̳̗̲̗̜͚͈̖͔͙̣̜̫̼̱̥̓̈́͐͒̉̀͛̅̿ͅć̷̱̠͔̣̺͚͔̫̤̳́̀̃̐̔̿̋̄̔̽̾̆̚͝͝â̷̛̘̦̆͒͂͑͑̅̐̌̿̐̈̓̈̄̄̊́̉̋̾͆̆̚͝ư̷̤̼͓̭̇͋͒̈̇̉̂̄͊̈́͝ş̵̜̩͎̠̰̣̙͖͙̥̠͇͇͉́͂͋̐͜͜͜ͅe̴̢̛̦̜̻̬̟̹͔͒̈́̃̆̌̔̒͆̀ ̸̧͍̩̩̟̹͍̤̙͉̦̱͓͎͒̀̌͗͋̒̏̉̈͛̈͆̚͜͠ȩ̶̢̒̌̓̋v̵̳͉̲̝͎͚̭̟̲̳͕̟̠̝̼͓̰̻̜̤̦͉̜̎͌͋̿̈́̉̎̊͘͜͝e̷͖̳̜̦̥̪̱̍̒͆̆͋̌̾̌̇͌̊̆̏͂n̷̬̩͓̤̝̞̗̿̋̊͛̔̇̿̽͑͛̓͝͝ ̵̧̡̖̥̯̰̩̘̞͈̞̯͔̪͉̭͒̆͌̈͒̾̇́̒͑͆͛͗͛͆̄̾́̑̈́͒͗̚̕͝ͅw̸̨̘̰̟͈̯̋̌̈́̇͊̊͐̽̈͌̈͐̚ͅȩ̷̢̗͔͇̖̼̣̻͉̳̣͍̲̞̤̱̞͎̱̝̮̫͚̥͈͕̚ ̷̡̡̪̙̬̥̭͎̹͎̼͙̥̦̬̹͇̪̱̄͒̇̓̉̔̽̈́̋͛̈́̚͝ͅͅḑ̴̡̧̭̮̺̱͍̦͕̞͍̑̆̎̓̓̈́̅̓̿͋͐̍͋̊͂̓̒̏͘͜ͅǫ̶̭̞͖͕̗̼̲͙̱̦̭̜̻̺̦̦͚͍̪́̉̽͂͛́̒̿̍͗͐̊͌͘͜͝ṋ̴̫̫͔͕̲͈͎̠̬̠̜̣͉̅͗̃͆̈̉̐͐͒͗̊͛̎͜͜͠͠'̸̡͕̥̦͚̺̱̱̭͔̜͉͎̼̳͚̜̳̳͎̼͓͓̹̃̓̋̅̋̈́͛͛̅̊̔̋̍͋̕̕͝͝͝ͅt̶̨̢̧̧̥̲͕̣̝̗͇̘̩͈͉̫͈̱̥͈̘̮̖̙͌ ̴͓̰̟̯̣̍̆̔͆̈́͌̓̈́̕̕̕͝k̶̢̡̨̛̩̟͚͔̫̈́̈́̍̓̇͝n̴̢̨̢̨̖̠͇̫̰̣̰̜̖̙̤̜̣̟̤̟̞̹̩̤͈̍̽̉̓͠͠ỏ̸̡̡̧̼̼̫̞͈̼͍̅̈́̉̔͐̓̌̈́͋͒̐̚͘͠͠͠w̵̢̨̮͕̯̦͇̣̙͔̠͓̠͇̲̯̘̞̰͆͗̒̓̃̚ͅ ̶̢̥͚̱̭͉̪̜͙̙͖̖͇̼̮͇̤̪̦̝̤̉͌̆̂̌͛̈́̈́̅͂̾̒͋̆͂͋̋͑̚͘̚̚͝͝i̷̛̛̬̠͕̥̭̱̼̹̜̰̝̤͖̝͔̗͎̼̭̦͙̲͚͐̀̎̉̇͌̓͌̽̊̄̑̊͂͂̍͋̆̌̂̕͝͝f̸̡̤͈̺̝̗̯̂̔̎̈͛̈͂͐͐̈́̊̈̽̽͐̑̈̓̋͛̕̕͜ ̷̡̳̪̗͎͗͂͗̑̎̊̓̌̿͛͗͌͛̃̄̓̄̈́͋̌̕͝͠͝ș̴̛̞̗̹͉̙̜͋̋͑̿̍̄̔̏̊̄̐̂̃̑̓̃̾̾̽̓͊̚̕͝h̶̛̦̥̳̫̘̹̦̿͑̍̉̎̑̌͗̈̅̓́̆̋̓̍̽̍̎͘͜͝ȩ̷̧̲͚̱̪̳̼̮̮̱̝͆̈́̆͋͒̏̋̅͊͆̏̉̂̚'̷̨̢̡̨̡̻͍̹̩̳͈̯̦̭̩͍̞̪̠̠͔̯͍̱͓̔͆̄̉̈́̕s̶̡̨̢̪̪͙͓̲̠̝̘̥̩̻̳͓̘̘͙͚̲̫̔̄͂̈̎̓̕ ̵̨̨̨̧̧̱̝͙̻̜̰̺̮̭̥̰̦̝͆̀̽̃̅̓͜͝ͅg̸̡̛͔̤̖͉͎̤͔͓̮̺̟̦̱̲̻̀͋̔̒̉̈́̈́̆̾̒͆̽͘͘͝͝ǒ̸̢̧̢̧̗̟̞͚̪̹̟̘̱̯̜͕̗̣̮̥̀̓̽̎̓̀́͗̀̇͜͝͠͝͝i̴̮̣͂̂͒̊͒̋͆̊̈́̀̒͛̿͂̑͛̇͝͝ǹ̷̡̡̛̻͍͎̲͙̟̖͙̮̹̲̣̗̬̙̽̔̉͌͌̎̄͆͘͜ͅg̶̛̠̙̲͈͎͔̟̬̪̜͖͖̞̬̰͐̌̽̌͒̔̈́̊̅̎̒͆̾̂͌̋̈̎̎͆̚͠͝͝ ̷̛̛̯̥̫̭̣̪̬͙̜͙̪̮̟͇̓͂̐̒̆̋̆̌̽̂̽̾́̍͗̒͗̈͋͝ṯ̵̢̧̨̛̲͚̗̦͓͈̤̩̫͈̬̜̳͕͕̥̙͇̫͗͛̾͆̀̔̑̇̊͆́͜͜͜͝͝ͅo̴̧̢̦͖̫̤͈͓̟̳̥̮͙͓̣̳̖̼̟̲̰̙͍̊̏̂̽̕͜͜͝ ̴̥̤̤̗͕̈́̃̔͐̈́́̅͌̐̑̓͊̈́̎̏͊̾̈́͆̇̚͘͝͠g̶̢̢̧̯̮̤̖̝̰͍̭͙̹̺̯̣̣̒̇͊̉͜͜͝ͅé̶̢͇͍̝̼̬͎̲̱̻͖̫̲̰͘͠t̷̨̘̬̳͍̼͉͇̺̓̏̄̉͌ͅͅ ̸̛͕̤͈̻͖̯̙͇̻͛̇̔͐̏̍̐͂̊͊̃́̓͂͗̇̈́͊̈́̌̍̍̿̉͘͝͠r̴̢̞̠̩͇͈̺͚̠̮̻̪͈̭̠̟̺̍̾̊̅̇͆̏̍̄̋̊͝͝͠ȧ̸̢̰̠̟̬̥͕̩̠̜͚͈̤̖̼̥̞̥̻͎̝͙̟̫̋͗̂͊̚͜͝p̷̼͓̒̈̈͛̑́̈̓́̄̐͂̔̅̈́̿̽̄̚̚̚̕͠ę̷̧̛̼̭͕͈̮̹̣͈̰͐͊͌̽̂͌̎́̉̒̒̈͑̈́̔̈͑͊̿̓͜͜͜͝d̵̡̘̯̙̦̱͎͍̠͎̜̟̦̟̙͍̙̘̖̱̺͈͎̮̺̔̑̅͌̽̎̈́̈́̌͜ ̶̰̩͎͍̪͗͐̔̒̄̂̂̃̑͌̽͐͑̆͑̔͂͛͛͛̔͘͠͝ͅä̷̡̨̞̲͇̙̘͚̙̩͇̫̤͔̬̱̟͉̣̺̯̅͜͠g̵̨̧̡͉͎̱͎̱̱͉̩̘̱̱͖̺̯̳̝̘̬̝͈̍̏̇͗̀̔͆̊́͒̽̾̔̍̏̌̍͆̈́͘̕̚͝ã̷̢̨̻̥̭̼̬̘̫̜̱̙̼̜̘̠̬̰̯̀̈̓͂͆̌͂̈́͑̅̒̎̔̎̌̓̂̈́̃̔̕̕̕͝ḯ̴̢̻̬̙̱͇̰̗͇͓̘̞͈͖̗̟̠̤̹̓̏̊̿̽̓́͋̉́͂̾̆̈̂͑͋̚̕̚͜n̷̹̳̗̪̹̾̓̒͑̌́̄͗͆͒́̍͐͆͐͘.̵̨͙̠̤̳̣͈̊̏̿̏̆́̽

 

I pinch the bridge of my nose, sighing. Sayori places a hand on my shoulder, which I smile to.

"She will be okay. She's a fighter," Sayori says, but even her voice is too fragile and light for either for our likings.

I nod anyway and went to sit.

We all worried for her in some type of way. I pace through the halls, just worrying and praying that she isn't really dead and the last words I said to her were fucking "not yet" what a shit friend I am-

I bit my lip and took a deep breath.

Sayori usually just bites her lip and hopes for the best with a smile. Even when the smile is weary with worry or accompanied by tears of exasperation. It shows how strong she is, which is what I love about her.

Yuri is more quiet than usual. She wouldn't say anything for the rest of the night. I tried to ask her if she's alright, but she just nods and disappears. It doesn't help that she was acting weird at the club meeting. It doesn't help that she's gone.

"Did Yuri leave again?"

Sayori sits next to me and nods absently, getting her new set of ice packs. She has been doing better, but not better enough to go to school tomorrow. I put my hands over my face and sighed.

"I'm sick of this."

"Moni-"

"It's just so sickening. This feeling makes me feel sore and aches inside. Why didn't we just put him away."

"Monika you know that the last time we called the police they searched his house found him innocent. They told us to stop playing pranks and left."

"It's just isn't fair."

Sayori softly rubs circles on my back, whispering silently. "It isn't."

I remove the hands from my face and turned to Sayori, ignoring the hot tears forming on my face.

"How do you feel?"

Sayori's eyes widen slightly as if she's surprised for me to worry for her. "Moni-"

"Sayori."

Sayori hesitates for a bit before grabbing her phone, opening up her text messages. Fidgeting, she cups it in my hands.

"It feels like...a part of me is missing."

* * *

 

_Natsu Natsu Kii <3_

_Sayo: Hey when are you coming home_

_Sayo: We are all waiting for you!!_

_Sayo: Natsu?_

_Sayo: Natsuki?_

_Natsu: Not coming today. Stop spamming me >.<_

_Sayo: wait what_

_Sayo: Is there anything we could do?_

_Sayo: Natsuki?_

_Sayo: NATSUKI?!_

_Sayo: ~~Is it because I'm so weak to help you?~~ {Deleted}_

_Sayo: ~~You know, I just hurt myself again today~~ {Deleted}_

_Sayo: ~~So, even if I tried I won't be able to save you~~ {Deleted}_

_Sayo: ~~I'm sorry that I'm so useless~~ {Deleted}_

_Sayo: stay safe_

_Sayo: We will always be waiting_

* * *

 "I'm sorry."

Sayori tugs on her shirt, uncomfortable. Tears sting on her eyes.

"I'm sorry to use texting to vent. It was just..." She chokes back a sob while I waited politely for her. She didn't take long, wiping her eyes and looking at me with dedication.

"A part of you...missing. Do you know what that feels like? It hurts, but I just can't break on you. Not when you need me the most."

"That's not true."

"Monika? What are you-"

I pulled her into my embrace, not caring about anything. She tenses for a moment before giving in.

"We can break together."

"Please..."

"We are both equal messed up and imperfect, so we have to lean onto each other. I can't just sit and let you handle your stuff on your own. It will hurt too much! So, please..."

Sayori breaks out of the embrace and kisses me. Her tears bounce off her cheeks and onto mine as she wraps her arms around me. I accept, pulling her closer.

We stayed like that for a while until breathing was a problem and we parted. Sayori, tears still overflowing out of her eyes, loosens her grip on me. Her smile is saddened and forced, but yet she still wears it.

"Moni, you're too nice to me," she whispers.

"It's my duty as your girlfriend."

Her smile enlightened for a second before it disappears completely as she bawling in my chest, whispering all her flaws. I hold her closer, whispering all of mine.

I always thought that Sayori was strong. And even in this vulnerable state, I still do. She has the heart to put others before herself, despite her horrible depression. And with the stuff we went through together, her even trying to keep it together is amazing to me.

That is what I love about her. 

* * *

 

"You're quiet."

Yuri jumps slightly, my words distracting her from her unusual behavior. She tenses and looks away, flustered. Stuttering, she slightly tugs down her skirt. "A-Am I always?"

"More than usual. It's almost like... back when you were trying to hide."

Yuri stops dead in her tracks and I stopped a few steps ahead of her.

"I'm s-sorry for worrying you. It's just that with everything that's going on..."

I gazed over my shoulder, my fingers crossing in front of me as they hold on to my skirt.

"Have you gave in?"

Yuri meets my gaze quickly and sternly, her shy demeanor completely gone. "Never."

After moments of staring I relaxed, smiling slightly and muttering an almost silent thank goodness. However, the smile quickly disappears.

"But you're not acting like yourself lately, even before last night. I'm not going to push you but if you ever need anything-!"

"I got into a fight with Natsuki."

I blinked. A fight? Yuri and Natsuki had gotten into lots of fights since the origin of the literature club. I don't know why one can easily upset Yuri now. Said girl walks over shyly and explains.

"Yesterday we c-crashed into each other and k-knocked over some dishes. We haven't talked properly ever since. I know it is c-common for us to fight but now it feels not right throwing insults at her. Even just thinking about her large pink orbs and her shimmering flowing hair-"

"So you have a crush on her?"

Yuri jumps again and looks away bashfully. "Maybe?"

I mean, she didn't stutter this time.

As we walked together yesterday's morning events now makes more sense. Yuri likes the small weeb. Interesting.

I shoot her a devilish smile. "Well, I can help you a little. A little like a wingman."

Yuri sighs doubtfully. "At least your not Sayori."

I laugh and Yuri shines a small smile. "I wonder what that would be like. Sayori would end up spoiling everything."

We laughed and smiled as we walked to school together, almost forgetting.

Almost, the club meeting was different.

I was the first one to get there, again. Sayori is in no condition to come here today and Natsuki didn't show up at school today, making only Yuri and me.

But Natsuki always came back the next day, which scared me. She's just sick. She will come tomorrow. Everything's is okay...except nothing's okay.

~~What if Haru got to her first.~~

Yuri opens the door, catching my attention.

"Is Natsuki here?"

"...No."

She leans on the doorway, reliving her from some tension. "Ah~ Thank goodne-! Wait, what?!"

"She never came to school today. I'm getting scared..."

Yuri looks downcastly, thinking. "I never wanted to do this, but you gave me no choice," she whispers with an angry wisp in her voice.

I look up from my desk, confused. Yuri turns towards me, a stern look on her face.

"Monika, can you end the club meeting early today?" I slightly tilted my head, even more confused.

"Sure...but if you don't mind me asking, why?"

She laughs darkly, causing me to have goosebumps.

"We're breaking Natsuki out of that place!"

"Wait, what?!"

* * *

 

"Yuri what?!"

Sayori pouts concerningly at the whole situation unraveling around her. I, right next to her share her disagreement.

It's been a while since we got back home. Yuri was attempting to try to explain her plan while we both thought that she was crazy.

"I'm all in for saving Natsuki, but her dad's house is dangerous. He's so much stronger than all of us combined," I say. Sayori nods in agreement.

Yuri only grinned as she took a gun from her holster underneath her skirt. We both looked on baffled.

"I was never a gun person," she says slowly as she examined the black steel finish. "But my dad always said to carry a gun in case of emergencies. I guess this is one of them."

"B-But Yuri," I said, stuttering over my words from being baffles. "We can't just murder him. We will be convicted of manslaughter!"

Almost like she glazed over my sentence, she suddenly shoots a bullet in the ground. Sayori and I jump from not expecting this whole situation until we found something strange.

"Are these-"

"A tranquilizer gun! Yuri, you're so cool!"

"Eh-h?! They're n-nothing really! We don't e-even have to use them if y-you don't want to!"

As Yuri reverted back to her shy state yet again, I rethought the situation. Sneaking through Natsuki's house somewhere while one of us is on duty to watch her dad is safe enough, I think. We can carry guns if something goes wrong and we won't be in trouble since they're only non-lethal bullets.

So, why not?

"Do you guys have a ladder somewhere?"

Both of their eyes light up as they stopped whatever they were doing.

"...That means we're doing it?!"

"Monika..."

"Sure, I want to get Natsuki back too."

Yuri smiles, her eyes sparkling tremulously. "...thank you."

"Yay! this going to be so much fun!"

"Hey, you're not going out while you're still healing!"

"Moni, your so mean~"

Yuri goes to get a ladder from the garage. Sayori goes with, full of energy.

I sigh, the things I do.

I can feel the all too familiar feeling of anxiety rise up inside me again while I'm all alone, but an urge overpowers that tremendously. I remember Sayori saying something about this.

_"It feels like...a part of me is missing."_

A part of me missing? Is that what causes the urge I'm having, to be complete? I clutch my uniform jacket.

"It's...so strong."

A sequel of excitement makes me snap back to reality and I released my uniform. Sayori comes in with four walkie-talkies.

"I didn't know you had these!"

"Those are actually Yuri's," I chuckled.

Said girl walks in from the garage, wiping her brow from carrying the ladder. Sayori comes up to her, her eyes wide.

"Yuri, you're so cool! Tranquilizer guns, walkie-talkies! Where do you get these stuff?!"

"Um...my f-father was a high ranking cop. He used to s-show me this stuff from time to time. He left it here when he went on that business meeting."

Sayori eyes softened while she watched her speak.

"You had a cool father."

Yuri smiles too, ever so sweetly.

"You had cool parents too, they visited here more often."

I leaned over the couch's armrest and cupped my chin onto my palms. "Remember when Kashou used to come over sometimes? He made the biggest of messes~"

Sayori laughs lightly. "He was so hard to deal with sometimes, I was so exhausted by the end of the day!"

"But even so he was such a delight. Like you, Sayori."

"But even I am not that messy!"

I smiled, my friends are finally getting better. I'm so proud of them pushing through with everything that's happened in almost a week and a half.

And I would be proud of them for everything to come in the next.

* * *

 

"Is everything working?"

I tuned in my walkie-talkie, waiting for a response. I didn't need to worry because it came early.

"Roger, Doki Leader!"

"Goshthisisembarrassing. R-Roger, Doki Leader."

The latter voice I could hear in both the walkie-talkie and not too far away from me as she was fixing up the ladder.

"Come on Doki Protector! Have some fun!"

Doki Protector, Yuri, was flustered beyond belief at these names. I almost feel bad for Sayori to not see this.

"I think Doki Protector is going to faint with the amount of blood rushing into her face," I say, causing Sayori to giggle from the other side. "We shouldn't mess with her much Doki Base."

"Please... don't," I heard Yuri said. We both laugh.

Yuri finishes aligning the ladder to meet to the window and gives me a thumbs up. I give her my own back.

"Okay, we're doing this! Yuri's going to climb up the ladder and knock on Natsuki's window a few times. I'll be on the lookout for Natsuki's father while Yuri helps Natsuki. Is that clear?"

"Yes!"

"Yes."

"Alright, Mission Doki is a go!"

Yuri nods and starts to climb while I stay back, making sure the ladder doesn't fall. All is silent in this dark crazy wonderland, only the stars above watching us. Until...

_**Knock...** _

All three of us waited impatiently for an answer, a reply. Yuri fidgets on the ladder while I bit my lip and furrowed my brows. Sayori was quiet, which was unusual for her. Yuri quickly turns, causing the ladder to shake a little. I held it still and mouthed her to be careful.

"She's still sleeping," she whispers.

"Knock again."

She knocks again, a little hesitant this time. Again no reply.

" ~~Is she alright?~~ " Sayori asks, speaking with static. The talkies are dying.

"She's fine. Yuri, knock harder."

Yuri knocks hard and surprises herself, causing the ladder to sway again. I held it in place.

Yuri looks from above with a worried expression.

"Doki Le- Moni, she won't wake. What will we do?"

I sigh, clutching my jacket. What will we do? Natsuki won't wake so we couldn't get in. The talkies are dying so we don't have enough time. We might get in question with police. This whole thing is falling apart!

What about we-

No, that's crazy! We'll definitely get in trouble with the police then! But this urge...

...

..

.

I can't resist it.

"Break the window."

Yuri looks at me with fear and hesitation while Sayori screams from my talkie.

" ~~But~~ Moni-!"

"We have to! Nobody will expect a thing because Natsuki is from a bad neighborhood. Come on!"

Yuri furrows her brows and hisses through her teeth with hesitation before unzipping her jacket and pulling out the gun from her holster. We both have holsters underneath our jackets called hip holders with our guns, bullets, and talkies. The leather is kinda uncomfortable but this is a quick situation anyways.

"I must warn you, I had never broken a window before."

"It will be fine, just lean to the side a bit."

"Be careful!"

Yuri nods and takes a deep breath before leaning a little side and slamming her gun into the window.

The glass pieces littered to the ground with a shattering noise. I tried to avoid some of them, but eventually, some left cuts on my arms. I ignore them and look up at Yuri, who was cowering from the side. She opens her eyes and relaxes once she thinks it's over, smiling at me.

"I did it!"

" ~~Yay! Way~~ to go Doki Protector!"

"You did a great job Doki Protector!"

Yuri flushes and covers her face in her hands. "You guys reward me like this..."

"Come on, you have to admit it's cute."

"That's the problem. it's too cute that it's sickening."

"You're just too used to ~~horror books. You~~ have to get a little cutesy once in a while."

"Makeover~"

"No! I'm perfectly fine with what I look like now thank you very mu-!"

"Yuri what the fuck!"  
The faint voice of Natsuki.

Suddenly Yuri's face gets much more flustered as she starts apologizes profusely. The ladder starts to sway as Yuri bows and I have to hold it to keep it stable.

"Yuri be careful!"

Yuri, unable to function enough to form a sentence, nods.  
Like literally, there's steam rising from her head.

"Monika, you're here too?!" Natsuki peers down the window, naked by the way, looking at me in disbelief. I covered my eyes with my free arm.

"I have a girlfriend."

" ~~Damn right she does!~~ "

I heard Natsuki sigh from Yuri's talkie and went somewhere, not too far away from the number of footsteps I heard. I uncovered my eyes and looked at Yuri, who looked like she was going to explode.  
I wonder if she saw the full picture, being up there and all.  
It didn't help that she had a crush on her too.

...

Considering who Yuri is, I think she's dead.

Natsuki comes back in a white robe, tied together with some cheap gold plastic. She looks at Yuri, concerned that she was going to burst.

"Damn Yuri, you okay?"

"...Fine!" Yuri smiles dazedly as the reddish hue on her face turns magically redder. At least she's not dead.

" ~~Call her~~ Doki Protector," Sayori says, against the ever so building static. "It's cuter!" Natsuki and I snort.

"You guys...are horrible," Yuri says at last, trying to cover her face with her hair. "Just get up here."

"Roger Doki Protector!"

Yuri gets off and I got on, climbing the slightly unstable ladder. I sighed as I on new ground, considering nobody was holding it.

We all just stood there silently, now not knowing what else to do...

..

...

"Moni no."

...

..

 

And then I tackled hugged Natsuki.

"Moni yes!"

"H-Hey! I'm only wearing a robe here! I thought you said you had a girlfriend!"

"That doesn't mean I can't hug my best friend~ You were gone for a day and a half!"

" ~~Aw~~ , Natsuki you sound so cute! ~~I wish I~~ could see you now!"

"Shut up, both of you! It's not like I wanted to see you guys anyways."

"Awh Natsuki!"  
" ~~Awh~~ Natsuki!"

"Forget what I said! Moni, get off me!"

Meanwhile, Yuri sits, too overwhelmed of what she just saw.

Realizing we have a bit of spare time on her hands I got off Natsuki and tried to fix Sayori's static problem.

I heard the other's fine since I'm right next to Natsuki and Yuri, but Sayori's a different problem. Our batteries are dying and static is bound to happen until it completely shuts off, but there should be a way to prevent it for a while.

I _would_ talk to Yuri about this, but she's _busy_ thinking of _other things_.  
I looked over to Yuri for a second and instantly felt bad for the taller girl. It looks like that blush was permanent marker.

"Doki Leader, are you messing ~~with the talkies~~?"  
Natsuki tries to muffle her laughter.

"Only mine, trying to fix this static thing for a bit."

"Low ~~battery? We should have charged~~ these things before you ~~guys went out. Mine's on a charger right~~ now, but yo ~~ur static might get worse~~."

I sigh, putting the talkie back in my holster, leaving it be. Turning to Natsuki, who was done having her laughing fit, and asked her why she only has a robe on.

Her smile disappears as she averts her eyes, pulling on her robe. I began thinking that this was a bad question.

"Sorry, it was a-"

"It was the only thing I could wear."

"...What?"

Natsuki faces me again, her face full of despair. "Papa locked me up here because he found out about me sneaking out every day. I had less respect and love I had before, somehow. I-I'm lucky you got me out before something bad happened, so thank you."

I held my breath, clutching my jacket once again.  
"Did he did it again?"

Natsuki's grip on her robe got tighter as she looks up, tears in eyes. She answers quietly, almost inaudible.

"...He didn't even use a condom."

The whole room goes silent.

Natsuki blushes a bit, rubbing her eyes.

"Natsuki..."

"Are you ~~saying you might~~ be..."

"Pregan-?"

"Might! There's still a chance I am not." She huffs, trying to pull off her signature retort, but I could tell she was scared from the way her voice wobbles. "This isn't the place I would like to have this conversation anyway. Let's leave."

"Y-Yeah, where's that ladder," Yuri awkwardly says, beginning to standing up and climb out. She looks out the broken window and freezes."H-Hey Moni, did you p-put the ladder somewhere when you came up here?"

I look at Yuri confused before running to the window, only to see that the ladder fell down because of the wind.

"It fell."

"Shit."

" ~~Eh? Do you guys want me to come up there?~~ "

"No, it's okay."

"What do you mean 'it's okay'? My door is locked!"

"We can't just fall and hope for the best either. It's a high drop."

I thought for a second before having an idea. "Hey Yuri, give me your knife."

"Wait you guys have knives?!"

"For emergencies only. And this is one, right Yuri?"

Yuri nods, handing over her knife. It was only a pocket knife, but it will do.

"Everyone stand back!"

" ~~Monika be careful!~~ "

"Does anyone have a second idea?"

"I hope you guys know what the hell you are getting into!"

"Three! Two! One!"

All at once, all three of us yelled out, "New mission Doki Doki is a go!"

"Wait what the hell is a Doki?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, what do you guys think of the summaries I make? I love to hear what you have to say for them!
> 
> Also, the last chapter hit 20,000 words! Here's to 20,000 more!


	13. 11*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wednesday, October 7, 2017
> 
> Loyalty.  
> A delicate thing that has to be handled with trust.  
> A powerful thing that has tremendous power.  
> A special thing that Monika appreciates she has.  
> And a treasure that she will never let go.
> 
> *-Warning! Not for the faint of heart!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Over 1,000 hits and 50 kudos! Wow, thanks! (Catch the reference and I'll give you a cookie)
> 
> No really thank you for all the support! It makes me very happy seeing that people enjoy reading my fics!

**_Implied sexual references and violence! There's not that much, but still! Don't read if your sensitive to that stuff._ **

* * *

 

I gave the knife back to Yuri after cutting down the door. It was hard, considering it was a wooden door against a pocket knife, but somehow it worked. I finished the damage by kicking the door down, leaving a clear passageway.

I lead the group into the quiet hallway. The lights were off and the only sound that could be heard was the sound of our footsteps. I took a deep breath as I peered down the stairs.

I could only see part of him but knew he was disappointingly very ~~alive~~ awake. I furrowed my brow, thinking what to do. I turned back to the two expectant girls.

"He's still awake."

Natsuki curses underneath her breath, rolling her eyes. Yuri gets ready to grab her gun, but I stop her.

"Let me."

Yuri's eyes widen in fear. "You can't face him alone Monika!"

"But I'm not facing him, only patrolling," I smirk. "I'll call you when he's gone."

"But-!"

Natsuki turns Yuri around, her face stern. "No time for buts Yuri! I think there's a room somewhere up here." She grabs Yuri's arm and runs to another room, leaving me alone. It wasn't long until I heard Yuri's voice, static and all, through my talkie.

" ~~I'll never listen to you again after this~~."

I chuckled silently and slowly creep down the stairs. The floorboards cried and trembled at my weight, making me more nervous. After I got off the stairs I fumbled with my gun and loaded it with a bullet.

I hid from his general sense of sight, trying to spy on him from my point of view. The sour smell of alcohol began tugging at my nose and tiredness sits on my eyes, but I push through.

" ~~Is there any activity?~~ " Sayori asks. Her voice is getting distorted by this point.

"Not yet," I whisper, keeping a keen eye at my target.

I heard shuffling from Yuri's talkie, and automatically knew Natsuki got to it." ~~Why can't we just shoot the guy and get it over with? Those are non-lethal, right?~~ "

"I don't want to shoot him for no reason! It would be great if he didn't know that we were here at all."

" ~~I kinda agree with Monika. We don't need any attention~~ ," Yuri says, taking control of her talkie again.

" ~~You just don't like any attention~~ ," Natsuki snaps back and Sayori warns them not to fight.

" ~~We are having a miss-~~ "

Loud beeping erupts from the talkie and all three voices were gone. I tried frantically to get in contact with them again, but no one responded. I sigh, putting the talkie back in my holster. I'd have to go alone from here. Surely, it won't be hard, it's a small mission, right? Right?!

After putting the talkie back I saw that he was gone. I would warn Natsuki and Yuri, but the talkie is dead. I tense, looking around before freezing. Did I have that big of a shadow before?

"Look what we have here."

I screamed.

The shadow scoops me up from my waist and presses his body against mine. I kicked for an attempt to be free.

"Natsuki's friend, right? I expected you guys to do this, after all, she's been visiting you guys for the past few months. But not so soon..."

Before I could reach my gun, he takes it and throws it aside, leaving it to glimmer in the moonlight. My only hope...

He places his mouth near my ear and I could hear his lustful breathing. I try to push him away but he has an iron grip on me. I stayed there struggling for who knows long until I slowly gave out, trying to regain my breath.

"What...do you want from me."

"I looked you up on the school's website. Pretty cute. So, I'll make you a deal."

"You're sick," I retorted. He slips his hand underneath my pants, grabbing my underwear. I freeze. Is he..?

"I'll make you a deal, little lady. You stay here and I'll let the others go or you resist and I'll kill you all."

"That's a threat!"

His hand goes deeper in my pants and I freeze once again. I gave out a quieter yelp when I felt something that wasn't supposed to be there.

"So, what do you say, little lady? Up to my deal?"

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

"No fucking way."

He turns me a bit too forcefully so I can be facing him. His arm still has a grip on my waist.

"What was that little bitch?"

I took a deep breath and looked him into the eyes.

"I said, I have a girlfriend!!"

I kicked his right leg and he loses balance, making me able to escape from his grip and hastily grab my gun. Before I could shoot he gets up and smacks the gun from my hands and kicks it to the opposite side of me.

Deciding to forget the gun, I run to the kitchen to get shelter. There were no doors in the kitchen unfortunately but there were knives. I'm still under my no manslaughter rule but I could still threaten him, right?

"I am Sayori's and only Sayori's. You have no right to dictate our relationship to please yourself like that. I will never, ever, let you fucking touch me!"

I wave the knife in front of him but he wasn't affected. He was like a zombie running after brains and nothing could distract him. Passion burns in my eyes as I readied myself.

Jail-time here I co-!

"Oh, Yuri!"

We both stop what we were doing and glanced at the stairs, where Yuri and Natsuki were currently was. Wait, are they really-

"N-Natsuki I love you so much~"

"Love me harder~"

 

 

 

Oh.

 

 

 

As I looked dumbfounded, Natsuki's father angrily stormed out of the kitchen at up the stairs. I ran after him, trying to hold him back but he easily pushed me away. I grabbed my gun and still ran up the stairs, preparing to shoot him right there. But before I could make it he slammed open their door...

"Yuri, now!"

Yuri shoots Natsuki's father three times in the chest. He looks on in disbelief before fall down and faints.

We all took a moment to catch our breath to wear down the adrenalin. After Yuri stares at me and I could see the doubt in her eyes.

"I'll never listen to you again."

I nervously held the back of my neck. "That's fair."

Natsuki comes over and smirks. "Also we heard all of that stuff about Sayori. You're pretty loyal."

I felt a slight reddish hue on my cheeks. "Yeah, that's what expected of a girlfriend, after all."

Natsuki snorts at my slight embarrassment. "By the way, were you guys actually having sex or-!"

"N-Nope! It was just a d-diversion so we could a-attack! O-Only attacking! Right, Natsuki?"

Natsuki rolls her eyes, ignoring her own blush. "Sure. Just don't get the wrong idea, you hear me?!"

We gave out short-lived chuckles before looking at the tranquilized man on the floor in disgust.

"...do we have to?"

"Yes, we do. We need to make as little suspension as possible."

Natsuki and I sigh, not wanting to move him. To our delight, the doorbell rung before we could do all that.

But to our despair, it might be a person in the neighboorhood wondering what was going on or better yet, the police!

"...great."

"Natsuki, go."

"Monika are you high?! I'm only in a robe! Make Yuri go instead."

"B-But it will be suspicious since Natsuki was moaning my name a minute ago."

Natsuki flushes as she glares at Yuri to watch her mouth.

The two stare at me as the only option. I sigh.  
"I'll go."

The walked down the stairs for the second time. It didn't feel as serious as the first time, but I could still feel that familiar pit of anxiety.  
And we were so close too.

I bit my lip as I put my hand over the knob, knowing it's the only option but I am still is reluctant.  
We could get through Natsuki's Papa then we could get through whatever this is.

"Hello! I'm sorry for the-!"

A blur rushes to embraces me.

"Moni! I was so scared to death because you wouldn't respond with your talkie and your text messages I thought you were hurt or killed are you hurt I will kill the man if he ever touched a hand on you and I know you didn't want me to run but I was so scared so please forgive me!"

"Sayori everything is fine, the talkies just died."  
I'm lying through my teeth.

"Thank goodness! I was so worried!"  
I could feel Natsuki's and Yuri's disapproving gazes behind me.

Sayori looks up from our embrace and runs towards Natsuki, almost tackling her.

"I missed you so much!"

"Hey, Hey, I missed you too but don't try to kill me!"

Sayori giggles and gets off Natsuki and hugs Yuri. The said girl head pets her.

"Don't think I have forgotten about you Doki Protector!"

"Please don't."

Yuri flushes again (I don't know how she could flush too many times without dying) and hides her face with her hair. Sayori giggles, satisfied with her hug.

"What did you guys do? I missed almost everything," she whines. I look away nervously, unconsciously tugging my pants up.

"He just found us before we could leave, so we just used the guns."

"That's so cool! He had no idea what was coming for him!"  
Neither did we, but that's a story for another time.

I shut the door as Yuri goes upstairs, dragging Natsuki up with her. I groan before going upstairs myself, a bubbly Sayori behind me.

"Why can't we just leave him there?"  
At least Sayori didn't ask why he's upstairs rather than downstairs.

Natuski sighs deeply. "That was what I've been saying!"

"Little to no suspicion," Yuri says nonchalantly. "Now help me lift him."

Yuri and I lift the right side of him while Natsuki and Sayori lift the left. He was heavy, yes, but there was four of us.

We carried him down the stairs and onto his couch where the small television still plays. Beer bottles scatter the floor and given to the fact that he was drunk, makes no suspicion if we set him down here.

Yuri takes the three bullets that were sticking out of his body by their tails. "And we're done here. Great mission everyone!"

Sayori and I cheer while Natsuki looks on in confusion before shrugging and getting ready to go.

"Are you sure it's cool for me to just wear a robe?"

"It's night anyway, nobody will see it."

"We can have a shopping spree tomorrow!"

Natsuki looks down at her cheap robe and to us, flushing a bit. "I never needed any fine clothes but since all my other clothes were thrown away..."

"I already have so many options~ You are going to be so dolled up!"

"Hey! I'm only going because I need clothes! I don't need to be 'dolled up'."

We went out of the house silently looking at the sky. Natsuki and Sayori still planned about the shopping spree while Yuri and I trailed behind.

"How did you came up with it," I whispered. Yuri looks at me, confused. "The distraction." 

"O-Oh." Yuri flushes, thinking. "Well, Natsuki said her dad loved sex, mainly with her. So I thought if we pretended to..." 

* * *

 

_A scream caught the attention of the two girls staying inside a locked room, more specifically Monika's. Natsuki almost immediately grabs the doorknob, but Yuri grabs her arm almost pleadingly._

_"You're weaponless."_

_"Who cares! Monika's in trouble. We can think of something later."_

_Her grip on the smaller girl's arm didn't lessen and the girl sighs, thinking._

_"Is there something we can do distract him. So he could come up here so I can shoot him."_

_"No, not really. Especially if he's doing what I think he's doing."_

_"And what's that?"_

_"I said, I have a girlfriend!!" Monika screams once again, but more passionate. Natsuki smiles to herself, feeling more at ease that her friend has the situation in control for a while. Not like she'll ever admit it._

_Meanwhile, Yuri thinks up a storm, trying to think of a plan. However, when she does, she flushes. It's quite lewd and requires "lots of moaning" and she wants to stay classy, especially in front of her crush._

_But her best friend is about to get raped on the floor beneath her. She needs to choose, and quickly._

_..._

_Yuri bits her lip, wondering why it's so hard._

_"Do you have something?" Natsuki says, noticing her fidgeting._

_"W-What if we pretended to..."_

_Natsuki gave out a short hum of questioning, raising an eyebrow. Yuri's head sinks lower fearing if she looked up, she'll faint of embarrsedment...and cuteness._

_Yuri frantically grasps the collar of the black leather jacket she had, practically forcing the words out. Even then, they came out almost mute. "Have...sex?"_

_Natsuki face heats up, not expecting Yuri to even think of something like that. She wanted to reject it as soon as the words slipped out, but something stopped her._

  
_"I am Sayori's and only Sayori's. You have no right to dictate our relationship to please yourself like that. I will never, ever, let you fucking touch me!"_  
  


_Probably the fear or her best friend getting raped and this was the only idea they can think of before it's too late but who knows?_

_Both girls could tell that Monika was in trouble and telling by she was talking about Sayori, she's on her last limb._

_The two girls looked at each other in vain for...something._

_"F-Fine, just don't get the wrong idea."_

_Yuri looks up suddenly as if she was surprised she thought about doing her idea but the yells from downstairs made her realize the situation she was in as she grabs and loads her gun._

_"R-Ri-Right. P-Please, go first."_

_Natsuki smirks and Yuri's blush gets a little bit darker._

* * *

 

"Oh, that's why you were studdering."

"I was nervous, okay?"

I laughed, elbowing her slightly. "You saw her naked and pretended to have sex with her. Congrats, Yuri, you're on the right track."

Yuri smiles slightly, overwhelmed with her thoughts and darkening blush. "Thanks?"

"You're welcome!"

We four walked the rest of the distance talking about the mission, avoiding the more sensitive parts. We were all relatively happy completing our little mission and getting Natsuki back, smiling and laughing the entire way. However, smiling and laughing could be exhausting and we were all tired by the time we came home.

"Today's been exhausting," I sighed, sinking into the couch in the living room. Sayori plops down in my lap, sighing from the relief from getting off her legs.

"To be honest, the last two days been exhausting," she chimes in, hugging her knees.

"It's time for a worry-free sleep," Natsuki says from our right, cuddling one of her pillows. She must've gone upstairs undetected for a few moments.  
The whole room agreed, well almost the whole group.

Yuri was still by the door, staring at the stars. The door was opened and a gush of wind roams through. Her face looks sad if it wasn't for the smile on her face.

"Yuri are you okay?"  
Yuri turns and her smile got brighter for a second before getting unreadable by her blush.  
"I'm doing great." She was about to close the door before she jumps slightly in remembrance, looking uneasy. "Didn't we had a ladder?"

We all groan, knowing where she is going with this.  
"...do we have to?"

"Little to no suspicion."  
We groan again but reluctantly left from our warm home for yet another adventure.

* * *

 Sayori holds up a dress, a glistening white top with a light pink skirt. Natsuki looks skeptical.

"Oh, this would look so cute on you!"

"Maybe...? I don't usually wear this kind of stuff- Hey!! What did I tell you about calling me cute!"

"Don't worry, I'm sure you'll like it!" Sayori hums sweetly, completely ignoring her other comment. Natsuki still looks hesitant but grabs the hanger that has the dress on it.

We were at our local shopping center, buying clothes for Natsuki. We skipped school today just for this, but I can't help but have that nagging unrealistic fear in the back of my mind.

Natsuki currently has on Sayori's clothes seeing that they're similar in size. Their not her style exactly, but she thinks their decent.

"Fine," she mumbles. "I'm going to the dresser room."

"Okay!" Natsuki disappears and I come behind Sayori, holding my own pick of a shirt and sweater, looking at the dresser room with unease.

"She'll be a bit flustered and mad at you when she gets done. You know that, right?"

"I'm prepared Moni! It's for Yuri's sake after all!"

"Yuri-? Oh. I thought we kept that a secret."

"I knew since yesterday! Even though the talkie, I could tell she was very flustered. Plus if I could tell about your crush on me then I could definitely tell her's on Natsuki."

I slightly felt my cheeks get hotter. "Just don't rat out Yuri. She really wants to keep this a secret from Natsuki."

Sayori nods and squeezes my hand, making her blush slightly too. We were new to public affection anyways.

Natsuki stumbles out, trying to cover herself as much as possible with fail. She looks at herself, flustered before glaring daggers at Sayori. Sayori instead gushed.

"You look so cute! Just like a little muffin."

Natsuki heats up more, frowning. "It's not- Just I-people are looking..."

Natsuki shrinks and Sayori jumps to help her friend. "No, it's okay. You look very pretty, right, Moni?"

I nod and Natsuki gets flustered but smiles slightly. "It's just something I don't normally wear, but thanks anyway."

We all knew she was lying but smiled anyway.

Natsuki hated people looking at her when's she's pretty like this, mostly from her papa.  
The most she'll ever do is wear skirts, but she's improving.

"You can take it off if you're not uncomfortable..."

"No, I actually like this. I'm going to totally rock this at home."

She went to a nearby mirror and twirled slightly and Sayori grins and compliments her. I wanted to join in but realized Yuri wasn't here. I've could have sworn she was here a seconds ago.

"I'm going somewhere," I say to the now bickering two. They waved me off.

The shop we were in was fairly big, but it was quite easy to spot Yuri's long purple hair.  
Except I didn't see Yuri's hair.

I searched the shop for the purple haired girl for 10 minutes or so before stumbling into the dressing room, thinking she might have bought some things for herself. However, I didn't see her and turned to leave.

"Moni?"

And froze.

"Yuri?"

A dressing room door clicked and suddenly Yuri was standing there, flustered and uncomfortable. She steps out, a shadow casted over her eyes.

"You okay?"

Yuri frowns slightly, looking at me. "I think...I almost died."

We look at each other in confused silence before Yuri explains herself, flustered and studdering.

"W-When I looked at Natsuki in that dress, I felt as like my heart stopped. She looked so beautiful! E-Even to the point that I had some...unladylike thoughts." She looked away as if she was admitting some terrible secret. "I think I'm fine now."

I blankly stared at her, before laughing my ass off, not even caring to muffle them.  
Either it was Yuri's figure or how mature and adult she was, but it never struck me for Yuri to never have a crush before.  
She doesn't even know the types of thoughts she will get having a crush. She's in for a wild time.

"Yuri...th-those are normal. They just show you're more interested in the person," I say. Yuri's face blanks before she laughs with me and the whole dressing room shakes! (Well until an employee yelled at us to keep it down.)

"...I-I thought you know this stuff, Yuri," I say, regaining my breath.

"To be honest...I'm not a huge fan of the romance genre."

Yuri regains her breath, cupping her cheek. Her blush has toned down a bit but is still clearly soon on her face.

"Hey."

"Hmm?"

"Did you did that for me? Give Natsuki that dress?"

"Actually Sayori did." Yuri jumps in surprise as her blush gets darker. "Don't worry she'll won't tell anyone."

Yuri relaxes, putting her hand over her heart before grabbing my arm and pushing me into the dressing room.

"I'll thank her...later. For now, we are going to have some fun!"

"Yuri, what are you doing?"

"Just letting you test on clothes. Now you see, there are three different dresses. I hope I picked out your style."

"...You are trying to get us back, are you."

Yuri's voice sneers dramatically. "You don't know **_the pain_** I have dealt with for the past two days! 'Doki Protector" and now this! You guys need to atone in your actions."

I recoil in fake horror. "Oh Yuri, how _**dare**_ you!"

"Just a friendly payback~ Now get picking!"

After a while, I picked the third one Yuri picked; a simple green dress with a large leather black belt around the waist. It's too short to my liking, but it won't cause a scene.

I opened the door to see that Yuri was waiting on the other the side of the wall. She looks at me and smiles.

"You look pretty Moni!"

"Thanks! I'm thinking of actually buying it, you did a great job picking out my style."

I stared at my reflection in the dressing room again and smile slightly. It feels different, seeing I don't normally wear stuff like this...but pretty.

It feels weird, seeing that I only wear a shirt and some skirt...but pretty.

It feels familiar, seeing the last time I wore a dress like this was two years ago leaving for California...but pretty.

I felt pretty, for the first time in a long time.

"Pretty..."

I left the word lingering in the air for a while, admiring my new look. It felt amazing and familiar. I never felt this in two years and even before that my parents were forcing me to be pretty, but it didn't achieve the same effect. It felt nice to finally feel pretty again.

I quickly blinked away tears to avoid spending too much time being sad.

I turned to Yuri, who became startled when I turned to her and smiled softly.

I want her to feel pretty too. 

* * *

Yuri and I look in the dresser's room mirror, dumbfounded.

"...How did I get talked into this."

"By me saying, 'It would be fun'."

Yuri flushes, looking at her dress. She had on a long white dress with purple butterflies slowly populating from the right side until there was no speck of white on the bottom.

She also had on a simple copper floral headband that the employees said naturally goes with the outfit. And because I wanted Yuri to have fun, I pinned Yuri's hair up in a braided updo. All the look needed to be was some makeup, but we needed to buy it first, and that will spoil our cover.

"...But I can't admit that I don't like it."

"That's the spirit!"

I smiled at myself. I still had the dress Yuri picked for me on but have on a necklace that had one simple gold flower.

It was a Rose Mallow, the one's Auntie used to plant.

My hair was in a french twist braid which was very convenient since it was like a ponytail, but braided. My large white bow stayed where it always was.

I smiled at myself, before frowning at my appearance, catching Yuri's attention.

"What's wrong?"

"I haven't gotten any texts since we were in here. Something's going on."

After the sentence made itself clear in the crisp air, I started to panic. What going on? We were in here for thirty minutes and I was gone looking for Yuri sometime before that there's have to be some explanation why won't they text me something's wrong something's wrong something's wrong--

Yuri squeezes my hand lightly, frowning. "You were hyperventilating."

"Sorry."

Yuri sighs before pulling me out of the dresser's room, her eyes quickly searching for the others. I took some deep breathes, composing myself before looking out myself.

The two was nowhere to be seen.

I felt anxiety bubble up inside me but took some deep breathes to keep it down. Surely they aren't that far, just off to another store. I quickly pulled out my phone and text Sayori's number. 

* * *

 

_ <3 Sayobae <3 _

_Moni: Hey where are you we can't see you_

_Sayo: Oh hey Moni!_

_Sayo: To be honest we were looking for you too but stopped when we heard giggling from the dressing room_

_Sayo: We thought you two were having fun, so we went to the other stores!_

_Sayo: We are coming back anyway, wait there._

_Moni: Okay! Waiting by the dressing rooms!_

* * *

I breathed a sigh of relief as Sayori replied almost instantly. I can't believe that I almost thought they were missing.

"Sayori said she'll be right here," I say, putting my phone away. I took some more deep breaths, relieved that the situation is over. "I can't wait for Natsuki to react to...'that'."

Yuri turns and flushes, trying to cover her blush with her hands since her hair is currently not an option. "W-We kind of overdid it. They will probably faint from the amount of blood rushing into their heads."

I chuckled and Yuri smiles slightly.

"I mean, we look like we are attending a wedding."

We both laugh at that, trying to muffle our sudden outbursts with clamping our hands to our mouths.

"Heeeeeeeyyyyy!"

We look up to see Sayori running up to us, Natsuki following suit. To our surprise, she had on a dress too. A short white dress with red polka dots scattered randomly. She also had red hearts earrings while Natsuki had her's in pink. She finally stops, cupping her face with her palms complete awe.

"Moni you look so pretty!"

I flushed slightly, averting my eyes. "Y-You too."

She smiles, emitting a giggle or two. "Moni, there's no need to be flustered. Your acting like Yuri!"

She points to Yuri, who is currently flushing twice as darker the normal color.

"S-Sorry, it was just you look so beautiful."

Now it was Sayori's turn to get flustered as she chuckled awkwardly. "Monika you're too kind."

"I'm telling the truth."

We stayed flushing for a while, not really used to stuff like this. I guess this is what Yuri wanted as payback.

"By the way, where did you get those earrings?"

Sayori suddenly perks up, her flush magically decreasing. "There was this place that did ear piercings for free! Natsuki and I had matching earrings there!" She gasps, her sapphire eyes shining. "We should all get matching earrings! It would be super cute!"

"That would be fun," I say, smiling. However, with a quick glance at my side, figured that it would take awhile.

Natsuki and Yuri were looking at each other dumbfounded, their flushes almost blinding.

Sayori seemed to get it to, muttering a simple "oh." I nudge Yuri with my elbow, shotting her a look. She perks up after a while.

"I-I-I like your o-outfit, Natsuki."

Natsuki frowns, acting like she wasn't just staring at Yuri's outfit. "You're decent."

Yuri smiles slightly as if she was actually flattered by the compliment. Their conversation awkwardly drifted off and Sayori and I look at each other worryingly.

"Well, um, do you guys want to go to this ear piercings shop? They give ear piercings for free there, right Natsuki?"

Natsuki hums in agreement, showing off her pink heart.

"W-Well me and Monika still had to pay for our outfits, s-so you guys can get the bags and go ahead."

Sayori nods, taking the still slightly dazed Natsuki by the hand and rushing out of the door. Not much later Sayori texted me. 

* * *

 

_< 3 Sayobae <3_

_Sayo: Awh they look so cute together <3_

_Sayo: {Photo}_

_Moni: How did you even get a photo of them together?_

_Sayo: Magic_

* * *

 

I look at the earrings sitting on my dresser five hours later. They were small green hearts. Yuri ended up getting purple hearts for herself too. The piercing progress wasn't that painful and we all actually had lots of fun, except for the awkward conversations with Yuri and Natsuki.

Who knew that today would be so fun, even with yesterday.

I sigh, closing my eyes to remember it all. It's been a doozy, but with Friday coming around the corner we could all finally rest.

A buzz on my phone interrupts me, causing me to open my eyes and grab for it. I blinked, trying to clear the already fuzziness of sleep out of my mind. How weird, I don't remember setting a reminder.

I swiped open the reminder, reading the contents and held my breath, trying not to groan with frustration.

 

_**Reminder: Four Days Till Departure** _

 

 

 

 


	14. Meeting #3*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "A poem is never actually finished,  
>  it just stops moving."
> 
>  
> 
> -
> 
>  
> 
> _Friday, October 9th, 2017_
> 
> _*Not for the faint of heart!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eeeee not really fond of this one, even though I really enjoyed making it. I was very busy doing other stuff so that's probably why. lol

**_References to drugs and drinking! Also, lots of violence and gory stuff Don't read if your sensitive to any of those things_**. 

* * *

 

 

The girl quickly gets ready for yet another Friday. Another day dressing up in black. Another day filled with worry. Another day not even knowing if she will come back.

She wants it to end.  
Oh god, she pleads for it to end.  
But there's still a possibility...

These meetings are killing her, physically and mentally. She loses most of her money and barely has an income with occasionally buying stuff for her friends. She doesn't want them to worry. She can do the worrying for them herself.

She tugs on her hood, covering almost all of her face with shadows. Someone has to take a risk, that meaning herself. She needs to redeem herself from just being too weak. She's pushing herself. She knows if the days won't end, her sanity will. She's pretty sure that he knows that too.

She sits on the window, about to climb down, when she sees a shimmer in the moonlight. The gun she had on that 'mission'. She stares at the vacant gun, thinking. There was only one bullet loaded in the gun and it was too risky to get more. However, she could finally make this terrible cycle end peacefully.

She wanted that more than anything.

She grabs the gun and silently slips out the window, eventually falling to the soft gentle grass. 

* * *

 

 She sits uncomfortably on the grass at their meeting place. It's late. It's too late. She had never seen him late to one of their meetings. They were both on time and ready to do whatever they had to do as quickly as possible.

She felt goosebumps along her skin as she shrivers into her sweater, trying to warm herself. The wind, however, brushes against her body, making the sweater useless.

She looks up at the moon, hoping that this situation can dismiss itself so she can just go home. But it never did.

She stayed shivering outside for who knows how long, wishing and hoping that this will end. That she doesn't have to use the gun in her pocket and the phone in her hand. Even after everything. The murders. The shooting. The mistrust. She still believes that her best friend could change for the better!

...

Even if that belief is growing thinner each day. Even if she just declared that she was his slave last week. Even if he robs her out of money every single week and makes her life a living h--

She jumps when she sees a larger shadow in front of her before relaxes when she knows who it is.

"Are you okay, Haru?"

The boy, Haru, merely nods and walks to sit in front of the girl, shocking her. He sighs, pulling out his gun.

"I'm too tired for this," he says, almost slurring. "Come on, let's go."

The girl frowns, grabbing a fist full of dirt out of anticipation. She had already put her gun in a secure place a while ago. All she had to do is to act normal.

She gets a little closer to him, her eyes gazing over every part of his body. The moment she detects anything wrong with him, she will put him at gunpoint and call the police. Yes...that was the plan.

"Did anyone see you do this."  
"No."  
"Did you lie about the amount."  
"No."  
"Do you have a weapon."  
"No."

A tense silence grew between the two. The girl almost considered just running for it before Haru sighs deeply again.  
He looks up, completely devoid of life. White rings wrap around his brown pupils. His body slightly shaking.

"Hey," he whispers, his voice hoarse.  
The girl snaps to reality to the gentle sound of his voice, so familiar but weird. He hasn't talked to her like this in...forever. She looks into his eyes and immediately knows why. She backs away instantly.  
"Haru, what--"

He cocks his gun and she shuts up.  
"I didn't ask for your opinion."

The girl turns away, hurt. "Sorry."

He looks at her disgusted before laying down in the grass.

"Life is short, did you know that?"

The girl nods her head, biting her lip. This is weird. Why is he being so laid back with her?

"But with happiness and joy, it could be fulfilling, right?" The girls nod again, thinking about her own experiences with the girls.

Haru gets up again, boring his brown eyes with her's. Silence fills the area again.

"Do you think how fucked up life is without any of those things."

The girl's eyes widen as she tries to console him. He groans at her sympathy.

"Stop it, your annoying."

"Haru your--"

"High? Yes. It's your fault, dumbass."

The girl opens her mouth to speak but decided against it. Haru's gaze is the same, numb and lifeless. It was a gaze she wore for a long time.

"I was emotionless for a long time. Not caring about joy or pain. I always thought of taking my own life because it was useless. Until I met her, Monika."

The girl tenses at the mention the girl's name as she took another shaky step back. Her gun was so close.

"Monika showed me the light in the world and my first emotion, love. It felt so amazing, to be able to feel anything. So when she broke up with me..." Haru's emotionless gaze turned into a wicked smile. The girl backs away once more, studdering a reply.

"T-There was no need for you to shoot up the school though! We could have helped you!"

"Your no help to me. Coke does just great."

"It's not--"

Haru stands up suddenly, causing the girl to stumble into a tree.

"Life is fulfilled with happiness and joy. These 'meetings' aren't one of them." He brings the gun to her head, smiling that same wicked smile. The girl's eyes widen.

"Let's end this, then."

"W-Whats going on?"

This wasn't what she wanted at all!

She dodges the first bullet as she stands up to face him. "Haru, your high."

Haru ignores her, frowning slightly. "When she declined my confession, it brought up a new emotion, anger. Do you know how I dealt with this anger?"

"...H-Haru don't."

She dodges yet another bullet as she stares at him, pleading. Unforntantly, she doesn't mean anything to him. She could rot in hell for all he cares.

"Murdering all who took her away from me."

Haru aims bullets at her feet, making her dance. She dodges them barely.

"Haru," she pleads desperately. "This isn't healthy! None of this is!"

Haru thinks about something as stops his merciless punishment on her for a moment. The girl perks up, the tiniest glint of hope in her eyes.

"I bankrupt you. I murdered your family. I am about to murder you. And yet...you still stupidly think I have a chance to...'redeem' myself. Why is that?"

The girl stared on in wide-eyed shock. Wait, why is she doing this? Pleading to save him. Letting him emotionally drain her. There should be no logical explanation.

 

 

 

 

And yet...there is.

 

 

 

She looks him in his white ringed eyes.

"Do you remember a couple of months ago?" She whispers after a tense silence. "We were all smiling and happy, all five of us! For you to just...turn into who you are now...isn't real. It can't be real!" She studders as warm bitter tears washed over her face. "I-I'm doing this for not only the girls, but also for you. I can't just sit here as you lose control by your own demon! Did you forget that I also have my own demon too! We can face them together!!" She tries to catch her breath as she crumbles underneath his gaze. "You...You're also my friend, Haru! D-Did you forget that?! So please..!"

  
"Please...be my friend again."

Haru looks on disinterested as the girl quietly wept.

"You don't get it, do you? I'm emotionless. Barren. Empty. The only reason why I became your friend was that I needed to act normal. Now I only need Monika." He shoved her into another nearby tree and her cries only could be heard as a whimpers.

 

"Get over it, Sayori."

 

The still dazed girl, Sayori, dunks just in time for another bullet to miss her skull. Instead, it brushed over her hood, making it fall limply to her shoulders. Her coral hair shines in the moonlight.

She wipes her eyes and quickly hid from him behind yet another tree, thinking for any plan. But she was still dazed and his words stumbled into her head again. Tears threatened to fall from her eyes again as she realizes the truth. She was friendless until the literature club, and she didn't even know it. Her very first friend was a lie... 

Her very first friend was a lie.

Her very first friend was a fucking lie.

Sayori wondered what else was a lie. Her other friends. Her family. Her life. What's stopping her from just stepping out there and letting herself get shot?

Suddenly, a bullet hit the side of the tree she was standing behind of. A few wood splinters plunged themselves into her skin, but thankfully not the bullet itself. Still, the feeling of splinters in her face and warm sticky blood running down her face wasn't pleasant. She thought to run and find her gun before thinking about any more dark things.

She hid it in the dirt near the tree Haru was currently standing by. Getting close was assisted suicide (which if she very thinks about it wasn't really bad idea, but she realizes that her friends are waiting for her and suddenly wants to prolong her death just a bit) so she runs far into the woods as possible to have cell phone connection.

Haru surprisingly takes his time and walks, causing Sayori to have a lead.

She runs for a good while and hides in a nearby shrub, pulling out her new cell phone. It was almost identically to her old one because she went to the mall last Saturday to get it completely customized. To the last 'Doki'. She even had her old phone number transferred to this one if others got suspicious if she had a different number.

She goes to her contacts and frantically tries to find anyone who lives here. Monika was, unfortunately, the first one and she decided to just to keep her voice down. It wasn't like she had anyone else.

Sayori wipes her tears and pretends to act like she wasn't crying earlier.

Monika responded by the second ring. Despite her overworking problems, she was actually a very deep sleeper. She deserved that sleep too, so Sayori normally wouldn't bother her. Except this was anything but normal.

"Mmm... Why are you awake, Sayo?" Monika eventually says, drowsy out of her mind.

"Hehe, sorry! I was just not tired."

Monika lets out another yawn before composing herself from over the phone. If Sayori feels a pain of guilt of waking her so early she doesn't show it.

"Are you outside? I figured that it's really windy out there!"

"Yeah, I'll be fine." She mutes the phone as soon as she hears a bullet flying over by, followed by the tormenting of Haru's voice. He's not far away.

"Anyways," she says, unmuting the phone. Surprisingly no fear was in her cheery voice. "Do you know where's the nearest police station at? There's no wifi where I'm at."

"Is Natsuki's dad targeting you. I swear when I get my hands on him..."

"Oh no... I just need to...deal with warrants!"

Sayori could practically feel Monika's unease over the phone.  
"...You know you could tell me anything, right?"

Sayori's guilt washes through her very being at Monika's sad tone. Still, she can't vent now. Haru might find Monika's number again and that was a scary thought in itself.

 "I'll tell you everything when I get back," Sayori whispers. "But this is very-" She mutes the phone yet again as a bullet shoots into the bush almost inches by her. "-very urgent."

She could hear Monika sigh from over the phone. "The nearest police station is ten minutes from our house. Be safe, Sayori. I'll be waiting."

Sayori smiles slightly. "I will. Love you."

"Love you more. Bye."  
The phone call disconnects.

Sayori sighs, collecting her thoughts. Even if she wasn't the best at math, even she knew that it will take longer to reach the station. This part of the woods was far from her home and him shooting her on the sidewalk was out of the question. Poor outsiders would probably get hurt and it would be all her fault.

Calling the actual police was a no too. He would kill her on the spot and leave the scene afterward. He's skilled in his evil act. Too skilled.

So that left the only option, to get him herself.  
Since he's away from the tree momentarily, she could run as fast as she can to dig it out and shoot him. Then she could call the cops and get this situation over with.

He's skilled, but Sayori's willpower might overpower it.

She peeks out from the shrub to see that he has gotten tremendously closer to her, only a few more steps until she was fully his.  
Using only her flight-or-fight responses, she suddenly guns it.

A trail of gunshots flies by behind her, pecking at her feet. One actually skins her ankle causing her to fall and land on her face. She was very close anyway, so she didn't mind as much as she should have. She scrambles behind the tree, her tree, and looks around for...

"The dirt pile!"

A small hill of dirt was just in front of the tree, the same dirt she grabbed with her fist. Thank the stars she used a landmark. She wouldn't see if he didn't skin her ankle and it was too small to actually mean anything, but still, it's the thought that counts.

She digs up the dirt pile eagerly and to her relief finds her gun. It was already loaded (thank god) and set up to her advantage.

She never actually used a gun before, not even knowing how to cock it (it was cocking, right?) nevertheless shoot it. So she just clutched it in her hand, ready for anything.

Haru was waiting for her too, gun in hand. Truth be told he was on his last bullet. He couldn't resist himself, having Sayori scram and scream was the highlight of the day. However, the fun has to end soon.

"When are you giving up. You can't fight forever."

"I'll try my best!" Sayori shouts, gripping her gun tighter.

"It's a weakness," he says, completely ignoring her last retort. He walks towards and given her posture she wasn't going to step back. "Your kindness is a weakness. It makes you vulnerable to people like me."

Sayori pursed her lips together, not knowing what to say. Her mind keeps on echoing it's true, but her heart is saying that kindness won't work on anyone. But she doesn't want Haru to be that 'anyone'.

"So I'm going to say again, I'm not your friend. I'll never be your friend. Got it?" His white ringed eyes dilated as a wicked smile is plastered on his face. His body shook wildly of excitement. "Sayonara."

"N-No!"

Sayori tries to shoot her own gun, but Haru grabs it and turns her to her side, pinning her left arm against the tree. She could feel the warm blood trickle on her arm as she yells in pain. But no time for that, Haru shoots for her head only for her to turn and hit her shoulder.

Sayori bites her lip and pushes him away from the arm she hasn't injured. Then she kicked his foot, causing him to drop his gun. He wastes no time and punches her, causing her to hit her head against the tree stump and fall on her butt.

She holds down on her wound to keep her from bleeding out. She grunted in pain, trying to keep consciousness, searching for her gun. Unfortunately for her, it was nowhere to be seen. Her eyes slowly glided up to Haru, who had towered over her.

In his hands, her tranquilizer gun.

"A non-lethal. How sad." He pulls the bullet from its tail before throwing the gun away. "You're really hopeless, aren't you?" He laughs silently.

Sayori frowns at him as if this was a normal conversation. She does want to live though she wasn't afraid of death. She spent too much time fantasizing over it before the literature club to be afraid. But dying hurts (she's currently bitting her lip to keep from screaming all those insensitive words that her mother said to never say, even to her deathbed) and she had a question or two to the man she (once) calls a friend

"What are you going to do? We both have no bullets left and if you wait until I bled out, morning will come," she says, slightly slurring due to her head injury. She looks over to the horizon which already had a purple hue.

It was true, Sayori was going to die before the sun comes up, they both knew that. However, Haru didn't have until the sunrise. The police are still looking for the stealthy crack addict.

He gets an idea, gripping the bullet in his hand.

"Don't worry, this will only hurt a bit."  
Sayori silently whimpers. She's already in an extreme amount of pain right now. He rolled his eyes, finding her attempts for mercy annoying.

A tense silence forms between the two once again, as if they said their last goodbyes in silence.

Sayori releases her hold on her shoulder wound, too weak to hold the pressure any more. She closes her eyes, letting Haru do whatever he's thinking to her.

He jams the tranquilization bullet in the shoulder wound, muffling her screams to not give out their location.

Sayori clamps her eyes shut as she screams, the pain was the worst thing in the world. It suddenly became harder to breathe as she tried to claw him off her with no avail. The world gets blurry. Was it her tears or the bullet? She doesn't care, she just screams and screams until she couldn't scream anymore.

Haru just waits until she falls limp. Her fight was annoying for him. It wasn't like she could stop him, so why even try? He guesses he will never know

He stretches, looking at the sky. The purple sky was now a whirlwind of purple, blue and yellow. He spent too much time here. His eyes glide to the fainted Sayori. Oh how he would love to just finish her off, but it's just not worth it. Oh well.

He runs off to the sunrise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, sorry, and sorry.
> 
> Also yeah, Sayori's the mystery girl in the meeting chapters. Tell me what you think!


	15. 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saturday, October 10, 2017  
> -  
> Caring for a person could be a blessing and a cure.  
> It feels so amazing but it hurts so much to see them in pain.  
> Maybe even too much.

_The clouds seemed to cry as we walked towards the station. The sky was a dark gray as gentle tears pelt the world below. If it wasn't for our umbrellas, we would have gotten soaked._

_I stayed silent, tightening my grip on my umbrella with each step. I knew where we were going and I hate it._

_A light song snapped me out of my thoughts. I look over to see Auntie humming a song. She had on a white sundress with scattered purple flowers. Anemones, exactly. Auntie went on a rant earlier about Anemones and how they mean to live in the moment. She wanted to remind herself, no, both of us that. I, myself, was wearing a bright yellow sundress._

_"You're singing that song?" I question, blushing slightly._

_"It's my favorite," she says simply. "I know it's your favorite too~"_

_I blush more, looking away. "I mean, it's a good song. It's just--"_

_"Why don't you sing it with me?"_  
_"Sing?! My voice is barely that good!"_  
_"For fun. I don't care about your voice anyways."_

_I studdered to form an answer while Auntie pulls out her phone to play the music from. She grins as[it](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orLzKK_7erM) starts to play,_

_"Twinkle little star. You must keep flowing~ You will twinkle fully, and keep flowing. As beautiful as you are~"_

_I flush again, knowing completely who she's singing for. Auntie only gives me a kind smile._

_"Is it wrong to sing to the people I love?" she asks during the instrumental._

_"N-No. I'm just not used to it yet."_

_"You're going to get used to it soon," she smirks. I smile lightly. Knowing her, she's is going to make it happen. Before we both knew it, the short instrumental was over and she sings again._

_"With the love that just started walking on. And like playing music~ I believe, in whatever shape. The sun will rise, it must."_

_As she sung the first verse I realized she did this on purpose. The song explains our situation completely. She's trying to give me confidence by combining it with music._

_I let the smile on my face grow. I swear, she could be so corny sometimes._

_"So, are you nervous?" She asked when she finishes, turning down the music a little._

_I bite my lip. "Yeah, it's going to be hard with nobody around."_

_We approach the station as I feared. I clutch onto my umbrella again, this time not without Auntie noticing. She motions me to stop._

_"Deep breaths, Mons. You're going to be just fine."_

_"I just don't know that I could go on without you! Especially when Mother said that I couldn't contact you anymore since you are not on her side of the family. You were my only supporter! My only real friend! I don't think that I can--"_

_Auntie pulls me into a hug, letting me cry onto her chest. Her phone still plays the music and the verse, "It's alright, how the future will be," soothes me. It was like it knew exactly what I was feeling._

_We stayed like that for a while before I realized that my train will be arriving soon and parted. Before we went into the station Auntie gives me a piece of paper._

_"If it ever gets bad, visit me."_  
_In her hands was her address._

_"But I'm forbidden--"_

_"Please Monika. I will be very sad if anything happened to you."_

_I stared at the piece of paper in hesitation before taking it and putting it in my pocket. "Okay."_

_She smiles and leads me up the stairs._

_We could rest our umbrellas since our station had a cover from the rain._

_Auntie sits on the benches, leaning her head against the wall. We listen to her music, the song had been looped at least five times now. I didn't want to force myself to talk and Auntie didn't push me. With her, today seems almost like a normal day._

_But it isn't. I didn't want to leave. I'm not ready to leave. Just please let me stay another year. I'll do anything! Mother, Father, please! I'm afraid. I'm afraid. Someone save me! I don't want to be alone. I haven't mature enough. Oh god, I'm going to die out there. I'm gonna disappear without ever making a single friend!_

_"Monika, your crying."_

_I felt my face and indeed, warm tears soaked it. I wiped them quickly._

_"Sorry," I blushed. Before we both could say another word, the train rushes in loudly. I stood up, ready to go in._

_Wait, why can't I go in?_

_Wait, I am not ready to go in yet!_

_Auntie places a hand on my shoulder._

_"It will be alright."_  
_"...I-I--"_

_I hugged her tightly, never wanting to let go. I can't help but feel my tears wash my face again._

_"I will miss you," I whisper after pulling away._  
_"I will miss you too, Mons. Now shoo, you're going to miss your train!" Auntie smirks but I could see the tears in her eyes too._

_I quickly got my umbrella and went on the train, waving goodbye. Luckily, the seat that I had was a window seat and I could still see her. She was still waving, still had her small smile, and probably still had her music playing._

_The train started moving again and I had to accept the fact that I will be away from Auntie for a long time. But before that could happen, Auntie, opened her mouth to say something a final time._

_She mouths her last words as the world turns black once more._

* * *

 Buzz! Buzz!

I groan, turning over. It's probably a notification. It's too early for this. My phone buzzes again and finally got up. 5:30 am. It's the weekend, right? Who could be calling now?

I read the caller id drowsily. Sayori? Isn't she home?

I answer anyways, too sleepy to think of anything else.

"Mmm... Why are you awake, Sayo?"

"Hehe, sorry! I was just not tired," she says rather hastily. She also sounds like she was out of breath. I guess she ran somewhere.

Wait, did Yuri say something about telling people if you're going outside?

I yawn, rubbing my eyes. "Are you outside? I figured that it's really windy out there!"

"Yeah, I'll be fine." Sayori's line suddenly goes mute for a few seconds. Is her phone broken? Is she ok--

"Anyways," she says, her line suddenly unmuting. "Do you know where's the nearest police station is at? There's no wifi where I'm at."

A surge of fury rushes through me. "Is Natsuki's dad targeting you? I swear when I get my hands on him..."

"Oh no... I just need to...deal with warrants!"

My angry demeanor vanishes and unease creeps onto me. Sayori with warrants? I frown, somethings up.

"...You know you could tell me anything, right?"

Both lines go silent.

Sayori's voice goes down to a whisper. "I'll tell you everything when I get back. But this is very, very urgent."

I sigh, knowing I won't get anything else anytime soon. "The nearest police station is ten minutes from our house. Be safe, Sayori. I'll be waiting."

"I will. Love you."

"Love you more. Bye."  
The call disconnects.

I sat up in bed, concern washing over me. I look over to my alarm. "...5:36." The unease is too much to just sleep it off.

Is she okay? Something's wrong. She has been muting her phone for a while. What if she did have a warrant? I'm a bad girlfriend. I can't do anything to help. I...

..I need my anxiety medicine.

I stumbled into the kitchen, downing a pill and some water. Even though the anxiety died down, my concern didn't. She was acting weird. I should just check up on her...

But that feels like a thing a girlfriend would do... Wait, I am her girlfriend!

I quickly throw on my clothes. It would only be for a second. I hope I'm not being overbearing.

I texted Yuri to inform that I was leaving and left the house silently. 

* * *

 

I walked quickly along the road, trying to call Sayori. She won't answer back which causing me to unknowing quicken my pace. Gosh, Sayori answer your phone.

She was just here. She was just fine. No, why wouldn't she answer her phone is she alright, dummy. I can't. I cant. I cant--

"Oof!"

I trip over a rock, hurting my knee. I wince in pain, before looking up to--

Wait...

"...Where am I?"

Trees cover the area in front of me, making it hard to see anything else. Though some bushes and shrubs litter the ground. It looks desolate, I wonder why.

A light buzzing sound lingered through the air. I picked up at my phone (that thankfully didn't crack) to see that I was still trying to reach Sayori. The buzzing might be Sayori's cell.

A new hope brightens as I lifted myself up and followed the sound in hopes to find Ms. Vice President. If I could hear her phone, she couldn't be far, right?

I stared up at the sky. The whirlwind of purple, yellow and blue indicated that the sunrise is starting. It's alright Monika, she's okay. I bit my lip and continued.

"Sayori?" The skip in my step quickens as the buzzing gets louder. I call out to her again, although she never responds.

I tried to stop my hands from shaking in fear. Merely it's nothing that bad. But why doesn't she respond or call me? Why isn't she at home? What is she doing here?

My pace goes even faster as I try to block out all my questions.  
My calling gets more frantic as there was nobody to calm me.  
My fear keeps escalating and escalating to the point that I can't breathe.

I forcefully stop myself. I try to catch my breath but each breath is painfully inhaled. Tears gathered in my eyes as fear gobbles me up. I could hardly gather my own racing thoughts nevertheless try to speak.

But I pushed through.

Auntie's favorite song was Viator by Rianos. She used to sing it to me and I always had to get flustered. I wasn't used to anyone loving me when I was...myself.

Her, no, our favorite verse was 'The sun will rise, it must'.

The sun wasn't out yet. The sunrise was only just beginning. But... It will rise again. And so will I.

Slowly but surely, I caught my breath and most of the fear evaporated away.

Noticing that my phone was left on Sayori's voicemail, I dialed Sayori's number again. Light buzzing came from the trees and I followed it once more.

I walked towards a small clearing that was clear from some trees. The buzzing was louder than it ever been, so I guess this is it.

I held my breath, praying for the best.

"Sayo--"

Sayori was sitting by a tree, her shoulder was impaled with one of the tranquilizer bullets which was bleeding profusely. Her face was cut by woodchips and splinters. In the corner of my eye, her other arm was bruised and was slowly turning into a deep purple.

I gasp silently before running to her. Untying my hastily done bow, I pull out the bullet and put pressure upon her shoulder wound. Even with her being unconscious, she winces in response.

I silently reassured her before looking at her other arm. It wasn't as injured as her left arm but was steadily bleeding on her limp hand and out of her fingers. I silently curse myself not having anything to help her with.

I fumbled with my phone to call the police. My voice shaking and cracking with worry. As soon as they said they'll be there I hung up and texted our group chat.

_We are the Literature Club!_

_Moni: Get to the hospital as quickly as you guys can._

* * *

 Somehow, I don't feel like crying.  
I don't feel like shaking or worrying either. I just feel numb with guilt.

October 10th. Three more days and I have to spend them like this. With Sayori injured in the hospital.

I haven't even told them yet.

I sigh, staring at the clock in the waiting room.

"Monika!"

I turned towards the large doors to see Natsuki and Yuri rushing in. I waved and shone a small smile.

"We got your text and ran as fast as we could," Natsuki said when they reached me, panting. "Is she okay?"

"She's fine," I said waving them off. I could practically feel both girls relief as they sighed in unison.

"You never said why is Sayori here in the first place," Yuri says as she sits in the seat by me. Natsuki sits next to her, causing Yuri to flush slightly.

"She probably did something stupid again," Natsuki comments and we all laughed lightly.

...

I shifted in my seat as two sets of eyes glance over at me, the laughter dies down.

...

"...She did something stupid, right?"

Silence.

"...Is it that bad," Yuri shyly questions.

"She'll be fine."

More light silence develops between us three as I gather my thoughts. I took one breath of courage as I faced them.

"I think... Sayori was attacked by you-know-who."

Natsuki and Yuri's eyes widen as they realized the situation. After recovering from their shock, Natsuki tenses.

"That motherfucker! We already have a lot of shit on our plates, we don't need him to pile them up more!"

"Natsuki calm down. You're shouting," Yuri whispers. Natsuki glares at her.

"Don't you care!? Sayori was his childhood friend! For him to throw her on the ground and treat her like shit disgusts me. She _trusted_ him, Yuri!"

Yuri stares at the ground, clearly defeated. However, Natsuki wasn't done yet.

"You!" Natsuki points at me and I jump back in surprise. "Why aren't you doing anything!? Your fucking girlfriend almost got murdered and you just sit here thinking it's _okay_?! What's wrong with you!"

I stared at her with wide-eyed surprise as she realizes what she just said and shrinks.

"I...I'll be right back."

She wipes the angry tears off her eyes and hurries to the bathroom.

Natsuki's words still rung in my head as she left and yet, the numbness is still there. The reason why I am like this because this is somehow isn't the only thing on my mind. There is still that nagging guilt and that damn date ringing in my head.

I sigh, composing myself in my seat again. Maybe I am a bad girlfriend...

"Are you okay?"

Yuri was staring at me, frowning slightly. "I swear Natsuki can be so inconsiderate sometimes..."

"I get her. We all care about Sayori in different ways. Lashing out was just one of those ways."

Yuri nods in agreement. "Still, can't say she's the best at these conversations."

I laughed. "How you're feeling?"

"Oh, I want to break every bone in his fucking body for even laying a finger on Sayori. Sadly I realized it's too risky so I wish to put him in jail for the justice we deserve," she whispers coldly, a wisp in her voice. "Oh! A death sentence would be nice too. He killed so many people... A taste of his own medicine will surely show him who he's messing with~"

"Good to know," I say rather hurriedly. Yuri sure gets very violent sometimes. I wonder what else messed up tortures she has.

"H-How about you," she says regaining herself suddenly. "You saw her after all."

"I don't feel anything. The trip is occupying my mind more."

Yuri gasps as she remembers. "I have forgotten you booked that! I was just too caught up with freeing Natsuki and now this..."

"Don't worry, I've forgotten too. This week was really intense." I ran my hand into my hair. The bow forcefully threw away because the doctors didn't want anything bloody near Sayori. I guess I buy one later. "But this trip is in three days now and we still haven't told them anything."

Yuri bites her lip worriedly. "We haven't really..." She thinks for a second before her eyes light up. "What about tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?"

"Today we focus on Sayori, god knows she really needs it. But tomorrow we have to tell them. No butting out."

I smiled slightly. "Tomorrow it is!" 

* * *

 

"Hey."

We looked up to see Natsuki standing in front of us. She has been in the bathroom for forty minutes now. Relief rushes through me as I see she's fine.

Natsuki frowns, looking away. "...I'm sorry for yelling at you guys. I-I guess I was kinda rude."

"It's okay," Yuri immediately says. She catches herself and flushes. "I-I mean you were angry b-by that fact he did that s-so I forgive you."

"Yuri has a good point Natsuki," I say, winking at Yuri for a split second. Said girl gets flustered more as she hides her face with her hair. "You're off the hook."

"Yeah, thanks you two...I mean it."

"N-No problem!"  
"No problem!"

Natsuki goes to sit near Yuri again and we sit in silence for probably the thousandth time today. Things are really quiet without Sayori around. I never noticed since she's by my side all the time.

"Monika?"

A voice that was neither Yuri's or Natsuki's ringed through the room. I look up to see a nurse calling my name. She smiles when she sees me.

"Sayori is allowed to see visitors now. Would you like to see her?"

"May my friends come?" I say, glancing at Yuri and Natsuki. She nods.

"Very well, her room number is 207. I must warn you though, she might be loopy from the painkillers for a few hours."

I thank her and she walks towards her next patient without another word. I look back to Natsuki and Yuri.

"Why does she have painkillers in the first place?" Natsuki asks. I sighed.

"She didn't exactly have one injury..."

Natsuki clenches her teeth. "Of course..."

Yuri stands smiling slightly. "At least she's alright." She wasn't nearly as enthusiastic as Sayori, but she at least reassured Natsuki.

"...Yeah."

"Let's go then," I say, getting up as well. "Sayori's waiting for us!" 

* * *

"Moni, Natsu, Yuri! Hellooo!"

We all stood at the doorway blankly as Sayori shines a lopsided grin.

She was fine for the most part. Her left shoulder seemed to be stitched up fine. Luckily there was no damage to any bones or veins. Her right arm was broken through and was safely secured in a blue arm cast. Her face was riddled with small bruises from the woodchips. Her forehead was wrapped in bandages.

"You...okay?" Natsuki asks hesitantly. Sayori nods enthusiastically.

"I'm more than okayyy, I'm great~ Loook, they gave me a blue arm cast!" Sayori shows her arm cast proudly, giggling. I notice a slight slur in her voice and noted to not bring up some stuff today.

"I'm glad you were okay. We were really worried for you," I say, kissing her on the cheek.

"Ohh, you shouldn't worry! I didn't feel a thing! They put me on this medicine thingy that makes me feel very happy inside~"

Revealing how sedated she is. I honestly believe they put her on too much on that stuff.

Sayori goes on to talk about lots of random stuff for in her sedated haze. I tried to talk her into sleeping it out but she is pretty defensive.

"I never felt like this before so I want to test it outtt Moni! Everything's so weird like thiss~"

"You're slurring," Natsuki points out. Yuri tries to hush her.

"EH?! Noo I'm not! I'm perfectly--"

Sayori's phone rings suddenly. She reads the caller idea and immediately pales.

"W-What?... I thought..."

"Are you okay?" Yuri asks. Sayori nods absently.

"I...Um...need to go to the bathrooom!"

She suddenly runs out of the room, phone and monitor in hand. Unease quickly crept upon me.

"...Was that who I think it was?"

Natsuki sighs deeply, pinching the sides of her nose while Yuri nervously shifts on her seat.

"I'll go check on her," I say. Natsuki and Yuri nods.

Wandering in the hospital, I try to search for a loopy Sayori. She wasn't in the office or the waiting room. The nurses didn't see her either. It wasn't much time till I searched everywhere I was permitted to go. Sayori was missing again.

The only room I haven't checked was the bathrooms and I was too scared to do that with other patients around. I took a deep breath and grabbed the doorknob. I guess I just had to deal.

The first thing I heard was the sound of quiet sobbing. It broke my heart when I recognized the sweet voice.

"Sayori?"

The sobbing suddenly stopped for a moment. "M-Monni?"

"Yes, I'm here."

Sayori sniffles before unlocking her stall, the one in the far right. She holds herself, looking away. Her phone is noticeably cracked on the floor.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For everything." She shrinks as she inhales a shaky breath. "I'm sorry for the phone call. I'm sorry for lying and hurting you. I'm sorry for  _thisss_." She shakily points to her broken arm.

"I forgive you."

"I don't need forgiveness."

"It wasn't your fault, was it?"

"I still agreed with it."

We both were silent for a moment, realizing what slipped out of her mouth.

"...Agreed with what?"

Sayori gives another shaky inhale. "...A promise so you guys won't get hurt by him in return with cash. A promise broken. Oh god, I'm so stupiddd. I've should've known."

"Sayori..."

"I'm sorry."

"Has he hurt you before this?"

She looks away, shaking slightly. Her reply was almost inaudible. "I endured them for you."

I hugged her instantly, causing her to gasp silently.

"Don't ever say that again! We're a team, remember? I can take hits too."

"...You don't understand Monika. They're too powerful for you to handlee!"

"They're too powerful for you to handle either!"

Sayori was silent for a moment, her tears hitting my shirt. "O-One has to take the blow, you know."

"I care for you too much to let you do that."

Sayori chuckles lowly. "...Moniii, you care too much."

"It's my duty as your girlfriend."

"Thank you for being my girlfriend, then."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The meeting chapters is now finished. A new pov change chapter will take it's place very soon.


	16. 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sunday, October, 11, 2017  
> -  
> Sometimes yesterday's memories are today's motivation.

Sayori got admitted out today.

It turns out that she also had a concussion, but it wasn't that bad. All her other injuries seemed to heal quickly except for the shoulder and her broken arm. The doctors told her to not move the stitches too much or they'll give out.

She also recovered from her pain medication today and told us everything. Sayori and Haru used to meet up every week for seven months. These "meetings" consisted of Sayori giving him her hard owned money for drugs. She risked her life every Friday for the promise of him not hurting all of us.

Now that promise was broken and Sayori was still feeling the effects.

Even though she tries to hide it, she blames herself. She blames herself for the deaths of Natsuki's, Yuri's and her own family members. She blames herself for how deceitful Haru was. She blames herself for everything.

I wish I can just stop her from blaming herself on everything. It hurts to see her like this.

"Are you feeling alright."

"I'm fine."

Sayori stares on blankly while we walked home. She's been quiet ever since she had that phone call. We both knew it was dangerous for her to be left in her own thoughts but she still did anyway.

I walked beside her, not knowing what to say. I think she doesn't want me to say anything.

The sky was a blend of orange, pink and purple. The sheer beauty of it made me look on with awe. Sunrises are very pretty, aren't they?

"...I guess they are," Sayori whispers causing me to realize that I said that last part out loud. I felt my face tint. We both stopped to stare at the sun slowly rise. I started to hum Viator unconsciously.

After a while, Sayori started to hum with me.

I stared at her in slight surprise as she hums along. She meets my gaze and flushes slightly, realizing what she's doing.

"Viator was one of the songs I listened to for motivation," she says after a tense silence. Her voice was still a fragile whisper. "It helped me keep going most days as it easily became my favorite."

"It helped me too," I say slowly, thinking of yesterday's events. "Such a calming song always seemed to calm my nerves."

"More than Melody?"

"More than Melody."

Sayori giggles and for a moment, the rainclouds clouding her face cleared. The small but bright smile that appeared on her lips made my heart swell in joy.

But as quickly as it came, it left.

"I kept it a secret because I thought it was lame listening to piano music, nevertheless piano music from an anime. But now seeing you know it..." She trails off, flushing again.

"I kinda kept it a secret too. We're even!"

Sayori shines a small smile. My heart ached in happiness once more.

The sun was almost in its rightful place in the sky when I came up with an idea. Smiling, I wordlessly say my goodbyes to the sunrise as I turned to Sayori.

"Let's take a detour."

* * *

"Are we even allowed to be going here?" Sayori asks. We were walking on a dirt path again. A different one from when I found Sayori at.

"We won't be going alone. We'll be fine." I skipped through the plain area, practically wanting to run. This is one of my favorite places in the world. Sayori follows close behind, trying to keep up.

Soon enough we met a large glistening blue lake. My smile grows uncontrollably large as I sat near the lake, looking at my reflection. Sayori follows suit, shining a small smile.

"Do you remember this place?" I say. Sayori gasps, acting offended.

"Of course I do! We had our datester here and toppled over in that there boat." She points to an old wooden boat sitting by a small docking area.

"And almost got eaten by a bear," I added smirking.

"And got lost while our cell phones were dead," Sayori added, raising an eyebrow.

"And almost got killed as the zoo animals ramage the zoo."

"And got on the train right before it broke."

"And gave Natsuki twenty dollars each for losing a bet!"

We both laugh. "How did she know that it will turn out that bad?!"

"She's psychic!"

It was technically our first date, but it ended up in a disaster. (Except when riding the rhinos. They're super cute!) We called that date our datester because we didn't get anything done. However, it was one of the greatest days of my life.

Being with my girlfriend while handling a shitload of shenanigans is always so fun.

"You know, I actually planned on confessing on you here," I say. Sayori smiles lightly.

"But then I spluttered that I liked you at a sleepover."

"You are usually super flirty when you're sleepy."

Sayori laughs again. "Well, you're flirty...like... all the time."

"Is that so?" I kissed her, proving her point.

"...Very flirty."

"I can't help that I love you~"

She kissed my forehead gently. "I love you too."

Sayori and I watched the lake silently for a few minutes before she speaks again.

"Life is short, did you know that?"

"Sayori wha--"

"But with happiness and joy, it could be fulfilling." She continues, ignoring me. "Do you know how fucked up life is without any of those things?"

"Sayori..."

"Haru said that to me once, saying that he was emotionless. He had to act normal for people. He was my friend because he felt obliged to, n-not because he wanted to." She chokes up on the last sentence as I watch helplessly. She wipes away the tears on her eyes before continuing.

"It made me think how similar my life was to h-his. How we both acted 'normal' because we didn't want any attention drawn to us. How we didn't have a-a lot of happiness in our childhoods. How we both met the literature club and was truly happy. And still..."

Sayori takes a shaky breath, turning to me. "A-And still, he chose to t-throw it all away...for you."

She couldn't take it at this point, sobbing heavily into her hands.

I frowned, brushing her hands away. "Hey Sayori, do you remember my break up?"

Sayori's sobbing slowed as she tried to speak. "With him?" I nod and she grimaces. "Yeah. Haru almost destroyed the whole literature club."

"Want me to tell my side?"

Sayori suddenly looks up, disbelief in her eyes. "We..I...You--!"

"I'll be fine. I moved on, obviously."

Sayori stares at me hesitantly as she nods. I chuckle for a bit, remembering old memories.

"It all started when Haru confessed..."

* * *

_"Will you accept my confession?"_

_Haru bows, a smile plastered on his face. I froze, staring at the love letter in my hand to Haru. My mind blanks._

_What's going on?_

_Haru is confessing to me. Haru is confessing to me._

_I try to reciprocate feelings for him, but somehow, I can't. Only a longing for a long friendship exists in me for the man in front of me. And that seems to be fading, seeing how he's been acting for the last few days. However, I sense feelings for--_

_I felt my face tint. I can't think about her, not now. I need to focus what's in front of me which is..._

_Haru is confessing._

_Fuck._

_I bit my lip, thinking. I declined many confessions because I was 'popular' and all. Still, this was a friend of mine. I don't want to break his heart._

_"I accept."_

_I answer half thinking. What am I'm doing? I don't want this. I don't want this!_

_Haru stands up and pulls me into a hug, beaming._

_I can't break his heart, not now._

_It'll break mines too._

* * *

_I was walking to the club when someone grabs my arm. I relax when I see who it._

_"Oh, hey babe," I say._  
_I cringe inside, the word disturbing my very core._

_"Hey, where are you going?"_

_"To the club? I thought you were going too."_

_"Heh, to that dump? Let's go somewhere more fun."_

_"Eh?! The literature club isn't a dump! ...I thought you liked it."_

_"I like you!" He pecks my cheek in which I flinch to. "Come on Monika, they'll be fine without us for a day."_

_I don't want to make a scene. I need to be perfect and if it's with him..._

_"Sure, take me where ever you like."_

_I wanted to go to the literature club today...Sayori is there._

_It will be alright Monika, You'll see everyone tomorrow._

_You just have to tolerate faking a relationship until then._

* * *

_I try to think about other things while making out with Haru. Tolerating it is easier than breaking up with him._

_I don't know if I can break up with him._

_I'll think I'll have a panic attack if I do. Oh god, he'll never be my friend again. And then Sayori, Natsuki, and Yuri will follow suit. I'll be friendless again. I'll-_

_I pulled back, pulling my shirt down._

_"No! What the fuck was that?!"_

_"Don't say you didn't want it."_

_"I didn't! Listen, Haru, we are only one month in our relationship. I don't think we're ready for that..."_

_"Oh..." Haru frowns, averting his eyes. My heartbeat quickens._

_They won't be friends with me anymore. They won't be friends with me anymore. They won't be friends with me anymore. They won't be friends with me anymore. They won't be friends with me anymore. They won't be friends with me anymore. They won't be friends with me anymore. They won't be friends with me anymore. They won't be friends with me anymore. They won't be friends with me anymore. They won't be friends with me anymore. They won't be friends with me anymore. They won't be friends with me anymo--_

_"I'll talk to you later," I say rather hurriedly. I quickly ran up the stairs to hide my tears._

* * *

_I pulled Haru by the arm and dragged him outside the clubroom._

_"What's wrong with you?!" I whisper harshly. Haru frowns._

_"I was just teasing her." I stare at him and he looks away guiltily._

_"You and I both know that it wasn't teasing." The quiet sobbing from the clubroom proves my point. "You shouldn't lash out at her like that, she's your friend. She's our friend."_

_A tense silence grew between us both as I stared him down._

_"If only you knew..."_

_"Know what?"_

_"Sayori tried to get with me. I only lashed out on her to prove my dedication to you."_

_My frown dissipates, in its place with confusion. Sayori wouldn't do that, would she?_

_"...What?"_

_"She said awful things about you, babe... Saying things like your confidence was a fake and that you're really pathetic on the inside..." My breath hitches as anxiety rush through me. She knew. She knew. She knew. She knew._

_"B-But she wouldn't..."_

_"I didn't know that she was like that either but you have to trust me. You trust me, right...?"_

_I glanced through the clubroom door's window, to the sobbing Sayori and the comforting Natsuki and Yuri. I held my breath, tears somehow escaping my eyes._

_They can't know. I won't let them know! Even if I have to..._

_"I-I do."_

_He kisses me and this time I didn't dislike it._

_"That's my Moni."_

* * *

_"Where are you going, babe?" Haru shouts from the kitchen. I sigh, I just wanted to just slip out from his guard._

_"T-To school. I have forgotten something!" I impatiently tap my foot on the floor, waiting for him to just drop it._

_He didn't, of course. He comes over and frowns instead._

_"Are you going to that literature club. That club's full of liers and hypocrites."_

_I scowl at his words. Sure, I haven't talked to them in a month but I want to become friends again. The literature club was my safe haven, my home. I realized from the time I was holed up in Haru's house that I still wanted it to be._

_"I realized that I never had a proper goodbye. Can I just slip in for a bit... Please?"_

_He was silent as he decided his choice. A glimmer of hope appears in my eyes as I smiled at him._

_"...Fine. Just don't stay long."_

_"Yay! Thank you!"_

_I rush out the door as fast as I can, pleading that they haven't ended the club yet. The school was a short distance away from Haru's house, but it still was tiring to run the entire way._

_I stopped as I reached the clubroom, panting furiously. A wave of anxiety rushes through me as I saw all of them having fun inside. They wouldn't want me back. I should just go back home..._

_Just before I was going back home, the door suddenly opens. A very familiar vice president (president?) pops into view, pouting._

_"Stop annoying us. I thought we agreed to disband next-- Monika?!"_

_Sayori was even more beautiful than last month. Her sapphire eyes glistened with tears as she beams._

_"I-I never thought you'll come back."_

_"Well, I never thought I'll see you again."_

_Sayori beams before remembering the past month. Her smile vanishes as she backs away instantly, reaching for the door._

_"You still aren't mad at me, aren't you?"_

_"Actually, we need to talk."_

_"Oh?"_

* * *

_"Break up with him."_

_"Eh?!"_

_"You can't let him just control you like this, dude," Natsuki whispers. "Letting him decide where you go, decide who you talk to, even letting him look at your messages isn't normal. That's even not considering if your right about him lying to you..."_

_I stared at the two. Yuri sits at a desk, fidgeting with her hair. Natsuki leans against the closet, blowing the hair out of her face._

_Sayori had asked to get some air beforehand. I have a feeling that she's not coming back._

_"I-I agree with Natsuki on this one. Your relationship is unhealthy," Yuri says. "You have to break it off or this abuse will get worse."_

_I felt my breath hitch. I thought they would just say "You should just have a talk with him" or "Everything's will be alright soon!" I didn't expect them to say break up with him. I grip my shirt tighter as I tried to think of a response._

_"Monika, please. We care for you."_

_"We won't force you into anything if you don't want though... It's your call."_

_This was I wanted months ago! Now I have a valid excuse to break up with him! This is what I wanted all along!_

_But...I love him._

_I groan in frustration as I tried to stop myself from crying. My heart is confusion. Why do I love him? Do I still love Sayori?! Wait, do I love them both?!_

_Natsuki and Yuri look on in worry as I began to sob. Was it because of confusion? Frustration? Denial?_

_"Monika are you--"_

_"I'll be fine," I choked, smiling slightly. "Just... I'll think about it."_

_Yuri whispered in Natsuki ear hesitantly. She perks up, quietly thanking Yuri for whatever she said. Yuri somehow becomes more flustered than before._

_As my sobbing died down, Natsuki began to write something down, tearing out a page of her poetry notebook. "Here," she says slowly, flushing a little. "Stay safe, dummy."_

_I hesitantly took it, thanking her. She averts her gaze and rolls her eyes._

_I smiled walking home, wiping my remaining tears. Natsuki has given me the literature club's numbers._

_I made our first group chat that day._

* * *

_Two weeks._

_I have waited two weeks to gain my confidence and strength. Now, I think I can do it._

_I'm breaking up with him._

_I'm breaking up with him!_

_I'll...do my best? I don't feel like doing my best on a thing like this. My heart still longs for him._

_I have to do this._

_I have to do this._

_I don't want to do this._

_"Haru? Can you come upstairs please?"_

_"Coming!"_

_I cupped my mouth as soon as the words came out my mouth but the cheerily reply still came afterward. I suddenly felt sick to my stomach as infinite possibilities came to mind. My oxygen levels suddenly dropped as I began to gasp and choke. I couldn't even control shaking rapidly._

_The door opens and in came Haru, oblivious as ever._

_"Monika? Are you okay?"_

_"I'm f-fine," I say, trying to control my breathing. Deep breaths Monika, deep breaths._

_He sits down, rubbing circles on my back but I move back. "I need to talk to you."_

_"About what, babe?"_

_"About us."_

_His kind demeanor vanishes. "What did they say?"_

_"They?"_

_"Those bitches over in that literature club who else!" He curses under his breath. "I shouldn't have let you go over there..."_

_"STOP BLAMING THEM ON EVERYTHING! They did nothing wrong..."_

_"They did everything wrong! They lied to you, Monika. They talked about you behind your back and had 'accidents' to embarrass you!" He sighs, squeezing my hand. "Why do you still stick up to them rather to me?"_

_My heart broke at his frown. I thought about just dropping the subject for now, but I refuse. I need to do this, for both of us._

_Rip the bandage off._

_Rip the bandage off._

_Rip the bandage off...!_

_"Y-Your lying."_

_"W-What?"_

_"I-I can see through you Haru. I can see that your lying. And if you have to...l-lie... to get your way then I think we need some time apart..."_

_The squeezing stops. "What?"_

_"I-I think we s-should break up, Haru."_

_He stands up, glaring daggers at me. I immediately turn away, not trying to cry in front of him._

_"Fucking Hell!" He throws a glass from my desk dangerously close to me. I jump, looking at the glass remains._

_"That could have hit me!"_

_"You're staying here at any cost. You don't know what you doing by leaving me--"_

_"I decided already. O-Our relationship wasn't healthy..."_

_"WHAT ABOUT MY DECISION!?" His voice booms through the wall. A few tears turn into uncontrolled sobbing as I broke in my bedroom._

_"I'm sorry I yelled at you, Monika," he says, his voice noticeably quieter. I whimper at his gentle tone, knowing that it was the last time I'll hear it. "It's just--"_

_I look up at him, trying to stop my tears. "Just let me go, please."_

_He tries to grab my arm but I pull it back. His eyes were full of hurt before turning into pure hatred._

_"Fine, just go. I'll get you back later."_

_I still went home, only turning to him to say one thing._

_"The literature club forgives you, Haru."_

_"Tell them to go fuck themselves."_

_I solemnly nod and walked out the door, shutting the door behind me._

* * *

"Haru shot up the school a few weeks later. I cut all complete contact with him after that. In fact, I never actually saw him again." I smile bitterly, knowing that Haru has seen a few people after he disappeared. "But do you know what differs from you and Haru?"

"What?" Sayori still had a tinge of sadness in her voice. However, her tears were dried from hearing my stories, which pleased me.

"That I actually wanted to be with you. Gosh, you were all I could think about back then. I was so hopeless!" I pause, thinking. "Wait I'm still hopeless, subtract that." Sayori and I giggled at my little remark before we got serious again.

"Seriously, you're nothing like him. You're kind, friendly and actually respect me. I wouldn't have come back if you were like him. I really love you, Sayori."

Sayori and I both flushed but giggled. Sure, we weren't used to affection but it felt so sweet in our hearts.

"Yuri and Natsuki too! If they haven't convinced me to break it off, I would have been farther from you. I didn't even know it was that bad..." I smile bitterly again, seeing how oblivious I was the first time. I shouldn't have my friends notice the flaws in my relationships before me. I'm so stupid...

But I still broke it off at the right time. That's a plus.

Sayori places a hand on my shoulder, recognizing the scowl on my face. She looks at me embarrassed, a light flush on her face.

"Hey."

"Hmm?"

"Do you still love him?"

I frowned, eyeing her. "I love you more."

"I know that, silly." She playfully flicks my nose, smiling slightly. "But somewhere, somehow, do you still love him?"

I froze.

I remember after breaking up with Haru, I still felt like I truly deeply loved him. I began thinking irrationally. I cried for hours days at a time. I even stopped going to school for a period of time.

I can't deny that I loved him dearly. I will never deny that.

However slowly I started going back to school. Then, to the literature club. Even after Haru shot up the school, I kept going.

There were slow steps and there were times I stopped completely just to sob loudly and to yell why the fuck is this happening to me. But I kept moving.

I believed something will come out from all of this. Something will come out from this hurting and suffering I went through. What I'm still going through, really.

Words can't describe how thankful I am to have Sayori, Natsuki, and Yuri my best friends. The Literature Club is really all I need to be happy anywhere. It's that 'something' that I have been striving for so long.

Now that I think about it, all those screams, fights and sobs were worth it. The longing in my heart for Haru is gone and now replaced with the love I have for my club mates. The love I have for Sayori.

I have truly found my special day.

"Not at all."

-

"Oh, you guys came back?" Natsuki rubs her eyes, drowsily staring at us.

"Did we wake you?"

"No, I was going to help Yuri make breakfast anyways."

"You passed out on me!" Yuri yells from the kitchen.

"It wasn't my fault that you keep me awake last night!"

Me and Sayori glance at the two for some kind of explanation. Natsuki flushes when she realizes her mistake.

"What did you guys--"

"GET YOUR HEADS OUT OF THE GUTTER, BAKAS!"

"W-we weren't doing anything l-last night, I-I swear! I-It was just an m-mess up on N-Nats part."

"Nickname basis I see~"

"Shut up Monika!"

I laughed, shutting the door behind me. Sayori wordlessly takes off her shoes, though I could see a hint of a smile on her face.

"So, how are you feeling Sayori," Yuri says finally stepping out of the kitchen. She looks like she regained herself minus the light flush still burning on her face.

"Better than earlier," she replies honestly. "Though I am still slightly tired from all of those pain medications they gave me. They're not fun at all!"

"I told you to sleep it off," I say.

"But it was fun then!"

I sigh, head patting Sayori. She pouts, conflicted with her own emotions.

"Anyways how long till breakfast will be ready."

"About an hour since _someone_ didn't wake up in time," Yuri mutters. Natsuki sticks out her tongue. "Why?"

"Well, I need to talk to you guys about something..."

Yuri eyes me, surprised. I nod at her, knowing what I'm doing.

I have to do this, there's no perfect time than now.

Yuri eventually smiles at me, respecting my decision.

However, Sayori and Natsuki glanced at each, unease creeping upon their faces. "The first time you did this we all moved in together..."

"And the second time you did this our whole families got murdered!"

The air in the room became thin suddenly. The girls seemed to get self-conscious, averting their eyes.

I would say that it isn't that bad, but it is. We have never been that far apart before. Me moving to Florida might not only hurt the literature club but our friendship itself.

So instead I said, "It's not about killing or murder. I-It's just...saddening."

Natsuki and Sayori lifted their heads up, their eyes sparkling and about to brim with tears.

"Come on, tell it then."

Yuri walks over and places her hand up. "I've got this," she whispered. I give her a thankful glance.

Yuri clears her throat, closes her eyes to take a deep breath, and readies her self.

When she opens her eyes, she's too were brimming with tears. And yet, there was burning confidence in those purple veils.

"M-Monika's going away in two days!"

And instantly, it all clicked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow hi.
> 
> I've been out a whole week to adjust to school. Now, I'm back and better than ev-
> 
> That's a lie Doki Doki Exit Music and Doki Doki Salvation made me sad this week. Check those mods out by the way, their very good!


	17. 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sunday, October 11, 2017  
> -
> 
> "But sometimes when all the laughter dies down and everything's quiet I can't shake the feeling of being guilty.
> 
> That my friends are going to be sad without me.  
> That Haru is targeting them just for me.  
> That I rebelled against everything I was raised with.
> 
> Deep down, I'm still that insecure child from ~~six~~ ~~four~~ two years ago."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoops I'm late! sorry

"Oh..."

Sayori and Natsuki glanced at each other, smiling nervously.

"Oh."

As we stood confused, Sayori and Natsuki chuckle to themselves. Tears began to prick in their eyes from laughing too hard.

Oh...hehe...that took long enough!" Natsuki finally exclaims, looking at us through blurry eyes.

"We were wondering when you were going to tell us!" Sayori giggles. "It's two days before your trip silly!"

Yuri quickly gets flustered. "Did you guys knew already?" They nod.

"We knew since the outing last week!"

Yuri's blush gets darker as she stammers. "Y-You listened to our conversation?!"

"Sayori. Accidentally."

"Hey! You listened too!"

"You dragged me into it!"

"Hey, hold on!" I say, stopping the two from bickering. "What's actually is going on?"

Sayori turns and chuckles awkwardly. "Maybe we should tell them the full story." Natsuki seemed to consider this and nods.

"It was after I came home to the mall that one day."

* * *

_Sayori smiles once she gets in the house, knowing she's safe. She just brought a brand new phone from the mall, exactly like her old one._

_Haru just sold her old one, which sucked since she liked that one. It also sucked because she's almost a thousand dollars in debt thanks from him selling it._

_She stares at her phone, smiling sadly. The things she does for that man._

_She puts the phone in her pocket and looks around the house. It seemed too quiet and lonely. She is pretty sure that Monika and Yuri should be here._

_Instead, she found nothing._

_Sayori frowns, knowing that they are here. She races upstairs, trying to find the two._

_Mine's..no_

_Natsuki's... not there_

_Yuri's... nope_

_Monika's--_

_Sayori freezes when she sees the light on in Monika's bedroom. The two light voices ringed into the small hallway. Yuri's was filled with worry while Monika's was full of reassurance._

_Sayori frowns knowing that it was a serious conversation. She hopes that they are okay. She only wants the best for her friends._

_She was about to walk to her own room before Monika says something she'd probably didn't want to hear._

_"I...um... bought plane tickets already."_

_"Oh. When are you suppose to leave?"_

_"In two weeks."_

_Sayori mutes her gasp, turning back towards the room._

_Monika's leaving..?_

~~_Is it because of me?_ ~~

_She couldn't breathe, nevertheless move. It felt like her whole world grounded to a halt. She wouldn't know what do with herself without Moni. She would've died if wasn't here._

_And now she's leaving. The truth echoed into her very core._

_"Monika, isn't that too late of a time?" Yuri starts again suddenly, snapping Sayori out of her thoughts._

_"It's the earliest in my budget," Monika says calmly._

_"I could easily-"_

_"No. I promised myself to not take other people's money. This trip is my responsibility."_

_This trip is her... responsibility? And why Yuri's not against it? This whole conversation is making her head hurt. Nevertheless, the conversation goes on._

_"But--"_

_"No 'buts' Yuri."_

_Sayori hears Yuri sighs deeply._

_"Very well." Yuri's voice is close to tears at this point. Sayori fights the urge to go comfort her. "Anyway, when do you plan on telling them?"_

_"I don't know... I want it to be as soon as possible. But still, I want the other stuff to sink in first."_

_She's talking about the...deaths. Sayori could her feel her mood spoil more thinking about them._

_She backs into the wall, trying to not turn into a crying heap. She knows that all of this is caused by one person. The person she's working for. The person she loves and yet wants to curse his name over and over._

_It's her fault._

_Her own fault._

~~ _She deserves to die._ ~~

_"Sayo-"_

_She looks up to see Natsuki looking worriedly at her. Her breath hitch as she thinks of a solution. Suddenly she grabs Natsuki and ran towards her room, locking the door swiftly._

_"Sayori what--" She takes one look at Sayori and her angry demeanor vanishes. A frown appears on her face. "What's going on?"_

_Sayori turns to Natsuki, trying to keep a smile on her face. It crumbles and eventually, she does too._

_Silent sobs racked her body as sinks. The happy reality she wanted in her mind couldn't fathom this news._

_She didn't even realize that someone else was there until they pulled her into a hug._

_"E-Even if I don't know what's going on. Just know that I'm with you too." Sayori could hear Natsuki's hesitation in her voice. And yet, she still bothered to calm her. "Even if I don't act like it, I-I care for you dummies."_

_"Natsuki..."_

_"Shush. Don't talk if you don't feel like it."_

_Sayori nods slowly, feeling another wave of sobs ready to spill any moment._

_Even with her heart filled with grief, she still felt happy that she had great friends._

* * *

_"So you're saying that Monika's going far away?"_

_Sayori nods._

_"And that he has something to do with it?"_

_Sayori nods again._

_"Do you know when she's coming back?" Natsuki's voice hints of anger and sadness, breaking Sayori's heart._

_Seeing the look on her face as she shakes her head no pains her even more._

_"Damn. That sucks."_

_Sayori wordlessly gets up and unlocks the door, surprising Natsuki._

_"Where are you going?"_

_"I'm not going to mope around and wait for her to leave! I'm going to make these weeks the greatest!"_  
_She meant it with all of her heart._

_Natsuki sat shocked for awhile before smirking. "Mind if I help?"_

_"Nope!"_

_Wiping their tears, the two skipped over to Monika's room, knocking on the door. Monika answered eventually, pale for some reason._

_"Moni! Yuri! You're invited to our first annual family outing!"_

* * *

"I know last week wasn't the _'greatest'_ week that we had, but it was fun, wasn't it? All I wanted was to spend fun times with you." Sayori looks up at me teary-eyed. Her voice broke a long time ago, but she still wore a genuine smile.

"Now that I did... I won't be that sad if you go. I have Natsuki and Yuri anyways! I'm sure that they'll take good care of me." She gestured to the two who quickly get flustered. Sayori laughs lightly, turning towards me again.

"What I'm saying is we'll be okay right here. It's not like we'll going to lose contact anyways! We can still call and text each other..." She clasps her hands, trying to keep her sobs to herself. Still, large tears spilled over, bouncing off her flushed cheeks. Her sad smile kept its place.

"Just come home soon, okay?"

Then it hits me. I won't be able to see Sayori's smiles again. Or Natsuki's flustered retorts. Or Yuri's nervous laughter. It never occurred to me that it will hurt so much to part from those little details.

Details flood me by storm. The way Sayori's eyes shines the emotion she's feeling. The intensity of Yuri blush when she hides it with a book or her hair. The tune Natsuki hums when she thinks nobody's listening.

It never occurred to me how much I'll miss them.

Are they thinking the same thing right now? Will they miss the weird details about me?  
As I gazed at their faces, I immediately knew the answer.

"I promise."

Sayori's smile grew wider, her eyes sparkling. She sobs again, this time because of happiness. "M-Moni..."

"Run. She'll hold you on that forever," Natsuki chuckles.

"Natsuki! It's not the time," Yuri hushes.

Sayori giggles. "Guys It's alright!"

"You're still crying, this is unacceptable." I sigh under my breath before revealing a small smile. "Let's cheer you up with some frozen yogurt!"

Sayori grins. "Really?"

"It's on me."

And together, we explored the town one last time.

* * *

_"May I go to the bathroom?" I say, raising my hand. The teacher only nods before going on with his lecture. I hurried out of the classroom and broke._

_The first year of high school has been hell. It's just like the school back in Florida. Test grades and expectations breathing down my back. Judgemental girls and jockey boys fill the hallway. It seems there's nobody here that doesn't expect nothing out of me._

_I don't blame them, though. I am the most popular girl in school._

_It wasn't like I wanted to be the most popular. It started with the expectations Mother gave me. And then the debate club. It's gotten to the point that I cannot take off my mask at all at school. It's exhausting acting on top of things. I just want to be free._

_Nobody understands that but Auntie, and now she's gone._

_When my anxiety gets really bad, I usually just break in the bathroom. The farthest one from the lunch room where nobody goes to, of course. I thought about taking anxiety pills to keep this in control, but the truth is I'm scared._

_I'm scared of what other people think. What other people will say. I'm scared for my popularity to topple, even though I don't care for it much._

_I'm scared for people to leave me._

_I'm scared for almost everything people can do. It's amazing how much authority people minds have over me. If they push far enough, I might even kill myself._

_I shake the thought out of my head, slowly coming out of the bathroom stall. It's irrational to think these things and yet I still do. Is it the loneliness inside of me or the longing to be free? I don't know myself enough to answer that. Thankfully, I don't have time to, anyway._

_I splash some water on my face, washing off my tears. Smiling, I examined myself to see if I had any evidence of my break down. As per usual, I didn't._

_I slipped out of the bathroom silently, walking to my class. I've might miss a subject or two in my current class but that didn't matter. I could always just cram everything when I get home--_

_"Heyyyooo!"_

_I turned to see a coral haired girl with a small red bow waving at me. She had bright blue eyes and small plump cheeks. Her blazer was strangely unbuttoned, showing the rest of her uniform. She smiles at me when she sees she has my attention._

_I faintly remember this girl from my calculus class this year. It was hard to tell since she sits in the fair back, often sleeping during lectures._

_"Hey Monika," she says when she catches up to me._

_"Sayori, right?"_

_She nods. "I recognized you from my calculus class so I just had to say hi! Where are you going?"_

_"Oh, I'm just going back to my English class. Where you're heading?"_

_"To science," she says, pouting. "It's so boring there! We don't even do fun sciencey stuff anymore."_

_I giggle lightly. "Now that I think about it, science is quite dull... Just listening to the teacher talk is enough to put anyone to sleep."_

_Sayori laughs with me. "And my parents wonder why my grades are so low!"_

_We talked until we have to part ways, vowing to see each other in Calculus after the next couple periods. When she skipped away, I cautiously put a hand next to my cheek. It flushed a light red from laughing too much._

_Something in me says she's different than my others. Could she be my first true friend?_

_Ultimately, even the thought of a real friend made me grin._

* * *

I woke up groggily, rubbing my eyes. The faint, soft, light of the sun was peaking slowly through the window. I stretched, yawning quietly before my scanning the room. The other girls were also there. We probably read together until we passed out. Natsuki was sleeping near the closet while Sayori was on the bed. Yuri was nowhere to be found.

I didn't worry much, thinking she was in the bathroom. However, when I went downstairs to get a drink, she was downstairs. She was wearing her gym clothes, a purple tracksuit with a white stripe. When she sees me, she smiles, pointing to the door.

"Want to go on a run?"

I held my breath to not exclaim a loud squeal. "Really?"

"It's your final full day, isn't it?"

I grinned, nodding. My drowsiness vanishes completely. "What are we waiting for? Let's go!"

* * *

Yuri and I ran the usual mile, however, instead of going back home, we sat on a nearby bench to regain our breaths.

"It's...haa...great to be back out here," Yuri says facing the sky. "It's amazing how much I missed this."

"It's what's three weeks of not working out does to you!" I exclaimed, full of energy. We both laugh.

"Say, what are you going to do in Florida, anyway?"

"I dunno. Play some games, plant some flowers, explore the beaches. What interesting places are in Florida, anyway?"

"I heard some theme parks are around there."

"Ooo! If we all go up there we can go to Disney World sometime!" Both of us knew that it was an irrational thought. We currently don't have that much money and with a death threat hanging between us and everyone we know and love there's no way we could go.

It's a nice thought, though.  
All of us having fun.

But sometimes when all the laughter dies down and everything's quiet I can't shake the feeling of being guilty.

That my friends are going to be sad without me.  
That Haru is targeting them just for me.  
That I rebelled against everything I was raised with.

Deep down, I'm still that insecure child from ~~six~~ ~~four~~ two years ago.

Is that why I was so against love in the first place? Because I was taught it was an addicting drug that you can't pull away from? In a way it was true but, in my sixteen years in living, I've never felt happier with it! To part from it makes me sad, it makes me feel guilty.

I finally know why.

I finally know why..!

Keeping my thoughts to myself, I looked over to Yuri, who was looking at the sky. It was the time of day for the sunrise, wasn't it? The clouds look sad.

They're sad, just like two years ago.

Without a warning, a droplet falls on the bench. Then another and another, until suddenly, a downpour begins. Yuri and I still stared at the sky. Our hair wet, our clothes soaked, and yet our eyes sparkling.

And while looking at that sunrise, the raindrops, the gray clouds, all of it! While looking at the colorful sky, I remember a past I locked deep inside me. A past I never looked at till now, because that part of my life was I considered over.

A single thought pops into mind, all the others vanishing completely.

I never really had a childhood, didn't I?

Before I knew it, I was spinning in the rain, without a care in a world.

_They forced me to be the 'perfect student'._

The laughter that was bubbling inside me for who knows long sparked out of my lips, the sound cheerful and light.

_They never let me have the type of friends I wanted to have._

Eventually, tears came down. Teenager's me pent out frustration and loneliness burst out into a period of sobs I couldn't control.

_They never let me play games, or watch movies, or love them._

Yet I still laugh and smile because for the first time I realized for the first time that I could still make up for lost time.

_Jobs and scholarships and work piled upon work depended on my time._

For the first time, I realized that my childhood wasn't out of my reach just yet. I just need to keep going.

_All this time I was thinking how I needed to be independent and strong, Even with the girls, I needed to cast out things like guilt or anxiety because adults don't think those things. But I'm not an adult!_

For the first time, I realized I never danced in the rain before.

"FUCK YOU MOTHER! FUCK YOU FATHER!" I stared at the sky, hoping that they can hear me. Laughter, tears, and overwhelming emotion danced as sparks in my eyes.

"FUCK WORK! FUCK SCHOLARSHIPS! FUCK JOBS! FUCK IT ALL! SEPTEMBER 22 2001 WAS THE DAY I WAS BORN. I'M SIXTEEN YEARS OLD. I'M GOING TO BE A TEENAGER AND NOBODY IS GOING TO STOP ME!"

I pant heavily, leaning on my knees. It's exhausting to yell but god knows I needed this.

"haaa...haaa...Sunrises...are awesome."

Yuri giggles from her spot from the bench. I realized that she was watching this whole thing and... I even didn't care.

I'm going to make the most out of my childhood, right here right now! Florida's not going to stop me! Haru's not going to stop me! Not even my parents will stop me!

I stood up finally, filled with confidence. The same confidence I had three weeks ago but I don't intend to lose it.

"I'm going to another run," I say. Yuri laughs quietly at my enthusiasm, getting up from her spot from the bench. "Don't leave without me!"

We ran faster and worked harder, moving along the beat-up dirt trail. Laughter sprung out of my lips once again and Yuri's small determined smile accompanied it. The downpour only got more powerful, making the dirt trail muddy. I didn't care.

In the end, I slipped. Mud got all over my gym clothes, the cold muddy sensation making me shiver. I knew I've should be ashamed for dirting my clothes, but I didn't care.

I've longed to do this stuff for the longest time.

Yuri holds up a hand to help me up after regaining her breath for a while. I stared for it before grabbing it and pulling her down with me.

She laughs, brushing her hair back. "Monika you're so immature!"

"That's the point!"

We laughed some more before regaining our breath for the third time today. However, eventually, the laughter died down, leaving us with calming silence.

We embraced the silence before Yuri cuts it. Her voice a gentler tone from the laughing, smiling one.

"Are your parents still...talking to you?" I stared at her, surprised for her to just bring that up casually. Normally we don't bring up my parents a lot. I usually just shut off or avoid the topic anyway.

 

 

-

_Keep yourself in check Monika. Nobody could see what you truly feel. Nobody could see what you truly have to say. That will only break the illusion._

_Do you understand, my little girl?_

 

-

  
_Those are not your friends, Monika. Their poor, dumb, deceitful peasants! Look at how they act! Pitiful!_

_Now let's go to L̴̨͔͕͙̥͂̑͒̃̆͌͌̓̆̕͝͝ï̸̧̜̝̦̠̣͙̣̳̈́̓͐͆̋͊͑̊̐̏́͊ȩ̵̩̘̰̝̲̖̼͊̓̄̆̊̏̋͋͘̚̚̕͜r̵̟͉̯̮͙̈́͒̍̋͝'s house! He's a much better fit for you!_

 

-

  
_Breaks are not given when you're a doctor Honey! Now go back into your room and study!_

 

_-_

 

I hiss while unforgettable memories made themselves known once again. A whirlwind of memories to make my stomach hurl. And yet, I answer her.

"Not anymore. I've deleted their contacts and everything after..."

Yuri solemnly nods already knowing what I was about to say.

"I still feel like their controlling my life somehow. After all, it's hard getting rid of fifteen years of tradition."

"I-I think I know what you mean," Yuri says, sighing.

"Imagine straying from fifteen years of cutting. Or fighting from fifteen years of depression. Or get used to being safe from fifteen years of abuse. It hurts, and you want to go back on solely because it was the 'norm'. It was the only thing you knew won't go away. And when's that's absent you feel like the whole world has been flipped upside down."

She looks at the sky, holding up a palm to catch the raindrops in. "Everything except your heart is pleading to crawl back to it, But don't listen to those. Your heart knows you the most." She smiles, emitting a chuckle. "From this morning I see that you listen to your heart indefinitely."

I smile. "Thanks, Yur--"

Some thunder cuts me off, booming off in the distance. "I think we should go."

Yuri nods, lifting herself up. "If we stay outside any longer we might get sick."

"Oh really?" I say, lifting myself too. "Then we probably get a full on cold when we get home. It's almost a mile away~"

"Don't remind me."

I laugh as we walk home together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's so many chapter references here lol


	18. 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tuesday, October 13, 2017  
> -  
> "Hello again, Monika."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there, it's been 84 years but I am here to post another chapter!  
> Yes, this fic and I have been on hiatus for like almost two months because of real life stuff. I have so many crack fics to catch up on! But before that, I have to give you this chapter! It's a long one because I feel guilty and want to hook you up on some high quality feels shit. Buckle your seatbelts, there's lots of crying!
> 
> Also, this story has over seventy kudos now! What. Thank you guys so much for the support. I love your appreciation for this series so much! Now, without further ado, here's the newest chapter in this messy, heartwarming, and fluffy story!

I absent-mindedly scroll through my phone, looking for nothing interesting. It wasn't like I was looking at my feed, anyways. My eyes always seemed to glide over to the time.

5:48 am

5:52 am

6:00 am

It's two hours till I leave. I sigh, immediately stopping my alarm clock before it started.

If someone told me how was I feeling, I would say that I didn't know. It's a mixture of sadness and excitement, with this overwhelming childish confidence I still had from yesterday. All I feel is that, somehow, everything will turn out all right.

I know when the time finally comes to part I'll sob. Or when I finally meet Auntie again, I will be overcome with happiness. Or when I meet Haru again, if I meet Haru again, I will be fueled by a ruthless determination to give justice to me and to all that suffered because of him.

I stretched, turning my phone off. There was no time to think about those things right now. It's time to get ready for today!

After taking a hot shower, I came back to see what's in my closet which wasn't much. I already packed earlier today, but there are still clothes that couldn't fit inside. One of the things was my old yellow sundress.

I haven't seen it in a long time since it was in the far back of my closet. It was one of the first clothes I ever put in there. I smiled at the dress before scrolling through more clothes hangers.

The rest of the clothes were regular, cheap things I probably brought of a thrift mart long ago. The only thing that wasn't was...

The dress I brought with Yuri? When did that get there? I picked up the dress, eyeing it carefully. It still had that rich green glow with the shimmer of the back belt. It was absolutely beautiful.

I grinned. I guess I'll wear it.

The rest of the dressing process wasn't a hassle. I only had on minor things like the earrings I brought a week ago and some stockings since it's slowly becoming cold.

Warming myself up, I go downstairs to the coffee machine. Taking a sip, I looked out the window. I saw that it was still drizzling. The thunderstorm from yesterday seemed to die down a lot though. That was a huge relief to everyone, the storm appeared to hole us up all day yesterday.

Grabbing my vacant bag nearby, I finish reading my book. It was a beautiful book full of dramatic plot twists and saddening scenes. And yet, the characters still got their happy ending. I'm so glad that the author came out of hiatus to create such a great book.

I can't help smiling at the final page.

There's a bittersweet moment when finishing books. You know their stories are done and their adventure is over, and yet, there's a sting in your heart to let them go. I just hope they're living a carefree life and put it back on the bookshelf, remembering to read it anew someday. A book never should be forgotten. But now, I have a person to proceed to read and enjoy for me.

As soon as Yuri came downstairs, I ran to her.

"I finished!" I say, smiling.

"O-Oh?"

"It's a really great story, Yuri. I can't wait for you to read it."

Yuri eyed the book and to me nervously.

"Y-You're giving it to me?"  
  
"Yeah! I already saw it ahead of time!"

Yuri's eyes soften as she smiles. "Thank you."

I grinned as I handed her the book. "No problem. Just read with caution in chapter three~!"

"Chapter three..? M-Monika!"

I, who had slipped and is now on the stairway laughed. "Spoilers!" I could hear Yuri sigh as I skipped back upstairs.

Grabbing my phone from my room, I quickly check the time.

6:28 am  
An hour and thirty-two minutes till I leave.

Sighing, I yelled in the hallway. "Hey guys, we don't have much time!"

Natsuki loudly sighs in her room. I'll take she's awake. Sayori, however, doesn't stir.

Her door is locked.

"Sayori?"

Sayori's room is silent before a surprisingly not groggy voice chime in. "I'm okay Moni! I'm just picking out clothes!"

It wasn't long till she opens her door.

"Can you help me pick?"

"Okay!"

Sayori drags me into her room, smiling. On her bed was two dresses, a red one or a blue one. Her two favorite colors.

"I don't know which one to wear," she says. "They both look very pretty!"

Me, not being the best at fashion (I mostly wear the school uniform anyway) said this trip was only going to take a minute, so she didn't need to worry what she looked like.

"But I want to look good for you, silly!" She kisses me and turns back turning back to her clothes. I blush immediately, smiling stupidly. Sayori somehow didn't notice, smiling as she thought deeply. I wished she knew looked so beautiful just like that.

"Okay, I'll go get ready too." She nods, giving a thumbs up. I laughed before cheerfully walking down the stairs.

Yuri was still downstairs alone when I came back. Natsuki was weirdly still locked up in her room. I hope that she is okay, she was just coped in her house less than a week ago. But how would that make her--

I immediately stop myself. Today's not the day for him.

Yuri looked over her shoulder and smiled at me. "Hey," she says quietly. Her voice was low and calm, a normal tone for her.

"Did you tell Nats yet?" Yuri's face heats up as she studders.

"N-No! I was e-embarrassed!"

I laughed. "Awh, I wanted a confession before I leave," I whine. Yuri frowns, her face is still a raging wildfire. "My heart isn't ready."

"Of course, of course! I will never rush you! Just make sure you text me~"

"Monika!" We laugh again before Natsuki and Sayori came down. Sayori skipped downstairs in her sapphire blue dress. She also had her puffy red bow and red shiny earrings.

Meanwhile, Natsuki had a pink skirt and a white blouse. Though she looks weak and her face was quite pale. It was almost like she was previously throwing up.

"Natsuki are you okay?" Yuri says almost immediately. Natsuki scoffs, rolling her eyes. "I'm fine, chill." She seems to wave this off but I see Yuri eyeing her carefully. After a moment's hesitation, Sayori smiles slightly at her, choosing to not ask her concerning questions. "Your outfit looks great anyway!" She exclaims, changing the topic. Natsuki lifts an eyebrow and grins. "Is it because you picked it out?"

"Yep!"

Natsuki sighs deeply as Sayori laughs, patting her shoulder.  
"Hey," I say, winking. "She isn't wrong."

"Don't encourage her," Natsuki groans. Sayori yells in protest.

"Do encourage me! I did well picking out those outfits!" She points to an unexpected Yuri who jumps from the attention. "Yuri! Isn't she cute?"

"Hey, what did I say about calling me--"

"Y-Yes. Y-You look really cute today, N-Natsuki."

The room suddenly goes silent. Sayori smiles at herself, knowing her plan worked if she even had a plan. I try to keep from giggling at Natsuki's and Yuri's faces, both red and shocked.

"E-Eh? Eh?! D-Don't call me cute, stupid!" Natsuki tries to hide her flush, staring at the ground. However, she couldn't as it shines like ambulance lights.

"It's three against one Natsuki. You are officially cute!"

"Oh, you little..." Natsuki chases Sayori around the room, yelling flustered retorts at her. I giggle, making no move to help the defenseless Sayori at all. Yuri hides her flustered face with her hair, groaning.

"I'm going to die."

I turned, waving her off. "Everything will be fine!"

"I can't see how you could be so nonchalant."

"Remember, I have a lot of experience."

"That's not helping." Yuri sighs, facepalming. Remembering something, I skipped off leaving Yuri to her flustered dilemma. It sure is lively here. I would have never expected it since I'm leaving today. Maybe our good moods mean something. Good luck or something? I brush the questions off, grabbing my suitcase from my room. Whatever it is, I'm am happy that everyone's smiling today.

After carrying my suitcase downstairs, Sayori hides behind me, shielding herself from an angry Natsuki.

"Take it back!" Natsuki says. Her face was still hot as she panted for breath.

"No! You're cute and I love you!" Sayori dunks behind me, grabbing on my arm for dear life.

"Don't make too much of a havoc guys!" I say, fully knowing they won't, but wanted to remind them regardless.

"Moni! Help me out here!"

"You kinda put yourself in this mess~"

"You agreed to it!" Sayori pouts, making herself completely clear for Natsuki to attack. I guess Natsuki saw this too and immediately pinned Sayori to the ground.

"Take it back Sayori!"

"No!"

"I'm warning that I'm not going to go easy on you!"

"I don't care!"

Both Natsuki and Sayori were laughing by this point, completely forgetting why they were doing this in the first place. I leaned against the wall, interested in how this will turn out.

Natsuki raised her hand and tickled Sayori, making her howl in laughter.

"Come on Sayori! You can't hold it in for long."

"N-Never!"

This continued for not very long as Sayori gave in pretty early on. Still, Natsuki wasn't finished.

"Say it again."

"Ehehe... I'm sorry!"

"For what?"

"F-For calling you cute!"

Natsuki raises an eyebrow and smiles, getting off of Sayori. "Knew it."

"You defeated me with overpowered forces," Sayori pouts, standing up as well.

"It's not my fault that I have quick fingers and Monika on my side. Thanks for showing me that spot by the way."

I put my hands up, showing it's no big deal. "No problem."

"Hey! Now you defeated me with overpowered and cheating forces!"

"Want to have a rematch then?"

Sayori shifts nervously, chuckling. "N-no thanks!"

Natsuki smiles for a bit before her eyes gaze over to me. "Don't you have somewhere to go..?"

Something clicks in me and all at once I am grabbing my suitcase. "Oh, right!" I check my phone to see that there are only thirty-three minutes until my train comes! "Guys get going! We're going to be late at this rate!"

I quickly ran down to the door and slipped on my shoes, opening the door instantaneously. The ground and trees were glistening with sparkling rain. The sky was a more vibrant blue than yesterday, greeting us with gentle light.

Grabbing my umbrella, I prepared my last walk in this town.

* * *

"Eh?!"

I stared in disbelief at the train's monitor. The small white letters and numbers stared back, their meaning irritating me. I groan, facepalming. My train had a delay of ten minutes. Are you kidding me? I sighed, I came here completely on time too, despite having the risk of being late.

Walking back to my group, I looked at the sky. Ten minutes wasn't that bad. I have extra minutes to be with my friends too. I wonder why I have so much good luck today.

By the time I walked back to our spot the ten-minute extra wait time turned into eight. We were very far from the train monitors anyway, waiting on the far side.

"The train is delayed. I've should've known-" I stopped in my tracks when I saw a glimpse of Sayori's eyes, red and puffy. "Are you okay Sayo?"

"I'm great!" Sayori exclaims.

"But-"

"Don't question it," Natsuki, who was in between Sayori and Yuri, interrupts. Her bored gaze somehow warmed me. Yuri merely nods, smiling. I sigh, sitting next to Sayori.

"Okayyy, you guys are weird."

"You are too."

I thought deeply for a second. "...True, but you guys are extra weird today. Excitement?"

"Butterflies," Yuri quietly explained. Sayori nods energetically.

"Oh, that makes more sense."

"Don't worry, we'll be fine!" Sayori wraps me into a tight hug. "Yuri will help with the billing stuff, Natsuki will make sure the house is cozy, and I will do everything else! I'm pretty sure we will be perfectly fine but...you." She trails off, averting her eyes. The hug got looser. "He might come and everything won't be perfectly fine and that's what we're worried for. So... So..." She twiddles her finger against her cast nervously.

I smiled gently, rubbing Sayori's hair softly. "I'll be fine, really. I'm sure Haru won't go to such a public space alone and I'm pretty sure Auntie has her gun license..." My smile vanished as my eyes bored into the three of theirs. "By that point, I do have the right to end his life."

I don't mention the very low chance of failing to do so. My butterflies.

"Woah, that's dark."

"I'll do everything I need to get justice for us." If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't need to go alone like this. Our butterflies will disappear. Everything then would be 'perfectly fine'.

But I don't say this. Instead, I smile.

"Right on!" Sayori cheers, pumping a fist in the air. Natsuki grins while Yuri holds up a smaller, less energetic, fist in the air.

"I grant you all of my wishes," She says softly. Natsuki scoffs at her.

"She's basically saying beat that shit to the ground." Yuri averts her eyes bashfully but doesn't say anything.

Suddenly a large gust of air sweeps through the area. The loud sound of steel brushing against itself explodes throughout the station until it stops almost instantly after.

At the same time, my heart drops from my chest.

At the same time, I'm immediately counting the number of nails in this bench instead of my irregular breathing. How stupid I was to skip taking my anxiety medicine until later because I was running late.

At the same time, I realized that I needed to face my fears head on because this moment not only decided how much danger I'm in, but how much for my friends, how much for my aunt, and how much for everyone else I care about.

So I tear away my gaze from the very tempting nails on the bench and stood up, although shaking wildly because I'll do anything to make sure their safe and sound.

Without realizing it, I dove right into their arms because I'm weak to the trembles in my heart when I think of leaving them for such a long time. My heartbeat slowed my the warmth of them but tears gathered in my eyes realizing it would be the last.  
Slowly they spill.  
Dripping, dripping, down my cheeks and onto my dress. Love and sadness dripping onto the floor like the seconds until I go.

I smile, feeling the others tears on my back. Outcries joined together. Love and sadness of the seconds dripping on the floor left to never be regained again.

I smile knowing I'm not alone.

"I love you three so much. Please know that I love you guys so much!"

"We love you too Moni!" Sayori says, a bit muffled and strained. "W-We love you too!"

I finally let go from a hug that seemed to last years but really only seconds. All three of them were smiling brightly, tears pooled in their eyes.

"Stay safe Monika."

"Don't manage to pull yourself in some deep shit somehow."

"We'll be waiting for you to return!"

I giggled, choking back a sob yet again. "I'll come back soon!"

After giving Sayori a quick but passionate kiss, I picked up my suitcase and umbrella and walked towards the train. Looking back to see the smiles of my dearest friends, I show a brighter one back.

The train's doors close with a silent hiss and quickly the train starts back up again. I push through mountains of people to get to a window in the back. Sitting at the window seat, I waved at the three bodies that rapidly became smaller and smaller to see until they weren't able to be seen at all.

I relaxed, wiping my tears. The hard part is over, Monika. The hard part is over.

* * *

_< 3 Sayobae <3_

_Sayo: Woah this is going to be so exciting_

_Sayo: You're going to be in a different TIMEZONE than us!_

_Sayo: It's practically like being in the future_

_Moni: Being in the future isn't worth jet lag's pounding headache_

_Sayo: Come on Monika! It's only going to last a day!_

_Moni: We'll see_  
-

It's been sometime after I first got on the train. We all had some time to adjust and calm down. Causally texting Sayori, I looked out the window. The whirling images of trees, streets, and people passed me by. Ten more minutes until my stop is reached and I'll be going on a plane, finally leaving this city.

I'll be back in the town I was born in.

In my suitcase, Auntie's address, crumbled and torn over the years but still legible. I'll be able to go to her again without the boundaries of Mother and Father. Maybe, just maybe, I could protect her as she did me years ago too.

I always wanted to go see her after I cut out my parents from my life, but I couldn't. I don't have the money to fly all of us to Florida. Being alone was worse, loneliness hurts, so I saved it for that 'someday'. Now that someday has come in more than an urgent way than what is preferred. The loneliness still hurts but the fear of losing her is stronger and here I'm am, watching the trees pass by.

A buzz emits from my lap. I must've forgotten that I was still talking to Sayo.

-

_< 3 Sayobae <3_

_Sayo: Moni you haven't replied to me in a while so your probably having butterflies_

_Sayo: Don't give in, we believe in you!_

_Sayo: ISendAllMyLoveAndSupport.jpg_

_Moni: Pfft_  
-

I smile, she knows me too well.

-  
_Sayo: Yes! My plan worked!_

_Moni: You win. You win._

_Sayo: Hurray victory!_  
-

Sayori was about to type something else before she went immediately offline. I frown, something's up again.

-  
_Moni: Hello?_

_{Sayo is online}_

_Sayo: Sorry about that, I had to do something_

_Moni: Was it Natsuki?_

_{Sayo is typing...}_

_{Sayo is typing..}_

_{Sayo is typing.}_

_Sayo: yea she's sick again_

_Moni: Again?_

_Sayo: she was throwing up this morning but told me to keep a secret because she wanted to send you off_

_Sayo: and the minute after you left she couldn't hold it in anymore_

_Sayo: do you think he really did it?_

_{Moni is typing...}_

_Moni: If she is, it would be perfectly normal for her to have morning sickness_

_Moni: Especially today of all days_

_Sayo: I can't help but be worried about her_

_Sayo: Anything and everything can go wrong!_

_Sayo: She's still sixteen Moni! Not to mention she's still malnourished and small. I don't think her body could take it_

_Sayo: But oh god that pill will make her feel worst_

_Moni: Calm down Sayori_

_Moni: We don't know if it's a baby or a stomach bug yet. And if it is, it's her decision._

_Moni: All we can do is support her and hope everything turns out alright_

_Sayo: Yeah, I know_

_Moni: Don't give in, I believe in you!_

_Sayo: Hey that's my quote!_

_Moni: I know ;)_

_Sayo: I think I need to get going soon. Yuri needs me again!_

_Moni: Bye! Love you!_

_Sayo: Love you too!_

_{Sayo is offline}_

_{Moni is offline}_

* * *

I jump from the sudden stop, looking from my phone. A female voice announcing the last stop suddenly is being heard all over the vehicle. She almost sounds as mature as Yuri. I instantly put my phone away, grabbing my suitcase and umbrella. I'm finally at the airport's terminal.

Walking from the train, I wiggle past a crowd of people to see yet another monitor. My plane wasn't that far away from where I was at, plus, I don't have to wait as long! Thank god. I'm am tired of waiting after that delay. I shuffle through the area to find my flight's gate.

It wasn't long until the air bridge opened and the train was boarding. I held my breath yet again. The world outside, bright and sunny but still covered in dew. It rained here too.

It was absolutely beautiful! I am glad that I had a great view like that today.

"Ma'am?"

I turned to a flight attendant who was calling my name. She looks worriedly at me. "Are you okay? Do you need anything?"

"Oh? What do you-" I felt my slightly damp cheeks and stopped. I quickly wiped the large bubbling tears on my face. "Y-Yes, I'm fine! Sorry for worrying you."

The flight attendant's face lightens up as she expresses a small calm smile. "Very well. I'm guessing you're on this flight, correct?"

"Yea, I'm am." I quickly got my suitcase and umbrella and placed it on the carousel. I try not to flush from my embarrassment from crying in public. It almost seems childish to do it nowadays. No! I am supposed to be childish!

"Flight Ticket and passport please?"

"Here you go!"I quickly hand her my flight ticket and passport.

There was a moment of silence before the flight attendant spoke up again, surprising me. "I know this is none of my business but is your flight going to Florida?" I nodded and her smile widens. "Aha! I heard that Florida is really pretty lately. Customers seem to really enjoy it."

"It's a nice place. I used to live there." I say this but can't add more. Yes, it's true that Florida is a really pretty place but California might be prettier. It could go without the traffic and pollution, I agree, but you have to look closely to see the wonders of it. Like the dew from the rainstorm last night! Or maybe the vibrant colors of the sky.  
I really don't want to leave such a beautiful place but I have real life matters to attend to.

I look back to the attendant who looks at me with large intrigued eyes before regaining her composure. Oh god, I said that out loud too. Did I catch the flu yesterday? Did I stay up that late last night?

While I have a heated debate in my head on why I'm this woozy, the flight attendant cheerfully spoke up. "That sounds inspiring! Are you a writer? Poet, perhaps?"

I am reminded by the large folder filled with rejected poems back home and cringe. "Not really, I just read lots of literature."

"Very well, you stick to that mindset though. It's a pretty important one to have!"

Pretty... important? I was about to tell her what did she meant when she hands me back my card and passport. "You're all set! Have a great trip!"

I thank her again and looked out the window once more before leaving.

The plane was small and crowded. The seats were an inch close from touching and the walkway seemed to be as wide as three! However, the plane was really long so the walkway looked as if it stretches on forever. I had a window seat in one of the front rows.

I pulled out my phone to see that it's 9:27. Also, there's no service here. I sigh, wishing that this flight wasn't four hours long. This is going to take forever.

The loudspeaker rang throughout the plane, reminding us about important safety measures and procedures. Not long after a suspicious robotic thank you, the plane starts slowly moving, gradually going faster, until it finally lifts itself off the ground.

I watch in awe as the plane flies over the land I once walked on and into the sky. The clouds looked white and fluffy, almost like cotton candy we zoomed past them! The buildings below look like small figurines! Everything is so small and cute! I'm sure Natsuki and Sayori will love this. I don't think Yuri's too much of a plane person though, she's secretly scared of heights.

I looked over the window for a long time before I got bored of it. We've been looking over the same scenery for what seemed like hours. I sigh, laying back in my seat. There's nothing to do here.

I wonder what will happen if the others were here. Sayori would get a kick out of the view, it's amazing. However, we would probably get a voice complaint or two if we don't get ahold of her. Natsuki would be the most prepared, bringing a stash of manga. But then again that wouldn't be a good idea since the plane turbulence might damage it. Yuri would probably read some Ebooks far away from the window seat as possible. That would be super funny. I should bring a camera too!

I yawn. What's with me bringing a camera? Did I say something about a camera before? I try to think, but I can't remember that well. Or rather, I'm too tired too. Oh well, recording the literature club would be fun though. It would be like a video diary of some sort. I smile as I close my eyes, drifting off. Yea, that would be fun...  
I should... tell them later.

And so, I fell asleep imagining more fun times with the others to come.    

* * *

After I got off the plane, I took a quick trip on another train to arrive here. I yawn, wiping my eyes. It seems that I was asleep the whole rest of the plane ride. Though I can't lie that I feel better from earlier. Holding my umbrella underneath me and my suitcase right by my side, I walk from Florida's train boarding dock.

Auntie's house isn't that far from here so I might be able to just get away from just walking. If I remember correctly, Auntie and I walked to this exact train station before. I was about fourteen then so the walk would be nothing for sixteen-year-old me!

I try to keep out all the negative thoughts, vowing to make sure I take my anxiety medicine once I get there. Instead, there's a blooming excitement in me. Will she look different? Would she act differently? Will she finally have a boyfriend?

I think about the questions a little more...

Probably not. She had the same hairstyle for about twenty years.  
Nah. Her personality is like her hairstyle, never changing.  
Defiantly not. She was too in love with my uncle before he died. I think about the dozens of photos of them both in her bedroom and sigh.

I try to think of more questions but couldn't. Auntie was as Auntie as it can get. She'll probably never change which kinda worries me.

I approach her street. Holding the crumpled up note, I search for a matching address. It belongs to a house of the far left, a fairly normal colored beige one. It looked large enough to be cozy and warm, even for the two of us.

I hesitantly stood on her doorstep. Trying my hardest to push the now budging bad thoughts out of my head, I knock on the door. Almost instantly it opens.

A light, almost high pitched voice resounds through the air. The person who the voice belongs to was wearing a shirt too big for their small but tall frame and some long jeans. They had a bright blue apron on overneath that, showcasing lots of small, purple tulips.

Their short hazel hair was messier than mine. Strands popped out and became noticeable immediately. It was shorter than even Sayori's at chin level!

They had large, bright, green eyes and a small mature smile, ready for display. It disappeared when she saw me, replacing for a quick look of confusion before it changed back. Only changing that their smile was more sincere.  
  
This person is my rock. My guardian. My cheerleader. The person who supported for me better than my own parents. The person who was always there for me, even if they weren't physically. The person who made me shine without a grain of jealousy or hatred in their soul. This is my auntie. _My_ auntie.  
And I finally get to see her again.

"Hello again, Monika."

I try not to release all my sobs while smiling brightly. "I missed you, Auntie."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Re: far plays in the background-)


	19. 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tuesday, October 13, 2017  
> Adjusting.  
> Adapt or become used to a new situation.
> 
> Adjusting to something might be hard but, somehow, she can do it.  
> It just that.... there are some things she won't forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updated the description!!  
> I'm also thinking of updating the name! Which do you guys like? Flower Thief or Sunrises to our Flowers?

"Hello again, Monika."

I try not to release all my sobs while smiling brightly. "I missed you, Auntie."

"I missed you too!" She pulls me into a bone-crushing hug, one in which I gladly give in to. We stayed in that position for what I wished was forever before she releases me, smiling brightly.

"It's been forever, Mons! Where were you?" She asks joking, wiping her tears. "You look like you've grown so much. What are you, twenty?"

"I'm only sixteen!" I laughed, wiping my own. "I take that as an insult. You know how you'll react if someone said something older than how old are you now..." I paused, thinking.

"No! Don't you dare!"

"How old are you now, thirty-four?"

Auntie puts a hand over her chest, completely flabbergasted. "You've should've learned not to say women's ages out loud. I have no choice but no kick you out of my house."

"Hey! I just got here!"

Auntie chuckles, skipping into her house. I follow after her, closing my umbrella and slipping off my shoes. Auntie's house is medium-sized cozy household. A chocolate brown sofa greeted me in the center of the living room. A small circle coffee table is set beneath it. Lots of photos were hung on the sides of the walls, while some were placed on wooden cabinets. I could see some with me, my uncle, and even with my father when he was younger.

In short, it looks exactly the same than before.

Auntie goes into the kitchen to bring down the boil of a pot before returning, sitting down on the couch comfortably. I set my umbrella and suitcase down before joining her.

"Oh, I can't wait to hear everything you did!" She clapped excitedly, her eyes shimmering with a middle schooler's anticipation. "First's things first, where's your bow?" My...oh! I forgot I threw it away when Sayori got...injured.

"That's the first thing you ask me after two years!" I say, deciding to not talk about...those things until later. Auntie smirks.

"I'm only asking! You know, the first time I brought you that thing you refused to take it off! You cried when your mother got close to it!"

I flushed slightly. "Auntie! I was only six then, that didn't count!" Auntie sighs. "True, true. But whatever happened to that thing?"

"It got dirty," I lied. I mean, it wasn't lying completely. It did got dirty... "There's a store that still sells that same fabric, right? I was planning to replace it there."

"Oh, did you forget that cleaning exists?"  
I jokingly nudged her. "Shut up."

She sighs, looking up at the ceiling. For a moment, her smile disappears as she's deep in thought.

"Mons?"  
"Hmm?"  
"Tell me honestly. Did you come here without your mother's permission?"

I stared at her. Her smile was entirely gone, replaced with a frown laced with concern. Other than that, she looked normal. Except for the fact that the hands behind her back are shaking. She anxious for me, just like she has been my whole life.

Although she jokes a lot, she's very serious about the situation my parents and me. She cares for me, but she knows that she can't go against my parent's wishes, my mother's wishes. The most she could do is console me. She quietly knows that she doesn't have that authority.  
In result, she taught me.

She taught me how to cherish myself and others. She showed me my relationship with my parents were toxic. She explained to me to embrace what I wanted to do, not what they wanted to do. It always made her hurt to see me forced by their rules, anyways.  
She wouldn't have to worry anymore, and that made me smile.

"They're not in my life anymore."

Auntie stares at me stunned. Her large light green eyes stared in shock while her mouth tries to find words, but couldn't. After a long silence, she whispers.

"Really?"  
"Really."

Suddenly a large, stubborn, smile appears on her face. "I'm glad," she simply says, despite her eyes being full of emotion to spill. "You're not suffering anymore. I couldn't be happier."

The irony of those sentences is enough to make me cringe, but I smiled, knowing she means well.

We then went on about trivial stuff. Auntie hasn't done anything particular recently. The most she ever did was went on a three day trip to Sri Lanka to see the Kadupul flowers. Apparently, they are a priceless flower that only lives to see the light of day for an hour before it dies.

She looked pretty excited to talk about it, often ranting about how white and small they are and how much she really wanted to hold it. I chuckled, imagining Auntie staring at a flower for an hour straight. Seems like something she'll do.

I talked about my experience in California. About my friends and foes. Though, I glazed over _him_ as a "friend who left later on." Fortunately for me, Auntie seemed very excited when I spoke about Sayori. Unfortunately, it's _Sayori._

"You have a girlfriend?!" Auntie spoke with a light enthusiasm, her eyes, starry like.  
I, however, was a bit unenthusiastic than her. "Yeah?"

"When? How? Is she nice? Can I meet her?"

"Chill, we only been dating for three months," I say, chuckling awkwardly.

"Three months? You guys are really adorable. You know, I got married at your age..."

"That's because of you had a childhood lover. I met Sayori a year ago!"

Auntie laughs. "Winter is coming around the corner Mons! What do you think of a snowy proposal?"

I blush. "Auntie..." No matter how much I try, I can't distract myself from a snowy engagement. Me in a light gray blouse and skirt, barely distinct from the snow on the ground. Sayori in a bright blue dress, her favorite color, looking like a crystal snowflake herself. After we finished having our fun, we come to a deserted area and Sayori would comment on how pretty the soft, white, trees would look. We talk for a while before I'll suddenly go down on one knee and...

I cover my face in embarrassment, trying to hide my flush. "Are you trying to kill your only niece here?"

"Have you already thought of a honeymoon place because I was thinking of--!"

I blush harder. "Auntie. Stop it."

She laughs again, looking at a photo of her and my uncle. Auntie, unbelievably sixteen years younger, was holding her stomach tenderly, her face full of joy. My uncle was holding her close, smiling a soft, tender smile.

Auntie was thirteen weeks pregnant at the time.

"Hahaha! Ryu would've loved this!"

I sigh. "Uncle wouldn't have wanted me to meet him so soon."

I never met my uncle. He died in the military months before I was born. Though, everyone says that he was a stoic man that always blurted his mind. Auntie back then was like she was now, but with a touch of an adrenaline junkie. Their different personalities always made them a unique and funny sight to see.

Auntie won't say this, but I think his bluntness rubbed off on her.

"I always teased him when we were little," she reminisces. "You remind me of him."

"Do you even get flustered?"

"In the military, we were required to have a strong mental health and clever comebacks!"

"In the military, you're supposed to use those skills for the greater good."

Auntie shrugs while I sigh, trying to get this annoying blush off of my face. Abruptly, something beeps in the kitchen. Auntie swiftly gets up to check it, only to yell out a little while later.  
"Hey! I made lunch!"

* * *

A little while later, Auntie shows me my room. The twin bed was bare, stripped of any originality. The walls were the same despite the faint drawings on the bottom where nobody could see. However, she didn't have to spare one for me (I kinda came here uninvited), so I accepted it happily.

"Is this the one where I used to have sleepovers in?" I asked. Auntie nods. Auntie used to have sleepovers with me while my parents were away for some business meeting every month. They were gone for days at a time, so I stayed in Auntie's house a lot. "Woah, this is bringing back memories."

According to my memory, upstairs there's one other guest bedroom, her room, an attic, a bathroom, a laundry room, and a patio. Downstairs is where the kitchen, dining room, and the living room stays at. Despite having many areas, they're relatively small, making the whole house overall not seem as much.

"I assumed you would! I recalled you spent so much time cooped up in your room that you didn't come out for hours at a time! You know, children like you should be getting their sunlight."

I sigh. "I admit, I was an unhealthy child at the time. I've gotten better though!"

Auntie chuckles and shows me around the small room. "The bathroom is two doors on the right, and the laundry room is right next to it," she says pointing towards a room. "I'll leave you be so you can do your 'teen' stuff." She air quotes the word "teen" in quotation marks, making me laugh. "I'll be downstairs if you need me." I thanked her, as she smiled and left.

Getting my suitcase, I unloaded my clothes and hung them up in the closet. I didn't have much stuff. Mainly clothes, living essentials, and some photos to spruce up the place. This makes the job of unpacking take less time than usual. As soon as I'm done, I flop onto my newly covered bed.

Living here isn't going to be that bad. Auntie's house is cozy for both of us. Auntie herself is amazing. The thing is, I'll be homesick for a while. I still miss the others and wish they were here. That spoil my mood for a long time.

I sigh, looking at a photo on the dresser. It was of the literature club. I was taking the picture, giving a small, warm, smile. Sayori was behind my shoulder, smiling wide. Natsuki was halfway in the image, distracted by her tray full of cupcakes, yelling something to Yuri. Said girl was as flustered as ever, staring at the camera with large, stunned eyes.

I sigh. Life is unfair sometimes.

Suddenly, my phone hums. I pick it up from my pocket to see who's texting.  
It's Natsuki.  
-

IttyBittyNats

IttyBittyNats: Sup  
IttyBittyNats: Are u doing ok?  
-

The small letters in her few text messages make my jet lag headache ache more. However, I answer, knowing I have nothing else to do.

-

_{LoftySoftyMons is online}_

LoftySoftyMons: Fine

IttyBittyNats: I can hear your dull voice all the way from California

LoftySoftyMons: Okay okay, jet lag's getting on my nerves

IttyBittyNats: Pain reliever?

LoftySoftyMons: Didn't bring it.

IttyBittyNats: Oh yeah, you're fucked.

LoftySoftyMons: Don't make it worse.

LoftySoftyMons: Are you okay?

 _{IttyBittyNats is typing...}_  
IttyBittyNats: Damnit, you know  
IttyBittyNats: Alright who forked

LoftySoftyMons: Not telling!

IttyBittyNats: Whatever, I'm to exhausted to do anything anyways.  
IttyBittyNats: Have been puking my guts out until there were no guts to puke out.  
IttyBittyNats: I literally have no energy to talk to anyone, I'm barely on a thread typing this right now.

LoftySoftyMons: Why don't you get some rest?

IttyBittyNats: It'll fuck up my sleeping schedule. Since you don't have school doesn't mean others don't, and I'll be in big trouble if I drift now.

LoftySoftyMons: I think puking out your guts for hours grantees you another sick day...  
LoftySoftyMons: Anyways go watch an anime or something. It won't do you any harm.

IttyBittyNats: I'll try

LoftySoftyMons: Attagirl!

IttyBittyNats: What are you, forty? You really sound like your Aunt over there.

LoftySoftyMons: Yeah yeah, love you too. Now go rest.

IttyBittyNats: Right, see ya.

LoftySoftyMons: ttyl

 _{IttyBittyNats is offline}_  
_{LoftySoftyMons is offline}_  
-

I smiled at the text conversation. I'm glad that Natsuki is finally getting some peace at mind now that her sickness calmed down. Sure, she's drained, but I'm sure she'll bounce right back up like she always does.

As the clock on the wall slowly ticks to 6:00 pm, I know that I won't be able to anything today. The sun is slowly setting behind the trees, stars appearing the bluish-blackish sky already. It's almost time for the sunset.

Sitting up in bed, I wonder what I should do next. It's too late to go outside now. And although jet lag's killing me right now, I'm not that tired to sleep. Maybe, I could take my own advice and watch a movie downstairs?

I walked downstairs to see Auntie pouring herself a glass to wine. Now, I know that Auntie isn’t an alcoholic (to think about it, she never got anything more than buzzed in front of me) at all. She only drinks to celebrate events. I’m happy to see her celebrating.

“Hey Auntie, do you have any movies?”

She turns, her face mildly flushed, in acknowledgment. A large smile appears. “I think I have a cabinet somewhere…”

“A cabinet?”

She nods. “Every good family member needs an assortment of family-friendly movies!” She skipped into the living room, unlocking a lock. Peeking inside, I groaned.  
They were all children movies.

Dora the Explorer, Sesame Street, hell, there are thousands of Clifford episodes! In this hell of mind-rotting family-friendly films, there’s not an age-appropriate one in sight. Auntie looks at the stash in drunken bliss.  
“I collected all of these since the day you were born! Which do you like? Dora or Degio?”

“Auntie, I’m sixteen.”

“Oh! So you’re a Disney kind of gal?”

“Auntie, no. I swear you’re so loopy when you're buzzed.”

Auntie laughs, shutting the door. “I’m just joking! Although I don’t have any physical copies of any other movies.”

"That's fine," I say, sighing in relief. "We can watch something on Hulu or something." She nods, going to pick up a remote before throwing it at me.

"Be sure to pick something for the both of us. I am your aunt, after all."

"Don't drink too much, you're being weird."

She laughs from the other room, putting the wine back in the cupboard. "I'm just so excited to have you back~!"

The next few minutes consisted of me trying to find a movie. Auntie yelled some suggestions from the other room, but they seem outdated or uninteresting. In the end, I picked some coming of age film I liked. I think it was called Wildlife.

Auntie loved it. She was commenting on it almost every second, laughing in her drunken haze. However, at about the hour mark she passed out. I smile at her before turning the movie off, deciding to go to sleep myself.

Nevertheless, she calls out when I was halfway up the stairs.

"Hey, Mons?"

I turned to see Auntie leaning on the end of the couch. She didn't look the slightest bit tired, although she still has the intoxicated flush on her face. I wasn't fazed by this, Auntie was always a light sleeper because of her time in the military.

"Hmm?"

"I just wanted to say that I noticed you...how do you say it... changed. Remember, you used to be so preserved and hesitant. And now, you're laughing, smiling and free. I'm so pleased that you're finally carefree!" She laughs before adding, "then again I just had three glasses of wine."

I laugh too. "I remember that! I like to think I improved since then."

"I know you improved since then."

I smiled genuinely at her before yawning. "I'm going to hit the hay. Night, Auntie."

"Night, Mons."

I smiled happily before trotting upstairs. 

* * *

I woke up by the buzzing of my phone. I groaned, trying to block out the noise, and yet, it still continues. I sigh, sitting up to answer.

"...Hello?"

"Moni?" Sayori answers confused before she realizes something. "Ohh! I forgot you're in a different time zone!" A distant laugh erupts from the background.

"She literally left earlier today," Natsuki laughs. Sayori whines.

"We did a lot of stuff today," she retorts back. "Moni, I'm so sorry that I wake you!"

I smiled lightly. "No, I'm fine. Just make sure to be quiet, it's about 11 pm here."

"We were just calling to say goodnight after getting bored later from finishing three movies," Natsuki explains. "Spirited Away, Inside Out, and... A Quiet Place."

"Ouch. A Yuri pick?"

"It was super scary," Sayori pouts. "My eyes can't unsee the stuff in that movie."

"I literally asked you if you wanted to see it," Yuri says quietly, suddenly popping up in the background.

"And I did because of _everyone_ must watch the movie at movie night! It's only respectful."

Yuri's voice suddenly becomes very mischievous. "Very well. Get ready to watch Annabelle next time."

"Annabelle?! Yuri go easy on us!"

"I'm so glad that I'm not here for this. I heard Annabelle is a bad one~!"

"Moni, you're not helping!"

"Pity us, we have to deal with this shit!"

Yuri sighs, and I could only assume that she's smiling sadly.

"In other words, we need to get going. Sayori and I are going to school tomorrow, and Natsuki is sick." There's a sudden silence, and I could tell Natsuki and Sayori are giving Yuri pleading looks.

"No. Sayori, your grades are dropping. Natsuki, your health is dropping."

I can hear Natsuki sigh, physically having no energy to protest. Sayori however whines.  
"Aw, you're no fun."

"We literally skipped so many days of school that all of our grades are dropping," I state. "Sayori, go to school."

"Fine," she says, knowing she can't win. "But I'll be so bored in school!"

"It'll be good for you~!

"Somewhat."

I laugh. "You guys need to rest so I'll leave you here. I love you guys!"

"We love you too!"  
"We love you too."

...

...

...

"Yeah, yeah, we love you or whatever."

I smiled, contented with my answer and hung up. I'm glad that the others are all okay and not down all day. With everything that happened, I'm happy that they're all right.

And with a content smile on my face, I put away my phone and went back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A warning so you won't get thrown off. Some things will get changed next chapter.  
> What, for example? Well, just wait and see~!


	20. Dokumentary #0

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Video #1  
> 10/14/2017  
> Description: Hello there, it's Sayori! You won't mind if I use you, right? School is too boring and I can't resist!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you remember that one time in chapter 14 when I said there will be another thing that will replace meeting chapters? This is it! A pov change from Moni to our dokis at home! I primarily did this so I won't have to make a whole new fic just in a new pov. So, yeah. Enjoy!
> 
> Additionally happy 20 chapters! This story isn't even halfway done yet!

Sayori has always been unenthusiastic for class. In fact, she hates it. The dull, lingering, voice of the teacher makes her ear bleed. Seriously, do they even know how to have fun?

Sometimes, she can just sleep the day away, but not today. Her friend, Yuri, forced her into bed last night. She glares at the purple haired girl, happily taking her notes. She isn’t going let her make her learn. She’s sixteen, she could do whatever she wants!

The soft click signified the recording beginning.

Sayori found this camera when they were getting ready this morning. The camera was vacantly sitting on top of the closet. She was curious, so she took it. Although, she’ll feel bad if this was someone’s lost camera. They wouldn’t want her disgusting, slimy, hands all over it…

No! She had to focus on the task at hand. She wrote a note on her notebook paper, ripped it, and tried to throw it on Yuri’s desk. It failed, miserably only falling to below her feet, but the purple-haired girl still acknowledges it. Sayori let out a silent victory squeal when she saw Yuri writing on it as well.

As the paper came flying back, Sayori read it eagerly.

 _Hey, Yuri! Do you want to see something cool!_  
_~Sayori_

 _No, Sayori. I’m learning right now, and you should be too._  
_-Yuri_

Not quite what she expected but good enough. She wrote on it again and set it flying to Yuri.

 _Come on Yuri! I won’t bother you anymore!_  
_~Sayori_

 ~~ _No Sayo_~~  
_Fine. It better be quick, we have a test next week I’m trying to study for._  
_-Yuri_

We have a...test? Neverminding that, Sayori looks at Yuri, who had her eyes on her, looking a bit annoyed. She seemed nervous too, often looking at her surroundings to make sure nobody was looking at them both.

Slowly she got the camera got off her lap and into Yuri’s field of vision.

Yuri’s face immediately flushed as she raised her hand and went to the bathroom. Before going, she gave Sayori a look to go with her, so Sayori happily went out of the classroom as well.

“I-Is that a camera?” Yuri exclaimed when they were all alone in a bathroom.  
“Yeah, check it out! Isn’t it neat!” Sayori points the camera at her face, making the taller girl flush again. Sayori catches this and points the camera downwards. “Wait, are you camera shy?”

"I-I'm everywhere shy."

"Oh right! I forgot that since you seem so comfortable with us!"

Yuri sighs in relief when Sayori turns the camera off, regaining her posture.

"Why do you even have that?"

"I wanted to have fun at school! My classes, no, school in general, is always so boring!"

"You should have a little more enthusiasm for school. We graduate in two years," Yuri says softly. Sayori can feel her agitation fade away with her scent of jasmine oil.

"That's still a lot of time!"

Sayori lets Yuri look at the camera as they talked. She looked at the camera with a bit of curiosity in her eyes, which made Sayori happy that Yuri was interested too and she wasn't being stupid as she regularly was.

"I don't think this is mines or Natsuki's," Yuri says examining the device slowly. "Maybe it's Monika's?"

Sayori frowns. Monika is her girlfriend (somehow). She left on a trip a little while ago.  
Sayori thought long and hard, but she couldn't recall of a time she had one.

"I don't think so."

"We'll ask her later," Yuri says, lending the camera back to her. "For now we need to go to class."

Sayori pouts, and Yuri sighs yet again. "I'll let you borrow my notes so you can study," she says, smiling a small light smile.

"Yay."

"Don't be so unenthusiastic, you'll be thanking me in a few days."

Sayori laughs, finally putting her depressive thoughts at bay for a little while.

* * *

"We're home," Sayori chimes to no one in particular, taking the small camera out her bag. She takes her shoes off and runs to a small pinkette sitting on the couch. The pinkette puts her phone away once she sees Sayori.

"Welcome," she says blankly. Sayori already knows that the pinkette was still low on energy, so she didn't push her.

"Is this yours," Sayori says, handing the camera to her. The pinkette raises an eyebrow.

"...Nah. This is a little too fancy for me."

"Oh, really? Must be Monika's then."  
  
Sayori could hear Yuri sigh happily from the other room, relieved to be home. She could tell that the purple haired girl was less jumpy with only of three them. She takes her shoes off and walks inside the place where the both of them was talking.

"Hello, Natsuki," She says with a small smile on her face. "How are you doing?"

"I'm alright. Still sick but it has gotten lighter."

"That's really nice to hear."

Sayori nods with Yuri's comment. "Yeah! Soon you would able to go to school with us again!"

"That's good... I mean, I'm not happy walking with you guys or anything. It just that this sickness thing is a minor inconvenience."

"Awh Nats, you love us~!" She then proceeded to wrap the pinkette in a hug, earning protests in the process.

"Sayori get off me! You're going to catch something!"

"That is, your love!"

"You and I both know that what you just said was the cheesiest thing on the planet."

"I know. I'm planning on using it on Moni soon!"

"Oh god."

Sayori laughs, forcing herself to get off Natsuki. "Hey, Yuri, which pickup line would you want Natsuki to say to you? A cheesy one or an actual good one?"

Yuri, who somehow went to sit right next to Natsuki on the couch without being detected, face quickly flushed bright cherry red.

"W-Why Natsuki?"

"Because she's the only one not taken," Sayori says innocently. She knows that Yuri definitely has an immense crush on Natsuki, and she makes it her plan to bring the two together.

Go confession time!

Yuri, falling for Sayori's reply mutters an "oh." To her defense, the coral haired girl is an expert on these types of things.

"W-Well, I l-l-like my lines a bit c-cheesy. Sometimes, t-they could be so funny and c-cute."

"Great! Natsuki want to say one?"

"No."

"Why? I already said one! It's naturally your turn."

"What is this, a game?"

"Yes. Yes, it is."

"...Fine."

Sayori smiles in satisfaction. Her work here is done.

Natsuki sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose.  
"Um... If I could rearrange the alphabet… I’d put ‘I’ and ‘U’ together?"

Sayori claps her hands in glee. Yuri immediately hides her face with her hair.

"That's a good one, but nothing can top 'if nothing last forever, can you be my nothing'!"

"Oh bring it on. Even you can't beat the all mighty, 'want to share raisin or a date'!"

"That's a good one, but 'My name is Mircosoft, can I crash at your place tonight' is even better!"

Sayori hasn't focused on her plan anymore, trying to compete against Natsuki with pickup lines. They both were so invested in their fight that they didn't hear her phone the first time when it rang. It wasn't until the second buzz that Sayori noticed that someone's face timing her.

"Oh, Moni's calling!"

She was meet with a girl with long hazel locks in a ponytail, a white bow holding it in place. She was wearing the cutest of things, a long shirt covered by dark blue overalls. She also had on oversized floral gardening gloves. Her emerald eyes glistened in the sunlight as she smiled. How could someone be as beautiful as her?  
Sayori really didn't deserve her as her girlfriend.

"Holy...how was heaven when you left it?"

The girl on screen flushed slightly. "S-Sayori?! I'm here with my Aunt!"

The coral haired girl blinked and realized that she had just said a pickup line unintendedly. She scratches the back of her neck nervously.

"Sorry, Monika! Natsuki and I were arguing about lines, and it just got blurted out."

The girl, Monika, laughed. "Did you guys check with Yuri?"

And only then was when the two girls realized that Yuri had put her hands on her face, her blush glowing.  
Literally, it was straight up like shining lights.

"Yuri! Are you...okay?"

The purple haired girl laughed softly. "Oh god. Natsuki I never knew you knew some many terrible ones."

Natsuki flushes too. "Hey, it wasn't like I wanted to say them to you or anything! I just wanted to compete with Sayori, which I won by the way."

"Yeah! You win fair and square," Sayori said, a stupid smile on her face.  
Yep, she totally planned this. She held her phone on the two, making sure Monika could see.

"By the way," Sayori asks, turning her cell to herself again. "What are you doing in that gardening gear?"

"Oh, Auntie and I planted some more flowers in her gardens. There's apparently been a flower thief around for the past... five months?" She seeks confirmation off-screen. "Yeah, five months. Although they didn't come back in a month, so she thinks it's safe to plant flowers again."

"Did they caught them yet?"

"No, not yet! Hopefully, they won't come again! Replanting is such a pain."

Monika then shows them what Sayori thinks is the main garden. It was almost near completion, with some spots unfilled and empty but overall it was beautiful. There was many different colors and types but yet came together in a colorful harmony.

"Woah! You planted some great flowers! Did your aunt got all of these?"

"Yep! She got them before I had gotten here."

"Tell her their super cool, right guys?"

Sayori turned to her two still flustered friends and smiled. The two nodded hesitantly, not knowing what was going on trying to get rid of their blushes. Sayori couldn't blame them, and she thinks Monika can't either.

The four talked about minor stuff for a long time. Despite only being apart for a few hours they had lots of things to catch up on. The coral haired girl was too used to talking right after an event ended, this was...weird for her.

Eventually, the topic of the camera came up.

Sayori grabs the camera from a nearby table. "Hey, is this yours?"

Monika stares at the device, an eyebrow raised.

"No, I don't think--!"

"Wait!"

A sound off camera cuts Monika off. She looks to her right and sighs, a slight flush on her face. A little while later another person comes on camera. She also had on some gardening gear, a speck of dirt on her cheek. The woman has short hazel hair, just like Monika's, but without a bow. She smiles, her green eyes gleaming. Despite being Monika's aunt, she looked only slightly older than Monika herself.

"Yep! That's mine."

"Eh?!"

"I brought that old thing from a thrift store. Oh, I haven't seen that thing in years!"

"Wait, you're telling me that Monika carried this from Flordia on accident," Natsuki says, laughing.

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Hey," Monika retorts. "I was fourteen at the time. I didn't know how to pack anything."

"Why did you even pack a camera?"

Monika ponders for a while and shrugs. "Two years is a long time to remember everything."

"And yet that one night with Sayori you could recall very well."

Monika flushes, immediately holding down what is assumedly the mute button.

"My aunt is literally right next to me!"

Natsuki laughs louder while Yuri scolds her for being dirty. Sayori blushes a bright red, playing with her fingers.  
Somehow, Natsuki's sentence made Sayori all tingly inside, but she doesn't know why for.

"Oh," Sayori exclaims, realizing something. "I have forgotten that I recorded something on it! I'll delete it immediately."

"Oh no keep it! I won't use it if I've got it back anyway," Auntie replies, waving her hands.

"But..."

"You'll be doing me a favor keeping it in good shape. Just delete everything on it first!"

"Thank you..."

"Just call me Auntie. Being called Monika's aunt makes me feel old." Monika groans at her comment, rolling her eyes.

"Okay! Thank you, Auntie, but are you sure you want me to delete everything?"

"Yeah. Go crazy and have a blast. I'm certainly not of the age to keep those anymore."

Monika looks up at her confused. "...The age?"

Auntie blankly stared at Monika for a moment before ruffling her hair. "That's nothing you need to know! Promise me that you guys won't tell Mons anything!"

"Wait, what?!"

"Sure," shrugged Natsuki. "One less thing the better."

"Natsuki! You're supposed to be on my side!"

All six of them laughed, five of them slightly concerned about what Auntie's been hiding.    

* * *

 

Sayori soon learned what Auntie meant about deleting the pictures.

Along with the video Sayori had, there were lots of pictures of Auntie. She looked younger, almost as young as her. But more importantly, they were all exotic.

One was Auntie lying down at the beach, licking a (vanilla) ice cream. Another one was Auntie (conveniently) falling on her knees, her legs spread out. And the worst one was just her naked covered in tons of different berries.

The coral haired girl got it that people had different 'activities' they do alone with one another. She knew that she wasn't one to judge. But, the sheer randomness of this whole situation made her think one thought.

 

What the hell?  
What the literal hell is going on?

  
Imagine your niece's girlfriend deleting old naughty pics of you, and you'll be thinking the same thing.

And remember, there are tons of them. Sayori hastily deleted each one, trying to respect Auntie's privacy. However, she couldn't help but stop on one photo. The photo was not lewd at all, it was actually the opposite.

Auntie (thankfully now fully clothed) was smiling at the camera, one hand underneath her pregnant belly and one holding up a peace sign. Someone else was there too. A man that held Auntie close, a slight smile on his face. He had piercing green eyes like Auntie and Monika, and a stubby mustache.

Sayori brightens. This was probably Monika's uncle! She never saw the man before because Monika never had pictures of him. It made sense, Monika's uncle died in the military long before she was born.  
Yay! She's growing to learn about Monika's family to make up being such an incompetent girlfriend!

Sayori went through the photos, deciding not to delete them if Auntie wanted them still. One was of Monika's uncle kissing Auntie's baby bump. Another one was them comparing her belly from weeks before. And the best one was just them playing with baby toys.

The coral haired girl loved them. She was always a wreck when she sees something cute like little children. However, seeing them was bittersweet. She knew Auntie's baby died right after birth. The innocent looks on their faces made her feel sad, they barely knew what was to come.  
She just hopes they were happy at the moment.

After a while, a video appears. Sayori considers her odds. It was simple. It might be porn, and it might not. She ends up clicking the video hoping, no, praying that it isn't porn, Who would put porn in the middle of baby pictures. Not Auntie, right?

Right?!

Thankfully, Sayori's prayers have been answered. The video starts in a living room, a young nineteen-year-old Auntie jumping up and down excitedly.

Suddenly the door opens as Monika's uncle appears. He looks young as Auntie in this. Auntie immediately goes to lean on his chest, looking in his eyes.

"Hey," she says, still smiling.  
"Hey," he says, staring at her blankly.

Her smile turns into a pout. "You did something fun without me."

"I did training."

"No fair," she says, disregarding his comment completely. "I wanted to shoot some bad guys. Why do you think I joined?"

"Because I was joining? Get off me, your going to put too much strain on the baby."

She takes a few steps back, pondering for some time. "You got me there, I love you too much to let you go! But the second reason is defiantly to shoot some bad guys."

For the first time in the video, Monika's uncle cracked a smile. "You shouldn't drink while you're pregnant."

"Hey! We both know it's true!" She laughs, giving a subtle wink to the camera. "Speaking about the baby..."

"You finally got a name?"

"Not yet! Picking a name is so hard, Ryu! I'm picking a name a child will get for its entire life! As a mother, it's my duty not to embarrass my child."

Sayori stared at the screen, stunned. It was Auntie how taught Monika that phase. Finally, a source of a mystery has been found. She can now bother Monika about it!

Monika's uncle sighs, ruffling Auntie's hair. "You'll get through it, I know you can. Just remember our rules."

"Yeah yeah. No naming our baby after flowers. How boring."

"Originality is key."

"Guess again."

"Hmm... You're pregnant?"

"I'm already am!"

"Um... Your water broke so we need to get to a hospital?"

"I'm only in my second trimester," Auntie says, now physically trying to contain laughter. "Stop joking, Ryu!"

Sayori, confused, blinked. Wait, he was joking with her? His face was stoic the whole time!

"Fine," he says, rolling his eyes. "You know the gender of the baby?"

Auntie this time said nothing. Instead, she lowers her head, clutching the ends of her already tight shirt.

"Guess," she whispers, her voice breaking.

Monika's uncle stood there surprised that he got it right. Nevertheless, he still answered.

"A...boy?"

Auntie didn't react for a moment before she lifts up her shirt. Both Monika's uncle and Sayori were stunned at the outcome.

A small pink heart was attached to Auntie's bellybutton.

The young girl in the video smiles, a tear escaping from her eye.  
"Wrong!"

Sayori physically squealed (quietly). That was the cutest thing to ever exist on the planet Earth. She loved that idea so much! In her euphoric state for cute things, she wished that she could surprise Monika just like that.

And then quickly blushed after fully realizing what she thought of. She tried to will the thought out of her mind, but it stuck like glue. A whole scenario played out in her head. Her as Auntie and Monika as her Uncle. Them both being happily married in the countryside, Natsuki and Yuri living close beside them. Monika would guess and guess until Sayori would have enough and-!

She put her hands on her face, trying to rid this blush. No! No! They're not ready for that yet, no matter how much she wants it...  
She can't help but feel excited as she forced her hands on her face harder.

"Woah, really?" The astonished voice of Monika's uncle brought Sayori out of her flustered state for a while as she curiosity watches the video again.

Auntie nods. "We're going to have a girl! Isn't this exciting? I'm going to play dolls with her and dress her up--!"

"And hope that she doesn't grow up like us."

"Yeah yeah, that too. We're kinda stupid people."

"I mean, who joins the military right after high school?

Auntie laughs. "And gets married right after?"

"And get pregnant seven months after getting accepted for active duty?"

"And records the revealing of her child's gender to her husband?"

"Wait, you're recording?"

Auntie nods, trotting to the camera. She bounces the small camera in her arms.

"Say hi to Daddy Ryu," Auntie exclaims, pointing the camera directly at Monika's uncle. He merely waves before giving a thumbs up.

She later turns the camera to herself. "And say hi to Mommy! We're so excited to meet you! And though we are weird people, we will try our best to raise you! I'm sure that you'll be there, already went and done great things, watching this and thinking about what was my parents like before this. This is just a snippet of that!"

Sayori's breath hitches.

"No need for a speech," Monika's uncle interrupts. "We are only people who give the time of day to help others. We are only people that love you. I've hope you know that."

"Yeah, yeah! Even if the whole world's against you, just know we both will support you all the way!" She holds up her pinky finger. "I promise!"

Sayori bites her lip, feeling tears burning in her eyes.

Auntie turns to Monika's uncle. "Come on Ryu..."

"Fine." He holds up his pinky too. "I promise."

Auntie giggles, holding the camera to both of them. "Bye! We love you!"  
A camera click is heard before the video ends.

A bittersweet smile is stuck Sayori's face as she tries to wipe her fat tears away. The amount of hope in their voices and the smiles on their faces were too much to the coral haired girl. They thoroughly believed that they would have a happy life with their baby, but no. Life's unfair.

Monika's uncle dies in the military. The baby dies soon after birth. Auntie is left alone, fulfilling her active duty term for who knows how long until she returns home.

The smiles on their faces remind her of her own family. Her father, her mother, her brother. How they were the first to love her even when she's the mess that she is. How, like Auntie said, supported her when she felt the whole world was against her. However, they have been stripped away for her, leaving her alone.

She's not ready to be alone! She's only sixteen! She wants them back!  
PLEASE GIVE THEM BACK!

She hasn't really focused on the void left by her family. However now it seems like a hole inside her. A hole too big to be filled by the sobs racking her body. Too large to be packed by the pleas and begs she shouts. Too big to be stuffed by the amount of emotion she cries out. It's too big to be satisfied with anything!

Abruptly, there was a knock on the door. Sayori pauses her sobs to stare at the door, wondering if it's even worth it. Will she let another person succumb to her pit of sadness? Does she have the strength?

And yet, she finds herself pulling off her covers because she wants to get embraced, despite herself. She selfishly wants warmth, like the little pest she is. How pitiful.

She slowly opens her door and immediately cries into Yuri's shoulder, who was at the door at the time. Yuri steps back in surprise before bringing the shorter girl closer to her.

"Get it out, Sayori," she says, her voice soothing to the core. "You need this." Her words made Sayori cry harder since it reminded her of everything she lost again.  
It reminded her of the love she lost yet again.

Her tears began to soak up Yuri's nightgown, and she felt disgusted at herself. But Yuri didn't move away or scoff at her. She only embraced her with warmth.

"This time, we're here to stay."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Bonus!**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> <3 Monibby <3
> 
> Moni: Again I'm so sorry for you guys dealing with her. She might act stupid sometimes, but I swear she's a great person!
> 
> Sayo: For the eleventh time it's okay! I thought she was great!  
> Sayo: I would like to meet her again if she not busy tomorrow.
> 
> Moni: I'm sure we'll be done about when you guys finish school  
> Moni: Brb I need to do something
> 
> Sayo: Okay!
> 
>  _{Moni is offline}_  
>  \---  
>  _{Moni is online}_
> 
> Moni: Auntie just called me to tell you sorry for the photos in the camera
> 
> Sayo: ...Heh  
> Sayo: Oh that  
> Sayo: I accept her apology
> 
> Moni: Sayo you're acting weird literally what was in there
> 
> Sayo: Nothing of importance! It's just that I understand everything now.
> 
> Moni: That seems like something of importance
> 
> Sayo: Fine. If you really want to know what was in there, I'll tell you!  
> Sayo: It was hell itself
> 
> Moni: Sayori don't tease me like that!
> 
> Sayo: Sorry but if I'll tell your view everything and anything will change!  
> Sayo: I don't want my girlfriend getting hurt, so I'm not telling!
> 
> Moni: Fine, I'll drop it.
> 
> Sayo: ...
> 
> Moni: ...
> 
> Sayo: Don't even try and text the group chat, Yuri and Natsuki won't make a peep
> 
> Moni: Dammit
> 
> * * *
> 
>  
> 
> Who would have known that Auntie had a secret sex life when she was younger! You might be asking, will either of us expand on this topic?  
> lol no the rating is already high enough  
> If you'll ask Auntie, she'll just say that the night she had her baby was the best night of her life and laugh, remembering sweet memories.
> 
>  
> 
> Also, people have been saying that the past few chapters have been super light. 
> 
> I made them that way on purpose. 


	21. 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thursday, October 15, 2018  
> -
> 
> A girl once overheard two people talking while in her youth.  
> "I'm struggling," a man said, "Please, I ask for your advice!"
> 
> "Why do I have to give you worthless advice when you have all you need in your heart?" a woman answered, her voice calm and wise.
> 
> "I don't understand, Miss."
> 
> "Pain can cloud your hope, but it could never block it. You have to find the light on the tips of the highest mountains!"
> 
> Akemi didn't understand the woman's wise words then, but now she rings them out more than ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seven. Thousand. Words. Holy shit.  
> This is my thanksgiving gift, you're welcome.

_"I hate to inform you all, but I'm quitting the debate club."_

_Multiple faces looked up in shock and bewilderment. Voices sprang from all sides of the room, confusion fills the air. This is my worst nightmare, and even now, I fight to even out my breathing._

_"Calm down everyone, but I assure you that this is in my best wishes. Kyoko will replace me in my duties, including in the choosing of a new vice-president. Right, Kyoko?"_

_Kyoko: a girl with long apricot hair sprang up as her grin ate up her face. She seems nice, but her words are all tinged with hypocrisy. I'm sure everyone here takes her word with a tinge of salt, but we can't admit she's not a smart girl._

_"Yes, ma'am! I'll be running the debate club as smoothly as you left it!"_

_I nod respectfully at her, and she beams._

_"I hope you all aren't too terribly troubled at my sudden leave. It's just that, the school's debate club isn't my top priority right now and I want to give you all only my best."_

_Lies. I hated this club from the moment I joined it. I thought that the debation might would at least be civil._

_"Ooooh, do you have someone else worth your attention, Ms. Ex President?"_

_The whole room ooohs as if this is an elementary school and a boy just got caught breathing next to me. I shush them again, sighing deeply._

_"I don't involve myself in relationships at the time, my studies are far more important."_

_"SPOKEN LIKE A TRUE WOMAN," another voice yells. Suddenly, the whole room goes off in a cheer. Somehow. Again._

_I resist the urge to groan and just book it. I maintained my posture though, looking at the large group of kids patiently. And just maybe a twinge of a small, sad, smile winces at the tips of my lips._

_On the outside, this club seems like a nice thing to join. The people are friendly and polite. The discussions are civil and well mannered. Well, sorry to break it to you, but that's a front. Once you join, the meetings are havoc, and the people are just... Ugh._

_The first day I joined was the day the politics meeting started. Let's just say we are never to mention ~~his~~ name again._

_"Anyways, I thoroughly enjoyed the great year I've been in this club. However, today is my time to go. Goodbye, debate club. I hope we meet again." I turned to Kyoko, who was almost squealing, knowing well she's soon she's about to gain full power. "Kyoko?"_

_"Right, Ma'am. You're all dismissed."_

_I walked out of the room, sighing heavily. I did it! I actually did it without panicking or anything! I silently cheered to myself, promising to celebrate later with a movie or something._

_I continued to walk home alone for a couple of minutes, walking down a familiar road that I couldn't place my finger on quite yet. I walked looking at the trees slowly pass by, humming to myself. I'm in a really great mood today, so you can't blame me._

_A cheery voice cut me mid hum as I turned in time for a sudden hug._  
_I gasp in surprise, stepping a bit back before realizing who it is._

_"Sayori, don't scare me like that!"_

_The coral haired girl giggled before stepping back, allowing me to see her face again. This girl, Sayori, is my friend. Despite having almost the whole student body as my so-called friend, she's the only person I'll call my best friend._

_"Sorry Monika, I couldn't help myself! You seem happy."_

_"Do I really sell myself out?"_

_"You were humming to yourself while taking the long way to your house."_

_"Yeah, that really shows it. I just quitted the debate club."_

_"Oh really? I heard that they're really nice though."_

_"Oh..." I laughed dryly. "Do me a favor and never join that club."_

_Sayori eyed me suspiciously before taking my word for it. "Fine, fine."_

_"Why are you here though? Are you suppose to be home?"_

_"This is my way home actually! My friend ditched me again, so I'm alone."_

_"That doesn't explain why your walking home late. Do you have a club you go to?"_

_"Oh, no! Afterschool I went to a cafe!"_

_"Typical."_

_"Monika, don't be mean! They have really yummy pastries there, you said it yourself!"_

_We laugh, remembering that one time I decided to ditch the debate club for some coffee with Sayori. Sure, they were mad at me, but it was worth it for their magical expressos._

_"So, want to walk home with me?"_

_"Eh?"_

_"Wait, are you not okay with that? I'm sorry! I just figured that my house is close by and your right here so..."_

_"Yeah, I am! It's just... I was confused about what you meant at first...I thought..." I tripped over my words again, suddenly nervous. "Nevermind." I didn't even know why. Maybe it's stupid hormones._

_Sayori smiled sweetly, deciding to not comment on my miss up._

_We talked about minor stuff for a while. I was happy to peel off a little of the mask for Sayori. To chat with a human being without them either acting like their somehow higher than someone else or treating me like royalty is marvelous._

_Somehow, the topic of clubs rolled around again._

_"I mean, I'll love to join a club," Sayori says, sighing blissfully. "But there are no clubs that get my attention, you know."_

_I think about this for a while. "Yeah, other than the debate club, there's nothing that sounds interesting. Everything is just..."_

_Sayori sticks out her tongue, blows a raspberry, and laughs. "Their so bland! I could make better clubs than most of the club leaders here!"_

_I laugh with her, sighing happily. However, her words kept ringing in my head. 'Make better clubs...'_

_I could..._

_No, that's absurd!_

_It'll be fun._

_Right after quitting the debate club? Am I crazy?_

_"Monika..." Sayori lingers, looking over her shoulder. I noticed she a few steps ahead of me, implying that she saw that I stopped walking. "You're being weird, are you okay?"_

_"Wait," I whispered as if a crazy scientist of this stupid, stupid science experiment. "What if I made a club myself? Would you join?"_

_"Yeah," she replies, her voice a little brighter. "Being in a club with you would be too much fun to pass up~! Maybe I can convince my friend to join also! It could be the three of us having fun!"_

_I catch up where she was as we started walking again. "That would be fun! But what would the club be about?"_

_"Oh. I haven't thought that far yet..."_

_"Hmmm..."_

_We both thought about a subject for a long time, walking in a comfortable silence. The sun that bathed our figures slowly sank into the town, making our shadows thinner than paper._

_Paper... Yes! For literature!_

_I always loved literature for a long time. I loved stories when I somehow dug myself out of the runt that was school work. They make an excellent past time. I love writing too, but I could never write a whole story. It was mainly short stories and poems that I wrote when I was feeling stressed or angry at myself._

_There's not a literature club in the club directory, so let's make one!_

_"What about a literature club?"_

_"A literature club?! Monika, you know me too well. I loved short stories ever since I was born!"_

_"Oh, me too! It's just I don't think that many people would join a literature club."_

_"Don't bring yourself down, I would! And I'm sure anyone else would too!"_

_"Thanks, but if we want to get this club off the ground, we need more than four people."_

_"I'll start looking immediately!"_

_We excitedly talked about this newfound ( ~~and still equally stupid~~ ) club we somehow made up in thirty minutes until we reached Sayori's house. Parting with Sayori was a little bittersweet, but I'll see her tomorrow, so it's okay._

_..._

  
_..._

  
_..._

_I just wished that it last a tiny bit longer, that's all._

_I sensed Sayori didn't want to part ways either since we also chatted at her house. It wasn't until I noticed that it was significantly darker than when I left for school that it occurred to me that I needed to get home._

_"Aww, your leaving?" She moans, leaning on her doorstep. Her lips were in a slight pout as her eyes were pleading for me to stay longer._

_"I have homework to do Sayori. You do too."_

_"Calculus. Don't remind me. Anyways, I'll see you tomorrow, Monika!"_

_"See you tomorrow, Vice President."_

_Sayori's eyes light up at the new title like it was a new toy. "Vice President?"_

_"Yeah, you're the first person who joined, so that automatically makes you Vice. Don't you want Vice or--!"_

_The coral haired girl wraps me up in a hug for the second time again, jumping up and down in excitement._

_Despite it invading my personal space, I didn't hate it._

_"This is really happening!?"_

_"I think so!"_

_She steps back again and smiles, her sapphire eyes dancing in the little to none orange sunlight there was. She smiles, the tips of her lips barely touching her eyes, creating small dimples._

_She smiles, and she was beautiful._

_"Thank you!"_

_How the hell I never noticed this before?_  
~~_How_ ~~  
~~_the_ ~~  
~~_hell?_ ~~

_"N-No problem."_

_She watches me walk from her house, waving obnoxiously, almost like a fool._

_And yet, she was beautiful._

_I didn't know why I think of her as beautiful. Was it her messy coral hair? Or her gleaming sapphire eyes? Or her large genuine smile? I don't know. I didn't even know I liked her before today! But having the chance to think back made me realized there was something about that girl that had always made me want to just talk to her forever._

_And so, she was beautiful._  
_To me, at least._

_Dammit._

* * *

I woke up with a groan, the sun still trying to reach me from my window. I sat up, idly rubbing my eyes. I feel like I have the feeling of you just dreamt of something important, but can't pinpoint what yet. How weird.

I pushed back the thought and powered on my phone, finding out quickly that it is still pretty early. 7:42 to be exact. I could go back to sleep, but I felt like I had a decent sleep last night. Instead, I check my messages.

Four from Sayori, two from Yuri, and one from Natsuki with a screenshot.

-  
_< 3 Sayobae <3_

 _Sayo: Good Morning Moni_  
_Sayo: I hope you're having a good day!_  
_Sayo: ..._  
_Sayo: I hope you know I am risking my life texting you in class <3_

 _{Moni is online}_  
_Moni: You're going to get your phone taken away_

 _Sayo: Hey! You are awake!_  
_Sayo: I'm am a skilled phone hider, Moni. Don't underestimate_ mtgffttfy

_Moni: Heh_

_Sayo: Hello Monika, this is Yuri._  
_Sayo: I had taken Sayori's phone until the end of the day._

_Moni: Oh, cool_

_Sayo: Sayori just whined and called you a meanie._  
_Sayo: Anyways, we'll talk to you later._  
_Sayo: Bye!_

_Moni: Bye!_

_{Sayo is offline}_  
_-_

_Purple Bookworm_

_Purple Bookworm: I just read chapter three of your book._  
_Purple Bookworm: Oh my god Monika, what the fuck happened?_

 _Green Bookmark: I know right?!_  
_Green Bookmark: Tell me about it when you get back online._  
_-_

_IttyBittyNats_

_IttyBittyNats:_ Henlo _Monika, what do you think of this recipe?_  
_IttyBittyNats: AppleCiderCupcakeRecipe.jpg_

 _LoftySoftyMons: That looks yummy!_  
_LoftySoftyMons: But are you well enough? You stayed home from school today too, did you?_

 _{IttyBittyNats is online}_  
_IttyBittyNats: Yeah, but I feel well enough to do something._  
_IttyBittyNats: I'll come back to school tomorrow_

_LoftySoftyMons: Oh that's good!_

_IttyBittyNats: Just don't tell the others though_

_LoftySoftyMons: Aw, your surprising them!_

_IttyBittyNats: Shut up, I'm bored, that's all._

_LoftySoftyMons: Yeah, yeah I won't tell a soul._

_IttyBittyNats: <3_  
-  
I sigh happily seeing the texts. I'm happy everyone's doing well.

I stretched, looking for something to throw on in my closet. After, I shuffled down the stairs to look for the coffee machine. I noticed that it already been used. I turned, already knowing Auntie would be nearby.

"Good morning Mons!"

"Morning, Auntie." I grabbed a glass mug and a k-cup. Auntie sighs, knowing I'm groggy.

"Want to go somewhere today?"

I leaned on the wall, glancing curiously at her. "Now?"  
She nods, taking a sip from her coffee. She was sitting on the couch, smiling slightly. "We can tend to the garden as soon as we come back."

"I'll be fine with it," I say, half listening. "Is it where I think it is?"

"I think you can answer that yourself~!"

"You're difficult."  
"You're drowsy."

I sigh, grabbing the hot piping coffee. Drinking it, I exhale happily, practically melting at the taste. Coffee is too good for this world.

"Point taken."

"I'll be outside waiting. Try not to take long!"

And then she leaves, leaving me (slightly irritated) to sit with my coffee. I sip my beverage again because I just want to embrace the full, rich, taste before doing anything. However, knowing that Auntie is probably stubborn enough to wait forever, I went out to find her.

* * *

"It's been ages since we went here together!"

"You could've warned me. I could've definitely worn something nicer."

As we both walked onto the pathway, gravestones slowly populating the field of grass, she waves her hands nonchalantly.

"Do you really don't remember the last time we went here? He really doesn't mind."

"I guess so..."

She laughs before her eyes sparkles, finding something. A grave, to be exact. Despite how long it's been there, it looks nice. The words were still liable and beautiful too.

_Ryu Janus_

_November 26, 1981 - June 24, 2001_

_A great son, husband, and soldier._

This is my uncle's gravestone. I'm surprised it looks this nice still.

"Here it is! I kept up with it while you were gone."

Nevermind.

"You did a pretty good job on it," I say, lifting an eyebrow. "It looks almost new."

"Eh, there have been some ups and downs."

Ups and...? What could happen to a gravestone in two years?  
I shrugged it off, seeing that overall, it looks pretty good.

Auntie gets onto her knees and pats a seat for me next to her, which I take.

"I know I keep on talking about this, but it's really been forever since we been here! It gets me reminiscing of the first time!"

I never actually remember a first time going to my Uncle's grave. We have been doing this forever, I assumed. "The first time?"

"Oh, you don't remember? We went with your mother and father... You were eight at the time... You cried because you didn't understand the concept of death yet... Ring any bells?"

"No...? I don't think so."

"Aw, what a shame. I really wanted to relive embarrassing memories with you."

I jokingly poked her shoulder. "Shut up."

We started to talk about lots of things with my uncle. Useless, trivial things we regularly talk about by ourselves. Seeing the bright grass and light blue sky of the graveyard fills me with such nostalgia. It never occurred to me how much I missed simple things like this.

People usually say that the graveyard fills them with sadness, but I never saw one time where Auntie was sad to be here. She was the opposite really, excitement and happiness filled her very core. She still likes to talk to my uncle after all these years.  
She must be very in love with him.

"Hey, how did you and my uncle meet?"

Auntie raises an eyebrow and smirks. "Where did this come from?"

"I'm being serious," I say, fighting back a smile myself.

"Fine, fine! We met at a sandbox."

"A sandbox?"

"Yep! Your father and I were dropped off at a park when we were in elementary school. Your father went off to do something I can't bother remembering right now, while I went to this random boy playing alone in a sandbox. I remember my first words to him like it was yesterday." 

* * *

 

_"Can I destroy your tower?"_

_The young boy looked her way, eyeing her carefully. He had dark hair, small chubby cheeks, and green eyes just like hers. Though he was lean and slightly taller than her, she stood her ground, making him know that she wasn't playing around. In her defense, she was pretty good a kicking down the largest sand towers._

_The boy stared at her stoically before going back to his tower. "No."_

_Young Auntie pouted, giving her best puppy eyes at the focused boy before giving up._

_"Fine! Do whatever you want!"_

_Young Auntie knew she couldn't just knock down a tower without permission. Mommy taught her that is called being 'mean' and being 'mean' makes other people sad. She really doesn't want to make this boy down for some reason, so she goes to the opposite side of the small box and makes her own building._

_It was satisfying but wasn't as satisfying._

_She studied the boy (still working on his tower) in close detail. His face shows little to no emotion, his eyes seem to pierce anything (like laser vision!) he sees in half, and he is taller than everyone at her school._

_He looks like one of the mean bullies, but she felt nothing but a happy aura from him._

_And so, she asks, "Are you happy building your tower?"_

_He once again stops what he's doing and looked up. "Yes, so don't mess with it."_

_He was about to go back to building when Auntie asked him another question._

_"Are you a bully?"_

_"No?" His tone was lighter so young Auntie assumed that he was confused. That's great! A typical bully would know what one was! She mentally checked off the other questions in her head._

_"Am I annoying you?"_

_"Why would you be?"_

_"Because I'm keeping you from playing with your tower!"_

_"I can play while I can talk to you."_

_Auntie's eyes widen, her pupils almost seemed like stars as she beamed. "Woah, that's amazing!"_

_"I know. My father taught it to me."_

_"Can you teach it to me?!"_

_"Sure." For the first time during the time she spoke to him, he stood up and walked over to her. However, oh no! His knee brushed over the tower, and it fell! Every grain he worked so hard to achieve became a large pile of sand. Young Auntie watched it fall in devastation._

_The boy watched it fall as if it was nothing. His face was emotionless still. However, she felt sadness in him._

_The sadness made her sad, so she began to cry._

_"Why are you crying?" the boy asked in between her tears._

_"Y-Your tower fell down! I made it fall and made you sad. I-I'm a bully n-now!" She began to cry louder again until a hand gently met her head._

_Young Auntie looked up to see he was standing over her now, his hand tenderly rubbing her head. He looked scary, almost menacing, towering over her but she didn't feel scared._

_Instead, she focused on how warm his hand was._

_"Don't cry," he says. "We can build better one."_

_"B-Better one?"_

_"Yes. Maybe, you can knock this one down."_

_"K-Knock d-down? Are you sure?"_

_He nods once, and she smiles again._

_They started to build their new tower for the rest of their playtime. With two hands, it was indeed higher and better than the other one. Auntie had a blast kicking it down when it was finished, and for a little bit, the boy had too._  
_But ultimately, they had to part ways._

_Auntie's mother called her right after she was finished demolishing the building. She looked at the boy fleetingly before asking one more question._

_"Will I see you again?"_

_"No," he says, crushing her hopes and dreams. "No, but, I would like to see you again."_

_"I would too! You know what, I'll be here every day, waiting for you!"_

_"That would be...unnecessary. But try to come here as soon as you can, okay?"_

_"Okay!"_

_Auntie ran off to her mommy and brother on her way to leave the park when the boy stopped her for the first time today, tightly holding her hand._

_"Wait! What's your name?"_

_"Aki! What's yours?"_

_"Ryu."_

_And in that very second, young Auntie made a new friend._

* * *

"We used to see each other every day until he got enrolled in my elementary school. We slowly got closer, and the rest was history!"

"Wow, never knew you were such a crybaby."  
"Wow, never knew you were such a bully."

"Shush," I laughed. "But really, I didn't know that it was so cliche."

"But isn't that the beauty of it? Imagine! It's the fall of 1987, and you had to go outside since there wasn't really any good electronics yet. Of course, there will be surprisingly cliche instead of just Tinder."

"Why are you eyeing me like that? I never met Sayori on Tinder! I met her in my math class and never actually talked for her until, like, a year later."

"Hey, spoilers! Now you have to tell us when you fell in love!"

"Eh? When did this happen?!"

"Come on Mons! We were having a little family sharing time."

"Please don't say that ever again."

"Just share the story."

"Fine."

And so, we talked gleefully for the rest of the morning.     

* * *

Back in the garden, we continued to plant the flowers. It was a grueling task, but the end goal must be worth it. I glanced at Auntie, who seems to be having the time of her life. I guess she's really pleased to have flowers again in her garden.

There's a rustle in the backyard.

I tensed, turning towards the sound. Nothing was there, of course. However, it was enough to tick me off. I mean, I should be worrying. I don't have a choice! _He_ might come any second if I take my guard off. I need to protect her!

"Mons?" I turned to Auntie, who's smile got wiped off her face, replaced with concern. Damnit. "You're hyperventilating."

I scratched the back of my neck nervously. "Sorry, I must've forgotten to--!"

Another whisper.

My heart gets caught in my throat. My eyes glanced at everything, trying to pinpoint anything that could have made that noise. Nothing was there, of course.

"Monika? Is there something wrong?"

"We need to go."

"Monika Wha--!"

"We need to go! Now!" I stood up, facing her. "It's not safe here anymore. I'm for sure certain that there's someone else watching us! We need to go if it's him and--!"

"Monika!" Her yell somehow brought me out of my trance built out of fear as I realized that I been rambling. I stop, trying to take in several deep breaths before continuing. It takes a few moments, but I manage to calm myself down enough to talk.

"We... We need to get inside."

Auntie simply nods, and so, we gathered all our stuff and brought it inside. While I put the gear away, Auntie made sure to lock all her doors and windows, blocking the outside view with curtains. In the end, Auntie's house looked as dark as ever, and I couldn't help but feel bad.

Sitting on her small couch, I put my hands on my face and sigh. How could it have gotten this bad? I've only been here for three days, and _he_ already knows where I am! How am I'm supposed to protect Auntie when my first response to danger is to run?!

I hear Auntie sit next to me. She rubs my back tenderly, ridding me from some stress and tension. She continued to do this for a few moments until she ultimately speaks.

"Hey, Mons? I can't say that I'm not confused with... _all of this_." She lets out a low chuckle that lacks any emotion, trying to lighten the mood. "But... I'm way more concerned about you. I want you to be okay before we talk about anything else, alright?"

"But..."

"No buts."

"It's important."

"No 'it's importants' either."

I slowly sat up, putting my hands away from my face. "What if I told you that the lives of not only both of us but everyone I know and love lie on my shoulders?"

Auntie blinked, certainly not expecting that. "Then... I'll be slightly worried about what happened in California. But to tell that part of your story to me, you have to be okay with it yourself. I can tell you're not, Mons, so I'll stay in the dark longer. Calm down a little first, okay?" She ruffles my hair and walks into a room close by to get something.

I guess she's right by saying that I needed to calm down. I've been tense ever since I heard the noises outside. Instead of dwelling on that, I just took more deep breaths and downed some anxiety pills.

A buzzing interrupts me, and I check my phone once again.

-

_ We are the Literature Club! _

_Sayo: Cupcake1.jpg_  
_Sayo: Cupcake2.jpg_  
_Sayo: Cupcake3.jpg_  
_Sayo: I know Natsuki's baking is good, but I never expected it to be that good!_

 _Yu: You literally devoured it._  
_Yu: I don't blame you though. They were pretty good._

 _{Nats is online}_  
_Nats: Do you guys realize that I'm in this chat too?_

 _Sayo: Hiya Nats!_  
_Sayo: We know, but you would've denied our compliments if we'd said them_ irl  
_Sayo: We want you to accept our love!_

_Yu: I agree that it would be nice to hear you accept our compliments once in a while._

_Nats: Fine. Thank you for the compliments. They really warm my heart._

_Sayo: Aw! You're welcome!_

_Nats: ..._  
_Nats: I hope you're happy. Store clerk just asked if I was texting my boyfriend_  
_Nats: fucking help me_

 _Sayo: Very_  
_Sayo: Also no. This is your punishment for cheating that other day!_

Yu _: I'm satisfied._

_Nats: You guys are the worse_

_{Moni is online}_  
_Moni: You guys really should get her now_  
_Moni: She hasn't responded in minutes_

 _Sayo: Hello Moni!_  
_Sayo: I'm sure she's okay._

_Yu: If anything else, she'll beat him to pieces._

_Moni: That's what I'm saying. I'm fearing for the store clerk's life._

_Nats: Update: Jerk Store Clerk tried to get with me_  
_Nats: A quick hit to the nuts quickly put him in his place_

 _Moni: That proves my point._  
_Moni: Self-defense at it's finest._

_Yu: She wouldn't go that far without us, though._

_Sayo: Yep!_

_Moni: I guess you're right._

_Nats: What are you guys talking about?_

_Yu: Scroll up._

_Nats: Oh._  
_Nats: I wouldn't go that far without you guys_

_Sayo: It's good to that you'll care enough to make sure you won't seriously harm anyone without our permission!_

_Nats: Yeah, yeah. Love you too_

_Yu: Anyways, Monika. Are you up for a facetime?_

_Moni: I'm about to do something right now. Later perhaps?_

_Yu: Yeah sure. See you then._

_Sayo: Aw Moni you're leaving so soon!_  
_Sayo: I'll see you soon! <3!_

_Nats: I hope this isn't an excuse to get rid of us_

_Moni: I would never_

_Nats: Then I'll be holding this conversation over your head for a while_  
_Nats: Thank you for your contribution, ma'am. Bye._

_Moni: <3_

_{Yu is offline}_  
_{Sayo is offline}_  
_{Nats is offline}_  
_{Moni is offline}_  
-

I shut off my phone, stuffing it in my back pocket. Talking to the others calmed me significantly. They unknowingly gave me the tranquility I need to be clear-sighted again. That's what I love about them.

If Haru's really out there, then my love for them will be my determination to push through seeing him again.

Auntie came from upstairs right then. She somehow slipped from my detection while I was on my phone. She sits next to me, smiling lightly.  
I'm happy that she's smiling again.

"Are you...?"

"I'm fine. I calmed down a lot. Thank you for noticing."

"Isn't that what's family for?"

I manage to crack a smile. "Certainly. But about the past two years... it's a long story."

"We have all day! Tell away."

And I did.  
I told her the truth. The literature club and its members.  
I told her my hardships. Haru and my relationship with him.  
I told her my struggles. Coming out of that relationship and seeing clear again.  
I told her my defeats. The club shooting and my scars.  
I told her everything. The fights. The lies. The laughs. The sobs. The wins and loses. The trusts and bonds. The feelings and actions. _Everything._

It felt so _damn_ good to let it all out.

I never thoroughly explained everything to someone before. I never needed to. The others experienced everything with me, memories in our hearts that are tucked away for safe keeping. But Auntie, she'd never experienced anything.

So, just this once, I'll experience everything again with her.

* * *

_I've never been late before._

_Everything was always followed in a routine. Wake up, get ready for the day, get breakfast, check that everything was in her bag, and go to school. It was foul proof, I tell you!_

_...It was foul proof until Sayori came into my life and thrown it to shame._

_Long story short, we'd talked on the phone for too long, I'd accidentally dismissed my alarm, and much later realized it was a weekday and was magically racing against the clock._

_It was actually very similar to one of those stereotypical romance animes where the main protag wakes up late and have to run to school, only to bump into their potential future crush. The one thing that separates me from them is that I didn't have a slice of toast in my mouth, and am sure that Sayori is already at school._

_I caught what I said and stopped immediately. Unfortunately (fortunately?), before I could flush about it, someone also running hit me and we both fell down._

_I clutched my head and clenched my eyes. "Ow..."_

_Nothing hurts terribly. All I had was a minor headache that soon past as quickly as it came. I open my eyes to see a tall, purple haired girl on the ground with me. Her bag was open, it's contents spilled out, which was mainly books and worksheets. However, I couldn't help but see something glinting in the sunlight--!_

_"I'm sorry Miss!" The voice of the mature girl distracted me from whatever was inside her bag. "I didn't mean to hit you!"_

_"Hey, it's okay! I didn't pay much attention to what was around me, so I needed that. Do you need any help--!"_

_"No! No!" The girl realized she was yelling, cutting me off. Immediately her face turned scarlet. "Sorry for yelling, but I'm fine."_

_"That's great."_

_I watched the purple haired girl put all her books and worksheets back into her bag. She doesn't want me to help her, but I don't want to seem rude, so I'll just... stay here? The girl didn't appear to mind, busy packing her stuff._

_Eventually, we both stand and awkwardly stare at each other. I was about to leave when the other girl noticed something._

_"Are you Monika? From the literature club posters posted around campus?"_

_I blinked. I've been recognized many times before, but not as the president as the literature club. It's... nice._

_"Yes, I'm the president. Are you interested in joining our club?"_

_"Very. Although, I'm not good with people, so may I have the number of people in the meetings?"_

_I blinked again, flabberghasted on how wholehearted she is. Many people take literature as a joke, so I expected her to be the same._

_For the past two weeks, it's been Sayori and me. It never occurred to me that more people would join except for the two of us._

_"Two."_

_"Huh?"_

_"There are only two people in the club. Me, and this girl named Sayori."_

_The girl physically sighs a breath of relief, smiling lightly. "I think I could deal with that. Where are the meetings held?"_

_I told her the club's details. Having a girl excited to be in our little club is excellent. Maybe, the dream of being an official club is not too far from reality._

_I went to my class fulfilled that day._

  
_-_

_It's been a few weeks since that girl, Yuri, joined our club. She was quiet almost all the time, always nose deep inside one of her books. Her favorite genre was intense horror, and I wonder how she could read the goriest of scenes._

_Sayori seemed to like the mysterious girl, and maybe I, myself had a liking to her._

_Anyways, this one day, the door slammed open. I looked up, startled slightly._

_"I've brought in a new member!"_

_"Is it finally your friend?" I asked. Sayori giggles nervously._

_"No, not yet... It's someone else! Natsuki, say hi!"_

_Suddenly a smaller girl stepped up from the hallway. She had pink hair, pink eyes, pink everything really. She looks around at the place, seemingly unimpressed. In her arms was an enormous box of some sorts._

_I clapped my hands with delight. "Hi, Natsuki! Welcome to the literature club!"_

_"Hi. Do you think manga is literature?"_

_The whole room goes quiet. Yuri has perked up at the word 'manga' and is now silently scoffing at our new member. Sayori scratched the back of her head, smiling nervously. And this girl glares daggers that pierce my very soul, wordlessly waiting for a response._

_I blank because the question just...popped out of nowhere._

_"Um... I guess?"_  
_I mean, it has words on most pages, so it's technically a book._

_The girl's gaze softens. "Well, good. You're going to have a lot of it here. Do you have anywhere that I could put this box?"_

_I point towards the closet we usually don't use. Natsuki nods and hurries off to it. Sayori immediately whispers in my ear._

_"She asked me that the first time I introduced the club to her. This is completely normal."_

_"...This is going to be a doozy."_

_"A fun doozy!"_

_And with me being preoccupied with today's events, I didn't even notice that we became an official club right then._

  
_-_

_It's been a month since Natsuki joined the literature club. She fitted right in, often reading in the closet. Natsuki seemed to get along with Sayori and me well, but not Yuri. For some reason every time we step out the room the two somehow manage to be going at each other throats. Sayori and I often dissipate the fights before they went too far, and everything continues ordinarily._

_Except for today._

_No, today is when Sayori finally brings her childhood friend! I always wonder who it is. It would be nice to meet the man that's Sayori's always talks about._

_Natsuki had made cupcakes to celebrate the situation. They were decorated to be little cats, chocolate whiskers and all. I never knew she had that much talent at baking,_

_Yuri had also done something to celebrate our potential 5th member. She brought in a full-on tea set for the classroom. Besides books, her favorite thing was tea, and she debated that everyone should too against Natsuki after she called it, and I quote: "fancy boiled swamp water." Needless to say, they almost got into a fistfight that afternoon._

_The door open moments after everything was set up, Sayori grinning ear to ear._

_"Everyone! The new member is here~!"_

_A new voice I don't quite recognize speaks, his voice slightly annoyed._

_"I told you, don't call me a 'new member.'"_

_Yuri gets up from her seat, welcoming him first into our clubroom._

_"Welcome to the literature club. It's a pleasure meeting you. Sayori always says nice things about you."_

_She was about to continue when Natsuki pushed past her, examining the new member with sharp eyes. She groans, pinching her nose._

_"Seriously? You brought a boy? Way to kill the atmosphere."_

_Sayori giggles nervously as I got walked towards the group. The closer I got, the more I recognized this person. Brown hair? Decent height? Hazel eyes? Oh yeah! He was in my class last year! We never really talked, but knew that we both existed. Although, I thought he was one of those perverts since he kept on staring at me during class._

_"Ah, Ḩ̴̢̭̻̰̗͍̼̠̦͙̭̺́̈̑̽̇̊͝a̶͙͆̉̆͋̇̃̉̋͐͝r̸̟̂̈͂̌̉́̌̋͆̈́̓̄͗͂͘͜u̶͔̜̺̦͓͓̲̘̜̲͓͎̙̇͗́̔͛͐̊͑͒͐̚͜͜! what a nice surprise!"_

_He nods at me, a look in his eyes that I brush off._

_"Welcome to the club."_

# C̷̷̸̶̶̴̸̶̷̵̷̷̵̵̸̶̸̴̷̶̷̸̸̵̨̡̨̢͖̙͚̼̦͉̩̜͍̖͖̜̪̺͍̯̻̞̳̪͔̮̫̩͎̭͔̜̙̖̟͔͉̳͔͍̮̹̞̦͖͍̗͎̗̜̭̭̮̹͈͕̩̙̹̮̟̹̺̣̘̫̪̭̣͎̩͚͕͎̜̈̃̈̋̽̋̽̓̽́͛̾̒͐̇̍̂͂̓̌̔̃̑͂̒̌͛̾͒͌̓͋̓̔͂̐͛̊̔̑̈̇̔̽̂̏̒̔̀͐͊͋̏̎̀͋̔̎͑͋̀̉͐̅̽̐̇̍̃͊͆̅̃͘̕̚̚͘͜͜͝͠͝͝͝͝͝͠͝͝͝ͅͅR̸̸̶̵̷̶̶̴̸̷̨̡̡̭̠̲̯̖͙̳͖̬̝̰͚̳͕̩͎͔̘͕̖͚̠̹̯̠͗́̈́̆͊̃͑͌͐̄̄͌̓̏̐̇̂̒̕͝͠ͅÀ̷̸̸̶̴̵̵̸̶̢̡̧̨̛̤̰̞̦͈̫̜̺͕͎̥̼̮͖̙̩͈͉̥̥͔̫̪̣̣̹̭̙̐͑͊́̽̅͌̍͗̇̇̆̒͂̆̓̉̇̉̄͊̃̔̓̒̕͘͘͝͝͠S̷̸̴̴̷̸̵̴̵̴̸̴̸̷̸̷̸̸̴̸̵̸̢̡̧̨̢̨̡̧̢͓̙̱͇̱͔̩̤̥̙͕̯͓̙̜̳̼̣͇͕͔͖̮̩̣̞̣̱̟͕͈̫̼̗̫͔̝͍͔̯̯̹̥̟̻̯̬͓̥̞̗̹̹̻͈̹̲̲͓͉̟̯̙̱̙͖̐̄̍́̌͂̌͑̇̽͋̈̌̀̅͌͑͒̋̆̃̓͗̓̂͒̄̌̅̎̈͂̑̀͗̅̾͒͑̈̃͆̑̃̒͑̈̊͘̕̕̕͝ͅH̴̸̸̸̶̸̴̶̶̴̶̵̶̴̵̷̸̶̢̨̢̧̜͕͙̺̖̫͕͇͇͈͔͙̲̳̠̻͇̬̳̠͚̭̭̞̫̮̩͙͖̪̭̩̫̼̹̫̤͙̦͖̥̳̙̬̝̣̯͎̹̱͇̤̫̯͕̥̅́͑͋̌̋͋̇͋̐̓͆̑̍͊̌̂̆̈́͆̅̽̍͋̓͊̍͆͋̌̿͂̑͊̈́̃̿̋̀̓̒͛̉̈́͋͑̚̕̕͘̕͘͜͠͠͠͝͠ͅ 

 

I sprang up, my eyes searching for the culprit of the loud shattering. Of course, there was none, but that didn't help that I got scared shitless.

"Is anyone there?" I yelled at the dark abyss that was the kitchen. "Anyone!?" The soft howl of the brisk wind blowing in the window answered my call. I sighed, turning to Auntie.

Said girl was already awake (we agreed to sleep in shifts) and was looking at the darkness in worry. "He broke the window of the kitchen. If he hasn't already, he can access some weapons."

I curse under my breath. "What do we do?"

Auntie glances at me, her lips curved upside down into a small frown. "Will you have an anxiety attack over a gun?"

"No... I don't think so." I think about that one time where we busted Natsuki out of her very own home. We used guns there, but then again, they were tranquilizers.

She then pulls one out from her hidden holster. The gun was small, a stainless steel handheld. I finally understood what she needed to get upstairs. She silently loads its magazine and gives it to me.

"Use this if it's absolutely necessary. _Please_."

I nodded silently. Auntie smiles softly before her eyes catch something. A glimmer of steel in the moonlight.  
Shit

She tenses, cocking her gun. A moment of hesitation occurs from both parties. The person in the abyss makes no move, leaving us with only the chirping of crickets. Auntie's frozen, her eyes wide with fear as a single bead of sweat treads down her face.

"Aunt--!"

A cock of a gun.

"Dunk!"

Auntie and I both dunk behind the couch as the person releases bullet hell onto us. She waits until the person needs to reload before yelling.

"We don't want to hurt you, but we won't hesitate if you go further!"

Another moment of silence.

"Very well then," the person whispers. Ḩ̴̢̭̻̰̗͍̼̠̦͙̭̺́̈̑̽̇̊͝a̶͙͆̉̆͋̇̃̉̋͐͝r̸̟̂̈͂̌̉́̌̋͆̈́̓̄͗͂͘͜u̶͔̜̺̦͓͓̲̘̜̲͓͎̙̇͗́̔͛͐̊͑͒͐̚͜͜ whispers. "Let this game begin."

I instantly grabbed hold of Auntie's free hand, trying to calm my anxiety. Auntie squeezed it, glancing over to see if I'm okay. I nod for her to continue.

"Are you sure about that?"

"Very."

She sighs before pointing her gun and shooting. She made sure to keep her first shots warnings dangerously close. I realized by the fire in her eyes that she isn't present Auntie anymore. She's the one from seventeen years ago.

She dunks again while she reloads, hesitantly taking the last magazine in her holster. A load of bullets hit us repeatedly as the couch started to get weaker as a barrier. She bites her lip, frustrated, before turning to me.

"You need to hide."

"Wha-! Auntie, I can't leave you."

"You've done enough for me, and I couldn't thank you enough..."

"Don't say that! You're going to make it out of here! We're both going to make it out of here. Together."

"Mons I can't risk you getting hurt for a second. You have a family to go back to."

"You are apart of that family!"

Auntie laughs softly, wiping the tears I didn't realize was falling from my cheeks. "I know, I know. That makes me really happy, you know."

"It makes me happy, too."

"I love you."  
"I love you, too."

She kisses my forehead before pushing me up. "Now, shoo!"

And I ran. I ran as fast as I could, ignoring how much Auntie's house is a mess, bullets littered into everything. I ran ignoring the gunshots, ignoring the worse. I ran holding only Auntie's gun, locking myself inside a small closet.

I panted, trying to regain my breath. The shooting does not stop. My anxiety doesn't stop. The tears don't stop.

Then, and only then, I realized my phone was on me.

I instantly called 911, telling them of the situation. The operator said that they'll be there in twenty minutes. I thanked them and hung up.

My finger hovers over the group chat.

Do I really want to worry them like this?

I need to tell them if anything happens to me.

What if I scare them with something that isn't going to happen?

I need to anyway.  
I need to _now._

_-_

_ We are the Literature Club! _

_Moni: Fuck_  
_Moni: I don't have much time, but I really love you all_  
_Moni: And sorry. I'm doing something pretty stupid, so I wanted to say my sorry_  
_Moni: I really appreciated the time we spent together_  
_Moni: Now I really got to go_  
_Moni: <3_

 _{Sayo is typing...}_  
_Sayo: Monika, what's going on?!_

 _Moni: Can't explain, but please know that I love you_  
_{Moni has been deleted from the 'We are the Literature Club!' Chat}_  
-

I gripped the device in my hand before throwing it into the wall behind me and shooting it. The noise finally disrupts the shooting as the device breaks.

Everything seemed to stop at that very moment. The shooting ceased. The movement stooped. The voices were muted. Everything was halted.

Until a scream of warning erupts seconds before a chair bashes the door, missing me by centimeters. It broke where my phone did, crumbling to the floor.

I stared at the chair, frightened before a hand yanks me out of the closet. The arm instantly pins me to the body of the person who captured me, not letting me move. The other arm was pinning a pistol to my head.

Auntie was in front of me, her face blank, pointing her gun at Haru's skull. A machine gun that I assumed Haru used to release bullet hell was lying close to her.

My gun was still inside the closet.  
Shit.

"You play pretty well, Akemi Janus."

Auntie frowns, somewhat surprised that he knows her real name.

"That's Mrs. Janus to you, mister."

"Fine, Mrs. Janus. Drop the gun, or I'll kill all of us."

Shivers tingle against my spine. He's planning on faking a suicide pact.

"We all know that wouldn't work," I say, earning me a hard slap. Auntie bites her bottom lip, clearly fumed by him.

"Oh, it will. I will make it happen if you dare me to."

I scowl at him, but his attention has already averted from me to Auntie. She still had him on gunpoint, her face emotionless as she takes in a shaky breath. Looking at her now, I see the scars she has. She hasn't been shot (thank god) but she's had cuts from debris.  
Her eyes still had the same fire in them as she purses her lips.

  
"You certainly don't want your niece to die before you," he mocks. "After all, you had to witness both your child and husband die in your arms, didn't you? Maybe this would break you. You would have nothing else to live for, then."

"Don't bring them into this!" I say, trying to free myself from his grip.

Auntie looks unfazed by this, but notice her free hand shaking. It was shaking in fear, in anger, in hurt.

"I know, it was quite devastating indeed. And if my niece dies, it would be difficult. But I _would_ have something to live for if Monika dies. I would have her family."

"So, you won't mind if I just shoot her now?"

"I still want to save her, and I will happily die trying."

"Auntie, **DONT**."

"Which bring us full circle. Drop your gun."

"He'll just shoot you! Please shoot him! Please kill him!"

Auntie's cold gaze glides over to me. She closes her eyes in concentration before smiling.

"I'm sorry," she mouths, her grip softening. "But I can't take that risk."

The room was silent when Auntie's gun clattered to the ground, devoid of life.

"Good choice, Ms. Janus."

Haru pushed me on the ground as he retrieves something from his pocket. Grabbing Auntie's arm harshly, he dragged her into the pantry before locking the door. I scramble to get up, but the door already slammed closed.

Not long after I heard Auntie scream.  
It wasn't a high pitched scream from old corny movies, no. It was silent, almost muffled, and short-lived. It sounded like _hope_ dying.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

̴̷̵̷̷̶̷̸̷̷̢̡̛̝̠̟̬̰̹̻̺̬̩̰͍͚͙̙̗͇̤͙͎̮̦͉̯̹͙̩̗̈́̈́̉̅̓̄̐͐̓̓͆͋̄͆̈́̈́̈́̾̄̂́̐̀͛̕̕͜͜͝.̵̴̷̴̵̶̶̵̴̵̸̶̷̵̡̧̛̛͚̪̙̠̥̰͓̠̪̼̬̱̯̞̭̞̺̼̣͍̫̰̭͔͈̳͚̤̝̌͑̊̈̿͊̂̏͊́̽̓͆͂̈́͑͌̓͂͂́͌̎̐̒͌͒̀̉̔̇̾̃̃̀̾̇͘̚͜͜͠͠͠͝͝͝ͅͅƨ̸̴̷̸̷̴̷̸̵̴̷̷̴̵̸̴̧̨̡̨̡̢̼̺̞̖̩̩̜̟̩͎͉̤̻̱̤̩̪͇͎̜̥̯̠̩̞͇̟͕̙̺͉̞̙̙̖̱̺̣̰͕̩̞̜̩͕͚͍̼̐̋̅̈͋͗̽̊̀̒̽̐̓́͋̏͆̎̄̃̅̔͑̊̌̇̓̔̓͂͂̊́̓̇̔̋̅͌̏͗̏̐̈̀̇̃͛̃̍̒̄̑̕̚̚͜͝ɘ̷̶̷̸̵̴̷̸̴̸̸̴̵̶̵̸̵̴̸̵̴̵̨̢̢̢̛͈̳̯͔̬̱̠͉̟͚̭͎̥̱͉̰̲͖̟͈̺̞͈̙̟͖̹̯̯͓͖̦̘̺̳̭̯͚͙̬̥͇͕̘̹͇̫̳͎̗̪̮̰̱͎̬͕͈͔͙̻̞̫͍̖̝̲̟̜͔̗̯̯͚̭͍͍͔̥͕̝̾͒̊̈́͂͛̆͗̅̔̾̃̉̃̌͋͛̅͒͂̾̀̔̅̾̉́̒̐̋̋̿͆̽́̾̓̓̎̐͆̔̓̅̓̍̄̇͂̈̋͋͐̿̀̌͒̚̕̚͜͠͝͝͠͠͝͠͝͝ͅͅį̷̵̸̴̸̶̴̸̷̶̸̴̸̴̴̴̵̶̸̸̷̶̡̨̨̢̨̛̛̛̠̣̜̜̣͔̝̱̣͖̥̟̞̳͎̻̜̲̥͍͓̟̤̠̱̗̲̩͕̙̞͔̰̘̭̺̩͙̺̘̜̥̻̩̭͓̣̪̩̼̦͎̰͙̯̼̳̹̙͈̠̅̾̀̈̄̽̂͑́̀̀́̔̿̎́̔̌͐̀͆̑̈́͊̽́͛̒͋͐̈̈́̀͑̍̌̓͛͂͋̔͋͐͛̈́͛͛́̍̍͂͒̊͂́̔̂̂̏̓́̄́̕͘̚͘̚͝͠͠͝͝͝͝ͅͅͅɿ̸̸̷̸̶̶̶̶̵̵̷̸̴̴̵̧̢̠̮͇̰͇̪̦͚̗̩̹̞̰̹̭̮͍̥̙͇̟̣̻͇͇̪̣͕̪̹̖͕̹̪̹̬͖̳̱̲͖͙̐̀̿̂͒̊́̒̈̽̂͛̋̋͊̀̓͊͋͋̾̅̓̉͗̔̈́̏́̌̃͌͌̓̀̆̕̕̕͜͠͝͝ɔ̵̶̴̶̵̸̸̷̷̴̷̵̷̵̵̷̸̴̸̵̸̢̨̧̛͉̱̠̱͔̜̬͇̫̲͓̺̞̩̯̝̗͔͍̙͔̺̰̗̹͈̭͖͕̳͍̗̩͍̞̺̖̬͉̙̗̹̘͙͔̮͖̰̞̭̟̠̤̾̈́̈́̄̉̃̾̇̊̽͗̄͑̓̓̿͆̾̿̄̃͛̐́͊̄̒̒͌͌̄́̂̈́̿̄̑͑̋̀͌̔̓͗͂̈́̋̈́͆́̽̏̎̌̏̾̏̈́͋̎͊͐̒̽̈͌̌̕̚͘̕̕͘͝͠͝͠͝͠ͅ ̵̵̸̶̴̸̴̵̷̡̧̧͕̳̥̠͚̹̦̫̣̥͕̫͔͇͇̞̠̝͌̓̈́̽̊̈̈͐͗̈́̆̓̃̓͒̀̆͌̚̚͘̚͘̕ͅɔ̸̶̸̸̸̸̷̵̵̴̶̸̴̶̶̷̨̢̨̨̧̧̢̛̳͖͇̫̟̭̦̤͖̝̩͖̪͕̮͕̳̱͕̳̻̳͔̭͍̪̘̼̫̖͍̞̜̺̱̳̹̤̩̖̭͉̙̟͚̔̍́̽̾̈̊̅̈̆͐̓͐̎̀̔̊͑̈́̓̀̀̿̍͌̆̈́̈́͗̈́̀͂̓̈́̽̃̋̄̄̌̒̚̕͘͠ͅį̷̸̶̴̶̸̵̶̶̷̸̸̵̶̴̷̷̵̵̡̡̨̨̢̨̨̨̤̝͕͉͓̤͓̰̦͎̦̫̞̰̲̱͔͔̻̰̦̤̤̟̙̼̫̱̘̝̲̣̤͓̤̖̱͚͔̲̰̤̠͖͉̪̯̤̖̣̼͓̟͈͎̯̓̆̈̂̿̏̓̇̈́͆͑̑͐͂͊͂̑͛̈́͒̐̂̽̇́̆̾͂̆̆̽͆̈́͊̋̉̅̀͌̀͋̾́̑̐̆̓͌̃̀̿́̃͑̏̑̃̆͊͋̚͘͘̚͜͜͜͠͝͝͝͝͝ͅͅɈ̶̶̶̶̸̸̸̷̶̶̴̸̸̷̴̸̵̷̶̷̷̨̢̨̧̛̛̛̯͕͖̲͉̰̥̩̰̩̠̻̦͍̰̟̳̣̲̝̗͍̹̺̖̬̮͍̻̘̪̮͔̼̟͙͉̜̤̪̹̖̝̝̥̞̟̝̯͍̱̼̘̥͔̻̦̯͕̹͈̩̰̠̲̦̳̘̬͂̅̿̎̎̉̍̆͊͑͒̊̈͌̅́̈͒͋̌͂̽͋̎͌̍͊͐̇͌̅̀͊̓͋̓̔͒͛́̿̉͌͑̿͒͐̿̇̋͗̀̍̌͑͌͑́̐̓̅̌̇̍̈́͘͘̚̕͘̕̚̚͜͝͝͠͝͝͝ͅͅɘ̸̷̵̸̸̷̶̴̷̴̸̵̵̶̵̶̶̴̶̴̴̵̶̴̵̸̴̡̧̢̢̨̡̛̛͎͉̟̦̫̖͈̺̼̯͍͚̹̼̙̻͚͓̜̫͇̮̝͇͇̭̪̟̦̜̼͙͎̗̬̗̤͉̺̹̪̖̺̦̣͎̺̳͚̘̥̘̖͓͓̪̥͎͖̮͔͇̻̺̖̲̖̫͇̙͍̊̅̂̂̑͂̈̃̉̈͛͐̏̑͌͊̓̒̊͂̈́͊̊̑̂̄̎̍̄͛̏̍̈̓̐̊̑̾͂̔̅̇͆͋̈́͛͌̿́̽̃̉̉̎̽̓͋́͛̀͋͆̌̌̓͛̎̿̊̃͒̑̿̽̍̒͊̉̚͘͘͘̕͘͘͠͝͠͠͝ͅʜ̶̷̸̸̶̸̷̸̷̶̶̴̵̶̵̴̵̵̷̨̡̡̧̢̢̛̼̮̙̩̱̥̲̪̻͖̜͈̩̙̠̖͎̤͚̹̘͇̯̻͈̣͔͙̩̱̝̲͔͖̭͇̩̗̱̥̗̬͇͚̱̣͇͕̪̣͚̜̖͍̙̠̤̺̤̲̳̟͈̜̊̿̂͊̎̍͐́̌͌̋͑́̀̋͛̍̈́̈́̇͌̀̓̋̃̔̎̑́́͗̈́̈́͐͆̍̇̌̋̍͗̐͑̏̚͘͘̕͜͜͝Ɉ̶̵̷̷̶̸̴̴̷̷̸̵̵̶̸̴̶̴̴̴̵̷̸̴̸̴̶̸̢̡̢̢̨̨̧̛̛̘̰̣̭̭̺̼̗̟̦̖̬̠̩̼͇̩̻̹͇̤͈̼̦̩̗̮̗̭̳̬̪̜̳̯̰̩̜͎͔̣̱͉̗̭̼̼͇̫̮͇̯͔̭͖̻͕̺̰̜̖̞͈̺͉̼̝̪̳̜͕̺̟͚̘̯̺͖͇̤͎̱̠̤͆̄̄̽͊̈̐͆̆̔̂́̈́̆̆́̋̀͗́̃̎̃̿͆͌͑̑̒͊̇̅̊͐̎̀͌̅̆̊̉̊͌̀͗͆̈̊͑͆̉́͋͊̑̓͛̇̔̈̑̒̐̓̊̊̒̐͛͌̉̄͒̈̉̒͆̀͋̋̍̈́̉̎̚̕̚̕̕̕̕̚͜͝͝͝͠͝͠ͅɒ̷̶̸̴̵̴̵̴̷̵̶̸̷̶̵̵̵̶̷̴̡̢̧̧̢̛̛̛̛̛͕̻̻͓͍͉̩̫͇̹̮͎̞̝͎̤̘̰͍͚͓͖̥̠͈̣̰̗̤̱̙͖̺̤̩͇̦͕̪̱͇̞͇̼͙̝̠̬̯̱̝́̾̂͂̾̏̈́̈͑̀͂̈́̊̒̊̐͋̆̓̉̈́̅͊̀̄̃̇̇̄̿̄̑̀͐͆̈̾̀́̋̑͛̔͒̃͗̈̈́̑͂̏̈́͋̓̅̀̕͘̚͘͜͝͠͝͝ͅq̸̴̸̵̶̵̸̴̶̸̶̶̴̸̸̵̷̶̸̵̶̸̵̶̨̢̡̢̨̢̡̛̛̦͔̹̖̗̦̦̬̗̜̗͇͙̝͎̹̙̣̫͚̖̪͖̥̞͔͈͎̤̗̳̹̙̯͉̩͔̳̩̭̜̙̰̖͖̟̝̫͚̞̪͍̱̪̠̺̻̠̭̟̱̘̠̳̲͈̳̺͔͊̆͆̉̌̈͗͌̆̋̈́͆̈́̍̃͊͑̄͂̄̍͆̏̎̿̄̄̌̏͒͂̌͗́̽̾͊͑̀̄̔̒̀̾̔̽̔̏̚͜͜͝͝͝ ̵̴̵̷̵̸̴̴̶̴̷̷̸̴̴̸̵̶̶̴̵̸̵̶̷̴̵̴̸̴̡̡̡̨̢̢̡̛̛͚̞͖͖̹̦͈̞͚̙͍͕̗̲͎̝̝͙̖̱̭͖͍̮̣̟͙̳̲̼̳̺̝̞̺̱̖̬̪̜͕̗̘̤̪̥̱̮͈͖̠͙͙̼͖͔̦̦͚̬̹̬̪͕̟̙̯̝̠̦̙̳̙̼̭͍͓͓̼͓̰̖̹̬̣̤̤̮̙̦̭̣̮͉̯͌̿̇̾͋͆͐͌̊̀͂̐̉̂́̊̄̅̈́͂̅̌̎̌̅̏̽̋̃́̏̈́͌̽͊̿̍̽͒͂̿̀͂͆̒̔̆̊́̽̀̂̈́͆̈̒͊͋̐̆̾̿̅̓̆̓͊͌̿̍̆̽̓͛̈́̓̉̈̀̏̅̒̌̾͛̍̏̆̓͆͌͆͑̐̕̕̕̚̚͘̚͘̚̕͜͠͝͠͝͠͝ͅͅɿ̸̸̴̷̸̶̷̷̵̴̵̴̸̧̡̛͇͙͇̙̩͔̩̜͉̙̫̙̜̱̣̭̫͖̯̝̣̣̥͈̲͓͍̺̟͈͎̦̘̣̍̿̋͑͛̆̓̒̾͂̇͆́̇̆́́͌͆͑̀͊̿́̑̒͑̒̿̿̅͒͋́͛̀͘͘͜͝͠͝ɘ̸̴̷̸̸̶̵̸̶̷̴̴̶̶̵̸̷̵̸̴̶̴̶̸̶̷̵̸̧̨̨̢̧̡̡̨̡̛̛̛̛̜̮̞̝̺̲̗͉͙͔̲͎̗̺̖̹̜͈̹̬̘̯͖̗̯͖̞̭̤̯̣͓̱̣͎͚͎̣̙̙̟̳̙̰͙͇̮̩̮͈͎̘̙̦͈̭͍̞̳̫̖̭̙̪̲̥̘̲̲̩̖͓̼͕̳̯̜͔̻̳͖͎̪̾̓̀̎̎̾͐̈́̈́̑͑̆́̋̿̍̈́͌̈́̊̋̇̇̑̈́̅͂̓́̓͒͑̃̄̌̏̍̅͒̅̀́̋̍̊́́͒́͛̄͆̈̒̊̈͂̃̀̾̓́͌̎̋̀̀͊̅͆̽͛̎́̿̒̓͂͗̒͑̔̅̚̚̕̕͜͠͠͝͝͝͠͝͝ͅʜ̷̵̴̴̶̴̷̴̴̵̶̴̵̸̸̸̸̴̢̢̧̡̨̛̛͙̗̗͉̙͙͕͉̯̗͙̲̩͎͇̮͎̹̻̖̳̟̮͚͚͔̘̟̦̩̙͓̙̟̲͉͉̞͔̮͙͓̱̽́͑̅̐̿̽̉̓̊͛̀̏̌̆̑̓̒̑̓̈́̋̀͂̈́̅̽̾̇̎̓́̇̃͂̂͐̐̈́̈̑̉̕͘͘̚͘͠͝͝͠͝͝͝ͅͅͅ ̸̸̵̴̶̵̵̸̵̸̵̴̷̨̨̡̨̢̛̼͇̼̖̪̟̜̟̥̺̜͈̳̥͓̖̖͍͚͔̻͓̮̺̗̹̩̘͈̭̻̩̝̟͓̠͔̲̤̖͒͗̌̌̑̈́̓̏͂͛̌̐́̐̇͐́̃̀̀́͌̈́̋͂̓̈͌̇͆͆̆̕̚͘̚̚̚̕͘͜͠͝Ɉ̸̸̵̴̸̸̷̷̶̡̡̧̨̥̖̦͍͖͉͔̥̖̼̖̖̖̹̈́̾̈̄͗͗̾̃̾͛̆̀̀͆͋͆̅̇̌̈̉͐͑̃̂̊̂̕̚̚̚̕ͅɒ̵̴̵̷̷̷̴̴̷̶̸̵̴̴̷̷̵̵̴̴̵̶̸̷̴̵̢̡̢̨̡̛̛̛͕͈̦͈͈̹̥̤͇̪̜͈̗̙̹͉̗̟̹̼̤͔̙̯̰̩̠͈͓͔̰̳̪̜̳̮̱͕̜͇̟̗͕͈̥̥̦̥͈͍̣̺̩͎͈͍̳͇͍͉͉͖̩̲̼̂͌͊̀̓͊̀͊̍̃͑́̾̾́̐͐͐̃̇̊͆̓͒̈́̇̀̃͗͛͋̃̆͑̈́̀̃̈́̽̄̊̾̀̔̀̽͆̋̂͒̒́̏̈̂̃͐̓͋̊̇̐͂͑͐̃̂̿͊̃̋̓̄͐̀̉̄̈́̒̓̈́̅̏̇̕̕͜͝͝͝͝ͅͅͅ ̵̸̴̵̵̵̴̴̵̵̴̷̷̵̶̶̷̴̶̷̶̷̵̷̨̡̛͇̭̖͇̤̫̭̯̰̭̦̩͔̻͍̝̳̮̖̻̩͕̼̪͉͈͕̻̣͚̦͔̮̰͚̪̞̤̙̰̰̪̹͍͇̫͇̝̹̫̲̖̹̹̻͈̟͚̼̩̜̰̥̞͔̮̬̩̮̥̤̰̟̌̆̈́̔͑͆̈͂̉͆̈́̏͑͑̈́͂̌̍͐̉́̆̾͆̀͒͐́͆̽́̃͛̈́͐̆̏̀̏͑͛̓̂͒̍̎̔̍́̂̓͂͐̂̒̂͌̿̐͑̃̈́̓̌̂̈̌͊̈́̅́͘͘̕̚͘͘̚͜͠͠͝ͅͅƨ̵̷̷̶̷̷̶̴̵̴̷̴̵̸̷̴̷̸̷̷̴̷̨̡̧̢̨̢̡̨̛̠͙̜̫̗͓̖̝͙̮͉̲̟̩̳̘̜͓̝̳̜͕͚͇̤̝̜̫̩̲̼͙̹̘̟̬̮̮͓̘͔͎͈͖͓͇̥̭͖̼̜̲̙̺̝͖͈͎̘̬̯̩̱̘͇̙̰̊͌̈̇̽͋̈́̎̈̀̌͗̀͐̒̅̽̾͒͊̂́̃͆͌͐̔͑̋̌̄͊̀͗͑́͋̂̇̏̉̀̿͌̈̑̒͐͑̉́̂̓̍͛́̾̈́̉̈́́̈́́̈́͌̕̚͜͠͝ʜ̸̴̴̸̶̸̴̷̴̴̷̸̴̸̶̶̵̵̶̷̵̵̴̷̴̷̶̵̶̴̧̡̨̡̢̧̡̢̧̧̧̛̛͚̥̥̦̥͔̫̝̯͚͖͚̙̲̤̘͈͍̯̟̖̱̞͓̬͉͎̜̗̯̱͙̭̲͇̗̲̠̠̼͔͇͉̗͚̳̳͙̞͉̜͉͍̖̲͙͙̬̝̩͕͚͈̤͕̺̱̳̪̳̠̦̱̺̝̯͔̗̲͇̬̥̫̟͚̠̻̙̞͕̳̬̠̜̽́̀͛́͐͋̑̉͑̽̈̀̈́͑͐͗́̽̀̃̏̓͛̃͊̎̅̀̓̈̉̊̃͛̐̽̐̑͋̔̌͒̎͂̈̈́̊͛̾̂̆̄́̉̾͊̇́̆̑̒̀̀̀̈́̓̓͋̎̋̓̀̇̿͋̎̕̚̚͘̚̕̚͜͝͠͝͠͝͝͝͝͝͠ͅͅͅϱ̴̷̴̵̴̶̴̸̶̸̵̴̴̸̴̵̵̴̸̸̷̧̧̨̢̧̨̢̛̲͓̣̮̞͎̬͔̫͎̙͚̯͍̦̮̙͙̝̘̬̠͈̣̻̜̹͕͈̙̝̝͖̤̖͓̙̦̻̰̪̙̼̖̮̭̪͎̐̀̓̃̈́̎̒͋̊̎͋̊̓̾̽̊͌̈́̏͛̑̋̌͒͛̀̑͌̇̉̀́̉̒͐̉̊́̽͑͋͛͑̌̐̐̏̒̈́̿̓̇̑̀͒̅̈́͛̍̅͛̇̎̒̾̇̚̕̚̚̚̚̚̚̚͠͝ͅυ̸̶̵̸̵̵̴̶̵̵̷̸̴̶̷̵̴̨̡̨̨̛̛̛̪̘̱͕̗͍̩͕̼͍̲̗͕̝̞̻̱̺̠͎̳̯̗̙͎͖͓̻̬͕̘̘̥̙͓̹͉̟̤̱͎̦̜̱̞̰͙̙̗̠̠̘͑̉͋̅͆͊̀͌̔́̀̾͗̀̐̃͌̅͊͛͊́̀͗͋̓́̍͋͗̆̐́̀̈͐̆̎͒͌̉̉̏̈̊͌̎͒̓͒̈́̈́͛̕͝͠͝ɒ̸̶̸̵̵̷̶̸̶̵̷̵̵̷̷̵̴̸̵̸̵̸̵̵̵̵̨̢̡̨̢̧̢̨̧̧̧̳̺͔̫̯̻̱̞̼̼̣̪̝̲̯̩̖̱̼̘̖̪̗̰̱͓̭̳͈̘̟͇̠̪͍̰̫̹̩͙̩͓̜̣̲̝͕͔̖̻̼̯̼͙̠͎̤̥̲̥̞̗̺̙̼̲͈̻̯̤͙̦͓̟̓̆̃̓͛̉́͂̀͐̽͛̓͋̀̾̄̊̀̀̈́͂͂̔́͌͑͛̄͒̇̌̌̾̔͊̾̏̀̊̐̎̋͋̽̐͂̍̿̓̾̍̊͛̇͐̐̀̈́́̊͋̀͛͋̄̃̅̄̾̓̓̌̄͛̓̂̄̇͗̒̓͘̚͘͜͝͠͠͝͝͝ͅͅͅl̵̸̵̷̶̶̸̷̴̶̶̵̷̶̸̸̴̶̶̵̢̨̢̧̨̨̨̬͙̠͓̜͔͙̮̬̞̤͈̖̬̼͕̭̺̙̰̭̯͎̠̱̲̥͙͙̺͇̦͇̬̳̰͙͕͍͇͈͎͖̻͈̲͎̝̘͈̲̜͚̜͖̳̩͚̰̯̼̪͐̎̈́̆̇͆͑̐̈́̒͑̔͊̈́̿́̈́́̈̄̋̃̆̀̂͑̾̃̎͂͂̈͐̚̕̕͘̕͘͘̚̕͝͝͝͝͠͠͠͝ ̷̸̴̵̴̷̵̸̵̸̵̵̴̸̸̵̵̶̷̸̵̶̢̨̛̛͎̤̞̯̬̲͇͔̥̱͖̤̺̙̱̫̯̘̗̱̻̲͍̥̰͓͈̹͕̠͙̬̪̮̦̲̼̥̻̜̪͚̦̦͎̼̖̱͍̩̬̖̮̞̝̼̼͓͇͎̳͙͕̙̠͙͇̀̄͗̓̓̄̀̔͂́͑̈́̀̏̔̈́͗̎̾̄̉̄͂͗̆̅̿̾̈́̋̂̌̇͋͗̌͋̀͛̍̇̃̋̑̇̍̌̑̋̅̓̉̈́̈͒̕͘̚͜͜͝͠͠͝͠͠ͅͅͅɘ̸̸̷̴̷̷̴̶̷̴̷̴̷̷̶̷̵̶̷̷̡̧̧̢̡̨̧̧̛̛̭̜̼̳̖̝͖̟͕̺̫̙̬̫͎̯̱̬̱̖̲̬͖̥̖̻̫͓͔̰̖̬̮̯͇̦͔̞͎̤͎̦͖̱͇̱̮̖̬͕̳͇̼̜̙̝̻̙͓̱̜̹̲͚̯̰̫͍̼̖̏̾̒̾̑̌̀͂̀̈́͐̽̈͐̂̓̏̏͑̅̀̽͗̐̅͊̅̔̈́̊͒̏̏́̐̓͂̔͋̏͗͂͛͌̒́̋̋̕̚̚͘͝͠͠ͅͅH̴̟̊̈́̈́̎̚

 

 

 

 

Banging on the door, I demanded him to open the door. He didn't comply for a few minutes, leaving me to pound and beg. Auntie was silent furthermore, proving my fears correct.

I was close to sobbing when Haru finally opened the door. Auntie was only unconscious, luckily not hurt in any other way. He looks at me, frowning.

"You didn't have to bang on the door so loud Moni."

"It's Monika."

"Fine, Monika. Anyways, we are finally alone together. It's been months!"

"What do you want, Haru?"

"I want you to come with me."

I instinctively back away from him. "I'm not going anywhere with you, and that's final."

He cups my cheek, smiling sadistically. "It's so cute when you think you have a choice~!" I slapped his hand off, glaring daggers at him.

"What I said the day you shot up the club still applies now."

He sighs and reaches to grab his gun. I realized what he was doing and using my quick thinking skills, grabbed Auntie's. Soon enough Haru had Auntie on gunpoint while I had myself.

Haru stared surprised as I cocked the gun, preparing its last bullet to insert itself in my own skull. Auntie did say that she was on her final magazine, so I really hope it's shooting blanks now. And if not...

And if not, then I've been stupid. _So very, very stupid._

I take in a shaky inhale. I can't admit that I'm not scared.

"If you kill her, I'll kill myself too."

"You wouldn't."

"I wouldn't take the risk if I was you."

Haru stared me down before lowering his gun. I dropped mine slowly, keeping a keen eye on the hazel-eyed killer.

"You both are going to have a hellish life."

"I'm fine with that. As long as we're together, I'm fine with anything you have to throw at me."

"Let's see about that. It's time for this show to begin."

I braced myself as Haru springs towards, smothering me with a napkin covered in chloroform. Within a few minutes, everything folded into itself, enveloping me into the smothering darkness.

If Haru wants a fight, then we'll give him damn good one.

 

 

 

 _Act I_  
**_Fin._ **

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Bonus!**
> 
>  
> 
> As a child, she overheard them  
>  Sitting behind her brother, her mother by her side  
>  She remembers it being dark and scary  
>  But then, their words paved a way in the tunnel
> 
> _"I'm struggling. Please, I ask for your advice!"_
> 
> It formed a feeling of warmth in her  
>  And yet, she didn't understand  
>  Why did she relate to the man's plead for wisdom  
>  And why did she got inspired by the woman's words?
> 
> _"Why do I have to give you worthless advice when you have all you need in your heart?"_
> 
> She continued life asking questions  
>  And sometimes, she didn't get an answer  
>  But she somehow found her way around  
>  Wondering the return was all she could do
> 
> _"I don't understand, Miss."_
> 
> When she got older, she stopped  
>  Her brother's shadow was too dark  
>  She thought there wasn't any light anymore  
>  Before she looked up, and a mere ray smiled at her
> 
> But that was ray was enough for her to stand up  
>  And that ray was enough for her to run
> 
> _"Pain can cloud your hope, but it could never block it."_
> 
> So even if she sometimes wonder if her choice was wrong  
>  The words that she heard that day will resound in her soul  
>  As a child, she overheard them  
>  But as a woman, she understands
> 
> _"You have to find the light on the tips of the highest mountains."_
> 
> * * *
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Act I Notes:
> 
> I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I hope that didn't squeeze your heartstrings too much! And if I did then have a little internet hug!  
>  Now a heads-up for Act II, things aren't going to be as hopeful as Act I. I mean so much shit happens in Act II holy, I can't wait to Exit Music your asses.  
>  (Kidding)
> 
> ...
> 
> ~~(Or am I? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°))~~
> 
> ...
> 
>  
> 
> (Yeah, I still am)
> 
>   
>  Moving on, I have made a decoding game for you all! Each letter is the beginning of a word and each word represents a key event that will happen in Act II. Two letters mean there are two words.
> 
> Here's one for regular chapters:
> 
>  _T B_  
>  _A and S_  
>  _N_  
>  _F_  
>  A E  
>  _T W_  
>  A G
> 
> And the Dokumentary Version!:
> 
>  _T B_  
>  _A_  
>  _E_  
>  _A_  
>  _B_  
>  _H_  
>  T S
> 
> Happy Decoding!
> 
> Now, about Act I. Slow burn at its finest.  
>  Like really, it takes me five months and 22 chapters to even get halfway into the story. It's been so long, that I already planned something 'special' to go along with the series. ~~(What's that special something? Oh, you guys won't know until Act III.)~~
> 
> But I'm really glad that everyone here likes the story with its flaws. I can't thank you guys enough.
> 
> Another thing. All chapter numbers from Act I will reset in Act II. For example, the chapter name for this one is 17, but it will go back to 1 in the next chapter. Also, regular chapter dates will get removed in Act II because who keeps up with the date while you get kidnapped? In the first few chapters, it would just be October 2017, then just 2017, then finally just good ol question marks. Ah, I love damaging hearts with little details!
> 
> Finally, I have had implemented many songs in Act I, so I figured just to make an Act I playlist. Remember, I am not claiming any of these songs as mine! Feel free to check out any of the creators and songs in this list!
> 
>  _1\. Goodbye Ms. Flower Thief - Mel ft. Hatsune Miku_  
>  _2\. M/_ eody _\- Tsuji Shion_  
>  _3\. Daydream Skytrain - Orangestar ft. IA and Hatsune Miku_  
>  _4\. Re: Far - Aimer_  
>  _5\. Clouds and The Ghost - Yorushika (Ryu's theme)_  
>  _6\. Monster - Kira ft. Gumi (Haru's theme)_  
>  _7\. Hello/ How are you - Hoehoe-P ft. Hatsune Miku (Sayori's theme)_  
>  _8\. Main Actor - Minami (Natsuki's theme)_  
>  _9\. No Logic - JimmyThumb-P ft. Gumi (Yuri's theme)_  
>  _10\. Minna Migatte - GizenshaP ft. Gumi (Monika's theme)_  
>  _11\. Viator -_ Rionos _(Auntie's theme)_
> 
> And that's it, I guess. I hope you guys have a good day! See you in Act II!
> 
> **~Riri**
> 
> _Ps. Shoutout to ZombieLabs for almost getting Haru's plan right on 11 (chapter 13). You gave me a good laugh with how ironic it was._


	22. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> October 2017  
> -
> 
> "What's going on.  
> What's going on?!  
> Is this really happening?  
> Is this real life?
> 
> I couldn't believe this was happening. This feels like a hazy nightmare. Then why am I not waking up? Then why am I still here?
> 
> I was kidnapped.  
> Auntie was kidnapped.  
> We were both taken captive by Haru, the same person I tried to protect her from.  
> There is absolutely no way to escape, and even if we try, we'll get "punished."
> 
> I try to comprehend the information I was gathering, but I couldn't. It was too unreal. It still feels like a dream, and I'll wake up any second now.  
> But I'm still here.  
> I'm still here."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops, I'm a bit late on this one! Sorry about that!

_I'm in a void._

_I'm in a dark, cold void, clinging to anything to keep a strand of warmth._

_It's silent in the void. Quiet, empty and miserable. It makes my ears bleed._

_There's no end to this void. I keep on falling and falling, Only my hazy memories and endless thoughts accompany me on this journey._

_Having seemingly no choice, I fall in hopes to land on something._

_After some time, I do._

_I meet the ground bare ground before even realizing it. Getting up with a groan, I gather myself in this sinking darkness. A cold, empty dread tingles upon my spine. I felt this feeling before, but it has been years since I experienced it._

_Unwanted memories please themselves into my head, causing me to curl onto myself. They're bitter memories. Bitter. Empty. Cold. I try to control myself, panting heavily. However, the memories keep flowing as I let out a desperate cry._

_This is torture. Torture. Torture!_

_A light voice rings in the darkness. "Do you remember what Mother used to say?"_

_I perked up instantly, looking around. "Who's there?!" Everywhere I look I'm meet with more darkness. "Where are you?!"_

_"She was harsh and blunt about her words, wasn't she? She was fuming when she was mad. She was hardheaded, a narcissist, and always very busy. Do you remember, Monika?" The voice seemed to get closer every sentence she said, footsteps echoing against nonexistent walls._

_As the voice says this, ten new painful memories wedge themselves in my head. I wince, clamping my hands onto my face to make them go away. "I do. N-Now stop, please."_

_"Do you remember Father's eyes? He was very cold to us, don't you think? Although, every time we see him, we see pity in them. I wonder why..."_

_"P-Please... stop it. It hurts."_

_"This was your life, our life. Don't try to repress and forget it. Do you want me to die?"_

_"I... I just want this pain to stop."_

_The voice's light bathes over my crumbled figure as I look up to see who it is._  
_I gasp._

_"Do you remember anything from eleven years ago?"_

_Everything seemed to crumble at that very moment. The pitch black darkness began to spin. It spun and spun and spun and spun. A rich headache bangs itself from my brain to my eardrums. I couldn't hear anything. Everything just seemed to shake and twirl as I screamed. It hurts! It hurts! It hurts!_

_"I'm sorry! I went too far on accident!" The girl above panicked for a brief moment. The person then puts her hands over my ears, the pain ceasing immediately. I cry in relief._

_"It seems that the farther the year you remember your childhood, the more it hurts. I thought eleven years would still be bearable. Please forgive me!"_

_I look up to see the small figure, radiating in light. The girl stares at me worriedly, emerald eyes brimmed with tears._

_"It's... It's okay, the pain subsisted long ago. It's just... how do you exist?"_

_The girl in front of me smiles sweetly, pointing at my heart. "I'm your childhood, silly goose!" That girl was me eleven years ago, bow and all._

_I blinked as younger me leans to me, frowning slightly. "You still don't understand, don't you?"_

_"No..?"_

_"I don't blame you. You don't usually talk to a representation of yourself often."_

_"So you're a representation of my childhood?"_

_"Yep! I'm represented in a way so you won't... um... mentally freak out."_

_I blinked again. "Oh. Do you know everything?"_

_"Everything and anything! And I'm going to help you remember too!"_

_"But I recollect some things," I say frowning. "I know my childhood wasn't a great one with lots of overworking and stress, but I wouldn't repress anything!"_

_"I wish it was that simple..." She looks down, a sad smile engraved on her face. She quickly faces me again, brushing a finger at my heart. "Trust me on this one, okay?"_

_I stared at her, unsure. I really should believe her, but..._  
_"Why now?"_

_Unexpectedly she laughs, enclosing a hand over her mouth to stifle her giggles. She calms down after a while, smiling brightly._

_"Isn't now a perfect time?"_

* * *

When I woke up, it was cold. I tense, fearing that I was reliving that god-awful void dream. It wasn't, seeing that it wasn't dark anymore.

I was in a large empty room, preferably.

I gaze to my side where Auntie sat. Her glowing green gaze was averted opposite of mine as Haru whispered things in her ear. I figured it was something hurtful, seeing the way her hands trembled.

Her gaze quickly met mine as she pushed Haru away from her.  
"Monika! Are you okay? Has he hurt you?"

I slowly sat up, looking at myself. No part of me seemed damaged, although I noticed that I was now in a rust-colored, oversized shirt. I didn't have my pants either, instead, I was wearing some shorts. The thought of Haru undressing me made me cringe.

"I'm fine," I said slowly, trying to process everything. "Are you okay?"

Auntie smiles lightly. "Other than some bruises I'll be all right."  
The events of earlier flashed in my mind before I glared at him. Auntie chuckles nervously.  
"Mons, no need to be angry...hehehe..."

"Good morning, Monika," Haru says, a large smile plastered on his face. "How are you doing today?"

"I don't want to talk to you."

"Aw, stop being cold. You'll warm up to this place in no time!" He glances at this room, which was moderately large.

I scowled again, averting my eyes. Both Auntie and Haru sighed, one of worry and one of irritation.

"Anyways, you haven't got used to the room yet. Let's change that!" He flips a switch, and a skinny single light bulb above of us lights up the room dimly. The light bulb was hanging off a black string.

"Lightbulb," he says, pointing at a bulb. "You can use it whenever you guys want, I don't care. When it burns out if you can ask _nicely_ , I'll maybe replace it for you." I frown, fully knowing what he meant.

"I still have a girlfriend, pervert."

"Not in here you don't."

I was about to retort back before Auntie stops me, silently squeezing my hand.  
"It's isn't worth it."

Knowing she's right I sigh, dropping the argument. Haru also dismisses the issue too, moving on with the next topic.

"Closet. You go in there if you need some personal space from... that thing."

" **HEY!** Auntie is a person, and you **WILL** treat her like one."  
Haru merely glosses over my words, pointing to a small window above our reach. It barely shows the world above, still making the little room underground secret.

"Window. There so you won't become crazy. If you escape, you will get punished. And you shouldn't leave if you value both of your sanities."

He smiles sadistically, thinking of cruel sufferings. His words gave me a shiver down my spine.

"Door. The same thing applies to the door as for the window. If you have to talk to me, knock on the door. If you yell, I'll break you. Simple."

Haru is a savage person. He likes hurting and breaking me for pleasure. That's a part of the reason why he tried to break off the literature club.

Turning to Auntie, I noticed that she's neutral faced again. I never saw her like this before.

"That's all of this place! Do you have any questions?" Both of us stay silent, and Haru takes this as a yes. "Knock if you need anything. I'll be upstairs."

And then he left.

What's going on.  
What's going on?  
Is this really happening?  
Is this real life?

I couldn't believe this was happening. This feels like a hazy nightmare. Then why am I not waking up? Then why am I still here?

I was kidnapped.  
Auntie was kidnapped.  
We were both taken captive by Haru, the same person I tried to protect her from.  
There is absolutely no way to escape, and even if we try, we'll get " _punished_."

I try to comprehend the information I was gathering, but I couldn't. It was too unreal. It still feels like a dream, and I'll wake up any second now.  
But I'm still here.  
I'm still here.

"What's... What's going on?" I mumble to no in particular before realizing Auntie was here with me. I turn towards her, my eyes pleading answers. "What _is_ this!?"

"I don't know," she says, sounding as confused as I am. Her breath hitches as if she's remembering something, before frowning slightly. "Did the police come when I was out?"

I shake my head, and she sighs. "They probably came soon after. Don't worry Mons, we would be out of here in no time!"

Yeah, she's right. A team of incredibly trained professionals is coming to look for us. Haru would be lucky if he kept us for a day at most! It wouldn't take that much time for them to find us, right?

"You're right! We will just to wait a little while for them to arrive, right?" She nods silently, smiling.

"I wonder what we should do before then..."

"Oh! Yeah, I kinda forgot about that aspect."

We both laugh, our voices echoing off the large surfaces of this barren basement. It has a kinda dull lonely vibe to it, the atmosphere outside of our small bubble of okayness full of gloom. But I wouldn't be here for long, so I don't worry about it.

"By the way, I officially hate you."

Auntie scoffs playfully. "Why?"

"We didn't have to get into this mess if you just shot him then and there." Auntie frowns lightly, as she pinches her nose.

"If I shot him _'then and there'_ then I'll risk him hurting you."

"But he wouldn't have shot me! Auntie, he loves me too much to kill me!"

"Then why are we here?!"

"Because he's a cold-hearted sadist!"

Auntie looks at me blankly, sighing. "I don't understand you and this 'love' stuff."

"To be fair, you only had one boyfriend, I don't expect you to get it."

She smiles sweetly. "It made life easier."

Thinking back to that weird "dream," younger me (I'll just call her childhood, so I won't get myself confused) said that I repressed things. I know that my uncle died a little before I was born. It must've been hard for Auntie to deal with that and then the loss of her baby right after. I mean, if I had a child with Sayori before having them both disappear, I'll don't know what I'll do. The fact that she carried on while taking care of me is outstanding! It's a part of the reason I admire her.

I wonder what Auntie was like before me. Before them. Before this. I wonder was she always this inspirational with a smile on her face in the past. And then I realized that I didn't know much about Auntie's childhood at all. Sure, I've heard bits and pieces from various sources, but never from herself. I wonder why...

"₵ⱧⱤɎ₴₳₦₮ⱧɆ₥Ʉ₥，" Ｍｏｔｈｅｒ ｗｈｉｓｐｅｒｓ ｓｉｌｅｎｔｌｙ， ｈｅｒ ｖｏｉｃｅ ｔｉｎｇｅｄ ｗｉｔｈ ｈｙｐｏｃｒｉｓｙ． "Ｃａｎ ｙｏｕ ｗａｔｃｈ Ｍｏｎｉｋａ ａｇａｉｎ？ Ｉｃｈｉｒｏ ａｎｄ Ｉ ｈａｖｅ ｔｏ ｇｏ ｔｏ ｔｈｉｓ ｂｕｓｉｎｅｓｓ ｍｅｅｔｉｎｇ ａｇａｉｎ．"

Ｔｈｅ ｌａｄｙ ｍｏｔｈｅｒ ｗａｓ ｔａｌｋｉｎｇ ｔｏ， ₵ⱧⱤɎ₴₳₦₮ⱧɆ₥Ʉ₥ ｓｉｇｈｓ ｄｅｆｅａｔｉｎｇｌｙ． Ｓｈｅ ｗａｓ ｗｅａｒｉｎｇ ａ ｐｕｒｅ ｗｈｉｔｅ ｄｒｅｓｓ， ｄｉｐｐｅｄ ｉｎ ｓｎｏｗ．

 ~~"Ｏｋａｙ Ｈａｒｕｋａ，"~~ ｈｅｒ ｖｏｉｃｅ ｗａｓ ｓｔｒａｉｎｅｄ ａｎｄ ｅｍｏｔｉｏｎｌｅｓｓ． ~~"Ｉ ｃａｎ＇ｔ ｓａｙ ｎｏ ｗｈｅｎ ｗａｔｃｈｉｎｇ Ｍｏｎｉｋａ！"~~

Ｉ ｃｏｕｌｄｎ＇ｔ ｆｏｃｕｓ ｏｎ ａｎｙｔｈｉｎｇ ｂｕｔ ｈｅｒ ｆａｃｅ． Ｉ ｃｏｕｌｄｎ＇ｔ ｒｅｃｏｇｎｉｚｅ ｉｔ， ｈｅｒ ｆａｃｅ ｂｌｏｃｋｅｄ ｗｉｔｈ ₳ ₩Ⱨł₮Ɇ ₵ⱧⱤɎ₴₳₦₮ⱧɆ₥Ʉ₥ ₣ⱠØ₩ɆⱤ.Ｉ ｃｏｕｌｄ ｏｎｌｙ ｆｏｃｕｓ ｏｎ ｉｔ ａｓ ｉｔ ｓｐｉｎｓ ａｎｄ ｓｐｉｎｓ ａｎｄ ｓｐｉｎｓ ａｎｄ ｓｐｉｎｓ ａｎｄ ｓｐｉｎｓ ａｎｄ－！

"-ons!? You okay? You've been spacing out for a long time now."

I blinked, getting out of whatever daze I was in. I slowly recognize the room. Window. Closet. Door. Emptiness. What... What was happening again? Oh yeah, still kidnapped. Damn.

"I'm fine! I guess the aftereffects of that drug is still taking effect."

"I hope he hasn't smothered that stuff on you too much."

"I'll be fine Auntie! This is just a one-time thing."

She frowns deeply. "Drugs could have a long time effect on you, you know." She sighs and gazes out the small window above, almost in remembrance.

To think of it, I never felt so disoriented. Everything I remember up since Haru left was hazy, and I don't remember half of what we were talking about. Weird...

We talked for a while, our minds trying to push the fact that we are still in an empty basement. While Auntie was smiling, a thought passes through my mind. Even though we're really close, I don't know that much about her, don't I?

Abruptly, the door opens again. We both freeze in fear, my hand squeezing hers. My guard goes up as soon as I saw his face.

"Why are you here?" I snapped, glaring bullets at him.

"You don't want to stave, don't you?"

I scowl, averting my eyes, not admitting anything.

"I'm fine myself," Auntie says beside me, her voice much lighter than mines. "I still don't trust you enough."

Haru shifts his gaze to her for several seconds before it returning to me.

I don't say anything, not wanting to admit anything again. Haru takes the hint and smiles widely, kneeling down to me.

"Now, let me feed you."

"Wha-!? Absolutely not."

"I don't trust you with forks just yet. I never know if you would stab me with it~!"

Wow, thanks for the idea. I glare, not wanting to do this whole unnecessary ordeal. Haru gazes back, his large, creepy simper almost mocking me. This boy is really getting on my nerves.

He was different since I last saw him. His eyes were blown out, white rings circling them. His smile was a large slim curve and what was even creepier was that he always had the smile on.

He has a more demanding attitude too. Sayori said he was taking more drugs than he usually did when she used to go on those ' _meetings_ ' with him. So I guess this is what it is.

But still, I took a bite of food out of his fork. I don't know when we would be getting out of this basement and, to be honest, I'm getting a bit scared. Should the police be already here? Should I be home right now?

I gulp down the burning feeling of my anxieties before they could pour out. I will be fine. Auntie will be fine. We will be okay.  
We will be okay.  
We will be okay.

I'm not going to let someone like Haru be the cause of me losing my mind.  
If Haru wants a fight, then we'll give him one.

Although momentarily I feel quite vulnerable. As I took another bite, the feeling of hopelessness comes over me. Will I ever break free if Haru has this much power? I don't know, I don't know.

After a little while, Haru gets up and beams. There are sparkles in his eyes as what I could assume was warmness fills him.

"That wasn't as hard, wasn't it?"

I frown at him, giving the cold shoulder. Again, he's oblivious to it, leaning down to quickly peck my cheek before leaving. I wiped it off immediately, irritated.

~~_I'm sorry Sayori. I'm sorry Sayori. I'm sorry Sayori._ ~~

Giving myself a few moments to calm down, I turned to Auntie who was still holding my hand.

"Are you sure you didn't want any?"

"Nope, I'm perfectly fine! Just not hungry, that's all."

Somewhat content with my answer, I broke off hands with Auntie for the first time since Haru came back to lay down on the old floorboards. Having the rust-colored floorboards above me to stare at, I felt myself... change?

I suddenly felt lighter, almost as if I was floating, despite this situation. I felt lighter, happier, warmer. However, the change was so slight that I brushed it off and focused on something else.

"Hey, Auntie?" I asked lightly, my eyes gazing at the odd holes above.

"Mmm?"

"I realized that I don't know much about your past. Do you think you would tell me one day?"

Auntie doesn't respond for a while, so I assume that she's surprised. When she does answer, her voice is tinged with not only confusion but also some concern.  
"Where did this come from?"

"It's very dull in here, so I started thinking of stuff. You are okay with that, are you?"

"Yeah, it took me by surprise. You don't usually say things like that."

"I wonder why..."

The warm feeling from earlier grows to reach every muscle in my body. Euphoria fills my brain as I press my hands onto my face to stop it. Each second it gets harder to fight for control. I don't know what's happening, but every inch of my body says I need to fight it. To end it.  
To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To end it. To-!

"-nika? Your spacing out again."

I smiled, slowly placing my hands away from my face. And just then, everything seemed right in the world. Everything just clicked.

"Hey, Auntie~?"

"Yes, Mons?"

I sat up, my emerald eyes shining as they stared the short-hazel haired woman down. My body, my soul, never felt this blissful despite everything else seeming bitter.  
But I'll make everything sweet again!  
Sweet. Sweet. Sweet.

"Don't you think being in here is a tad depressing?" I crawl closer to her. "Do you want to make life fun again?" My words slur a bit, but I didn't care. I want to make everything sweet again.  
Sweet. Sweet. Sweet.

"Monika! What's up with you?"

I continue to crawl closer, a chuckle emitting out of my lazy smile. "Haha... I feel so _damn_ good right now. So good that I don't want to think about anything else! You know what, fuck Haru. Fuck being kidnapped. Fuck home. Let's have fun right here, right now."  
Sweet. Sweet. Sweet.

Auntie scoots back a bit, her eyes widening in fear. I don't know why doesn't she knows that I just wanna have fun? Haha... girls just want to have fun! Look at that, a song reference!

"Mons, are you okay?"

"I said I'm perfectly fine. You, however, are filled with fear. I just want to make you happy, you see. I'm not scary!" I hugged her, trying to squeeze this warm euphoria feeling to her. I felt chills on her back. Oh no! Am I doing something wrong?

Auntie gasps for some reason when I hug her, but I hug her anyway. She'll get used to it.  
And then a whisper escapes, light and quiet, yet I could hear it loud and clear.

"Mom-!"  
The room is suddenly quiet. Auntie cups her hands over her mouth, realizing her mistake. I slowly got off her, staring at her questioningly.

"Mom? Is my mother here somewhere? I really don't want her to be here, it would ruin our time."

"You're not... in pain?"

"Why would I be?"

Auntie stares at me in shock at my reaction for some reason I can't think of at this time because I'm having the time of my life! I giggle, feeding off the ecstasy of this warm feeling.

"Auntie your hair is soft as cotton! I never noticed that before..."

"Oh god." Auntie quickly recovers and gets up before I could grab hold of her mellow locks. I stared up at her, pouting.

"Mons you're high. Settle down, would you?"

"I never want to get down!"

Auntie sighs, running her fingers in her hair. "This is going to be a long night."

"Yay!"

* * *

"What were you thinking?!"

Auntie's harsh whispers woke me up from a not-so-restless sleep. I mainly pretended to go to sleep to stop her from doting over me. If I'm being completely sincere, that's a thing I mildly dislike about her, but whatever.  
She's sweet enough for me~!

She's sweet... except for now. She's being bitter right now. I would give her a warm hug, but the floor is really comforting right now. It's so comfortable that I'll have sex with Sayori on this floor. Maybe she'll like it too!

Wait...!  
Way to go, Monika, you just said you'll fuck Sayori without being embarrassed! Yay!

...

But she's not here. Nobody's here except for Auntie and me.

...

I really miss them.

...

I want to see them soon.

...

No, I will see them soon. That's sweet!  
Sweet! Sweet! Sweet!

"What do you mean 'you put CBD oil in the food on accident'?! She could've overdosed on it, you dumbass!"

"I was high, I didn't know what I was doing!"

Oh yeah, the reason why I'm up in the first place. Auntie and Haru's whisper conflict. Looking at it, I think that Auntie's winning the fight by a long shot.

Wait, did Auntie jUST CURSED?!  
Holy shit she did!  
I sigh, feeling my non-existent pockets. The only time I don't have my phone.

Instead of recording this rare masterpiece, I just decided to watch it in the moment instead. The fighting quickly made me very sleepy but gave me more of a warm feeling inside. I instantly accepted this change of state, closing my somehow heavy eyes and embracing sleep once again.

#  _**BOOM!** _

My eyes fluttered open once again to see Auntie on her knees, grabbing her side in pain. Her gasps for air were like she was hanging on for dear life. Haru was now above her, a silver gun in hand.

I try to scream, but I couldn't. I realized I couldn't move at all. But I try again and again because I don't want Auntie to die. Please don't let her die!

After getting a sufficient amount of air into her lungs, she looks up to her white ringed shooter in anger. Her words were breathless and airy but packed the most sternness and violence I have ever seen from her.

"The world... The world _**despises** _ people like you."

Haru merely leaves her to tremble in pain, leaving the room in silence. She takes a few seconds to regain her breath again before turning to me and brightens, pulling out a rubber bullet from... somewhere.

"Ha... Don't worry... I'll be fine! It was just a rubber bullet."

I sigh in relief, smiling softly. Although, I am still unable to do anything.

"You should get some sleep, Mons. You're really out of it."

I was about to agree with her, before remembering something. Willing my lips to say one more thing, I whispered.

"I love you."

Auntie smiles."I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I slightly took inspiration on this chapter from the dozens of fanfics where someone accidentally gets high. Thank you for the inspiration!


	23. Dokumentary #1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Video #2  
> 10/16/17  
> Description: A suffocating fear can be escapable by a single laugh. How weird.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so grateful. 100 kudos?! Thank you! Thank you guys so much! I appreciate your guys interest in this story.

Monika had always been stubborn. The whole club knew that. She was stubborn about poems being written on time and how to run her club. She was stubborn about her anxiety attacks when they were first revealed. She was stubborn, not as much as Natsuki, but not as little as Sayori. And, well, that was what makes her Monika.

Yuri had remembered some time ago that she had told the brunette that she wasn't going to listen to her anymore. She recalled she had a joking manner to her words back then, despite the club president almost getting killed. However, her words were long forgotten until now.

She remembered last night, staring at the group chat in bewilderment on Monika's current messages. The green chat boxes stared at her back, white letters dancing in her retinas.

-

_We are the Literature Club_

_Moni: Fuck_  
_Moni: I don't have much time, but I really love you all_  
_Moni: And sorry. I'm doing something pretty stupid, so I wanted to say my sorry_  
_Moni: I really appreciated the time we spent together_  
_Moni: Now I really got to go_  
_Moni: <3_

-

Yuri had read her words, again and again, trying to process it. This can't be real, right? No, this can't. It can't be. Something so sudden, so unrealistic, couldn't be happening!

And yet it was.

That night Sayori had desperately been trying to add her back after she deleted herself. Natsuki had been texting her over and over in their personal conversation. While Yuri just stared at the screen, reading, and reading, until her phone shut off from low power.

"But are you sure?" Yuri remembers saying to Monika when she found out he had killed her father. "What if he kills somebody else close to you? What if he still comes? What if you both get killed?!"

"I don't know, Yuri," Monika had said. "All I know is that I can't let that fool hurt my aunt."

She remembers her words crisp and clear like they were the leaves on this lazy autumn day. They were bursting of hurt, independence, and stubbornness. Yuri likes to think that they both knew they had been. Monika is self-aware of herself most times anyway.

However, she never saw this coming. Whatever _'this'_ was. Haru must've come, and Monika or her aunt must be seriously hurt. Yuri lets the thought repeat itself through the echoes of her mind. Monika was too stubborn for anything to happen to any single one of her family, which made her worry more.

She realized that because the club president was stubborn, she was unpredictable.

She conceived a literature club off a whim. Barely had enough members in time for the festival. Dated a boy so she won't break his heart. Almost gave up her life to save her flawed club members. Kicked out her parents because of a passion. And flew a plane to go to her Auntie's place that is all the way in Florida. She did all of this remarkable stuff, just because she was unpredictable. Just because she was stubborn.

Yuri was used to this stuff. Despite herself being quite restricted, she's around what's she thinks are the three most unpredictable people in the world. God, she loves them, but they're always doing something very sudden. Somehow, she continually gets wrapped into their shenanigans.

So, this would've been very predictable for Monika. She had already almost given up her life for them so she would've for her aunt. But...

But, she never thought it would irritate her this bad.

Last night, she remembered rubbing her old drawings across her arm after her phone shut off. She wasn't digging her nails into them, causing them to bleed. No, she was merely touching the surface, admiring what used to be a red, troubled line of desperation and addiction was now only a thin white line running across pale skin. The purple haired girl was eight months clean. An achievement she never thought she'll accomplish. And yet, here we are.

She remembers the way her drawings used to sting. An eruption of the blood and pain before the bliss and ecstasy of fulfilling the deed. It always felt like a weight has been lifted off her shoulders, that her emotions and feelings were being let out by the blossoming rose ink instead of her words. One time, she described it being better than sex because she felt that she was able to express her feelings more. She felt better hurting herself rather than pleasuring herself.

She doesn't feel that way nowadays. Her friends were able to shake her until she was aware of herself and her actions before her ink dried up. She would be foremost thankful for them, but she always found herself rubbing against the white lines gently, reminiscing on the past. However, last night she thought about the pain she went through by her scars.

Yuri found that the pain from losing Monika was far more painful than what she could ever inflict on herself.

It made it worse that no one knew what happened to her. She sent her last messages yesterday and never answered again. Her status was always offline, her location was off, and call history was quiet. There was no sign of the brunette like having no sign of a pebble after it was swept up from the stormy tides. There was nothing she could do either, which made her feel inferior and worried.

Monika was her friend and having her being hurt or... something worse forms a small hole in her heart. It's tiny, but it feels so bare and vacant there that she's pleading for it to be filled. But... nothing came.

And as Yuri's thinking of these things, her head leaning on her palm looking at the hazy autumn sky, she wonders how much longer until she finally gets out of this suffocating darkness of obliviousness? She wonders if the outcome she'll receive would be the one she wants?  
She wonders if Monika was dead at this very second, would she be able to handle it?

Suddenly a hand came down and slammed her desk, causing her to jolt from her daze. She looks up to the person in front of her. Two bright pink eyes stare at her back.

"N-Natsuki! What was that for?!"

"I called out, and you weren't responding," she replies, frowning. "Your eyes weren't on a book, so I knew you were out of it."

"And... why did you have to startle me?"

Natsuki crimsons slightly, averting her eyes. "Ohnoreason! Just... hurry up and read with me! I don't have all day!" She impatiently taps her foot below her, a soothing rhythm.

Yuri's eyes widen. Was the girl who once said "manga was literature" is actually requesting her to read together!? She couldn't help but crimson herself, smiling a small, content, smile.

"I'm glad that you are beginning to explore other genres, Natsuki," she speaks in a calmer manner. She could feel her stress from earlier fade away. "Is there a specific genre you would like to read? Mystery? Horror? Science Fiction?"

The pinkette shrugs her shoulders, emitting a small sigh. "I'll just read whatever you have."

Yuri digs through her bag, pulling out a weighty novel. This was the novel Monika gave her before she left. It was about a girl trying to achieve her aspiration of being in the student government. However, once she's in, eerie things start to happen to the members, and it's her responsibility to figure it out. The purple bookworm was already halfway in, but she is pleased to start from the beginning with Natsuki.

"Would you like to read this one?"

Natsuki looks stunned at the thickness of the book before she swallows what Yuri could assume was her pride. Her smile was lopsided, but Yuri loved it. It builds up a fluttering feeling in her chest that, according to Sayori and Monika, was named love. It was amusing really, nobody would've predicted that Yuri was attracted to the pinkette, and yet, here she was. Having butterflies over a lopsided, half effort, smile.

"I'll go get a seat," Natsuki responds wearily. Yuri merely nods, trying to calm herself. In the meantime, her eyes glance over to Sayori, who was at Monika's desk, writing something. She looks up from her seat and smiles at her. A tired, smaller, smile from her usual ones. The vice president has been quiet ever since Monika sent those last messages. Yuri's worried for her, but unfortunately, it's out of her control to make Sayori happy in a time like this. She promises herself to get in time to talk with her, though.

Natsuki quickly moved a chair from a nearby desk to sit with Yuri. After getting her thoughts situated, she wordlessly turns to the first chapter.

"What's going on?" Yuri asks after they read a few pages. Needless to say, since she already had read this part a little while ago, she focused on Natsuki more instead. Her facial expression was emphasized as she looked like she was extremely focused. Yuri was amazed. What was going on? Who is the girl beside her and what did she do to the real Natsuki?

The pinkette gaze glides to her, frowning. "I'm fine. I just felt like switching things up a bit."

"R-Right. Sorry."

"Don't say sorry. You do that a lot."

"O-Oh...um...let's continue?"

Natsuki nods as her eyes drifted back to the little words on the pages. ~~White words on top of green boxes~~ Black words on top of coffee-colored pages. Letters, zooming across sentences and pages. Each character, each stroke, has its own individual aim to form the make-believe world that Natsuki is experiencing. It is astonishing, indeed. Officers and generals have thousands of missiles and rifles, and still, a single stroke of a writer's can knock them all down.

"Hey, Yuri?"

Yuri perks from her trance again, quickly glimpsing at Natsuki. "Yes?"

"Um..." The pinkette purses her lips in hesitation, thinking her question over. She steals a glance at the vice-president, who had used up all her energy, and was now quietly snoring on Monika's desk. The two briefly look on in worry for their exhausted friend before Natsuki stares at Yuri again.

"Can you... read the words for me?"

"What?"

Yuri immediately regrets her words when Natsuki crimsons. "It's not like I need you to read it to me, idiot. It just... how do you read words as tiny as this?!" Yuri mentally sighs in relief. This was the Natsuki she knows and loves.

"You just have to get used to it."

"I don't want to get used to it. Staring at the words makes my head spin."

Yuri stares at her before sighing, giving up. "Fine. Just this once, okay?"

Natsuki smirks, nudging Yuri's arm lightly. "I knew you won't it pass up."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Natsuki laughs softly, careful not to disturb Sayori. It was a bright thing. A sound that Yuri missed dearly, nearly drowning from this inescapable fear, but just heard yesterday. Light and airy was it, like bubblegum clouds, a sweet treat Natsuki recently wrote in one of her poems. Although Monika and her fate were still in her mind, Natsuki's laugh lightens the circumstance. Maybe, just maybe, Monika and her aunt are fine. Monika's phone must've been damaged, and she couldn't call them, that's all. Yuri needed to find the slivers of hope somewhere, like in Natsuki's laugh, to carry her through.

The butterflies were back again, and they lit up Yuri's smile.

The two resumed reading after their little giggle fit. Yuri read the words carefully and slowly, knowing that Natsuki couldn't probably peruse as fast as her yet. Natsuki was interested in the novel herself as Yuri hoped, concentrating her hardest.

It was kinda cute seeing Natsuki like this. Her upper lip in some sort of pout as she comprehends the text in front of her. Her eyebrows furrowed in utmost attention. How her eyes twinkle at plot points as the autumn sun bathes on them both. And though she'll never admit that her, she seemed adorable trying to read one of Yuri's novels. It was a sight only the purple bookworm would be able to see, and she cherished it devotedly.

Secretly glancing one more look at the pinkette, Yuri decides to focus on the novel once again.

* * *

_Yuri woke up gazing at a bleeding sky and a floor that was filled with the blood of thousands Red Spider Lillies._

_Lycoris Radiatas is what they are named, but they're known for being labeled Red Spider Lillies, the flowers of the afterlife. The sprawled onto the ground, crowding Yuri's frame. Crimson was what was bled from the dull sky too, gently seeping onto the soil._

_She sat up to be met with expectedly more spider lilies. They were in full bloom, their thin and gentle petals pointing upwards to the sky. Yuri carefully touches a leaf, curious. She never saw Spider Lillies before since they were naive in Japan. They're supposed to bloom there this season, aren't they?_

_Abruptly a[piano](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hkr00TwhKQ) starts playing. Yuri peers up from the scarlet plant, looking around. Everything stilled as she stiffens._

_"The aurora connects all of the world's loneliness and covers the night sky._  
_It shines on through tonight."_

_Yuri turns behind her to see Monika standing there, her lips displaying a small smile. She wears a dress made up of spider lilies, scarlet hugging her pale body. She holds a spider lily the color of fresh snow in her hands, uncontaminated from this vermilion planet._

_"Just how many wishes will be granted?_  
_Just how many desires will be delivered onward to a tomorrow we've yet to see?"_

_Her eyes were colorless._

_The emeralds were gone, replaced with white optics. It seemed like Monika didn't have any at all. But if she stared long enough, she'll see hints of them._

_"Monika?"_

_The club president eyes somehow shined as they fell on her, her smile larger._

_"Hello, Yuri. Welcome to the field of flowers."_

_The piano's sound began to deliberately play quieter until it was a mere sound in the background. Monika sat down with Yuri, her hands on her lap. She looks down at the lily before closing her eyes in thought._

_"You know that these blossoms represent death, right?" Yuri nods as Monika's colorless eyes gaze at her. She chuckles, cupping her cheek. "I always loved these flowers. Their meanings of light and dark compel me."_

_They were both were quiet once again, the sound of the piano ringing in the background, until Yuri speaks._

_"I may be pardon, but who are you?"_

_The white Monika stops playing with the petals of the snowy lily and gazes at her. She wasn't surprised or stunned, no, the opposite. It seemed she knew the purple haired girl will ask that. Her characterless eyes shone as she murmured at a much fainter sound._

_"You're a bright girl, Yuri. It's true that I'm not Monika, much rather an idea of her in your subconscious. You see, you're sad, aren't you?"_

_Yuri crimsons, averting her purple gaze. "I'm worried, that's all."_

_White Monika frowns, forcing Yuri to stare at her again. "I know, but you don't look on the bright side of things. You need to begin now or Monika being absent is going to destroy your mind."_

_"But how am I suppose to be okay when my friend has the probability of being-!"_

_Monika presses her finger lightly on Yuri's lips, shushing her. "I know as much as you do, and the truth is, I don't know. But may you at least try?"_

_Yuri was quiet before she hesitantly nodded, and the finger was removed. The white Monika was smiling again, a small smile from earlier._

_The song on the piano ended as she wrapped the purple haired girl in an abrupt tight embrace, almost suffocating her. After a few moments, the hug loosens as Monika sits in front of her to insert the white flower in Yuri's long sea of hair._

_"I'm sure the real Monika would've wanted to give you that. She's a unique type of love, don't you think?"_

_Yuri agreed again, stunned, as Monika stood up._

_"Although this meeting was brief, I must go. Goodbye Yuri, I hope you remember our promise."_

_"Goodbye, Monika. Thank you."_

_The colorless Monika waved before running off in the field of Red Spider Lillies, disappearing._

* * *

"Oy. Wakey, wakey, sleepyhead."

Natsuki's light snapping misted away Yuri's drowsiness as she scarlets.

"I'm sorry! Was I out for too long?"

Natsuki's snapping suddenly stopped as she stares at her. Pink clashing against purple.

"N-No it's fine. I just got up seconds before you. Also, stop saying sorry."

"Oh...um...I'm remorseful."

Natsuki sighs. "Good enough."

Yuri rubs her eyes, ridding herself from sleep. Gazing at the window, she realized how much time she spent here. It was remarkably late, an apricot sun grounding in on the town. Yuri frights, immediately standing up to get her materials. She scans the room to see that Sayori was gone completely.

"Where's Sayori?!"

"I don't know, she probably didn't wait for us." Natsuki browses her desk once more before running over and seizing a paper. "Wait! She'd left a note!"

Yuri hurriedly squeezes next to Natsuki, reading the letter herself.

_Heya Natsuki and Yuri!_

_Club time was over, but I didn't want to disturb you both. (You guys looked too cute!) So I decided to leave first! If you guys are reading this then I'm at home right now, so don't worry! I'll see you when you two wake up!_

_~Sayori <3_

_(Ps. Don't forget to lock up the club! Keys are on Monika's desk!)_

_(Pss. If you guys are having trouble call me! I'll have nothing to do, so I'll be there in around five minutes...? >.<)_

_(Psss. I know this is getting long, but I wanted to say that I love you guys! Try not to do anything harsh, okay?)_

The two read the letter in worry. Sayori isn't okay. None of them were okay, actually. Though, Sayori had taken the news the worse. They could see it in her eyes, her smile. She was hurting terribly.

...

But, that would hurt too much to say, so Yuri instead murmurs that she will talk to her shortly.

Natsuki continues to pack her bag when they finished reading Sayori's letter. Yuri was already done, leaning on the doorframe, keys in hand.

"Ready to lock up," she says, a bittersweet smile on her face.

Natsuki swings her bag over her shoulder, looking at a window behind her.

"No, not yet."

"Oh?"

Natsuki lowers at the lilac purple haired girl, sighing silently. "Hey, Yuri..."  
The room develops a tense silence while the two girls try to gain confidence.

"...You miss Monika, am I right?"

Natsuki blushes intensely, turning away from Yuri. Though the pinkette didn't say anything, proving the lilac girl right. She wrapped her into an awkward side hug, ignoring all of the butterflies swooning in her abdomen.

"She won't be gone for long," she susurrates, pulling the smaller girl closer. "Monika has always been stubborn, and I know she wouldn't take orders from a _dirty_ man like him."

"But he's a lovesick serial killer, Yuri! Though he won't kill her, she would probably..."

"You're worried about her losing her mind?"

Natsuki wordlessly nods.

"Well, I had read some novels about how love is a potent motivator. Despite everything, love could be the one things that move you forward. I'm sure when she feels there's nothing left, she'll think of us. As club president-!"

"It's her responsibility to love us," Natsuki continued, rolling her eyes. Though, her eyes were shining as she chuckles genuinely.

"As Monika would say, she's finding a sunrise from a dark twilight." They smiled at each other before a clap startled them as they quickly got away from each other.

They both flushed. "SAYORI!?"

The person who clapped laughed, her eyes glistening. "Aw, Yuri, you're too sweet!"

"Weren't you suppose to be home?!"

"I was," she examines, pouting. "But then I got worried that you guys wouldn't come home in time. There are five more minutes until the school locks their doors."

The two looked at a clock seeing that, Sayori was in fact, right. They rushed to get their abandoned bags and went home, not before locking up the club of course! They made it out to the school in the nick of time to see an orange sun make it's final descent down to the earth, bringing forth the night.

Yuri could only hope that tomorrow will be a better day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song that White Monika sung was Kanashimi wa Aurora ni or Sorrow is in the Aurora. The singer is lyrics Aimer, my favorite singer. Go send her some love!
> 
> Sorrow is in the Aurora: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hkr00TwhKQ
> 
> Sorrow is in the Aurora lyrics: http://www.animelyrics.com/jpop/aimer/kanashimiaurora.htm


	24. 2*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> October, 2018  
> -
> 
> Bubble! Bubble! Please don't pop!
> 
> Your carefree floating fascinates me  
> And you mask the reality of situations.  
> One is enough fun for two of us!
> 
> So, bubble! Bubble! Please don't pop!
> 
> *-Warning! Not for the faint of heart!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah, happy 2019 everyone! I hope you all had a nice New Years!
> 
> As for my lateness for posting this chapter, I don't really have a excuse. I just wrote slowly for this chapter for some reason. But as some people say, quality over quantity!
> 
> {Update: Oh shi. I almost forgot to post the first part of this.}

*** Mild abuse themes are in this chapter! Please skip if your sensitive to any of these things!**  

* * *

No

No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

This isn't happening.

This cannot be happening.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No-!

Auntie peers at to me for the fifth time today, physically fighting back laughter. "Mons, you have to believe me someday."

"No! I refuse to believe such a blatant lie."

Based on the window above us, it's been three days since we been here. Three days.   
72 hours.  
Oh god.

I would be much more worried if two out of the three days I didn't have to try to come down from this awful high. I'm sick and tired and want to get out of this place.

It's gotten to the point that Auntie has started laughing to my stubbornness to believe her and myself about that night. I don't want to! Listen, do you expect me to accept that I have sung Girls Just Want to Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper fifty times?!

No. Nope. Never. In your dreams.

"Don't be so headstrong Mons. For your first time you...hehe... you were..." She laughs, unable to contain herself anymore. I groan, putting my hands over my face in frustration.

"I can't rely on you for anything," I say, sniffling from congestion.

"You were really out of it! I couldn't lie!"

"Are you sure you're an adult?"

Auntie wipes her tears from laughing too hard, smiling. "Honestly, I don't know anymore."

I groan again, my mind forcing me to relive embarrassing memories. Although there are some parts that I don't understand. Like when Auntie said-!

"Oy Mons? Are you going to space out forever?" Auntie presses her index finger lightly onto my cheek, pursing her lips.

"Oops! Sorry."

Auntie playfully presses her finger one more time, earning her hand a light slap. She giggles, retracting her hand and looking out the window. A small slither of blue sky suggested it was the afternoon...or morning... we didn't know anymore. Ever since we lost track of the days, we lost track of the dates, leaving us knowing it's just a sunny Monday in October. The possibility of being here enough to forget the month is scary, but we won't be here that long, so why think of it?

We won't, will we?

Will we?

Four days.  
96 hours.  
 _96._  
Oh god.

Auntie speaks again, her voice in a more quieter tone. "Did you ask me something a few days ago? Something about..." She trails off, trying to remember. I recollected what she meant quickly.

"Your past?"

"Oh. That."

I sat up to meet her eyes, frowning. "Was it bad?"

She averts her eyes while a bittersweet smile appears on her face. "I mean..."

What does she...  
Oh..!  
Oh.  
Damn it, Monika.

"Wait...oh! Oh, sorry! I forgot about my uncle!"

"Hey! I wasn't even thinking about Ryu! It's just..."

She trails off, staring into my eyes, gazing for a light, a buzz, something! We stayed that way for a while, emerald staring into emerald. Her eyes shone as her hands started to shake in fear. But she sighs, mentally preparing herself before continuing.

"Do you remember ₵ⱧⱤɎ₴₳₦₮ⱧɆ₥Ʉ₥?"

"...Chrysanthemum?"

Auntie stared on in confusion before she blinked out of her trance. A smile spreads across her lips as she looks out the window, bringing her knees to her chest.

"...Yeah, Chrysanthemum! She was my mother."

Wait, what?  
Wait, what?!

"Your mother?! Why don't I know her?"

Auntie opens her mouth, but no words come out. Instead, a sly grin appears.

"You have to figure that out yourself~!"

"How am I suppose to figure that out when I know nothing about her?"

"You'll see."

"Stop acting mysterious."

"I'm telling the truth little missy."

I scoff. "'Little Missy?' That's a nickname you'll give a six-year-old."

Auntie raises an eyebrow, that same grin on her face. "Aren't you six?"

I jokingly push her away. "Shut up."

She laughs at her joke before resuming. "My mother used to watch you when I--! I mean, your parents were out."

"Didn't you used to watch me?"

"Yeah, but this was very early in your life, and I was still in the military. When I had time off, I'd see you both. You two being together was super cute!"

"Your definition of cute is embarrassing, no thanks."

"Hey!" She pouts before she purses her lips, thinking. "It's _sometimes_ embarrassing. I swear these aren't."

"No thanks, Auntie."

"Fine. Although, there's a photo album in the house filled with baby pictures. You would love it~!"

"It has pictures of ₵ⱧⱤɎ₴₳₦₮ⱧɆ₥Ʉ₥?"

"It has pictures of everyone."

I chuckle lowly. "Of course. Lovely."

"Don't 'of course' me! I spent lots of time planning the right moment, taking the right pictures, and printing them all in high quality so I can show you them now. All so I can rub them into your face and say I can be a great--!" She abruptly pauses, cutting herself off. Averting her eyes her smile turns bittersweet as she relishes in memories undiscovered to me. "...All so I can say I can be a great mother."

I frown, eyeing her sadly. "Auntie..."

She waves me off. "I know, I know. This really isn't the place to talk about _her_ , but... _she's_ been really bugging me lately."

Auntie never had the chance to name her baby, so she calls her by her pronouns. She likes to keep her unnamed. She used to say it's like having a door unlocked. Loads of memories can't be able to all fit in a single name.

Though, those memories hurt her every day. She's gone through many trials of death and sadness that others couldn't imagine going through. Her wish? Shattered. Her love? Broken. And yet, having the spirit to laugh and smile with me is astounding. It's why I look up to her as my role model. And, by some sort of connection, I feel like she is my mother. Certainly a better one than my real mother.

"Though we loved the military, Ryu and I just wanted to settle down after our terms. We were dumb kids, but I felt, no, I knew that I wanted to raise a baby with him. I wanted to have a child with _only_ him. When both of them died, I felt like my life was drained from purpose. Even now, I still feel a hole in my heart that aches for them." Auntie sighs, mindlessly tracing her finger on top of her chest.

"That hole seems to a bit bigger today, that's all."

I sigh. I never experienced the pain that Auntie has gone through. I'll probably never will. Though, I want to help her. I want to make her feel at least a bit better.

"Talking about it makes it feels better right? The feeling of emptiness will evaporate away if you just talk about it! And I'll try to fill the hole with happiness for a while."

Auntie stops tracing her finger and looks up. Her eyes soften as a genuine smile appears. "You're good at this. Where did you get this from, your girlfriend?"

I blush slightly, a light pink dusting that spreads across my features. "...Maybe."   
Sayori had helped me with my issues tremendously. I guess her carefree attitude rubbed off on me.

She cups her hands onto mine, warming them slightly. "Hey don't fret! I really appreciate it."

I tense, pursing my lips. Even now I still have doubts about Auntie's happiness. "You're okay?"

"I'll be fine. I have you!"

* * *

 

Tonight there was banging upstairs. A loud, abrupt, banging that ruined the mood of the whole house. The man overhead was angry for some reason.

We tried to ignore it, playing little games in our little bubble of okayness. The bubble that believed in light, happiness, and hope for getting out.

I eyed Auntie with a light smile, challenging her to another game. "Okay, ready?"

Auntie smirk, cupping her cheek in an almost sly way. "Always."

"Blanket."

"Tedious."

"Sunny."

Auntie purses her lips, stumped. Ha! I might just win this one! However, she bounces back, her eyes glimmering.

"Youth!"

Damn it! "Uhm...Hen!"

"Nature!"

"Environmental!"

"Lead!"

"Disqualification!"

I laughed at her sudden used of larger words. "You-! Naturalistically!"

"Yellowthroats!"

"Spectrophotometrically!"

"Youthfulnesses!"

"Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!"

"Wha-! Auntie you know that's not a real word!"

"According to Oxford dictionary, it is! Also, I win!"

I scoff. "No, you didn't."

Auntie grins cleverly. "Do you have anything to add, then."

I pondered it over for a while before rolling my eyes defeatedly. "Fine. You win then."

Auntie smiles proudly, knowing that she just won over the tie we had in this letter game. 13 rounds. 7 to 6. I sigh. I should maybe let her have this. I won the last two games in a row.

Suddenly a crash erupts from upstairs again. Auntie looks up, clearly displeased. He has been banging upstairs for a while now, disrupting our fun and games. I wish he could stop for a minute at least!

Of course, my wish didn't come true. In fact, the opposite happened. Another louder crash. And another. And another. And another. Each booming and increasing in violence. The moment I couldn't take anymore was when I heard yelling closer to the room than what I was comfortable with. He was close and furious, and we were like defenseless prey in that basement. I immediately grabbed Auntie's arm.

"Closet."

Auntie nods, and together we went to hide inside the closet. We couldn't lock the door because it requires a key. Go figure! Instead, we used our combined strengths to try to keep the door closed just in case he comes. Anxiety fills every part of my being as loud footsteps became closer, hauntingly closer until the door slams open. My hand instantly clasped Auntie's, an impulse I didn't notice until Auntie squeezed back.

"We'll be okay," she mouths silently. "Stay calm."

I nod, trying to even out my inhales and exhales. There's a jingle of keys outside the door, a locking of chains. We both stifled a muted gasp.

Inhale for 4 seconds.  
Hold for 7.  
Exhale for 8.

Inhale for 4 seconds.  
Hold for 7.  
Exhale for 8.

Inhale for 4 seconds.  
Hold for 7.  
Exhale for 8.

"I KNOW YOU'RE HERE, YOU LITTLE BITCH!"

Inhale for 4 seconds. Exhale for 8.  
Inhale for 4 seconds. Exhale for 8.  
Inhale for 4 seconds. Exhale for 8.

There was a massive thrust to get the door open, only rivaled with our own. Each push was gradually getting stronger, and I felt anxiety swell in my veins again. Oh god, what are we going to do? He's going to come in, and we can't do anything. He's a wolf, and we're defenseless prey. What does he want with us?! Why does he inflict this much torture on us?! Why!? Why?!

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

The door slams open  
with a loud band  
enveloping us in the  
harsh light which was  
our only light bulb.

Inhale. Exhale.  
Inhale. Exhale.  
Inhale. Exhale.  
Inhale. Exhale.  
Inhale. Exhale.

He grasps Auntie's  
arm, digging his nails  
into her very skin, as  
he pulls her out of the  
darkness.

Inhale. Exhale.  
Inhale. Exhale.  
Inhale. Exhale.  
Inhale. Exhale.  
Inhale. Exhale.

Our hands broke. My  
only connection to  
sanity was lost. The  
door closed.

Inhale. Exhale.  
Inhale. Exhale.  
Inhale. Exhale.  
Inhale. Exhale.  
Inhale. Exhale.

I felt faint as  
I hyperventilate  
in the darkness.  
Alone. Alone.  
Alone.  
Alon  
Alo  
Al  
A

Inhale.  
Inhale.  
Inhale.  
Inhale.  
In--!

  
No! I can't have another attack now! I can't! I can't!

"Auntie!" Before I can open it, Auntie pushes the door close.

"Monika, whatever you do, don't open this door." Her voice was hoarse as she struggled to breath. "Please."

"But--!"

"This is serious, Monika. Don't--!" Her sentence was cut short with a silent gasp and some more fighting. Eventually, I heard the chains clink again.

I step back, feeling the cold bare wall behind my back. I listened to the outside, incompetent, as the chains continued to ring.

"None of this would've happened," a low voice started. It shook with anger I didn't understand. "None of this! But, you just had to keep her alive."

He laughed. A low laugh that came deep from his belly, but lacks any type of emotion. It was like an empty, dry, husk devoid of life.

"You don't realize how precious you really are, Monika. I could show you how prized you are. I'll treat you like royalty. I'll give you anything! All you have to do--!"

"I'll stand by my final decision, Haru."

His breath stiffens. Everything became silent, and for a moment, I thought his anger would just evaporate away.

Before  
a  
crack  
of  
a  
whip  
_explodes_  
in  
the  
room.

No. No. No. No. _No._  
He isn't, isn't he?  
He isn't.  
No! No! No! No! _No!_

"AUNT--!"

"DON'T YOU DARE OPEN THAT DOOR MONIKA!"

There was another whip crack outside. It took all of my willpower to force my self to stand there. Unmoving. Unblinking.

"What is unique about _her_? What does she have that I don't?!"

I don't answer, my words lost in my throat. Beads of sweat trace my face, dripping on the vacant floor.  
...

...

...

I didn't know I was crying until the whip cracked two more times.

...

Slowly, my tears spill.  
Dripping down my cheeks and onto the vacant floor, devoid of warmth. Horror and sadness, dripping onto the floor. The feeling of uselessness drowning my ability to speak. I sob because I couldn't do anything.

...

Haru didn't care. He continued to whip her repeatedly. The noise, traumatizing to my very ears. I held my hands to my head, trying to block out the sound as I sob. I was greeted with only coldness.

I sob knowing I'm alone.

...

I never once heard Auntie scream. She stayed perfectly silent, only to yell when I tried to open the door.

...

The seconds seemed to prolong and repeat. However, eventually, a brief silence did come. Haru and Auntie were whispering to each other again.

Were they finally done? Can this torture finally stop? I crawl to the door and open it slightly. Surprisingly, they both didn't notice it.

Auntie's hands were above her head, chains cuffing her wrists that are tied to a steady hook above. She stared at Haru with nothing lower than straightforward hatred as she whispered to him.

Her legs were torn up.  
  
Thin, long lashes that almost circle her legs. They bruise terribly, coloring a distasteful purple, red, and blue. Small pools of blood drip off her knee and onto the floor where it hardens and is forgotten. The lashes multiply on her legs, practically on top of each other, to conserve room. I resisted my urge to yell, gag, or anything really. I forced myself to stare at the marks inflicted by him.

I also notice her arms had white scratches on them, and that Haru's face was bruised. Auntie had been fighting. Even now, she gives a small, weary but determined, smile.

"Never," she replies to a comment he had made earlier. "If you think I'll sell out my niece then you're out of your mind."

"Even if it cost your happiness?" He asked, clasping the black whip tightly.

"Monika is a large piece of my happiness. I'll do anything for her."

"Monika's my happiness too! So that's why--!"

"I don't think you get it. The way I was forced to watch you treat my niece was disgusting. What you have for her is borderline lust, and I won't let her get treated like a toy!"

"You little--! Do you know how distressed I feel without her? That's why I got her here in this undiscovered castle! To keep her here with me so we both can be happy! I bet you couldn't feel half of what I felt."

Auntie did something I never expected her to do. She laughs. It wasn't a cold one, but a warm one, filled with to the brim with memories.

"I think you're mistaken," she says after calming down. Even now she speaks with a cheerful but proper tone. "Or have you forgotten that I lost my husband 16 years ago? I loved that big dummy, and I still do! I'd did anything in my power to make him happy, and you couldn't see one of us without the other. I think that you feel that love too."

Auntie's knowing gaze glides to where I was, hiding in the closet. I gave a silent gasp, not realizing she knew I was listening in. She gives me a silent wink. "To think, we were three years in our relationship at your age."

She laughs again, this time more quietly, as her gaze broke from me and went up to Haru. "But that time is long gone, isn't it? It's been sixteen years, and I'm still not over him! It hurts, it really does, to the point that at some point I thought everyone would be happier if I died instead of him." Auntie's voice quiets down as the smile vanishes from her face. "My love for him blossoms to this day, but he's not with me anymore. Without him to fulfill my burning desire for love...no... happiness, I can't help but feel incomplete."

Something about her words flickered something in Haru as he took a cautious step back, a bead of sweat falling on his face.

"Though," she continues, a small smile reappearing in an instant. "One day I met a small child in a library. Although she was small, she got a large book, one of her firsts. I remember she was excited and was in a hurry to leave, but she dropped everything when she saw me. She left her book and ran over and clasped my hands, holding them in her tinier ones. 'Does this cast the sadness away', I remember her saying. 'I don't want anyone to be sad at a party'!"

Her quote seemed to resonate in me, even though I don't remember saying anything like that. I remember other things like the book I was holding and how it was the first time Auntie had been in one of the family gatherings my mother held every year. And despite everything in my head saying that it was stupid, I remember that day was the first time I ever _saw_ Auntie. Anything before then she disappeared, only a face in photographs. _No one_ ever saw her, in fact.

A massive migraine was brought upon me when I tried to recall more. I clasped my eyes shut until it ended.

"As I looked in her distressed emerald eyes, I realized that Ryu didn't want to see me sad. He wanted me eventually move on from him. He wanted me to smile and laugh just like when he was there. She made me realize that Ryu wanted nothing more than for me to protect our niece, and I couldn't thank her enough for it. Years later and I'm happy. Monika just came home from California, and I'm thrilled! I also tended to my flower garden to its peak, and I'm finally at peace...with everything." I open my eyes to see her tense, averting her eyes for a second.

"I get sad sometimes about Ryu still, but I remember that he would want me to keep going happily. And, I think Monika would want you to move on too. To go on and find something else that makes you happy. So, let go. For her sake."

The whole room fills with silence again, and this time I really think Haru will at least back off. Auntie's words were filled with wisdom, experience, and love. You have to be a monster to disregard what she is saying!

Heh...What am I saying? He already is.  
Him slashing the whip on her womanhood, damaging it, was only more proof.

Instinctively, I cup my mouth to refrain from yelling. My eyes widen in fear from the traumatic event. A sight burned into my retinas, forever haunting my dreams.

Auntie looks at her womanhood in fear before she crumbles onto herself, digging her head deep between her knees.

"What?" Haru insults. "Do you think I give in to your puny plea? I can't let go of Monika! I can't!! If I let go of my precious wife I'd die! No one could understand what I feel for her! **NO ONE**!"

Auntie doesn't respond, leaving her head in her knees. Her hands shook wildly above her, still chained to the window. Faintly, I heard her whisper her apology. "I'm sorry Ryu. I'm sorry that he destroyed our happy place. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough. I'm sorry I disappointed you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I'm sorry. I'm--!"

My eyes widen as the scene before me unravels. I never saw Auntie so... broken... before. She's losing her mind, bowing at Haru's feet. I'm leaving her to dance with her own misery, and I can't do anything about it! It is all hopeless.

Hopeless.

Hopeless.

Hopeless.

Hopeless.

Hopeless.

Hopeless.

Hopeless.

Hopeless.

Hopeless.

Hopeless.

Hopeless.

Hopeless.

Hope--!

Haru grips the whip in his hand again, steadying it. He's doing it again. Why is he doing it again? Hasn't she already learned her lesson, being broken and ripped to shreds again and again?

However, the longer I stared into Haru's hollow hazel eyes, answers quickly came to me.  
He isn't looking at _her._  
He's looking at _me_.  
This is my punishment for not murdering her at the start.

He treats her as a toy, a plaything that can be eventually abused and thrown away. Her screams do not matter to him. Mine do.

If I don't do something, he'll torture her until she eventually dies!  
But... I don't know what to do... Everything's hopeless--!

No! I can't think like that. There must be a way I can stop him.

So, I got up from my hiding spot and blocked Auntie from his final incoming hit.

"STOP IT ALREADY!"

...

  
...

Getting whipped hurts...a lot. The whip left such a long mark on my shoulder, the pain coursing throughout my entire body. It made it even hard to breathe. Thin sticky strips of crimson begun to pool down my shoulder and inside my shirt. I fell on the opposite wall I ran from, clutching my shoulder in pain.

Not a lot of blood was gushing out of me, but I still felt tired and cold. I huddled onto myself, trying to think of warm things...fun things.

  
"MONIKA!"  
"MONIKA!"

I jumped to see two sets of fearful but mad faces. A bead of sweat trickles down my face.

...Great, they're both mad at me!  
I haven't thought this through, didn't I?

...

Oh god.

"Monika," Auntie sang, her voice not sounding pleased. The tear stains clinging onto her face were long forgotten as she frowns at me, her eyes filled with worry. "Didn't I told you to not get out of that closet?! I feared this would happen! Oh god, what if he hit you somewhere else. What if you seriously hurt yourself? What if--!"

As Auntie continued, Haru's voice got louder to rival. "Monika you dummy! You weren't supposed to do that! I didn't want your smooth, clear, skin to have ugly scars like this. And your--!"

"Monika your very stubborn, you know that? I could've easily taken that one hit. You didn't need to sacrifice yourself for that. Your only sixteen years old so your body can't take as much pain I can. God Mon--! "

"--ika you scared me for a second. You're lucky that that wasn't my hardest hit. The pain should subside after a few days, but I don't know about that scar. Ah, who cares! I love you for who you are! Like for your sweet laughs and--!"

"And that's why children like you should not be doing stuff like that! It's my job to protect you, Monika, so allow me to protect you from things like this. It would pain me to see you meet Ryu so soon..."

"Guys it's okay," I say, facing them. "The whip didn't go in deep or anything!"

"You're bleeding," Auntie interjects, blatantly as usual.

I clasp my hand over the wound more, not wanting to see the damage. It's already nauseous enough imagining it "So? You are too!"

"I am an adult. I can handle--!"

"Ladies, Ladies," Haru interjects. "Can we not fight?"

"You started this!" we both scream.

I sighed, calming down. The injury is still weighing me down with its pain, and I don't want to be bothered by Haru right now.

"Tell me," I whispered with an irritated wisp in my voice. "You wouldn't have stopped if I hadn't stepped in right now, wouldn't you?"

Auntie, wrists still chained to the window, silently glares at me. I nod at her, assuring her that I know what I'm doing. Haru, however, looks surprised before he regains himself.

"I thought I was being discreet with it," he laughs. "You're smarter than I thought." I scowl at him, glaring at him with pure disgust. He, somehow, takes this as an excuse to continue. "I want this castle to be home to the two of us, Monika. Only the two of us. Having it--!"

"Her."

"-- _her_ here ruins the mood."

" _What mood,_ Haru?" I say, my voice empty and barren. I'm done with Haru's shenanigans. I'm tired. Auntie's tired. We don't want to do this anymore. "There's nothing between us anymore. How long till I have to get this through your thick-skulled brain?!"

"But, oh! That's when you're wrong! My feelings for you are still as clear as day and yours will surely--!"

"Leave."

The room becomes quiet for the third time today.

"...Pardon?"

"I said uncuff my Aunt and get out of my sight. _Please_."

I heard Auntie sigh wearily, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw her pout at me. However, I kept my head down until I heard the door gently shut.

Luckily Haru left us alone without so much as a word, and I got enveloped into a long-awaited warm hug.

"You okay?" I whispered.

"Are you?"

"...I'm just tired of everything. Everything seems hopeless."

That's right... Everything is hopeless.

We'll never be free.  
We'll never go outside.  
Auntie will never tend her garden again.  
I'll never see Natsuki or Yuri again.  
We'll never be happy like we used to.  
We'll never laugh and smile without a care in a world.  
I'll never be enough for Auntie. She needs her daughter, not her selfish niece.  
I'll never be able to be intimate with Sayori, Haru being her replacement.

Everything is hopeless.

Hopeless.

Hopeless.

Hopeless.

Hopeless.

Hopeless.

Hopeless.

Hopeless.

Hopeless.

Hopeless.

Hopeless.

Hopeless.

Hopeless.

Hopeless.

Hopeless.

Hopeless.

I hug Auntie tighter as I began to wail on her arm. The older woman didn't seem to mind or care in that matter, gently rubbing the stress away from my back.

"It's okay Mons. It's okay."

"W-Will i-it?" I sniffled, looking up. Auntie smiles lightly.

"I'm sure of it."

Though Auntie's words lifted my spirits, I still sob into her loving embrace, both of us knowing that I don't fully believe them yet.

I could only hope that tomorrow will be a better day.

* * *

**Bonus!**

 

Auntie stares at the window above, humming to herself quietly. The blanket of dark blue and the stars dotting along the night sky intrigues her, although the window itself is barely big enough to see out of.

The night sky is peaceful this time of day. Nothing made a sound except for their hushed breathing and the wind rustling with the trees. The moon lightens their tiny room, immersing them in luminescence.

Auntie hugs the sleeping Monika tighter. The poor girl has gone through hell and back today, so it didn't surprise her she had passed out soon after she was finished sobbing. Auntie frowns, noticing Monika didn't look tranquil in sleep, instead looking distressed. Unfortunately, it makes sense, seeing she didn't even have enough energy left to ask her how she was doing.

How _was_ she feeling? She didn't know herself. She knew that all her emotions will come back at her in an instant, but right now, she felt numb. She is in a state of shock... she guesses. Or she's still feeling broken from--!

Auntie thinks about her happy place and scowls. ...On another note, let's _not_ think about that.

She wipes the vacant tear stains on Monika's face. Oh well, she'll comfort her niece in the meantime.

Auntie went on to gaze at the stars again. They were pretty, and she couldn't help herself. And, somehow, they help ease the pain from her legs for a while.

Suddenly she heard the door slowly open. Her eyes flickered to the doorframe and, of course, Haru's standing by the doorway. She lowers, pulling Monika closer to her.

"What do you want?" Auntie mouths, trying her hardest not disturbing the sleeping girl in her arms. Luckily for her, Monika only shifted in her sleep, muttering something incomprehensible.

The man stares at the two for a moment before sighing. "Nothing," he mouths, waving the older woman off. "Just tell Monika that I'm sorry." He then turns the lights off, throws something inside the room, and closes the door.

Auntie stares blankly at the door.  
That's what he came in here to say?  
...I'll tell her alright. I just hope he knows she won't accept it.

She quickly realizes that he had thrown something in. She lets her eyes adjust to the darkness before she searched for the item, not wanting to hurt herself more. Though, her eyes light up as soon as she found it.

A blanket, huh?

The blanket looked like an ordinary, gray, blanket. It was made up out cotton, a fabric they both haven't seen in forever. And, it wasn't too small for both of them!

Though that wasn't what Auntie first saw when she looked at it.  
No, she immediately saw that the tag was still on it.  
Haru brought this _today._

Heh, he probably knew Monika would not have accepted it if it was his own since he probably did something weird with it. Haru's more intelligent then Auntie figured him to be.

He really wants Monika to forgive him, doesn't he?

What a disoriented boy, she thought. Though she is very enraged at him from not only causing her niece torment but also tearing up her legs and destroying her's and Ryu's happy place. However, some parts of him he doesn't understand himself. He doesn't fully realize the love he feels, but neither does Monika in a sense.

Is that how they got here? By Haru's ignorance? It makes sense, even she went into a dark place when Ryu first passed. But... not feeling emotions until you meet your significant other is weird. Heh, what does she expect anyway? They're only teenagers!

...

...

She expects common sense, but it's not like it matters anyway.

She takes the blanket and wraps it around them both, enveloping them into a cozy feeling she never knew she missed. Though Auntie's embarrassed to admit it, her eyes watered from how excellent this feels. This is pure bliss, pure bliss she says! She assumed Monika liked the warmness too, seeing how she unconsciously snuggles against the cover.

Oh! This reminds her of Monika's toddler days! Ah, yes. She was so cute and small. Of course, she had an enormous baby photo album, as any right-minded adult should. Though it's at home, and she unmistakably can't get it with the condition she is in now. However, she remembers pictures just like this, they both snuggled up in a blanket, certainly by her fire. Despite Monika's responsible behavior, she often liked getting hugs. This was just one of those times.

Auntie's mother used to sing her a lullaby when Monika was like this. How was it again? She didn't think of it in a long time, so her memory was a little rusty. Though she remembered the basics, so she began to hum softly again, gazing at the dazzling night sky.

_"A dark blanket travels across the bright sky..."_

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
> Three quick things before you go!
> 
>  
> 
> 1) I'm pretty sure you all know what I mean when I mention someone's womanhood. I don't like using words like crotch, especially in this setting. 
> 
> 2) Wow look at that little bonus. Yep, that bonus was in Auntie's POV. There's a rare special chapter coming with only her POV, but it's not soon so don't get excited. Other than a few more bonuses and that special chapter, don't expect any chapters with Auntie's POV soon.
> 
> 3)If you look back to that decoding game at the end of Act I, there was seven letters you had to decode. Those words correspond to the events in this Act. I'll be happy to let you know that this chapter is the end of the first event! (The Dokumentary part will end next chapter) There's six key events that's still to come! Don't give up decoding! I'm rooting for you guys!
> 
>  
> 
> See you guys in the next chapter!
> 
>  


	25. Dokumentary #2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Video #3  
> 10/19/17  
> Description: Everything has been tiring recently. I wish I can help cheer everyone up...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's literally 10 minutes late I tried.
> 
> This chapter was so fun to write, but it sucked the life out of me. I'll go think of more future ideas now. Tootles!  
> (Oh yeah, things might come out slightly later because I'm going to be really busy these few months)

"Ah, did you hear the news?"

"No, what is it?"

"Monika got kidnapped last week! How the hell you didn't know that?"

"No, you're fucking with me. You're talking about the most popular girl in school Monika, right?"

"I swear on my life. This kind of shit doesn't pop out of nowhere!"

"Oh my god..."

Stop...

"I heard that she got kidnapped from someone in this school!"

"Really?! She's so sweet and popular! How would someone kidnap such a beauty!"

"You're exaggerating."

Stop it...

"I guess someone was jealous that they couldn't be her boyfriend."

"Wait? She has a boyfriend?"

"Oy, don't give me that look! I just heard it from somewhere."

"I thought she was gay."

"Wait, what?"

"I saw her and a girl making out in the bathroom a couple weeks ago."

"And the person who kidnapped her was jealous and kidnapped her! It all makes sense now!"

Stop it, now. It doesn't. It doesn't!

"Do you know who kidnapped her?"

"Someone named Haru Ito. I never heard of him."

"He was on the news a couple of days ago. He apparently is some serial killer who murdered a bunch of people. He even killed a grade schooler!"

"Ah! You got me scared for Monika now!"

"Hehe, who knows, she might be dead--!"

Shut--! H-Huh?

"Are you that inconsiderate to Monika's family members?" A light but strict voice chimes out. The students immediately quiet down.

"I...um... didn't think of that."

"We're sorry!"

"Aw... Now I feel bad."

The voice scoffs. "I can't believe how you all are acting! Do you know her family is suffering from inescapable fear right now?"

"R-Right, sorry Ms. Davis," a chorus sang. "We won't do it again."

Sayori stood outside the doorway, listening in to all of the rumors. The truth is, she wasn't yet ready to go in and act all happy when her girlfriend is missing. Though, she insisted that she wanted to go to school today with her friends. Partially that she avoided so many classes, she is brushing close with the possibility of summer school. And she _couldn't_  have that happen. She could go in a full on rant on how summer is for fun, beaches, and lots of ice cream, but she is exhausted from staying up four nights in a row.

Reverting to old habits, she sees. It can't be helped. She's too worried.

"Stop pulling me back Yuri! Those kids need a firm, swift, kick in the balls!"

"Stop being a nuisance Natsuki. Ms. Davis has the situation under control."

Oh yeah, Yuri and Natsuki are here too.   
She didn't know that they'll be coming with. They just kinda... followed her.  
She didn't mind though, their presence makes the mood lighter for some reason.

"Natsuki, I don't want to be in more trouble," Sayori pleas. "Can you please calm down?"

"More trouble?" Natsuki muses. Sayori sighs and pouts.

"I failed the last test again!"

"Again?! Sayori I gave you all my notes," Yuri exclaims, her grip on Natsuki loosening. Sayori laughs awkwardly.

"I tried to study, I really did! It just... every time I try I fall asleep!"

A bead of worrying sweat could be seen falling from both Yuri's and Natsuki's faces. "Of course..."

"Hey! All that matters is that I tried, right?" Yuri was about to respond when the bell interrupts their feud. Homeroom was starting. Sayori's enthusiasm plummeted.

W-Wait! She isn't ready yet! Not yet...

"Oy, don't look so down," Natsuki remarks. "We can stay here for how long you like."

"B-But," stammered Sayori. "Homeroom's starting!"

"Who cares, we are barely missing anything anyway. Right, Yu--!"

Natsuki glances at the purple haired girl and tenses. Yuri was shaking, quivering, at the very thought of skipping class. Sayori thought she almost was about to cry. "Yuri?"

"A-Ah! Y-Yes we will stay here until the end of class. Y-Yes, that's a d-deal! For my friend!"

Natsuki looks at her blankly. "Stop forcing yourself. You could always go in and ask for a bathroom pass."

Yuri's shaking stops as she weighs this in. She cheers and thanks Natsuki with a quick hug, and practically skipped inside the classroom. _Skipped_.

Natsuki's face was a red as a beet when she left, sighing and muttering silent curses. "Damn that Yuri. You think she is supposed to be the smart one in our friend group."

"Hey! Don't disregard our friend," Sayori exclaimed. "She was probably worried about damaging her attendance streak!"

"...It's that high, isn't it?"

"Worryingly so."

The both of them sigh. To Yuri, school was a hobby. She had perfect attendance for so many years that they now piled up on some sort of streak. Though, she still has some days that she was sick or... not mentally adjusted that she doesn't count. Those days are pretty low now that's Sayori's thinking about it.

Still, despite it all, Monika was she guesses the most passionate for school. She'll come _every day_ no matter what the odds. She remembers that one time when Monika showed up sick, or that other time she injured herself but still managed to stay for the rest of the day. Those times were fun, so much so. But, they don't help with the gaping hole inside her heart.

Soon enough, she spoiled her remaining self-esteem. Her smile crumbled, turning into a pair of pursed lips. She slides down the wall, sitting with her head in her knees. Head to toe, she felt awful. She felt tired, sad and... hopeless actually. This hole cannot be filled with anything, so why even try? She knows that she's too incompetent to try and 'move on' or 'hope for the best.'

She misses her too much to be okay.  
She missed her too much to laugh.  
This dried out state of tiredness and hopelessness is the most she could function.   
She's a disappointment. She's supposed to be a motivator for her friends, but she can't even motivate herself. How useless.

...

Maybe if she just... disappeared...then everything would--!

"You okay?" Natsuki suddenly questioned. Her voice conveyed that she was worried. Of course, she was! Sayori's horrible from hiding her feelings from them, what an idiot.

"I"m fine," Sayori answered hastily. She doesn't want love right now...no... she doesn't _deserve_ it now. She's being a terrible friend, to even think of being loved right now makes her a disgusting human being. No, if she can't even get into a classroom and fake being okay, then she's a scum of the earth.

"Don't start this lying shit now. You're not okay, none of us are."

"But--!" Sayori was about to argue but seeing Natsuki's stern face, she stopped herself. Averting her eyes, she hugged her knees, trying to search for words. "I..."

"I know your probably having rainclouds, and that's okay. Just don't let them cloud up your day. You're stronger than that."

Sayori sighed, closing her eyes. "You know that's really hard."

"Is there anything we can do?"

"I don't..." She didn't complete that sentence when a glance at Natsuki's slightly hurt face made guilt shoot to her heart. "I mean--! It's not your fault! You can really push these rain clouds away! Please just don't look down!"

She stopped herself, realizing she was rambling herself. What an idiot. "It's just... you can't fix something so _broken_."

Natsuki immediately grabbed her hand. "That's what I'm talking about!"

"Eh?"

"You lying about your self-worth! We both know that shit you tell yourself isn't the truth. You know that all three of us love you! So, how can we help you love yourself?"

She's lying. She's lying. She's lying. She's lying. She's lying. She's lying. She's lying. She's lying. She's lying. She's lying. She's lying. She's lying. She's lying. She's lying. She's lying. She's lying. She's lying. She's lying. She's lying. She's lying. She's lying. She's lying. She's lying. She's lying. She's lying. She's lying. She's lying. She's lying. She's lying. She's lying.

She's telling the truth.

Sayori smiled through now misty eyes, chuckling briefly. "You act like such a mother nowadays, Natsuki," she teases. Natsuki tenses, her smile lopsided.

"...Yeah."

"You okay?"

"It's nothing but this weird breeze in here," she huffs. "But we all care for each other, so I guess that's kinda normal."

Sayori hugged her knees to herself again, snuggling into them.   
"Yeah, it kinda is."

* * *

_Beautiful._

_Everything about her was beautiful. From her autumn colored hair to her sweet, genuine, smiles. Her laugh, her attitude, her jokes. Everything about her was beautiful._

_So when Sayori saw Monika again, her heart exploded with joy._

_She didn't even care that her eyes were now pure white, a husk of the soul she once was. It didn't matter if she was only an idea, a thought, her depressive mind made for her to shut her up. It didn't matter. She didn't care. Her heart felt empty without her, so to fill it up for a while was magical._

_"Heeeeeey! Monika," she yelled, waving frantically like an idiot._

_The dream Monika turned and smiled. "Hey, Sayori!"_

_Her dress was dark red, the color of the flowers around her. She remembers she said that these flowers were red spider lilies, the flowers of death. Quite ironic, isn't it?_

_The only things not dyed in red was the white spider lily in her hands, and the purple one in her hair._

_The dream Monika ran over, smiling ear to ear. "I need to show you something," she says._

_"Oh?" Sayori hummed, interested. Monika grabbed her hand and started running, Sayori trailed slightly behind. "W-Wait, Monika!"_

_"We'll be there before you know it!"_

_"That doesn't explain the fact that you are going too fast!"_

_Monika laughed, a laugh that both warmed and froze Sayori's heart. It was Monika, yes, but at the same time, it wasn't._

_~~-No! She didn't care who it is. She didn't!-~~ _

_"Oh! I have to blindfold you at this point."_

_Sayori laughed, "Who are you, David Dorbik?"_

_"Hey! I don't want to spoil the surprise just yet!"_

_"Fine," she sighed. The dream Monika got a blindfold from... somewhere... and covered Sayori's eyes. Monika then grabbed Sayori's hand and started walking (thankfully) again._

_"Where are we going?" Sayori couldn't help asking._

_"It won't be a surprise if I tell you, won't it?"_

_"I guess...but you got me so hyped up now!"_

_"Don't worry, we aren't that far. You'll love it!"_

_Monika lied. They walked for a while, enjoying each other's company, though their feet began pilling blisters over blisters. It really started to hurt too..._

_That doesn't matter because they were finally here!_

_"We're here! Oh god, you're going to love this!" There was a preppy sort of excited tone in the dream Monika's voice as she went over to untie Sayori's blindfold. She guesses that whatever it was that Monika had in store that was amazing._

_When the blindfold falls from her face, she realizes that she guessed wrong._

_It was beautiful._

_In front of her was a long river, it's currents slowly moving to its designation. Petals of red spider lilies spattered the stream like sprinkles on a cake, riding along with the spring. The group below them was filled with spider lilies too, making the ground look like a dawn-tinted paradise. Even the sky had a distinct pink color to it as the sun leisurely went down._

_"W-Wow," she said, stunned. "This is beautiful."_

_Monika clapped her hands together, a small habit she does when gathers her thoughts. Sayori noticed it fairly quickly in their relationship, but never commented on it. It was cute. "I knew you would love it!"_

_The two went to sit next to the bank of the river. They talked about trivial things, but it made Sayori happy._

_It made Sayori happy._

_It made her happy._

_Happy._

_Happy._

_..._

_..._

_..._

_..._

_She can't fake it anymore._

_This Monika was different. She knew the very second she looked at her that she wasn't the real her. That this was all just some dream. But, she wanted to feel whole again._

_But, she couldn't make her feel whole. She couldn't make her okay._   
_Everything is hopeless._

_She'll never see Monika again._   
_She'll never be okay again._   
_She doesn't deserve to be friends with people so hopeful as Natsuki and Yuri when she couldn't even be hopeful herself._   
_Her dream will never come true, the four of them could never be happy._

_..._

_~~Maybe, if she just disappeared, then everything would be okay!~~ _   
_~~Without her fucking things up, everyone else would be better off.~~ _   
_~~Natsuki and Yuri wouldn't have someone loafing off their backs, and Monika wouldn't have such an incompetent person to take care of!~~ _   
_~~She would be happy since she's making other people happy by ridding herself!~~ _

_~~Yes! All she has to do is to **jump off the school's rooftop! Or just chug down her own anti-depressants! Maybe she should get a gun and shoot herself. Or maybe just get one of the ropes from the garage and hang herself with it! She didn't care how she ended herself, she just wanted to die. Please, someone, finish her! She doesn't deserve life anymore! Please! PLEASE!**~~ _

_With each depressive thought, the sun went lower and lower until it eventually disappeared from sight. Sayori, her enthusiasm ripped from her again, stared at the vacant flowers silently. Monika wordlessly gets up from her side. They stay like that before she starts to walk away from sight, leaving Sayori alone._

_Alone... Sayori never liked being alone. Even when the thoughts of killing herself to leave Natsuki and Yuri alone fester in her mind, she craves for them. She begs for the real Monika._

_An urge overwhelms her as runs to grab the dream Monika's hand, stopping her in her tracks._

_" **Why did you come here?! Why did you torment me like this?** " She yells a bit louder then she intended, wincing at her own voice. Quieter, she continued. "You know how much I miss her, how much I love her, so why show up and make me more miserable? Do you want to torture me, just like the rest of my thoughts?"_

_..._

_..._

_The dream Monika didn't answer, facing away from her. In the faint blue glow of the night sky, Sayori could see her hesitation from moving._

_"Please, answer me," she begs. "Why did you come here? Why isn't my heart exploding like it's supposed to? Why am I not happy? Is there something wrong with me? Am I so hopeless for this girl, that I created you for some type of bliss?"_

_..._

_..._

_Sayori's hands loosen as her eyes began to sting. She blinked off the tears with no avail. "I'm really hopeless for her, am I? I fell in love with the girl of my dreams... But, now she's gone, and I haven't had such an overload of worry and sorrow for years. I'm so desperate for her to be here, to smile and laugh with her, to talk with her, to... touch her." Sayori said this so quietly, anyone could hear a single pin drop._

_..._

_..._

  
_Sayori finally lets go of the dream Monika's hand, allowing them to wipe the tears off her face._

_"Why am I like this..!"_

_Giving up, she cries into her hands. For the first time, she allows herself to sob out these intense emotions from the kidnapping. Monika seemed to be frozen in front of her, not moving or anything!_

_..._

_"Would Monika like to hear that?"_

_Sayori lowers her hands from my face, unsure if she heard something. "Huh?"_

  
_"I said, would Monika like to hear that?" Her face was stern as she turns to her. Her voice was serious. The smile from earlier was wiped off her face completely. She looked completely different._

_"N-No," Sayori murmured, covering her face in shame. Even now, she disappoints Monika, the very one she loves._

_The dream Monika's face softens. "I came here to cheer you up a little. To make you happy for milliseconds at a time. Though, it seems I've done more harm than good. I'm sorry."_

_Sayori doesn't answer for a long time, sniffing to compose herself somewhat. "I-It's fine," she says after a couple of minutes. "You did really make me happy sometimes."_

_A small smile appears on Monika's face. "I could never make you remotely as happy as the real Monika could, but I want to stop from feeling as bad. You do realize that you were going to a really depressive place, don't you?"_

_Sayori thought about what she said about wanting to disappear. She wasn't thinking straight. She wants to continue to live with her friends and her girlfriend. She wants to live long enough to graduate and have a job. She even wants to live long enough to... get married and have children with Monika. She wants to live long enough to see the world for what it's really is, and not from her black and white depressive lenses._

_But.. these last few days were hard. Very hard. They made her wonder if life really is black and white. If she keeps going further, she wonders if she would probably just--!_

_"Yes," she says, cutting off her own thoughts. "The others try, they really do, but I have felt really down recently. I can't control my thoughts, my worries, my sadness. I feel like I'm going to do something very stupid."_

_Monika seemed to catch on to Sayori's hint and sighed. "Please don't do something that drastic, Sayori. You know that everyone will--!"_

_"I know, I know," Sayori cuts off, already knowing the entire speech. Every part of her knows that people will be sad if she'd die. Though, believing those words is the issue._

_"Try to forget about the stress for a bit. It'll make your mood happier overall."_

_Sayori looked at the dream Monika in stunned silence. Somehow, she offended a part of her Sayori didn't even know she had, and the urge to defend herself quickly was hard to swallow. Though she did and replied with a measly, "I can't."_

_Monika gave a confident smile, pumping her fist a little "Sure you can!"_

_"No, I can't. Every minute my mind fills with self-depressive thoughts. I can't help it, especially with Monika gone! I can't help but blame myself for her disappearance. What if she's dead because of me? I'm just an incompetent girlfriend--!"_

_Sayori gets interrupted by Monika rushing in and kissing her. Her mind blanks._

_Her arms stay by her sides. She doesn't know how to think of this._

_Monika parted before long, still smiling. "Did that distract you?" she laughed. Sayori nods, still slightly dazed._

_The dream Monika puts the white spider lily she was somehow still holding in Sayori's hair before pecking her cheek. "Stay safe, dear," she whispers. "Be waiting for her when she gets back."_

_She then ran off until she eventually disappeared. Sayori didn't stop her this time, only staring at the horizon where she had been._

_..._

  
_..._

  
_..._

_She laughed loudly, startling herself. Did Monika just--?! Did she just...!?_   
_ Did Sayori just kissed herself?! _

_She laughed uncontrollably, falling into the field of red spider lilies. It was stupid, but she was hysterical. Oh my god, she really did! Does this count as cheating? Pfft, every relationship needs some self-love in it to grow!_

_She panted, trying to get air into her lungs from her laughing fit. Tears rolled down her face by laughing too hard. Sighing happily she gazed at the night sky as it speckles with white dots as stars. She raised one arm to try and touch them._

_"Monika... you wouldn't believe me. You wouldn't."_

_She felt her heart-shaped earring. It was one of the last things she enjoyed with Monika. Though they're small and very unnoticeable, she felt like Monika was right there, laying in this field of red flowers with her. No, she felt that everyone was here! Natsuki, Yuri, and Monika!_

_Her dream was for all four of them being happy together, and she is **not** letting that slip through her fingers. Monika being kidnapped doesn't change anything! Thank you dream Monika for the motivation! Thank you, everyone, for just being there! She **will** try, and she **will** succeed! Just watch her!_

_She beamed for the first time since Monika became missing as she raised both of her hands towards the sky, reaching for her stars, reaching for her dreams._

_"Just watch me."_

* * *

Sayori woke up on Yuri's shoulder feeling much better than earlier. She sat up and rubbed her eyes groggily, wanting to sleep more.

"Good morning Sayori," Yuri whispered. She noticed that Yuri had one of her large books on her lap, flipped to a page near the end of the book. She started reading this one three days ago.

"Morning Yuri," She yawned, trying to get the fuzziness out of her eyes. Truth be told, she was still tired, but she'll survive waking up now.

She looked around for her small tsundere friend and saw her missing. She glanced at Yuri, who continued to read her book, and asked her where she went.

"In the bathroom," she said absentmindedly. Sayori's smile dropped.

"I thought she was doing better..."

Yuri realized what she had said and jumped, waving her hands. "Oh no! She isn't sick! She is just... going to the bathroom."

"Oh! I was so worried for a second!" She still was. Natsuki was still showing signs of early pregnancy, and she was worried sick. That, piled with all the other stresses of the month, made her the mess that she was these past few days.

She instinctively reached for her earring, a charm that contained all of their happiness, and reminded herself to take it easy. In a few moments, she calmed down. She smiled, glancing at the purple haired girl.

"So..."

The purple haired girl looked up, saw the look on Sayori's face, and immediately closes her book.

"No."

Sayori slides next to the purple haired girl. "Why not?" She says smirking, feigning confusion. "I'm only curious..."

Yuri backs away, covering her giggles with her palms. "No, Sayori. We are at school."

"I," she crawls closer. "Just want. To read. Your book!"

She then unexpectedly slides to Yuri's right, digs into Yuri's pocket, and grabs a piece of candy. She beams, hastily unwrapping it.

"How did you even knew which pocket it was in?

"I dunno," Sayori admitted. "I guessed this time."

It was an old game Sayori and Yuri play. Yuri isn't a big fan of candy (except for chocolate) in general, so she just puts them in her pockets and hopes Sayori would steal them later. Sayori loves candy, so it's a win-win.

There was a long but comfortable pause when Sayori enjoyed the candy in sweet joy while Yuri got herself together. Yuri was the one to cut it.

"I really hoped that you'd steal candy from me today. I thought, for sure, that it'll make you happy."

"It does!" She immediately squealed. By the way, Sayori loves candy. "Thank you, Yuri!"

Yuri sighs happily, putting her book close to her chest. There was another moment of silence, but this time, it was brief.

"I'm happy that you've brightened. I guess sleep really does the trick."

"Yep!" Sayori smiled. "Dreams are the key to self-love. I even kissed myself in one!"

The taller girl couldn't hold it in anymore as she started laughing in that weird but soothing way Yuri laughs. She's giggling, but at the same time, you can barely hear her, and it makes you question everything.

"S-Sayori... what?!" She exclaimed, her eyes sparkling, before laughing again.

Sayori started to laugh with her. "I-I don't know myself! It just kinda happened!"

The two laughed, letting their troubles get swept up by the wind.

Needless to say, Natsuki was _very_ confused when she got back.

* * *

 

**Bonus!**

 

Ah, finally lunch time! A time where Sayori could finally relax and let down her excessive happy mask for a while. And, she could finally eat Natsuki's cooking! Ah, lunch is her favorite time of day!

She grabs her bag and heads to the cafeteria to be with her friends, only to be stopped by a group of kids.

"Hey, may we stop you for a second?"

"Oh, uh, sure!"

They are probably just looking for her to sign a random petition, she thought. Or interest her in some club. Nothing too drastic to stop her eating her lunch!

"Are you Monika's girlfriend?"

She stops in her tracks. Maybe it's _a little_ drastic.

She felt her face crimson as she studdered an answer. "U-Uh, w-well..."

"Ugh," another student exclaims. "I told you she's not her girlfriend! I'm pretty sure she isn't even gay!"

"No," insists the other. "Listen to me here! I'm pretty sure I saw them both making out in the bathroom!"

"Wait," Sayori blurted out without thinking. "You saw that?!"

"Wait, what?"

As Sayori's face crimsons more, some say that she looked like a pink highlighter. "I mean--! Uhm... ehehe..."

"Wait, wait, wait. Hold up. Are you saying that you _are_ Monika's girlfriend?"

Sayori purses her lips, unable to respond. They are only three months in their relationship, should they tell the world? Monika's not here right now, damn it. She'll know what to do! But the only one here is Sayori. Stupid, stupid, Sayori.

No Sayori! Don't think like that! Monika would say that she is doing a great job if she was here. Sayori knows her more than anyone, so what would she say in this situation!

You know what, to hell with it! She is going to tell them! She already spoiled the surprise partially already! It's what Monika would want, isn't it?!

...

Probably not, but she's too empowered to care! Lesbians, unite!

"Yes."

"Hm," the student who first asked her hums. "What is it?"

"Yes, I am Monika's girlfriend," She proudly states. "Also, Monika's pansexual, not gay."

The group of students looked at her in shock. "E-EH?!"

She smiled bravely, facing the students without a trace of doubt in her face. The students whispered amongst each other before yelling in the halls that, quote on quote, "Monika's girlfriend is here!" All of a sudden, more students start to crowd against her and ask her questions.

"How long till you start dating!?"

"How many months are you in your relationship? Days? Years? **DECADES**?!"

"Did she take your virginity yet?"

"What kind of sex toys does she use!!?"

"U-Uhm," Sayori tenses, her brave smile disappearing from her face. "We waited almost a year before we started dating. We started dating in June. U-Uhm, what kind of question is that?! Please, stop for a second! E-E-Eh?! I-I'm pretty s-sure that she doesn't use t-toys...or ever had s-s-sex in that m-manner."

Though she tried to answer every question, she'll just get bombarded with eleven more. She decided that this has gotten way out of control and decided to call her friends, but she couldn't get her phone from the number of people squeezing her! She whines, trying to get out of this mess politely.

A single tear rolls down Sayori's face. _I-Is this what it's like to be famous? Monika, I wish I had the amount of sanity you have! You poor, poor girl!_

In the end, the teachers had to disperse the mess, but lunch was already over.

She'll never get to eat Natsuki's packed lunch that day.


	26. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> October/November, 2018  
> -
> 
> Normalcy is a rare thing here.  
> Though, it can be achieved.

In short, I hate this place.

I hate being here _so_ much.

It was easy to hate being here. I hated it the very second I been here. As the days go by, my hatred for this place grew ever so slightly. And every time the sun rises from our window, the more I lose my patience. I never wanted to go on a run this bad.

There's not much you can do here, and sometimes my mind wanders to places. Sweet places. I daydream of sunny Flordia skies and blankets of white called clouds. Underneath them, sparkling oceans that Auntie and I went to when we were younger. I imagine taking the girls there.

Even now, I already know how the girls will react. Sayori will be super excited. She always talked about how she would love to have a vacation with the four of us next year. We really didn't do anything this year since Sayori had summer school, so she was pretty bummed. From that month forward, she'll make it her duty to plan a vacation together, though the summer was already close to ending.

Natsuki, unlike Sayori, doesn't like summer at all. The harsh sunbeams and overwhelming heat are too much for her. Last summer, she'll usually stay in her room with a small fan reading manga. Sayori and I tried to coax her into playing outside, but she barely obliged.

Yuri likes the summertime, surprisingly. I'm pretty sure that if we persuade her enough, she'll come to play with us. Though she used to wear long sleeves in public, she was starting to get used to wearing short sleeves at home. I was so happy for her!

But... it's the middle of autumn, and we're still in this basement.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that I'm still here. Sometimes my daydreams are too real, and I need to snap back to reality. It hurts, it _always_ did, but I have to.

I _needed_ to or I would lose my sanity quickly.

I sigh, pulling my knees to my chest. I really, _really_ , hate this fucking place.  
I really hate being homesick.

I can't sway in my sadness for long. That'll make my whole day worse! I mean, at least Auntie's here--!

"AUNTIE! What are you doing?!"

Auntie stares at me, confused. "...Standing up?"

I eyed her, frowning. "Your legs," I deadpanned.

Auntie stares at me, looks down at her beaten legs, and back at me again. "They're fine Mons. They are literally just red marks now."

"But are you _sure_?"

" _They're fine, Monika_ ," she says again, annoyed. Then, completely counteracting herself, she trips. I stare at her blankly.

It has been fourteen days (or a fortnight as Auntie says) since we had been kidnapped. Ten days since Auntie's punishment. Her lashes closed up after two days, and they stopped swelling after five. All that mattered was that it didn't get infected, which was honestly a miracle since Haru didn't supply us with anything.

My shoulder blade was another story. Though it also didn't get infected, it took longer to heal. It closed up for now, but it still hurts when putting extended pressure on it. It reminds me of how my stitches used to feel like.

"Hey, don't look at me like that," she exclaims, picking herself up. "It has been a long time since I walked, leave me alone."

"Sure," I say, a bit skeptical. "I'll save you embarrassment from not watching."

Auntie sighs and shrugs, trying again to walk again. She succeeds to not fall on her face, slowly moving away from the wall.

"Aha! I _can_ walk! And it doesn't even hurt that much!"

I raise an eyebrow. "That much?"

"Nothing!"

I laugh as Auntie began to make huge, exaggerated, strides. Honestly, this whole thing was hilarious. Every day for the past eleven days Auntie has been whining about not being able to walk. Now she does this?!  
Very productive to waste of your time if you ask me.

Suddenly she runs over and pulls me away from the wall I was sitting next to.

"Woah, Auntie! What are you doing?!!"

A sly grin appears on Auntie's face as she continues to drag me along. "You know what we're doing!"

"You're going to rip my cut," I whine.

Auntie stops for a moment, turning. The huge smile is still apparent on her face. "But _is it_ open?"

"...No?"

"Then don't worry about it! You've got to live a little!" She proceeds to twirl me around, laughing with that _evil_ laugh of hers. Eventually, I laugh too, trying to distract myself from the fact that I might get sick if I get spun for much longer.

We continued to dance for what seemed like forever. We spun, bopped, and busted moves so stupidly they're embarrassingly hilarious. Auntie was happy as hell, the way her face lights up reminds me of a child. She's pretty excited to be able to walk again, and I'm happy for her. She doesn't have unpleasant thoughts weighing her down, at least.

Though, this moment feels very similar. Almost little like deja vu...

Ｈｅｒ ｒｅａｌ ｌａｕｇｈ ｗａｓ ｉｎｆｅｃｔｉｏｕｓ ｔｏ ａｎｙｏｎｅ ｗｈｏ ｈｅａｒｄ ｉｔ， ｔｈｏｕｇｈ， ｉｎ ｍｙ ｍｅｍｏｒｙ， Ｉ ｈｅａｒｄ ｉｔ ｏｎｌｙ ｆｉｖｅ ｔｉｍｅｓ． Ｔｈｅｓｅ ｗｅｒｅ ｏｎｅ ｏｆ ｔｈｅ ｔｉｍｅｓ．

₵ⱧⱤɎ₴₳₦₮ⱧɆ₥Ʉ₥ ｗａｓ ｄａｎｃｉｎｇ， ｓｐｉｎｎｉｎｇ ｉｎ ｔｈｅ ｖａｓｔ ｂａｌｌｒｏｏｍ ｗｈｅｒｅ Ｍｏｔｈｅｒ ｕｓｅｄ ｔｏ ｈｏｌｄ ｆａｍｉｌｙ ｇａｔｈｅｒｉｎｇｓ． Ｔｈｉｓ ｏｎｅ ｗａｓ ｔｈｅ ｓｉｘｔｈ． ~~T̷̤̯͎̹̠͓͎̘̍̃͝h̵̢͈͍̪̖͎͔̖͚̆̾̍̓̓̄̂͆̿̄̆̊͝e̷̜̙̰͗̈̒̊̂̄͐̄̾̽͝ ̸̪̤̦͉̞͖̒̄͛̅̚͠ś̴͔͇͔̱͓͔͗ͅi̸̧̡̛̗̙̲͍̪̼̪̔̿̑̿̒̀͠ͅͅx̸̨̡̣̺͔̙͎̼͚͖̞̜̊̅̈́ţ̸̡̱̺̱͈̳̞̳̐̑̏͗͑̄̄̍̇̂̅͝͠h̴̼̭͔͓̥͔͖̻̠̣͎̥͂́̔̐͂̈́́͠ͅ ̴͕̟̮̬̙̬͖̟̱̦̬̤̘̝͛͒̿̃p̵͕͓̮̘̘͕̭̲̳̮͚̋̈̿̈́͗͌́a̸̹̪͈̲̤̥̳̳͉͙̹̝͍̳͔͐̕ŕ̵̢̫̫̤̱͖͕̣͖͚̦̻̼̤̿͂̇͠͝t̸̤̤͙̼̬̬̹̲̫͕͕̱͊̀̉̂͛̑̉̒̓̈́͘͜͝ŷ̸̧͍̭̞̦̘̼̎̈́̽͂͐̀̅́̇̃̂ ̷̛̯͖͋͐̐͊͑̒̂̅̋̈́̍̄̇̍w̶̨̫̥͎͉͕͖̙̻̓̓̆̈́͊̚̚͜͝ͅä̶̤̖́́́́̍͌͆̈́s̴̼̫̘͇̅̊͋̈͝͝͝͠ ̵̡̨̖̜̘̭̂̓́̈́̓̌̄͘h̵̛̞̣͇̮̘̠͇̯̪̪͓͌̀̄͒͑̀̓́̒͘̕͜ȩ̵͎̘͖̣̯̜̲̺͇̈́̔̏̉̑̍̌̓́͂̕͜͠r̶̡̢̨̨̨̧̲̝̲̭͕̫̈́̀ ̶̧̫̟͈̫̬̙̪̀͆͗̇̈́̂̌̒͛͝͝ͅl̷̛̛̤̹̞͉̰͇̣̠̹̱̘̤͔͑̇͗̆͌̋̍̋̓̎͘͝ͅą̷̨̻͍̞̼̗̩̱̞̲͓͒͜͠ͅͅs̴̖̥̗͕̩̋̉̅t̴͓͓̼̬͍̖̺͆͜ ̸͎̤̱̞͍̯͕̩̭͑̀̇̆̂̈̓̄̂͌͐̈́͒̐͌o̵̡̟̰̻͙̞̗̣̺̬̮̥̖̅̒͆́̌̈́̈́̂̅̋̓͛̄̕͠ǹ̴̡̡͍͍̪͖̭̬̫͓̄̈́̃̇̑͛̑́͊̑̎̂͐̈́e̸̡̢̛̤̩̝̗͓̳̺̰͂̃̓̏̍̉̽̒̚̚ͅ.̴̢͍̣̥̲͎͇̳̭̦͍̳̄̾̽̏̑̐̈́̚̕ͅ~~  
~~̶̨͇̎̀͗͌̎̀͐̂͘͠͝~~  
~~**0̴̢̢̡̟̳̭̙̖̠͇̟͙̒̎̀̀1̸̡̥̪̣̩̯̟̟̘͙̱̻͋̏͆̈́̏͆̐͌̆̕͜͜0̵͍̦̆͑͐̓͆͘͝1̸̡̛̤̝͖̭͖̼͇̬̮̟̮̱͚̎̈́͆̈́̓͂͒͑̉̄͝0̴̟͇̯̊͛̈́͌̓̄͌̃͒̋̀̀͊͝0̴̥̝̫̯̱̲̭͍̱̱̜͇͒͆̉͐͑̃̔͝ͅ1̸̢̢͉̙̠͇̻̹̠̩͕̰̈̍̈̓̉̒̒̆͋͝1̸̛͙̖̘̯̯͓͊͛̈́̃̓̒̄́̕͝͠ͅ ̵̧̬̯̉͂0̴̨̤̱͍̻͚͖͈̯̘̩̔̿̌́̈͛͝1̴̖͂͆̒͊̑̐̇̈́͝1̶̛̟̟̊̈͗͂̈̅͑̃̌̕̚0̶̘͇̯͖͎͚̠̝̟̙̜̜̮̟̀̓̀̋͝1̸̣̘́͝0̶̦̜͔͍̟̰̰̟̱̆̿͒̉ͅ0̴̧̟̣̜̺̖̮̙̯͔͖̯̳̭̮̍̔̈0̸̧̨͇͇̻̻̣̪̳̥̦͓̎̿͑̈́̏͑͗̑̊ ̸̧͖̪̞͔̭̪͙̲̗̈̅̉̎̓̓̅͌͗0̵̡̥̪͚̙̬̗̥͙̟̥͔͎̩̋̓̓̈̒̈̿͑̚1̸̫̓̀͗̋́̐͑̚͘1̸̨̧͇̰̻͑̌̐̀̈́̏̓͊̊̋̅̈́͝͠0̶̨̛̦̹̬̲̼̼̖̖͙̻̹͉̍̐̔̽̐͛̃́̈́̾ͅ0̶̝̳͎̣̹͕̱̱́́̚1̴̜͉̹̫̺̩̩͚̃͌̔̎̚͠ͅ0̴̨̧̛̛͎̭͔̪̤̪̻̝̱̗̜̈́̓̌̆̎̃̈́̀̕1̴̢̛̗̹͍͎̯̱̟͉̠̠̗͙͖̒̑̔̿̀̌̃́̔̄̋̈́͘͠ ̵̪̖̣̯̦͉̰͇̦̲̖͖͌̐0̸̛̜̂̇̈̈́͂͂͊̓̂̔0̵̡̛̩̳̥̂̑̒̃́̀̇̏́́̂͑̕͝1̴̡̤̪͕̰̞͇̮̤͕̊̈́̂̅͊͘͝͝0̸͕̑̉͆̓̿̒̍́͝0̸̤͖̣̝̜̭̬̬̺̔̇̈́̿̂̌͊̋̈́͐͌̐0̸͉͖̝̥̦̖̿̆̾̆̇͝ͅ0̵̨̛̞̘̮̤͍͕͖͔̤̲͙̌̇̈́̎̾͋̌͠0̴̧̡̫̗̬͉̱͇̲͉̞̖̲̘̂̑͌͆̈́́͐͊͑̏͝͝ ̶̛̬̱̟̭̻͋͑́̚͜͜0̴̡̧̦̬̠̟̬͈̕1̵̣̗͖̩̝͔̫͔̉́̿̈͆̅̕1̴̣̼̫͙̤̺̼̈́̀̆̀̇͋̕̚͝͠͝0̴̨̳̣͚̫̩͒̏͋̃͌̐1̴̳̭̺͙̭̯̘͗̃0̴̤̫̻̗̏͜͝ͅ1̶̡̧̡̙̟̥͇͉͚̫̳̮̈́͌̏1̵̡̢̟̼̰͍̞̣͙̩͉̭̆̿̓̋̅̀̀̇̾͛̈́̔ ̷̘͈̽́̈̆̀̌́0̴̡̨̡͓̮̯̦̖̫̣͉̜̾̔͋͘͝1̸̦̩̜̣̺̩͈̲͎͔̀̈́̐̂1̵͕͍̰͈͑̃͌́̽͊̀̍͂͂̐̕0̵̱̓̓̊1̵̢̨̫̣̼̯̜̩̱͌̈́̀̾̅͛̀̕0̷̧̫̤͎̭͆͊͛̑0̴̢͇̰̥͕͙̗̘̣̳̺̇̇͒̈́̅̅͆͘1̸̻̞͓̥̅̍̾͒̇̉͌̎̀̂ ̶͎̌̃͊͗̃͐͊̋̏͌͊͘͝0̴̛̛̱̳̰̫̻͙̙͕̺͖̳̻͊͌̓̊̑͌̽́́͒͗̕̚1̶̢̨̨̨̹͙͖̥̳̻͒͗̓̆̎͂͌͘͜ͅ1̵̘͈̗͇̬̪̯̗͎͆̈́͊̀͑̃͝ͅ0̴̛͕̱̰͍̃̅͒̀̒̉͛̀̒̈́́͑͌͜͠1̵̢̡̢̞̝͙̯͓̦͖̺͓͇̥͔͑̏̐̐͒̔̌͑̀͑̇͑̕̚͝1̵̟͙͚̰̀͌0̵̢̖̥͈͙̬͉͕̯̙̒̊̑͜0̸̧͈̝̼̀͐͂̍͘͘͘ ̷̢̰̙̦̱͉̺̣͙͑0̵̢͎̗͚̣͖̓̇̂͋̿̍̋͆1̷̧̻͈̫͕͙̰̝͓̪̞̓͋̓͂͊̔͛̒͠͝1̵̧̳̹͓̳̙͉͈̤̫́̊̈́͊̿͜͜0̵̤̞͉͎̱͙̙̫̬͉̥̙͎̊̉̐̔̎̄͗̄̇̕͝1̶̦͓̯̲̬́̅̕1̵̨͕͔̲̭̟̜̘͇̳̫̉̀̀̀̌0̵̛̺̤̦̟̣͗̔̿̍́͝0̴̝͔̗̒̿̋̆͗̾̄̓͆̕͜ ̷̤̪̭͖͔͖͚̳̱͇̫̺͙͖̿͋́̂̆͊̍͛̍͝0̵͎̜̯͗͋̒̊̏̈́͌̌͂̽̐͐1̷̧̨̼̤͔͈̻͇͔̗̦̣̭͔͉̿̏̀͑́́͆̂͒́͠1̶̫̅̏͌̊́̍͒͝0̷͖̜̥͖̉͗̀͋̏̋͠ͅ0̶̱̒̃̅̿̓̂͗͝1̵̼̘̌̽̎̋̐͋̿̊0̵̖̥͙̹̦̜̦̅̑͆̎1̵̙͂́̇̎́̽͠ ̸̪͛̈́̇̏̎͑͒͊͐̿̃̊͘̕͠0̶̨̨͓̘̘̩͈͇͔͙̳̩̪̹͋̅͑̀̅̉͌̊̃̍͘̚͝1̷̨͔̬͚̟̦̟͍̖̞̜̔́̈͝1̷̧̹̗̙̟͉̫̫̻̤̎͒͗̑͑̆̍̄̀͊͘͜0̶̢̖̯̯̗͇̩͉̺̝̭̫̎͂͊̋̈̂0̷̧̛̛̞̝͈̩̫̔̑̈́̀̍̀͛̔̿̐̕1̷̧̡̨̺͕̫̬̝̬̟͓̜͙̄̆̓̀̕0̶̨̨͇͕̪͍͍͈̪͔̹̯̰͈͒̔͋̒̅̇͝0̸͔̮̱̣͙̝̤͙͔̙͕̲̘̑͐̇̊̇͘ͅ ̴͎̞̓̈̅͗̎0̵̢̧͔̬̈́̎͊̄̈̀͛͒̓̊͠0̷̘̹͖͖̲͖̳̙̹̻̼̟͖̃̍͛̃̐̔̃̓͘̕͠1̵̡̤͚̬͕̹͙͓͍̮̱̼̉͊̒̈́̀̑̃͝͝0̴̡̛̖̭̻̻͎͈̼̗͖͛̏͗͜ͅ0̵̭̮̏̑͗͐̈́0̸̰̦̰̻̘͕̺̱͈̹͍̗͕̼̗̇̆̏͂̄0̶̱̞̼́̈́0̸͓̫̭͚̻̗͔͉͉̟̟͈̯̃͂̊̋̈̆̌͂̒͂̍̕ ̶̞͙̜̱̙̦̙͓͉͖̏͐̍̈͊͛̃͊̍͒̂̕̕̕͜ͅ0̵̼̯͕͖̝̰͓̖̖̠̥̩̲̱̠̑̓͒̿1̵̧̨͎̖̦̯́͊́̎̅̊̉͋̈͗͑̎̈́̑͂1̴͔͓͙̦̙͔͎͕̪͎̩͖͂̑͋̔̀̚͝͝ͅ0̵͕̣̫̓̆͋̈́̂̈̔́̄̈͒͗̿̚͘1̵̜̽̒̾̓̀̓̃̈̈̄̂̽͝͠0̸̡̫̖̻͔̑̎͂͛̓̋̎͑̓̏̈́̎͒̌͆0̶̬̠̏̑̂͋̒͌̕͘͠͝0̶̮̭̻͈̖̯̥̯̼̝͂̔̚̚͠ ̷̬̜̜̲͕̳̼̞͙̜̤̯̖͂̋͜͜0̵̧̫̋̄̃͒1̶̨̢̪̖̀̉͐͊̇̾̈́̀͒̈͘͝1̸̡̣͔͙̤̗͈̳̪̥̣͍̈̈́̍ͅ0̴̨̼͇̥͎̦̳̩͈̩͓̮̪̤̎0̷̮̉̒̃̃̑͘1̷̡̛̜̺̣̙̭͙̦͎̹͕͙̲̽͂̽̂̇̔̏̍̓̍̔́͜͝0̵̛͔̯1̴͕̮̥̥̮̏ ̶̲̱̪̳̣͔͈͇͙̙͖̐̋̂͋̽̽̈̿̋̚0̸̧̩͊͒̓1̷̲͙̉͋̒͑̋̊1̵̡͙̬̹̙̖̰̺͖̳͎̻̠̙̇̀̽̄̊̅̀̒̄̋̀͘ͅ1̴̘͇͆0̵̢͔̻͍̺̫̻̞̌́̅̿͜͜0̶̡̹̉̎͆̈̋́͐̓1̸̛̬̞̖͓̽̈́̎̅͋͑̈̂̈́͑͋͝0̴̡̙̯̙͉̥̼̽̌̾̉͒͂̚͠ ̵̛͖̘̿̈̎́̈̚͠͝0̶͎͚̟̟̖͌͐̃1̵̝̇̅̄1̵̼͇̋̃́̅̈́̈̓͘1̴̢̨̥̻̥̺̞̞̲͕͕͕̟̞͇͌͋̅̓̆͆̍̕0̸̢̨̮̳͈̝͇̳̮̐̈́̇̈́̌ͅ0̸̧̭͉̺̭̰̙̽̈͗͗͜͝1̶̞̣̮̫͈͇͔̗͎͙̅́̊1̴̬̰̈́ ̴̢̢͙̟̫̩̦̖͉̪͕̫͐̀̏̉̔̀̎̍̎̅͜͝0̸̢̧̤̤̞̩͉̹̹͓͚͔̺̌̏ͅͅ1̴̲̠̞̦̮̻̹̯͊̂̀̆̈̈́̀͘͝1̸̧̛̖̖̬̘̫̗͙̼̦̝͖̞̼̈́̈̚͜0̶̛̹͖̩̜͖͙̪̠͓̙̌͋̒̏̔̄̆̏̀́͝0̴̭̜̦̰̀̍͑̎̋͑̽͑̋͐͆͠1̴̯̥̃́̍̽̕0̷̧̧̨̰͍̪͓̺̦̗͉͚̀̏̔́͆͐͆̎̈́̐͜͜1̴̫͚͍̜͍̫͇̐̊̀͗͋͛̚ ̸̯̠̐̂͌́̍̓͒̂̌̀͠͠0̷̨̡̗̪͓̗̞̥̮͓̣̫͎͗̅̈́ͅ1̸̢̨͕̞̫̹̱͖̪͊͛̌̌̏̔͂̚1̵̡̗̪̙̖͉͈͈͓̗̱̭̳̻̂̊́̆̐̐̈́̓̎̈́͝ͅ0̴̨̯͚̣͎͎̰͉̹̳̩̪̠͖̎̑͜1̷͍͕̤̗͙̮̫͔̣̊́̂̒̽͛̉͝1̶̜͕͊̾̏͜0̷̡̹̗̯͙̞̭͍̩͔̺̭̒̂͒̒̽̕ͅ0̵̻͉͔́́͌̈͂͛̄̐̀͛̕͘̕͜ ̵̡͕̻̺͉̹̲͕̯͕̻̥̭͉̖̾́͂̂̅̓͌̓͛͒̊͊̂̇̕0̸̡̠̼͇̾͊̉́͝1̵̢̧̧̧̛̠̣̝͕̩̫̭̉͊͐̏̽̇͐̃̊1̶̳̜̟̼̀̇͂̐̿̾̑́̔̅̐̚0̴̡̬̗̤͓̐̇̽́̐̇̾͆̊̀̈͝0̴̭͓̙̝̝̭̠͑̀1̸̧̜̖̰̳͔͂̊͆̏̐̓̚͜1̶̖̥̮̳̺̰̰̰̺͉͇̭̇̐̍͆̿̒͂̂̐̚͜͠0̸͙̰̝͈͊̔͆̍̔͛ ̸̢̛̬͉̞̼͙͉̪̦͈̃̒͂̈́͂̂̄̿̐͌͠͝ͅ0̵̜̦̹̦̻̺͎̈́̐͋0̵̢͕̳̞̯͇͕̝͓̤̟̗̑͑̏́̽͑̊̾͋̇͝͠1̶̢̮̗͚̹͔̦̤̼͖͕̎̋͆̈́͝0̵̛̳̞̦͍̤͓̖͐̂͑͊͆͐̄̅̃͛̐͛͋͠0̷͇̜̫̑̂̇̌̍̃́͌̇͂0̵̡̡̩̦̲̺͔͚̰̮̜̩̹̥̘̓̆0̸̜̦̯̜̦͈̝̙̟̒̌̕0̴͕̤̄̐̐̄ ̴̢̰͔̮̙̖̠̹̗̄̐̄͛̊̂͗̐̑̋̌̀͠͝ͅ0̶̤̬͙̥̫̳̩̐̌̿̒͋͜1̸̛̼̥̫̲̮̦̺͓̺̠͕̲̺̼̏͂̌́͒̅̔1̷̻̜̫̻̝̰̤̥̗̬͌̂̀̉̎̀̇̕0̷̡̧̘͖͖̳̲̟͇͈̞̫̈͌̽̑̇͊̾̍̃͛̚̕͘0̴̳͈̦̯̤̋͌̅̃̓̋̍͗͜͝͝0̸̩̫̪̿͋͌͑̔̑͘͝0̴̭̮̲͍͙͊̈́̊̊̊͝1̴̻̿̇̌̄̇͊̇͂̂̾̒̚̕͝͝ ̸̣̇̌̃̿͋̑0̵̝͚̲͂̀̅̿̀̕0̷̹͙͎̱̓́̒́͜͜͝ͅ1̷̨̪͎̯̣͇͒̌̊0̵̰̟̋̋̑͐͆̾̈́̌͗̈̾̃́͠0̴̨̟̻̫͖͎̇́̈́̕͜0̸̹͎̥̠̖̹̹͍̦̙͓̱̱̖̠̓̾̓0̶̧̜̯̗͍̬̀̏̋̒͛̈́̔́0̸̛̟̲̯͇͚̩͋̽̒̓͊̓́̓̌̀̚͜͝ ̴͙̦̑͂̍̉0̴̡̡̲͖̝̱̦͎̻̠̫͉̖͎̇͜1̶̟͒͐͒͂͗̕͝1̸͉̦̺͕̣̪̿̽́̂̓͛̇̌̀̇͆͗̃͆̊0̵̢̢͙̞̘̞̗̞̦̻̣̹̝͎̌̈́͊̒0̶̢͍͉̼̳̖̹͍̩͖̱͋̇̄͒͆̍̏̀͜͝1̶̧͕͔̞̫̻͕̩̺͈̺̬̬͈̒̈͌̈́̋̔̈́̾̿͋̀͌́1̴̡̹̝̱̠̦̫͉̝͚̯̦͍̝̓͐͑̔̈̄̎͝0̷̞̝̣̪̹̹̹̹̲͉̒̐̈́̔͊͋͐̆͐́͝͠ ̶̛̰̙͔̹̬̭͚̲̝̺͑̑̂̓̑̐͒̄̇͂͠0̶͙͍͎̥̖̱̦̳͚͈̝̺̞̯̈́̃́̍̕1̷̝̻̖̺̈̽̎̂́̿́̂͌̀̍͘͠͝1̴̡͖̻̙̺̤̦͕̤̙͓͒0̵̝̋͊̌͠͝0̵̢͖͍̪̞̦̼͉͇̲͇̘̉̃̄̇̀̉̀͗̅͑͌͂͘͜1̶̨̭̞́̀̏̍̂̓̔͑͒̒0̵̛̪̹͕̫̝̞̯͕̟͇̥̠͓͌̆̾́̍͌̀͗̓̔̚͠͠ͅ1̴̢͙͚̳͉̻̲̟͉̲͚̲͍͒̒̎̆́̀͐̀̾ ̶̙̍̑̏́̾͊̎̽̐͂̽̾̆͝0̶̡̡͕̱̹̩͛̑̋͂̓͛͋͊̔̑̏̕ͅ1̷̪̼͖̺͖̯̙̰͉͔̠̎̒͐̀̓͒̊̊͆̋͐͝1̶̭͙̃̔͊͑̽̓͑̆̈́͘̚͝͝1̸̡̧̧̛̮͖͎̯̥͓͖̟͔̙̈́̆̕͝0̵̞͎̝̖̻̀̋͂͑̆̉̾̒͗͐͛̎̕1̶̡̛̺̬̹̗̘͚̬͎͎̔̎̋̊͊̍̎̽̈́̐̓̋͘1̶̨̨̢͇̥͈̯͉͔̩͙̜̉̈̋͑͂́̇1̶̢̧̨̢̨̨͔̗̠͓̻̬͙̩̘̑̂̾̈́̕ ̵̡̨̳̟̙͎̟̤͚͉̮̩̫̰̔̀̓̓͝ͅ0̸̨̻̝̫͓̠͓̰̇̈̑̿̾̿̂͐̄͂̀͂̕̕0̷̘̃͑̅͋͝1̸̮͔̲͖͉͇̥̫͙̤̏̋̅̓̀͋̍͑̕ͅ0̷̙͐̍͒̽̄̿̐̽͝͝0̸̨̨̗̤̼̬̱̥̭͕͎̫̀̂̽̆̌̓̈́̚͝͝ͅ0̴͎͍̮̗̰͙̎̋ͅ0̷̧̮͚͔̱̦̻͉̗͙̈́̑̅̆̏͌͜ͅ0̴̜̯̗̘̣̝̓͌̋̉̎̏́͝ ̶̡̢̝̖͙̟͍̙̞̖̭̥̻̻̔̅͋̑͛̃̄̓̽͌̉̂0̸̧͉̙̼̥̳̪̦̱̪͚̀̇̔1̴̢̧̢̦̰̼͉̤̫͈̩̰̪̘̱̓̊͆̑͗́̏̚1̴̡̨͚̲̣̱̪͗̽̔0̶̧̡̼̞͖̻̺͖̲̞͂́̈́̓̅̈͠0̷̧̨̖̰̥̠̠͎͆͐̆̚͜1̸̢̲͎̥̹͉͖̙͖̘̝̥̩̰̎͌̓̆͝0̶̨̧̪̜̺̬̗̠̮̪̗̦͆̈̋̎̑͗̓͒̄̆̈́͠0̸̦́̌̓̄̏̋́̾̏͒͠ ̶̡͙̣̠̦̬̲̲̝̘̩̝̦̅͊͑̎͐͆͋͛̋̉0̶̣͖̗͔͈̀1̷̼̝͕̂̐̏̊̏̇̈̒̈́͐̕1̵̛̠̟͓̲̙̯̃́̆͆͊̋̃̅̕̕͝͠͠0̶̦̘̭̞̥̜̠̇̄̓͘ͅ0̵̭̬͙͚͚̜̜̦͑͑̎͐̽̾̓́́̈́̎́0̴̧̧̡̛̙̖̪̮̙̮̖̱͉̠̳̬̂̏̏͘͠0̸̛̺̦͍̭̘̥̲̙͕̻̣̝̌͐̔̋̿̅́̀̆̚̚͜͠1̴̡͕͍̤͚͙̘̭͍̦̤̫̰̟̂͌́̄̐̀̋̃̽̒͐͘ ̶̲͒̀͊̀0̸̡̫̞̠͍̙̪͍̼̿͂͛̄́͌1̷̨̨̜̝̦͎̱̣͔͍̝̣͍̠̋̃̀̐̽͘1̶̨̮̦̯͎̦͇̤̬͓͔̱̻̩͋͗̓̇̀̽̈́1̶̡̞͕̣̥̪͕͕̈̄̆̿͂̔͛̂̍̎̿̐̈̀1̸͚̰̲̒̈̽̈̈̄̆͛͋̒̊̓̚͝͝0̷̨̧̞̘̠̪̥͇̦̅̊̿͝0̴͓̞̤̪̹̣̰͕̗͛̂̅͠͝1̵̟͎̳̤̌͊́̓̅͗̅͆̋̓͊͒͝ ̸̧̦͉̦̈́͂̿̄̒͋0̸̛̝̪̗͍͕̲̑̋̏̿̿͝1̵̢͚̦͎̼̬̜̤̗̤̭̈́͊͜1̵͔͙̙̠̰̖̮͍̹̳͓͙̍̓́̅̃̈́̆̊̔̍͜1̸̫̔͝0̵̛̟̲͈̞̌̀̏̌̃͗͒͛̓̀̎̊̊͘0̷̖̫͕̹̫̰̝̎̌̉͆̍͌͌͋̋͐͊̐̅1̶̨̦̩͓̞̻̖̗̽̏̎̆̊̊͘ͅ1̴̧͖̹͍̖̯̗̭̟̀̉́̾̄̐̄͒̈̈̊͑͘ ̴̭̗̟̖͕̈̈́̃͐̒͐͒́̏̈́̕0̶̲̋0̶̨̺̥̣̭͚̤̖͚͍̜̬̗̈̂̂̌̒̓̾̄̈́͝1̸̡̩̝̙͈̣̙͓͙̬̽̇͆̆́͊̎̇̽̎̋̾̃0̸̡̡̻͍̻̮͓͖̹͍̈́͂͛̾͆̆̌̿0̶̨̫͙̭͈̭̳̤̮̙͕͇̞̽̊́̈́̄́0̵̛͉̃̉̍̿̅̒̉̏̈́͊̇0̵̢̯̩̂͒͑̎̃́̃̊̚̕͝͝0̸̢̧̢̺̯̝̥̻͈͕̜̱̞͉̓̏̊̑͒̾̊́͆̓̑̄̾͝ ̷͓͕̟̯͇̔̀̾͗͋̋͊̈́̂̈̽̓̐0̷̛̘̩͍̤͍̹̺̞̞͜1̶̨̤̣̣̙̣̤͔̬͎͕̟̩̹̹̌̊̽̇͗̎̎̐̇̅͘1̸̡̝̠͇̤̠̰̆͛́͛́͝0̷͖̘̣̫͋̏̊͋̌1̷̡͉͇͕̤͚̱̼̻͎̼͇̭͆1̷̥̰͓͎̺͒̀́͑͠0̴̛̭̪̰̲̉̓̿̐̃̐̈́̈́͝0̶̢̡̢͓͚̗̗̮͚͙̫͋̔ ̷̢̭̠̗͕͔̬̯͙͎̮̖͕̲͂̎̍̓̓͛̓̈́͒̕̚̚͠0̷̢̧̱̘̟͙̏1̸̡̘̙̣̗̜͇͓͈̠̘͚̺̊̒̅̋̇̌̀̕͜ͅ1̵̣̪͓̙̜̰͖̱͉̻͗͛̓̋̚͝ͅ0̵̘̤̻̹̦̠̗̍͌͛̊̿̒̏̍̎̈́̓͝͝0̷̧͔͚͉̙̗͇̘͐̎̃̓̈́̀̾ͅ0̵͗̈́̔͆̍͛̔̓̐̀́̏͘ͅ0̷̜͕͚̞͎̻̀͝1̸͖͎̯̗̖̯̻͈̊̈́̃̏̓̐̋͂͝ ̷̨̣͕̝̻̀̾͐̚0̶̧̢̺͎͈̲̩̥̦͇͙̭͉́́͑̓̌̌̀̒̌̄͆̚͜͝͠1̶̭͍̲̳̣̠̹̩̝̖̩͇̦̆͋̂́̏͆̄̂ͅ1̵̪̜̦͎̭́̆̐̋̄̾͋̀̋͘͠1̵̢͍̞̭͔̹̹̣̪͝ͅ0̴̨̖̞̙͔̥̞̭̠̖̰͚̿͋͜1̸̟̎͛̽̂̃́̃̒0̶͓̩̮̪͊̔͛̿̋̌̎̔̉͂́̔̐͒͠0̶̠̞̘͖̝̊́͋̓͜ ̸̭̩͕̼̟͎̭͚̿̽͂̓͛͊̌̔ͅ0̷͇̗͙̟͋͗́̏̇̀̎̄1̶̡̹̼͕̰͉̟̻̟͎͒͆̿͂̄͝1̵̡̣̪̳̘͔̹̣̤̠̬͕̖͔͕̒́̓̄0̶͉̗̟̘̭̫̗͎͒̍͗͒͑̊̔͑̚͝͠0̵̧̰̜̖̭̲̯̲͉̮̜͈̼̄͛͒̑͝1̵̭͕͕̲̖̮͇̤̥̝͍̓0̶̢̧̤̣̦̝̻͇͊̓̇̽͒́̾̔̓̍͐͊͝1̷͓͎̙͔̝̲͕͇̻̤̯̇̀̾̐̌̓̉͜͝ ̷̯̰̯́͂̇0̷͚͍̗̀͋̆͊̄̇͗͝1̵̛̱͂̋͑͗̈́̃̋̕1̵̪̱̳̮͎̫̞̝̬͔̤͉̽͐̑͘̕1̷̨̛̙͍̘̙̙̼͇͚͓̬̰̲̇̿̃͗̽̏̆̓͗͌̒̕̚̕0̵̧̯̦̮̳̮̠͉̜̒̂́̔̒̿̂̈́͜͝ͅ0̶̛̦̖̙͈̺͚̏̍͆͊͌̆1̸̢̛̞̺̣̹̳͎͇͕̿̈͛͂́͊̚͜͝ͅ0̵̭̠̳̟̳͔͋̅̈̒́̈̔̋̃̓͜**~~  
̵̫̟̬̐͐̏͂̃͆͂̕͝

₵ⱧⱤɎ₴₳₦₮ⱧɆ₥Ʉ₥ ｗａｓ ｄａｎｃｉｎｇ， ｓｐｉｎｎｉｎｇ ｉｎ ｔｈｅ ｖａｓｔ ｂａｌｌｒｏｏｍ ｗｈｅｒｅ Ｍｏｔｈｅｒ ｕｓｅｄ ｔｏ ｈｏｌｄ ｆａｍｉｌｙ ｇａｔｈｅｒｉｎｇｓ． Ｔｈｉｓ ｏｎｅ ｗａｓ ｔｈｅ ｓｉｘｔｈ． Ｔｈｅ ｓｉｘｔｈ ｐａｒｔｙ ｗａｓ Ａｕｎｔｉｅ＇ｓ ｆｉｒｓｔ ｏｎｅ ｓｉｎｃｅ ｈｅｒ ｄｉｓａｐｐｅａｒａｎｃｅ．

Ｓｈｅ ｈｅｌｄ ｍｅ ｏｎｔｏ ｈｅｒ ｌａｐ， ｔｉｇｈｔｌｙ ｈｏｌｄｉｎｇ ｍｙ ｈａｎｄ ｗｈｉｌｅ ₵ⱧⱤɎ₴₳₦₮ⱧɆ₥Ʉ₥ ｇｒａｃｅｆｕｌｌｙ ｄａｎｃｅｄ ａｃｒｏｓｓ ｔｈｅ ｂａｌｌｒｏｏｍ． "Ｉｔ ｕｓｅｄ ｔｏ ｂｅ ｈｅｒ ｊｏｂ，" ｓｈｅ ｗｈｉｓｐｅｒｅｄ ｉｎｔｏ ｍｙ ｅａｒ． "Ｓｈｅ ｕｓｅｄ ｔｏ ｄａｎｃｅ ｐｒｅｔｔｉｌｙ ｌｉｋｅ ｔｈａｔ ｆｏｒ ｍａｎｙ ｐｅｏｐｌｅ ｓｏｍｅ ｙｅａｒｓ ａｇｏ． Ｓｈｅ ｌｏｖｅｄ ｉｔ．"

"Ｃａｎ Ｉ ｄａｎｃｅ ｗｉｔｈ ｈｅｒ？" Ｉ ｉｎｎｏｃｅｎｔｌｙ ａｓｋｅｄ． Ａｕｎｔｉｅ ｌａｕｇｈｅｄ， ｌｅｔｔｉｎｇ ｇｏ ｏｆ ｍｙ ｈａｎｄ． "Ｇｏ ａｈｅａｄ．"

Ｉ ｔｒｉｅｄ ｔｏ ｄａｎｃｅ ｌｉｋｅ ₵ⱧⱤɎ₴₳₦₮ⱧɆ₥Ʉ₥ ｆｏｒ ａｗｈｉｌｅ． Ｔｈｏｕｇｈ， Ｉ ｔｒｉｐｐｅｄ ａｎｄ ｆｅｌｌ． ₵ⱧⱤɎ₴₳₦₮ⱧɆ₥Ʉ₥ ｃａｔｃｈｅｓ ｍｅ ｉｍｍｅｄｉａｔｅｌｙ．

"Ａｒｅ ｙｏｕ ｏｋａｙ， Ｍｏｎｉｋａ？" ｓｈｅ ａｓｋｓ． Ｈｅｒ ｖｏｉｃｅ ｗａｓ ｖｅｒｙ ｐｒｏｐｅｒ， ｂｕｔ ｓｏｍｅｈｏｗ ｓｗｅｅｔ ｌｉｋｅ ｈｏｎｅｙ． Ｔｈｅ ｓｏｕｎｄ ｏｆ ｈｅｒ ｖｏｉｃｅ ｍａｄｅ ｍｙ ｈｅａｒｔ ｍｅｌｔ ａｓ ｍｅｍｏｒｉｅｓ ｒｕｓｈ ｂａｃｋ ｆｏｒ ｍｅ． Ｉ ｓｔｕｍｂｌｅ．

Ｉ ｃｏｕｌｄｎ＇ｔ ｂｅｌｉｅｖｅ．．． ｔｈａｔ Ｉ ｃｏｕｌｄｎ＇ｔ ｒｅｍｅｍｂｅｒ ｔｈｅ ｓｏｕｎｄ ｏｆ ｈｅｒ ｖｏｉｃｅ．

Ｈｅｒ ｆａｃｅ ｗａｓ ｓｔｉｌｌ ｂｌｕｒｒｅｄ， ｒｅｐｌａｃｅｄ ｂｙ ａ ｗｈｉｔｅ ｃｈｒｙｓａｎｔｈｅｍｕｍ ｆｌｏｗｅｒ， ｂｕｔ Ｉ ｃｏｕｌｄ ｆｅｅｌ ｈｅｒ ｓｍｉｌｅ ａｔ ｍｅ． Ｉｔ ｗａｓｎ＇ｔ ｌｏｎｇ ｔｉｌｌ ｓｈｅ ｌａｕｇｈｓ， ｔｈｅ ｓｏｕｎｄ ａｓ ｍｅｌｏｄｉｃ ａｓ ｂｅｌｌｓ．

"Ｙｏｕｒ ｄａｎｃｉｎｇ ｉｓ ａｍａｚｉｎｇ，" ｓｈｅ ｓａｙｓ ａｔ ｌａｓｔ． "Ｄｏ ｙｏｕ ｍｉｎｄ ｉｆ ｙｏｕ ｄａｎｃｅｄ ｆｏｒ ｍｅ ａｇａｉｎ？"

"Ｎｏｐｅ！" Ｉ ｓｔｏｏｄ ｕｐ ａｇａｉｎ， ｒｅａｄｙ ｔｏ ｉｍｐｒｅｓｓ ₵ⱧⱤɎ₴₳₦₮ⱧɆ₥Ʉ₥ ｏｎｃｅ ｍｏｒｅ． Ａ ｃａｍｅｒａ ｓｈｕｔｔｅｒ ｉｓ ｈｅａｒｄ ｂｅｈｉｎｄ ｍｅ． Ａｕｎｔｉｅ ｗａｓ ｔａｋｉｎｇ ａｎｏｔｈｅｒ ｐｈｏｔｏ．

"Ｙｏｕ ｈａｖｅ ｔｏ ｄａｎｃｅ ｔｏｏ Ａｋｉ．"

Ａｕｎｔｉｅ ｃｈｕｃｋｌｅｓ ｓｉｌｅｎｔｌｙ， ａ ｂｅａｄ ｏｆ ｓｗｅａｔ ｔｒｉｃｋｌｉｎｇ ｄｏｗｎ ｈｅｒ ｆｏｒｅｈｅａｄ．"Ｉ＇ｍ ｎｏｔ ｔｈａｔ ｇｏｏｄ． Ｙｏｕ ａｌｒｅａｄｙ ｋｎｏｗ ｔｈａｔ Ｍｏｍ．"

Ｏｎｃｅ ａｇａｉｎ， Ｉ ｆｅｅｌ ｈｅｒ ｓｍｉｌｅ． "Ｔｈａｔ ｄｏｅｓｎ＇ｔ ｍｅａｎ ａｎｙｔｈｉｎｇ ａｎｙｍｏｒｅ． Ｃｏｍｅ ｗｉｔｈ ｕｓ．"

"Ｙｏｕ ｓｏｕｎｄ ｌｉｋｅ ａ ｃｕｌｔ ｌｅａｄｅｒ，" ｓｈｅ ｄｅａｄｐａｎｓ．

"Ｏｈ， ｙｏｕ！" Ｓｈｅ ｃｏｍｅｓ ｏｖｅｒ ａｎｄ ｄｒａｇｓ Ａｕｎｔｉｅ ｔｏ ｔｈｅ ｍａｉｎ ｆｌｏｏｒ， ｗｈｅｒｅ ｗｅ ａｌｌ ｄａｎｃｅｄ ｔｏｇｅｔｈｅｒ．

I stumbled and fell, pulling Auntie with me. A harsh knock on the door was heard soon after.

"Oy! Don't make too much noise," Haru yells across rooms.

"Sorry," we both instantly say. Auntie then glances at me and frowns. "Are you okay? You looked really out of it just now."

"I'm... fine." The disorienting feeling washed over me again. I can't remember what we were doing again... How did we..?

Her laugh.  
I had another flashback, didn't I?

I seem to have flashbacks about ̃͗̽̏̆̓͗͌̒̕̚₵ⱧⱤɎ₴₳₦₮ⱧɆ₥Ʉ₥ at sudden times. I don't know why they happen or what triggers them, but they happen sometimes. When they're over, I seem to blank on what I was doing beforehand. Though, a lot of memories were given to me in this one. I never got one so detailed before.

...

How could I forget something so significant ₵ⱧⱤɎ₴₳₦₮ⱧɆ₥Ʉ₥'s voice?

Even with not knowing everything, her voice holds a lot of emotional attachment within me. So, how could I, one day, could forget this lady after all she has done for me!

Wait... All she's done..?

"Monika! I'm really getting worried." I snap out of my thoughts to see Auntie looking with me with great concern. Her frown as deepened as her eyes narrowed. She's going to be hard convincing now, great. "Did you hit your head during that fall?"

I'm pretty sure Auntie knows all this, but I decided to hold my questions until later. I faintly remember that she was really excited beforehand, and I don't want it to plummet.

"I'm okay!" I say wearily. "I'm okay! Just a little... spacy, that's all."

"Let's just rest, okay?" She tries to appear all right, but we both know that she's not convinced in the slightest.

We sat on the wall, just above the window. It's our favorite spot here since the sun's rays can warm us slightly. This room could be quite cold... in more ways than one. To have something to warm us up is crucial to a living situation like this.

I noticed that the sun was slowly setting. I always wanted to see another Florida sunset when I first came here. Though it's been nearly three weeks since I left, I miss them again. They don't seem like Florida sunsets anymore, always caged behind a small, round, window. It's dishearting whenever I glance at it.  
I wonder if we're still in Flordia anymore.

"Do you think it's November already?" I ask. Auntie turns, facing me.

"I... don't know. Two weeks seem too short for the entire month to past by."

"Ah, we should've kept track of the dates."

Auntie laughs softly, "That would've made things easier."

I nod, agreeing with her. A comfortable silence envelops us both as I think about past memories intensely, playing with my fingers. Auntie hums yet another song I couldn't recognize.

I chuckle, recalling an event.

"Hmm, what's up?"

"Oh. I was just remembering how around this time we have our homecoming dance. My friends and I acted like such fools."

"Oh! They still do the homecoming dance around this time?!"

"Auntie! Yours wasn't that long ago."

"I know, I know! But... I hardly remember mine since it was so terribly awful. Yours has to be better."

"Oh...um... we didn't actually go in."

Auntie blanks before looking away. "I contract my statement."

"Hey!"

"What did you guys do there then? Stand at the entrance aimlessly?"

I laugh, waving her off. "We actually saw the whole thing from the back windows of the school! I would've gone in as usual, but I didn't want to be swarmed by students all night."

To think of it, it was my first one. I was too paranoid about having people crowd at me that I didn't go my first year. Though, I felt obligated to go since Sayori was joining me then. Natsuki and Yuri showed up much later, so we managed to find them throughout the event. I remember the memory fondly to this day.

* * *

_The time is 10:27pm October 28, 2016. Small stars above shine below the huge school building and the large clusters of students getting out of cars. Loud, excited, chattering is heard throughout the air as students line up to get their tickets checked for validity. Music is blasting outside the gym and into the crisp air of autumn._

_It's the homecoming dance, and I'm scared shitless._

_I mean, I'm supposed to me scared. Despite being a second year, I didn't come to the dance last year. This whole thing was new, huge, and scary. Nothing like the small middle school parties in Flordia._

_I never wanted to come in the first place, but Sayori dragged me in, and you know somehow I magically do whatever she says._  
_I sigh, it's those puppy eyes. It's always those puppy eyes._

_Sitting in the back of the school, I feel the light cold air brush off my hands. We were conducting an honestly stupid plan, but with the literature club...existing, this one wasn't so surprising._

_"Do you think we won't get caught?" I ask Sayori. The girl in question was wearing a formal red dress, on top of it was a gray fur coat. I was wearing the only dress I had, my old yellow sundress from Flordia. It was embarrassing, wearing this old thing. I mean, Auntie brought it for my birthday almost a year ago! What will everyone think if I showed up publicly with such an out of place dress?_

_"I'm sure we won't," Sayori exclaims, lifting me from my troubling anxieties. This plan just cannot work without 100% success!"_

_"Then, let's try our best, "I say, trying to sound as hopeful was the girl beside me. She cheers, the very sound causing my heart to burst from my chest._

_No! You have a boyfriend now, Monika! You need to be more loyal to him._  
_~~The confession from last week flashed through my mind, and my hope plummets much more.~~ _

_I can't break his heart... I just can't..._

_Distracting my mind from... ** ~~that~~ ** situation, I look through the back windows of the gym and into the dance. It was beginning._

_"Ah, Sayori, look!" The principal was walking up the small stage our school has for its band. Annually, the principal has this speech to greet the first years, welcome back the second and third years, and congratulate the fourth years. At the end, it's boring, but I was invested. My first homecoming speech!_

_The speech was long and tiresome, but eventually, it ended! The music that blasted from admission resumed, and bodies started dancing. The whole thing looked like it was shot for one of those high school flicks. The scene appeared so unbelievably amazing._

_"So cool," I whisper, star-struck._

_"I can't believe this is your first time to a homecoming," Sayori laughed. "You look excited."_

_"I am! This is very different than dances in Florida. They're always so small and quiet." Though I love Flordia dances too, this..._

_I never saw this before._  
_It's lovely._  
_So lovely._

_"This is so much better than studying!"_

_"I know! You should get out more, stuff like this isn't always that bad."_

_My smile softens. "I really should."_

_I really should, but I can't. Mother will be disappointed if slack for a second, so I need to keep working! I can't let her be disappointed, or I'll be sent back to Florida. And... after forming the literature club... I found that I don't want to. I can't leave the literature club._

_Not now._

_Mentally planning extra time to study, I watch the dance in the meantime._

* * *

_"Woah, Monika! I think I saw Yuri in the crowd!"_

_My eyes glance to Sayori, frowning slightly. " Our Yuri? The shy one that isn't that good with people?"_

_Sayori turns to me, light dancing in her eyes. "Yes our Yuri! Look! She's right there!" Sayori points to a purple haired girl in one of the seats. Her eyes softly gazed upon her small cell phone. She was wearing an elegant dark purple dress, though it was longsleeved. She also wore a flimsy lace sweater loosely on her tall frame._

_I blinked twice, clearing my vision. "Wait, why would Yuri be here?"_

_"I dunno," she shrugged, concluded after gazing at her for a few more seconds. To be honest, a dark feeling rises inside me. Is it jealousy?_

_No, Monika. Boyfriend._

_"Want to say hi with me?"_

_"We don't have tickets, Sayori."_

_"I know! We can always sneak in!"_

_My eyes widen. "Sneak in?"_

_"Don't say it like it's such an alien topic! We are going to sneak into this building, and you're going to like it!"_

_"What if we get caught?"_

_Sayori smiles slyly, pointing at my chest. "We won't!"_

_"W-Wait! What do you mean 'we won't'? There are dozens of staff and teachers here! Wait, Sayori!" I try to yell after her, but she's already running to the front of the building. I sigh._

_Homecomings are marvelous when you're twenty feet away from them._  
_Though, being less than twenty feet...trouble insures._

* * *

In the middle of the night, the light suddenly turns on. I know I should be worried, but I'm too tired too. Instead, I pull the blanket to my face, blocking the newfound light.

"Oy," Auntie whispers, pressing her index finger lightly on my cheek. "Wake up."

"Later," I mumble, trying my best to go back to sleep. Auntie sighs, pressing her finger harder.

"Haru's here."

Makes sense. How else would wake us up in the ungodly hours of the morning and make us do ridiculous stuff? Haru, of course!

He didn't bother us for a week and a half. I was starting to enjoy the luxury.

I groan because I know that I _have_ to wake up if it's him, or he will simply wait forever. Slowly picking myself off the floor where we slept, I groggily meet his eyes. He smiles softly.

"Good morning Monika! I didn't want to wake you this early, but we need to get ready if we are going to be on time."

"On time?" I say, rubbing my eyes. "For what?"

His smile widens as he gestures to the large box beside him. It's filled to the brim with makeup, wigs, eye contacts, and other things.

"Oh! We're going outside, of course!"

I blank, then frowned, then blank again.

What.  
_What_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a drawing of Auntie. Since I don't know how to insert images, there's a link-
> 
> [Auntie](https://aminoapps.com/c/drawingamino-1/page/blog/aki/lXL1_jmYsQuDrMRQEDRQbnDpYdprW6Nbb4B)
> 
> My writing ability is better than my drawing ability, but I hope you enjoy her.


	27. Dokumentary #3*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Video #4  
> 10/22/17  
> Description: Sometimes, knowledge can go fuck itself.  
> *-Warning! This chapter could be sensitive to some audiences!

 

_**Warning! This chapter contains themes of teenage pregnancy and abortions! Please skip if your sensitive to any of these things!** _

* * *

 

 

The first thing Natsuki felt walking in the grocery store was fear. Cold blooded fear that suddenly rushed through her small, petite figure. She feels emotions, emotions she doesn't want to waste uselessly explaining, but shook her to her very core. She stands at the entrance in dread for what feels like forever before taking a shaky breath and walking in.

Natsuki always went out grocery shopping when the other girls were busy and such. In fact, she preferred going shopping by herself. You just can't pull shit from the shelve and expected it to be good! You need to check _everything_! From the freshness to the popularity, and oh god the prices.

Especially for high schoolers like herself, the prices are the most important. The dull chattering of shoppers behind her is, believe or not, the perfect way to get groceries. No Sayori to distract her from her work and no Yuri being...Yuri. Don't mistake that she doesn't love them (though she'll never say it) but for god's sake, they can be annoying sometimes.

She _didn't_ go here right after skipping school, fully knowing Sayori and Yuri won't be home, to hide something. Of course not! Why the fuck would anyone think that? Why the fuck is she thinking of _it?_ All she has to do is to grab the box and go check out why is she overthinking _it_ her papa won't be there it will be okay--!

_No Natsuki. You are going here to shop. Solely shopping. Nothing else. Okay? Okay._

So, she went grocery shopping like she was supposed to. Running around to get certain items, intensely checking the quality of ingredients, quietly swallowing her pride and setting down spices with outrageous prices. (Seriously though, 4.99 for 2 ounces?! Bull's-eye fix your shit) It actually lifted her mood, almost like manga does. She even unconsciously hummed her favorite song for a while.

Temporarily, her worries floated away, replaced by good food and barcodes.

Eventually, Natsuki got to the hot drinks aisle. It was a small area since Bull's-eye didn't have much room for drinks, but still smelt like a busy cafe. It used to overwhelm her, but after a few visits, she got over it. She got the usual. Tea leaves for Yuri, sweets for Sayori, and some K-cups for Moni--!

Wait, no.  
She's missi- not here right now.

Natsuki hesitantly put the K-cups down, frowning slightly. She'd always got some cups for Monika, so it felt unnatural to just _not buy them anymore._  
But... she doesn't know when Monika's going to get back, and she can't just buy cups to sit in an abandoned cupboard underneath an untouched coffee machine. It's a waste of money.

She steps back and huffs, biting her lip to stop herself from breaking down in the goddamn store. It's literally been weeks since her disappearance and she's _still_ is reacting like this. Dammit. "Fucking Monika," she mutters to herself, blinking back tears. "Running off when I really need her."

The petite girl knows it's a coping mechanism, and it's not really Monika's fault, but she needs to be angry at someone. Haru, that fucking piece of utter shit, isn't enough.

It doesn't help that this was the same store the small baker had her last conversation with Monika in. And she isn't talking about that farewell bullshit. No, that stupid conversation with her about a fucking cashier. And she knows her final message of "doing something" was suspicious. And she knows she should've stopped her because, spoiler alert, she fucking disappears hours after. And she **_knows_ ** she could've done more but, nooo, she's such a scum! She can't even say she misses Monika correctly!

She's...

She's...

She's fucking crying in the store. Goddamn it.

No! No time being negative Natsuki! What does Sayori usually say... oh! Happy thoughts! Yeah, happy thoughts Natsuki! She slaps her cheeks lightly, trying to compose herself. She's _not_ breaking down in the store. She'll wait until she goes home... or to a bathroom.. just somewhere else.

She runs to an isolated aisle (she would rather die than take her cart to the bathroom) to make sure nobody sees her desperately wipe away her sobs. It took almost ten minutes, consoling, and the promise of buying some ice cream for herself when she gets back, but she eventually reduced herself to a few hiccups. No one would know she'd been crying except for the red cheeks, ruined mascara, and the trembling voice! That could be a plus, right?

She was about to go to check out when her phone lightly buzzes in her pocket. She groans, having yet again another distraction from what was going to be an easy trip. She answers swiftly, too annoyed look at the caller id.

"...Hello?"

"Natsuki."

That's why she chokes on her own spit when she hears Yuri's voice.

"Natsuki? Natsuki?! Are you okay?" Yuri's quiet but concerned voice whispers from the other end.

"Fine," the pink haired girl manages to cough out. "I'm fine."

"Are you really? You sound like you've been crying."  
Fun fact about Yuri; she's very protective when one of her friends gets injured or depressed. And, she never brings stuff down.  
Never.

So, after Natsuki got enough air into her lungs to actually function again, she froze.

"I'm _okay_ Yuri. Nothing happened."

"Natsuki I know something's up. We could-"

"You shouldn't. I was just... having an off day."

An 'off day', huh? She'd wiped off her remaining makeup using extra makeup remover she packs in case. She didn't look great, especially because her face now shows a faint mark on her face by her father. She unintentionally sighs, knowing someone will see it. Her fizzed pink hair sprang out in many directions. Her eyes were still a bit bloodshot (though she had glasses for it) and her lip still trembled like a child's. If Yuri saw her like this, she'll definitely never get off her case.

"Are you sick again?" Yuri suddenly blurted out as if the question has been bothering her all day. Natsuki stood stunned.

"N-No Yuri," she lies. "I'm just out of it."  
There's silence on the other end.

"A-Are you l-lying?" Yuri said in a much more quieter, almost shy voice.

"Of course not! Why would you think that?!" The petite girl almost laughs to mask away from the pain.

"I'm not j-joking, Natsuki. T-This is serious."

"...Ah, sorry. I'm fine."

"..."

" _Really_."

"...Fine. I'll be back after school. Sayori's going to the doctor's to get her cast off, so she'll probably be a little late."

Natsuki somewhat cringed at the word doctor, but thankfully Yuri didn't notice it. After a few awkward words of goodbye, Yuri hung up, and the petite girl slumped on her cart.  
She wants this trip to be over already, she _needs_ it to be over, but she _knows_ it won't. Not for a long while.

The check out lines are the things that take forever.

She reluctantly waited though ready to run out in embarrassment at any moment. She covers the faint red blemish with her phone, pretending to be still on a call with someone. The glasses she had on (they were Sayori's in case she wasn't so shit before) kept on slipping off annoyingly, so she had to rearrange them ever so often. She was done, ready to just go home and collapse on the couch, but she saw _them_.

The pharmacy was across the check out station so Natsuki could see them clearly. Bright colors to display white, peaceful, boxes when she wasn't at peace at all. The large number of cases there was overwhelming enough. The words "Expecting?" in big, bold, letters caught her attention the most as they sent a shivering feeling of cringe up her spine.

Oh god, they're over doing it.

Her situation was anything but exciting. It wasn't happy or lively like the bold letters were. Natsuki wasn't expecting, she's desperate. She wants it to be wrong. She wants it to be just another thought she's overanalyzing. But... the sick days and the emotions and _everything_! It wasn't right. She needs to check.

She brought all her groceries before buying the damned thing, making sure no one was paying attention. The pharmacist gave her this weird look of pity before smiling slightly. She'd said pregnancy test was on the house.

"Let's hope," she whispers, crossing her fingers and giving that same smile of pity. She hated it. It wasn't her fault she needed it.

And yet, she had taken the pharmacist's words to heart. She hopes, no, she fucking _prays_ she isn't pregnant today.

* * *

When she first saw the pregnancy test, she screamed. She didn't hear herself screaming, so she yelled louder. Her shrieks could be listened to anywhere in the home, but she was blind to them. The hysteria of droning white noise was her music.

At the second glace, she threw it across the room at full force, somewhat damaging the plastic casing. She couldn't stand to stare at the damn thing for any longer. She couldn't believe it.

And yet, she finds herself crawling back to it. She doesn't remember falling or crying in fact. She only remembers white static and two lines. She only remembers the two lines in which her world crashed. She only remembers her papa that night.

Why did she justify his actions for the longest time? Why did she think he'll change?

Ha...He'll be the death of her, she's sure. But...she loves him. He's her papa, her last piece of her family. She cannot lose him too.

Time came in bursts for the pinkette. It was like she was drunk, and time skipped forward whenever her hazy mind pleased. However, the euphoria wasn't there, replaced by confusion and disbelief. She found herself somehow out of the bathroom a couple of hours later (though not knowing why she knows it's been hours) and staring at three tests on her bed. She doesn't remember taking them, she only remembers the painful outcome.

The lights weren't on, but she could see their somewhat distinct shape in the moonlight. The two lines on each one were barely visible in the night, so she drops them on her mattress, laying her weak arm over her eyes. The realization of the news still was painful, but she'd run out of tears to cry with.

Her thoughts raced clearly now that Natsuki had tired herself out from her hysteric state. She still felt a bit out of it from the unexpected shock, but she could concentrate rather than curl up in a ball of snot and tears. She could focus on how shitty a human she is.

_'Oh, why?'_ a piece of herself still clutching on her too damaged pride asks.

1\. The first thing Natsuki thought of when she'd saw the pregnancy test was abortion.

Natsuki wanted to abort her own child. Now she realizes how _fucked up_ that was. The human inside her did nothing wrong, and yet the pinkette wanted to assassinate it. But, what else is there to do? She couldn't possibly raise a goddamn child, hell she was one herself!

...

_There is adoption you fucking dumbass!_

Still, she feels bad for giving it to another family. She knows how shit adoption is herself, being so close to being given up. Luckily, her mother was a saving grace.

Fuck, she wishes she could talk to her mother about this. But, she knows how she is...was.

She knows how she _was_ because she's _**dead**_.  
But, she misses the motherly advice she used to tell every time she'll come over. She misses her dying exasperation to go fuck shit up, and yet her soft eyes as she listens curiously to the stories of her friends.  
She misses her.

She's...going off topic. Great. Which leads to the second why she's a shitty human.

2\. Natsuki couldn't focus.

_Like, come on Natsuki! You're pregnant. You're fucking having a baby in eight months! Show some concern._ She tries to stay on the topic that, yes, she's pregnant and have utterly no idea what to do now, but it always slips. She realizes that it's probably the fact that she's utterly exhausted while a thousand thoughts are flying in her mind.

She still feels out of it, shown by her unwillingness to...do anything. That combined with the crushing stress on her shoulders is enough to make her sick. She knows it's not her fault, but god does she has any self-control. Her mind swims with nausea as she shuts her eyes, whimpering slightly.

"...Stop it," she pleas hoarsely to herself. Her moan was sickly and dry but was filled with emotion. The pinkette briefly felt her eyes sting from underneath her arm, but she couldn't cry because of her depletion. "Stop... thinking."  
_About this_ , she continued in thought. _Move on._

Torturing herself wasn't the best idea in this state, so she did.

3\. Natsuki's scared and alone and she fucking hates it.

And she doesn't want to admit it, but she needs someone with her to share her struggles with. She wants someone to comfort her and tell her it'll be okay though they'll both know it wouldn't. She needed motivation. She wanted to be loved.

She wasn't used to love like everyone else. She was neglected by her dad at a younger age, it was valid. She only received it from her mother, but Natsuki didn't know what it meant. How could she? She misinterpreted it to the fake smiles her peers gave her. The useless words of encouragement, the two-faced laughs. She misunderstood being kind from love.

She, later on, understood that being a nice person differs from actually loving someone. She also knew at that time that the people around her were two-faced, only being friendly to her for a reward of some sort. But, she was okay with that. If she didn't have those friends, she would be alone at home. She knew how painful _her own house_ felt.  
Natsuki didn't need love at the time.

But, when she joined the literature club, everything changed. She learned that love felt so much better than being friendly. She wanted to love and to be loved too. Sure, she still needed someone to be kind at her from time to time to keep the self-deprecation at bay, but real love feels _so much better_. It felt like the home she never had.

Though she can't go to her friends. _Not now._ She doesn't know how they'll react. Sure, they told her multiple times that they'll love her continuously, but that has a limit. She _**knows**_ it has a limit. And, she is pretty sure being pregnant with her _father's_ child passes a boundary. She's terrified of losing them. She's scared of losing her home she housed her love in.

The pinkette notices that the room is pitch black, lifting her arm. She's alone in this weary barrage of shame and self-deprecation. And she's _tired_.

That is until she realizes that she has one friend she could talk to.

"Hey, little guy."

She blindly guides her hand to her non-existent baby bump, caressing it slightly. In any other time, she'd probably flush bright red like a lamp in embarrassment. However, now she is desperate for someone because she hates the feeling of being alone.

There was no response, of course. But, Natsuki kept talking.

"I-I admit, I'm scared. I have no doubt you are too, being newly formed and... stuff. I'm pretty sure... you'll be feeling that a lot, you picked a... wonderful host." She'd laugh at her own joke dripped in so much sarcasm she'll choke, but she'll actually kill herself with her throat being hoarse from crying earlier. She already has trouble talking as is.

"But we'll be together through it all. We're basically connected... based on health class anyway. I'll...send you my encouragement or whatever, and you'll comfort me whenever I feel lonely. ...It's a win-win, eh?"

There was uncertainty in Natsuki's voice though. There could be complications with the pregnancy or birth that could happen to both of them. Oh yeah, haven't she mentioned she, the baby, or possibly both can die in the midst of all this?!

Or she could always go through with the abortion...

_No! What the fuck Natsuki? Didn't you just say no to aborting?_

She sighs, gazing at the pitch black sky. She felt drunk. Her head was a fifty-pound weight while the rest of her felt weightless. The emotions she felt in the blurred hours—anger, sadness, fright—were intensified to their peak. Time came in bursts, and that itself was weird.  
But just because it was weird doesn't mean she doesn't appreciate it. It made her realize what she was wasting.

She opened her mouth to speak again, her mind clear of woes for once, when she gets interrupted by the buzz of her phone. She jumped, goosebumps all over her clammy skin. She quickly unlocked her phone, but the buzz was gone. All there was a notification from Yuri.

_Yu: Are you up?_

* * *

"You... didn't need to do this," Natsuki says before sipping her tea, the drink soothing her throat. She sighs in relief.

She was downstairs sitting on the living room's couch. Yuri was in the kitchen, making her own tea. The bookworm had somehow convinced her to drink tea with her instead of curling up in her room. The pinkette begrudgingly obliged.

"I was going to make tea anyway," Yuri's voice resounds. "I much rather make two since you're awake."

Natsuki huffs but drinks in silence. It was good, a sweet green tea. She shouldn't underestimate Yuri, her brews were always great!

Though, earlier she'd bully the purple-haired girl for it. It was so long ago... she doesn't know why.

She pondered on the thought while gazing at the custom cup Sayori got her. That, in itself, raised questions. "Where's Sayori?"

"Sleeping," Yuri's voice replied, closer this time. She looked up to see Yuri out of the kitchen with her drink. She sits next to Natsuki on the couch, eyes staring into her cup of black tea. "She was so enthusiastic getting her cast off that she tired herself out, I think. Stole a couple of unwanted sweets too." A shy smile made its way to her lips, but it went down as soon as it appeared.

Gazing at the pinkette, she asks, "aren't you suppose to be too?"

Natsuki raised an eyebrow. "I could say the same to you."

Yuri's cheeks went ablaze as she fumbled for words. Natsuki almost felt bad before Yuri composed herself. "I-I have a reason," she stutters, her voice pitches higher than before. She quickly sips her tea to bring it back down.

"I couldn't," she continued.

Natsuki stared at her, before looking at her own lap, fiddling with her drink. "...I guess you could say the same for me."

Yuri chuckled at her phrasing, making her heart lighter. The two sat in comfortable silence for a long time, respectively drinking their teas, before Yuri breaks it.

"I..uhm...wanted to have a talk with you," she says in a quieter tone.

Natsuki hummed in acknowledgment, her throat not as dry as before. "What is it?"

"I...uhm..." Yuri trailed off, tracing the rim of her cup. The pinkette notes her deep breathes. "I-I wanted t-to know i-if you're okay?"

The pinkette sighs. Oh. "I'm fine Yuri! It's been hard since Monika disappeared, but I'll be okay. Especially with the hope of--!"

"Not that," Yuri said quieter, almost in a breathless, desperate, tone. "We'll talk about that later but... are you okay, w-with your father I-I mean."

Natsuki paled, suddenly making contact with the rim of her cup and drinking whatever tea is left. She slammed the mug on the coffee table in a rather abrupt manner, startling Yuri.

"I'm fine," she says instantly. "Everything's fine! The sickness I had was just a stomach bug! How careless am I?!"

"The phone call," Yuri whispers, unphased. "You were at the grocery store, am I right?"

Natsuki nods. "Yeah, yeah. Just getting the groceries. No worr--!"

"You've left the receipt."

Natsuki could've sworn her heart fell from her chest to the floor. She guessed Yuri could see her apparent fear as she jumped.

"I-I hid it as soon as I saw it. Nobody but us knows about this."

Yuri paused to let Natsuki breathe. The pinkette wasn't an anxious type, but the topic always seemed to play with her heart, her mind.

"I...I swear Yuri if you ever fucking mutter anything about this..."

"I know! I know! B-But, I'm worried Natsuki."

Natsuki averted her gaze as if the floor is made of gold. She kept silent. She _knows_ she shouldn't tell. She _knows_ she might lose her best friends, her only friends. She knows everything that might happen, every fear of hers might come true.

But, sometimes, knowledge can go fuck itself.

"You...you better treat me the same after this," she whispers after a tense silence.

Yuri gasps. "Of course I will! We're friends, after all!"

Natsuki looks up, her bottom lip trembling and her eyes stinging. Fear grew apparent in her pink eyes, Yuri frowned seeing it.

"I won't lie to you. I won't treat you inferior or a disgrace, I _**swear**_. And... if I treat you with such disreputable behavior then you have my word to kick me out and cut all ties with me. I care for you, Natsuki, you should know that by now."

"Yuri--!"

"I'm scared for you." Yuri's voice was breaking. Natsuki panics. "And I know you're scared too. But it's going to eat us up inside if you don't talk about it. If we don't talk about it. So, please...Natsuki..."

The pinkette could see her bite inside her cheek. Her eyes were stinging, her cheeks scarlet. The only thing that kept Yuri from breaking down was her. She sighs, giving up. She really shouldn't hurt her longer.

"Is this really what you want?"

"Please."

Natsuki slowly rises off the couch, motioning Yuri to do the same. The two slowly walked upstairs. Yuri meekly asks where they were going, quickly losing her confidence that was there a moment ago.

Natsuki muttered a single word. "Room." She was dreading this and will not give in to Yuri's questions to make it worse.

Yuri thankfully shuts up and follows. Natsuki sighs again, feeling her unease behind her.

"Sorry, I--!"

"No, i-it's o-okay. I-I would a-act t-the s-s-same in your s-situation." Wow, that's six words. Yuri must be really flustered. She would've laughed if she wasn't panicking.

Eventually, they reached her bedroom. Wincing from flicking on the lights, Natsuki sat on her bed. She grabs the pregnancy tests, frowning internally at the result (still fucking positive) before offering one to the purple haired girl at her doorstep. She raises an eyebrow.

"You...You can still back out if you like."

_Please stay. Please stay. Please to all things Yuri fucking stay. I can't do this alone. I **can't--!**_

Yuri takes a pregnancy test, plopping next to her on the bed. Her face was unreadable. Natsuki was relieved beyond belief.

They sat in another silence for what seemed like forever. Natsuki fidgets with the two left in her hands, looking at her bedside window. The night sky was cloudy, the moon dimmed.

It had started to rain.

Time came in bursts because the next thing she remembers is Yuri sniffing beside her. She jumped, not knowing what to do. Did she hurt her without realizing?

She didn't have much time to dwell on that before Yuri embraced her, pulling the petite girl close to her. Natsuki sat stunned.

"Yuri?"

"Natsuki..." She was sobbing by this point, her words barely coherent. "I...I-I'm so sorry."

The pinkette gave out a weak chuckle. "You apologize so much, you idiot. Give yourself a break."

Yuri said nothing, pulling Natsuki closer. She was stupid. Of course, her friends would be there! They have been through so much the few months that she'd had been thinking of them as her home and home is so warm nowadays. At last, home is safe.

She hugs Yuri tighter before noticing the pregnancy tests. They still had two lines on each one of them, but that wasn't what caught her eye.

It was the fact that they were decorated with rain lilies.

* * *

It was much later in the night when Yuri finally lets go of Natsuki. Natsuki couldn't remember much because time came in bursts and she'd hardly focus. She thinks it's because she's still in shock, probably.

The pinkette glances at the window, the rain getting worse. The downpour gradually got louder as time went on. Natsuki swears she heard their recycling bin get knocked down by the wind. But, she's not scared, it's calming.

"Hey hey, Natsuki?" Yuri whispers, her own voice hoarse. "The rain is pretty tonight, don't you think?"

Natsuki couldn't fight the small smile etching on her face. "Mhm, I always thought it was Sayori's thing." She glances at Yuri, who also had a small smile.

"Rain is for everyone I suppose. It's like a spectrum, different variations for different people."

The way she phrased her sentences made Natsuki wonder if they had multiple meanings underneath them, but she agreed with her either way.

"Just like the sun is, right?"

"Mhm."

Natsuki twiddled with her thumbs before glancing at the window and to her fingers again. Paranoia began to squeeze at her heart. Like the sun, the rain was also temporary. But...she didn't say this. Instead, she sighs, tired.

"We'll get through this, right?"

"Mhm."

* * *

_**Bonus!** _

  
The first thing Natsuki felt walking in the grocery store again was fear. Memories of last weeks trip filled her petite body as suddenly her feet refused to move. She did not want to embarrass herself again.

However, when a hand touched her shoulder, she realizes Yuri was there. She wasn't alone.

"A-Are-! Do you want to do this?"

"I'm sure," the petite girl says confidently. The house won't stock itself!"

Yuri silently nods, a soft smile tugging at her lips. She tried to hide it, she really did! But, unfortunately, Natsuki saw, making the both of them turn away to blush.

Nevertheless, the will to walk magically was regained in Natsuki's legs because she walks again. Yuri scrambles to catch up.

"W-Whats the first thing we're getting, Natsuki?"

"Ummm, let me think." She pushes the cart absentmindedly, trying to remember. She's too blissfully in thought to notice the stares other workers and regulars that were there that day were giving to her. And she was too distracted to see the badass looks Yuri gave _them_ back, looks so out of character for her they would make Sayori cheer at her confidence and Monika smile knowingly, probably saying something along the lines of "You are really in love with this girl, aren't you?" But Natsuki didn't catch this, instead innocently looking up and saying, "The produce aisle, probably."

"Oh-! O-Oh, yeah!"

With little to no comment on Yuri's end, they went exploring the produce area. It went nicer than last time, Yuri's presence made Natsuki's nerves calm, and Natsuki's attitude to things entertained Yuri. It was basically a win-win.

However, Yuri caught Natsuki staring at stuff she doesn't usually buy. It happened too often than not; something catching Natsuki's eye, a quick shock by the price, and quickly leave that something faster than she came. It was a downer for both of their moods, so Yuri decided to put matters into her own hands.

The item Natsuki came across now was a bag of strawberries. As soon as Natsuki put the bag down in discouragement, Yuri lifted it again raising her eyebrows.

"You wanted this?"

A blush came across Natsuki's features as she looked away. "No! I mean-- kind of? I-! Just, put it down, you idiot."

"I mean, we can get it if you really wanted--!"

"No! I don't _need_ it, Yuri. I just wanted to...experiment...that's all." She kicks the imaginary dust as her blush deepens. The pinkette's voice gradually got quieter as Yuri slowly connected the dots.

She wants to experiment...oh!  
Oh...

"Do you...have cravings Natsuki?"

"You..! Don't say it that _loud_ Yuri! And don't say _it_ like _that_! Others might hear!"  
It was Natsuki herself who was attracting bystanders, but Yuri didn't dare say that.

"It makes sense. Following your newfound...discovery...it makes sense that you might be subject to these new conditions."

Natsuki went silent, not wanting to remember that she was indeed carrying someone else. Yuri panics, knowing Natsuki's mood is souring.

"I-I'm not judging you! I-I might be able to s-support you on this journey! Tell me, what do you wish to pair with these?"

Natsuki huffs, biting her lip. "Fish," she whispers quietly.

"Hmm?" Yuri sang, not quite hearing Natsuki's voice.

"I said salmon, okay!? I thought it would be a good idea! The sweetness contrasts the salmon's saltness so--!"

"Okay then," she hummed, checking the price. "I'll get it."

Natsuki snorted. "We split the bill, remember?"

"I mean I'll get it as an extra. I think I have some extra money in my wallet-!"

"You don't have to do that."

"I _want_ to do it. There's a meaningful difference between the two words."

"But--!"

Yuri dropped the bag of strawberries into the cart without care. "Now, what's next... poultry right?"

"I..." Sensing there's no use in fighting, Natsuki gave in. Sighing, she pinched her nose. "Yeah, that's next. Thanks."

Yuri smiled shyly, a scarlet forming on her own cheeks. "Y-You're welcome."

 

...

 

Meanwhile, Sayori was at home dealing with homework. She just got back from school, meaning she didn't see the two girls leave. She was utterly alone in this enormous house, making the coral haired girl a tiny bit depressed and lonely. Gosh, she wishes Monika was here right now. But, she needs to deal! She decides to distract her by getting a snack.

Now, she knows people have different ways of dealing with stress. She can't judge, her method of coping with Monika wasn't really the healthiest...per say. Hell, Natsuki's approach was the most normal from all three of them! But, staring at loads of pastries shoved in their very stuffed refrigerator, she thinks things had gone too far.

The smile of the usual sweet addict turns nervous as she looks on at the piles of pastries in front of her.

_I think...we need another fridge._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!
> 
> I totally headcanon that Yuri gives mean looks to people who fuck with her friends. She'll get heated in the moment and then be flustered over it for a few mintues. 
> 
> Also the dokis gave the leftover pastries to a homeless shelter... eventually. Natsuki still frequently gives pastries to homeless shelters when she overbakes (which isn't often anymore phew) or has a new recipe idea she wants people to try. 
> 
> Anyways, I'll be posting way more frequently! I promise! No more month long breaks!  
> See you next chapter!


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